r/groomingvictim

So when I was younger I was groomed and would send nudes to ppl not even knowing their age,I have a girlfriend who I was dating at the time and now,ik we were just teenagers so it’s not serious but I need to take accountability for cheating and sending the nudes to older ppl when im dating someone,I didn’t really have a choice in sending them cuz they’d spam me but I shouldn’t have spoken to them at all. Sorry for posting 2 times in the same day but I’ve been thinking about stuff-I wanna know if there’s any way to explain it to my gf and also deal with the guilt and take accountability?

I want to be taken advantage of again

and it's eating me alive.

I was groomed online when I was around the age of 12 and it fucked up my mental health.

But I miss the feeling of being desired and loved. Even if I knew they were only using me to get off. I know that love wasn't real. I don't know what to do.

it makes me feel dirty and gross. sometimes I hate the person who did this to me and sometimess I miss them

maybe i could if i actually tried but i have no desire to try i feel so much worse when im not talking to older men i know its horrible i know im fucking myself up but i just cant bring myself to stop when this feels like the only "fix"

She wont tell me who did it or anything. Just that she finally knows its wrong. How do i support her? Im telling her to report it

I feel ljke what happend stunted me
it started when i was like 12 ans now im 15 i sitll have those childish fears and stuff i dont really feel any more mature i am angry at everything i am so behind evrryone else i hate it so muc i feel so disposable
I feel so empty
i am dissapppinted in myself for letting stuff effect me
i dont know how i will be a functioning adult human in 3 years
i will always have these thoughts
I dont know how i will not want to kms everyday when i getn older i dont feel like i got to have a childhood like other people i didny get to finish it and now its all gome
my body is so anxious everyday its so unbearablei judt want someone to understand

im a 17 yr old girl who has been groomed multiple times i've grown to somewhat feel like i need to be groomed to truly feel "loved" which deep down i know i dont but i cant stop seeking older people that take advantage of me because i believe thats what i deserve since im such a bad person

i feel like being on social media since i was 4 was a really bad thing on my part cuz now i genuinely dont feel loved if its in a normal non manipulative way

also sorry if this vent is so like repetitive i just needed to get it out on a public form because hotlines arent working much anymore and i dont have access to a therapist

There are so many things I want to say, but to start, I apologize for talking about this in THIS community, I just don't know where else I could talk about this with people who could possibly understand. For the sake of not being immediately banned I will be using the term MAP but you know the right word for i, and I will use young people for minors.

I hate myself every day, I feel disgusting, I know I'm pathetic, and I recognize I'm a scummy monster. I don't feel deserving of love, and I want to leave this world every day. I don't know if it's just cowardice or if I'm right in thinking death would be too good for someone like a MAP, someone like me.

My dad once told us a story about how an old man in the family had SAd his own granddaughter, and we all hated him for it. And now I have this attraction that no one should ever have, and I'm no better than that POS. I'm just a pathetic sick self-loathing fuck who will live in misery for the rest of his days.

I thank God I've never touched anyone inappropriately or crossed any lines irl, at least that's something. But I'm not innocent, I have engaged in short relationships and inappropriate conversations with minors, and no person should ever do that I know. My family and everyone I know is good and share that belief which is universally true. But I'm fucked up in the head and from 5 years to now I've been this pathetic fucking thing that lusts for people who should only be loved like family or platonically, guided and protected.

I've been perfectly aware of how bad it is, and yet I keep having the urges to look for young people. The last few years of my life I've felt miserable every day because of what I've done. I would look for communities where young people seeked or exposed themselves to MAPS, I would seek their attention and do things that should never be done. It's been a constant cycle of feeling these urges, following through with them, and once I'm there, panicking and blocking everyone and deleting my accounts. Then after some time I would feel the urges again and do it all over. For whatever it's worth, I never forced anyone to do anything to harm themselves, I never threatened anyone and I never forced them to do anything to do something they weren't willing to do. BUT I know that's worth VERY little if anything because at the end of the day I still did something no one should do to young people, and I still took advantage of hurt broken young people who needed actual help in their lives and not a disgusting MAP to come in and feed into their problems. So I know I'm no better than any other MAP.

I feel regret and guilt and disgust every single day and I don't think it will ever stop, I don't think it should ever stop. I think living in misery for the rest of my days is the least I can do after what I've done.

I'm sorry for making this post and I hope I didn't trigger anyone. I don't even know if it's worth it for me to try to post this or talk about it with anyone.

FIRST OF ALL IT WASN'T SEXUAL DON'T WORRY-

So... I had an absent dad for 90% of my life. He left when I was a baby and never looked back. Then, he suddenly did - when I was 9, he suddenly regretted everything and wanted to be the father he never was. So we started talking and he started picking me up to crash on his house.

He treated me well at first. Took me to cool places, bought me cool stuff... nice guy ya know? But then he randomly started showing an obssessive, irrational hatred towards my mom... and not only that, he wanted me to gossip about the bad stuff she made. He would manipulate me and pressure me into talking about her, would badmouth her to me, EVEN WENT AS FAR AS STALKING all my online accounts - seeking any bad comments mentioning mom - and RECORDING our conversations. He mentioned it to my mom once, and when I confronted him, he lied saying he never ever did such a thing.

Then, when he deemed good, he just... started blackmailling me, saying I had to do what he wanted (he wanted me to stop using my phone, presumably to isolate me) or he would take our conversations, my comments, out of context and send it all to mom. And he not only sent them anyway, he also sent everything to CPS so he could ruin her life legally. AND NOT ONLY THAT, he also insulted me: he mocked me for being guillible, for trusting him, said he hates me and is grateful I'm almost 18, so he doesn't have to care for me anymore.

Mom kind of hates me now. She can't understand I got manipulated and thinks I backstabbed her... the first days were hell, but we're just pretending nothing happened now. Still blames me tho.

I think this fits "grooming" definition quite a lot: he approached me and built a bond and stuff with the intention of getting info out of me. He would confront me when I dared to hide stuff (he confronted me for not telling I'm non-binary...? bruh I came out 7 years ago, sorry if you thought I had to come out again because YOU didn't knew), tried isolating me by monitoring my calls, interrogating me about my friends and trying to limit my phone access, and then ultimately blackmailled me and - when I didn't comply - tried ruining my relationship with my mom. It's not sexual, but I heard grooming doesn't always has to be.

i feel so disposable it used to not bother me but its really been starting too recently i know im not a very easy person i know i can be clingy and obsessive but it still really sucks to be discarded by these older guys

im a girl wlw and i dont know what to do. i feel like ive just been destroyed after being groomed. i miss her sm even if i know its bad. i just need to talk with someone im spiraling so badly i feel like if this continues i wont be able to do this anymore

Hai I wanted to share a little story about my life Im not really looking for Adive or comfort I just wanted to say it.

So im gonna start this by sayyying im 16 and in CANADA which means I am the age of consent! So im not looking for sympathy.

To give you a little info I grew up in an emotionally, mentally abusive and sometimes physically abusive household. And my dad is 100% a narcissist and a BUMB AHH creep. So growing up all my life has been s3xu@l from basically the time I was born he was very touchy and did a lot of inappropriate stuff. But ehen I was 13 he FORCED! Me to watch 🟧◼️. A LOT of people say he DIDNT FORCE me to I littarly said "NO" AND "I DONT WANT TO" multiple times before he made me move to turn it on. Nothing came from the report.. I was blamed snd I think this started the spiral

(Ive also been S@'d multiple times and gr00med online many many times from the time i was 13)

But last summer my old therapist reported him, and I moved out to live with my mom full time.

FAST FORWARD to now ive been talking to older guys agian but ive token it a step further... I started to meet with them. Last month my body count was 1 its gone up to 4.

The frist guy I met with was 34. And if course got off to my age he droped me off back at my house then left and blocked me. It was my frist "h00k up" and I felt horrible,sick, disgusting.. but then i did it agian he drove 3 hours to see me he was 23 we meet twice in his car and I have a permanent little scar on my neck from him.

But recently this week I meet a new guy. Ive never gone far from my home. Always in a car on a backroad.. but this guy booked an Airbnb and he came in Monday and is now coming back on Friday.

I told my mom I was sleeping at a "freinds house" im not.

Now here's the thing i dont wanan stop but I know its wrong and these men are definitely creeps but no matter how scared I am I keep doing it. And I know the risks, the danger, of actually being gr@ped or tr#fficed or being killed and honestly I'm hoping for it. Hoping to die. Hoping they hurt me. And im asking for such horrible things for them to do to me. And everytime they leave i want more it dosent satisfie me. Its like Ive become addicted to it.

i’m scared of my photos being traced back to me because i’ve already had one groomer send me back my address from the photo’s metadata. i don’t want to know if they’re being distributed and im so scared the cops will show up and tell me or my family

I've thrown myself into hobbies and doing lots of things to avoid thinking, but it's really hard. I keep thinking about what he's doing and it hurts so much. I loved him so much and now I don't have him. The worst part is that I can't ask my mom for advice because she doesn't know.

If only I hadn't been so stupid, maybe I wouldn't have been groomed and fallen in love with him

we didnt talk long but she treated me like everything ive ever wanted. im trans and a lesbian she would often call me a good girl and just make me feel seen and treat me like a girl. we would talk for hours and hours and my heart would flutter each time. she would always talk about not caring if anyone found out and how she would ruin her own life for me and how perfect i am. we would get “freaky” and midway through she starts ghosting me. shes 19 and im 15 is this grooming?

I am 17, I was groomed from ages 14-16. I want to report him to authorities but I don't know where to begin. I'd like some advice and help. I don't want him to hurt anyone else.

I was possibly groomed by an online friend of mine. I dont even care I was groomed, I am more worried about getting it out because he still actively makes friends and his ex and his own groomer are making friends. They are actively hurting people most likely. And his younger sister is in danger he told me about how far he got to coming to assaulting her but never began??? But I suspect hes lying. They killed real animals.

I can't make a post without it dying, getting no views, anything. Ive been fucking ruined my it all, I lost my irls because i was isolated by him, I cant focus because im so angry about it all. I dont know what I needd help with I want it to stop and its still going

someone pointed it out to me that I only started involuntarily age regressing after getting groomed. I never made that connection 🫩 what the hellllllluhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I hate my life I hate my life I hate my life