im just a tool to people
i probably get a random message a week, maybe 2 if im lucky. ive got 2 "friends", one of which hasnt messaged me first in months. asked him to hang out, lots of times, for months, and hes always declined, he always says hes busy, somehow he always makes time for his real friends. and then my other friend only messages when they need something, like a random tool or piece of equipment, because they know that if i have it ill let them "borrow" it and then i just wont bother getting it back. and i guess word must have spread that im like this because someone has messaged me out of the blue, who i talked to once years ago, and has just been going on and on about how hes got so many hobbies and hes so smart and good at everything. and im not good at anything and i dont have hobbies and i dont have a passion for anything. nobody ever asks my how i am or asks me to hang out. they just treat me like a disposable object and forget me when im not useful. i dont know what im still living for at this point