u/Anxious_Public_6733

im a 17 yr old girl who has been groomed multiple times i've grown to somewhat feel like i need to be groomed to truly feel "loved" which deep down i know i dont but i cant stop seeking older people that take advantage of me because i believe thats what i deserve since im such a bad person

i feel like being on social media since i was 4 was a really bad thing on my part cuz now i genuinely dont feel loved if its in a normal non manipulative way

also sorry if this vent is so like repetitive i just needed to get it out on a public form because hotlines arent working much anymore and i dont have access to a therapist

Warning: we are both minors in highschool

my friend has been like being weird to me for the past few months, like since december, in dec we were all playing gartic phone and he drew this prompt of me getting r*ped by him which everyone thought was weird but like a joke ig

in feb he said he liked me and i said i dont date friends and later on i got a bf which i did mention to him and then he progressively got worse like since march hes been randomly grabbing me by my waist and like humping me??? and saying weird sexual stuff towards me and when i said stop or that i dont like it hes like "i dont need ur consent"

on monday i was in class and he said something so disturbing that i literally got up and walked away he screamed like "im gonna c** all over ur face" and the whole class got quiet and didn't say a word and i was like ew can u leave me alone and then i immediately went home

im assuming that was like the point of realization that i truly felt uncomfortable cuz today he gave me a handwritten letter acknowledging what he did but not apologizing for it just simply saying thats how he is and he has boyish humour and he cant change who he is i just gotta deal with it, which i thought was odd to say and write a whole note about but okay

i guess he only wrote this cuz other kids in my school i dont even talk to are realizing how uncomfortable i am and even say it looks like im hiding from him (which i am) cuz hes always asking where i am at lunch

anyway i wasnt sure if this could be considered sexual harassment or not cuz i sometimes smile when i get nervous or uncomfortable so i guess he probably didnt believe i actually was uncomfortable with what he was doing but idk i just want some opinions on it cuz my friends admit its weird but they say sexual harassment is too far cuz hes a good person and they say guidance probably wont believe me cuz of his rep in the school

my friend has been like being weird to me for the past few months, like since december, in dec we were all playing gartic phone and he drew this prompt of me getting SAed by him which everyone thought was weird but like a joke ig

in feb he said he liked me and i said i dont date friends and later on i got a bf which i did mention to him and then he progressively got worse like since march hes been randomly grabbing me by my waist and like humping me??? and saying weird sexual stuff towards me and when i said stop or that i dont like it hes like "i dont need ur consent"

on monday i was in class and he said something so disturbing that i literally got up and walked away he screamed like "im gonna c** all over ur face" and the whole class got quiet and didn't say a word and i was like ew can u leave me alone and then i immediately went home

im assuming that was like the point of realization that i truly felt uncomfortable cuz today he gave me a handwritten letter acknowledging what he did but not apologizing for it just simply saying thats how he is and he has boyish humour and he cant change who he is i just gotta deal with it, which i thought was odd to say and write a whole note about but okay

i guess he only wrote this cuz other kids in my school i dont even talk to are realizing how uncomfortable i am and even say it looks like im hiding from him (which i am) cuz hes always asking where i am at lunch

anyway i wasnt sure if this could be considered sexual harassment or not cuz i sometimes smile when i get nervous or uncomfortable so i guess he probably didnt believe i actually was uncomfortable with what he was doing but idk i just want some opinions on it cuz my friends admit its weird but they say sexual harassment is too far cuz hes a good person and they say guidance probably wont believe me cuz of his rep in the school

tldr: my friends being superrr creepy and sexual towards me and people think im overreacting