did I just get groomed by my own dad...??
FIRST OF ALL IT WASN'T SEXUAL DON'T WORRY-
So... I had an absent dad for 90% of my life. He left when I was a baby and never looked back. Then, he suddenly did - when I was 9, he suddenly regretted everything and wanted to be the father he never was. So we started talking and he started picking me up to crash on his house.
He treated me well at first. Took me to cool places, bought me cool stuff... nice guy ya know? But then he randomly started showing an obssessive, irrational hatred towards my mom... and not only that, he wanted me to gossip about the bad stuff she made. He would manipulate me and pressure me into talking about her, would badmouth her to me, EVEN WENT AS FAR AS STALKING all my online accounts - seeking any bad comments mentioning mom - and RECORDING our conversations. He mentioned it to my mom once, and when I confronted him, he lied saying he never ever did such a thing.
Then, when he deemed good, he just... started blackmailling me, saying I had to do what he wanted (he wanted me to stop using my phone, presumably to isolate me) or he would take our conversations, my comments, out of context and send it all to mom. And he not only sent them anyway, he also sent everything to CPS so he could ruin her life legally. AND NOT ONLY THAT, he also insulted me: he mocked me for being guillible, for trusting him, said he hates me and is grateful I'm almost 18, so he doesn't have to care for me anymore.
Mom kind of hates me now. She can't understand I got manipulated and thinks I backstabbed her... the first days were hell, but we're just pretending nothing happened now. Still blames me tho.
I think this fits "grooming" definition quite a lot: he approached me and built a bond and stuff with the intention of getting info out of me. He would confront me when I dared to hide stuff (he confronted me for not telling I'm non-binary...? bruh I came out 7 years ago, sorry if you thought I had to come out again because YOU didn't knew), tried isolating me by monitoring my calls, interrogating me about my friends and trying to limit my phone access, and then ultimately blackmailled me and - when I didn't comply - tried ruining my relationship with my mom. It's not sexual, but I heard grooming doesn't always has to be.