I’m extremely lonely
I 21M am entering my final year of college and am very lonely with a girlfriend and no other friends. My gf is very social and I’m awkward and don’t have any (other) friends. She often does stuff out and about with her friends and I spend ~24 hours a day in my bedroom because I literally have nowhere else to be. The only time I leave is to go to class or occasionally see my girlfriend so I probably spend 23 hours on average per day out of my house. I live with a few flatmates who do not talk to me (we are not friends).
I feel like I will not make any friends ever again and if anything happens between me and my gf (ie if we break up) I will truly have no one. I feel suicidal and made some attempts prior to starting my relationship and sometimes I get urges.
It feels to me like everyone already has a group of friends so I have no clue how to make new ones and I hate being reliant on my gf like that. I love her but I know it’s unfair on both her and me, and when she isn’t with me which is 95% of the time I feel extremely alone. I cannot make friends not least because I do not know how- even though I am involved in student organisations and sometimes go to classes, I don’t speak to anyone. I end up sitting at the back and pretending to look busy or just standing like a lump not talking to anyone.
Does anyone know what to do? Does anyone have answers to any questions I haven’t thought of asking?