r/TalkTherapy

I feel so conflicted because I trust my therapist and I'm scared of him at the same time? I'm a nervous wreck before and during therapy. We've talked about it very briefly but I wasn't fully honest with him in that moment. I'm planning on bringing it up next session if I can.

I'm essentially afraid of him finding me to be too much, rejecting or abandoning me, and that thought hurts.

Has anyone else dealt with these feelings? How did it go bringing it up with your therapist?

I 26F have completely lost interest in sex.

I have talked to my therapist about this and she says I need to be calm and relaxed before me and my boyfriend (24M) have sexy time, she also encouraged that I incorporate toys to help me get more in the mood since I despise foreplay of all forms

TW TW TW:

I’ve been in therapy since I was 19 for CSA, PTSD, r***, SA, Depression, and Paranoia (typing all of that out just shows me why I have sex issues lol) I have been in therapy biweekly (recently changed to once a month bc I moved) since then and it has helped A LOT. I also am on Antidepressants (Lexapro) & Anti-Anxiety meds (Buspirone) << another reason for low libido lol

I have not been wanting to initiate or engage in sex with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years. I’ve noticed it, he’s noticed it. I am constantly thinking about the last time we had sex and if it’s been longer than 2 months I get anxious and depressed because I have this irrational fear that he is going to leave me because we don’t have sex that often. I also get anxious and depressed when I start telling myself ‘hey it’s time we initiate this with him’ I honest to god do not understand why. I was extremely hypersexual from 17-22, so much so my therapist was getting worried I was self harming through sex (why she had these worries is because I ONLY had sex when I was sad << is this important info ?) I do not have a healthy relationship with sex and i guess it still shows to this day.

My boyfriend is so patient, he is so loving, I love that man to death, I don’t ever want to lose him, he has helped me through my triggers, he shows me every day what unconditional love is, he supports me, he appreciates me, he is the love of my life, and I have us to get married and have kids. it frustrates me so much that I don’t want sex and have no drive for sex. I have cried to this man over my frustrations, I have cried in his arms most nights about how i want to have sex with him but my body doesn’t. He has asked me ‘Do you not find me attractive anymore?’ Then has said ‘it’s okay if you don’t. I just want you to be honest.’ I still find him attractive, I just have no sexual feelings.

We go months without having sex. When we do have sex, I’m not aroused, I can’t get aroused, why can’t I get aroused ? I am constantly in my head questioning, do I like this ? I will tell him if I don’t like something, and he listens. He’s the type of man to make me feel loved.

And then I started thinking ‘do I not find him attractive anymore?’ ‘Did I grow out of love?’ ‘Am I too stressed because I have so many assignments I need to get done?’

I’m stumped. I’m literally so stumped.

I honestly think it’s me. I have no desire to have sex, I have no want to masturbate. I don’t watch porn, I don’t like foreplay, I don’t like reading smut or erotica (I am trying to read books that have some erotic bits and pieces to see if maybe that’ll help. But then I when there’s a smut scene, I start feeling disgusting with myself and stop reading it).

I have a therapist, but does anyone think I need to see a specific Sex Therapist ?

I’ve wanted to be a therapist for a long time. I do struggle with anxiety and am a nurse. I told my therapist I got into graduate school today and he had no reaction at all. No congrats or encouragement. It made me feel like he thinks I’d be a crappy therapist.

People lash out at me for feeling my feelings. I do not raise my voice or lash out at all with them but even the act of feeling my feelings leads me to being attacked when I have feelings in public. Are other people allowed to have feelings in front of other people or is it just me who isn't? What is the point of "feeling my feelings" when I am attacked for it? Is having feelings supposed to be an entirely private act?

Multiple therapists have done this to me during the course of therapy, its not just individuals who may not know any better.

Omg. I. DID. IT. I'm so nervous. He's online and I'm waiting for his reply

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My psychologist (I think perhaps all psychologists) confuses me, and it is traumatic for me. On the one hand, they want you to trust them and pour out your heart, but on the other hand, they seem to ignore the fact that we form bonds when we open up emotionally. By doing so, we form a bond with someone. At the same time, we are not allowed to have a real bond with them and/or get too close. When you talk about 'positive feelings,' boundaries are made clear in no time.

This is so cliché and predictable, as if someone is literally following the steps in a course. They should hide this a bit better.... The problem is that no one, no matter how hard they try, is authentic: they follow a script.

Therapy confuses me because they encourage you to get closer, and when you finally do get closer, they push me away. That is even worse than my childhood trauma and the attachment to my parents. I have no desire for a repetition of my past.

In the meantime, I am going through a very difficult period in my life, and I get more out of complete strangers who are themselves and show what they really think and feel than from my psychologist, who makes cold observations. A friend, even though I haven't known him for very long, lent me an ear, and when he left, he gave me a firm hug that I really needed. Someone else helped me recently after I had an attack. He knew exactly what he was doing and how to revive me with specific touches. He said the right words, and I almost got tears in my eyes because he was so caring and knew exactly what I needed.

My therapist, whom I have been seeing for a year and a half, had never given me that feeling during that period. I often went home empty and tense because he triggers my needs but fails to fulfill them, which leaves me feeling more depressed than before. Then I wonder what the point of their job actually is.

I’ve been seeing the same psychologist (CBT) for about 14 years. Overall he has helped me with a lot of practical things like work issues and interpersonal conflict, and I generally trust him.

But there are a few moments over the years that don’t sit quite right with me, and lately I’m wondering if I’m misinterpreting things or if these interactions are actually a bit odd.

For context: I’ve been in a major depressive episode for about 5 years that I can’t seem to get out of. Before that I was very different — I jogged regularly, biked to work, exercised, had more energy. I told him I feel like my personality changed, but he said it hasn’t. I couldn’t tell if he was reassuring me or saying that this is just who I am.

Here are the specific moments that stood out to me:

• “You’re miserable.”
During one session he said “you’re miserable.” It landed like he was describing me as a miserable person. I later brought it up because it bothered me. It made me feel ashamed, even though I know I am currently very miserable (crying a lot, stuck in depression).

• Comment about trauma.
Because my upbringing involved neglect and verbal/emotional abuse affecting many areas of my life (CPTSD / relational trauma), he once said it would be easier to help me if I had been raped, because that would be a single identifiable event rather than something affecting everything.

• Progress comparison.
Around that same period he said most people would have seen more improvement than I had by now.

• Exercise labeled addiction.
About 5 years ago I used to run 5 km a few times a week and bike to work. It made me feel proud and healthy. He described that as an addiction, and after that it made me feel like the accomplishment meant nothing.

• Going blank when asked about wants.
When he asks about my desires, likes, or goals, I sometimes go blank. He pointed out that if I’m like this with him in a stable, predictable environment (same office, punctual, consistent), imagine how it must be outside. That comment mostly made me self-conscious and anxious about not being able to answer.

• Comparison with other patients.
He once asked why his other patients don’t feel the way I do (related to anxiety). I didn’t know how to respond to that.

• Gardening comment.
I recently started gardening. He said that’s not how I’m going to meet people. After that, when I went gardening, I suddenly felt ashamed, like I’m a hermit or loser for doing solitary things.

• “We’ve known each other a very long time.”
Sometimes he randomly says in session: “We have known each other a very, very, very long time.” It isn’t followed by anything else. It leaves me feeling anxious or confused, like there is an implication I’m missing.

• Phone call incident.
After a bad experience at a psychiatry clinic he recommended, I emailed him explaining what happened. He called me about 30 seconds after I sent it and snapped “I told you not to text me,” and hung up quickly. I had emailed, not texted, because he had previously asked not to send details via text.
Later when I tried to discuss the clinic experience he said it wasn’t necessary to talk about it. Two years later when I brought up the phone incident, he said he thought I was “poking him,” which confused me because I’ve never tried to provoke him.

To be fair, these are only a few odd moments across 14 years. He has helped me with many practical issues.

My main struggles are lack of close relationships, social anxiety, and CPTSD. I think he wants me to get out there more socially. The problem is that I’ve actually had periods in my life with a lot of social interaction, but those connections rarely turn into meaningful relationships, and when things don’t go well it often increases my anxiety and makes me want to avoid people more.

I can't tell I’m overthinking these moments or if others would also find some of this concerning.

Would people consider these normal interactions in long-term therapy?

I’ve been in weekly therapy for over 3 years dealing with severe trauma and CPTSD. Literally just two weeks ago I told my therapist I think I was finally ready to start talking about harder stuff. It’s been a long road for me to trust her and I’ve worked really hard to get to a place where I felt like I was starting to.

Until last week. Basically, mid session I found out she was recording using an AI transcribing software through her EHR. It is HIPPA compliant and deletes the session recording after 48 hours, leaving behind the note. But that’s not the point. She NEVER got consent or mentioned it prior. I had no idea she had been recording our sessions for weeks. I was shocked and barely could speak, by the end of the day I was devastated.

I can’t imagine ever coming back from this with her. I work in mental health, I know the ethics around informed consent and how important it is. With AI transcribing becoming more popular, I know that pretty much every licensing board says to only use them with informed consent (preferably written consent). I got none of that. Her excuse was that she “thought we had talked about it” and that she won’t use it moving forward if it bothers me.

My sense of safety and trust has been shattered into a thousand pieces. I know with my trauma this is making it even worse. I had intense emotional flashbacks all weekend reliving other situations where I felt similar emotional responses and betrayal. I never expected this from her of all people. I thought she understood my struggles with trust. I don’t even know where to go from here. I can’t imagine losing her but this doesn’t feel fixable.

I feel so alone and lost.

I’ve been holding therapy off for years and finally decided to really go for it this time around. Had some consultations over the last couple of months but never went through with it until now.

Had my first session last week and my therapist was a great fit and I really enjoyed my session. But I just received my bill and it was $180 for one session.

This is with putting down my insurance. No plan discount, no plan share, nothing. While I have a decent job right now, I just cannot justify the cost, especially on a weekly or even a bi-weekly basis. I’m so upset because I really did like my therapist and feel like she can help me. I’m just shocked. Is this price considered the norm? (In the tri-state area).

Funnily enough I’m trying to fight anxiety, and now I’m also anxious to break the news I cannot continue sessions with her.

Honestly I don’t know how to feel about this. This was my third therapy session with him. And I was talking about how I got bullied for my looks since I was a teenager and how insecure I am with my looks. He said I was slightly about average looking. I didn’t think he was gonna rate my looks without me asking for it, I already had bad experiences with people being mean to me because of how I look. Was it an insult from him? Was he trying to make me feel better by lying to me? He made me feel bad about myself even more, because I can’t figure out what his intention was.

So I am someone who gets excited very fast and quickly. I live life at the speed of light and only slow down once I'm exhausted.

My therapist knows this and I told her, she saw this happening in real life as every therapy session from November 2025 to February 2026 was emotionally intense and I had a lot of energy.

I did burn out due to it and took a 3 week break to calm down and recover. I came back calmer and the last couple sessions have been "boring" and there's not much going on.

Anyways we all know I hate homework and never do it BUT she suggested one homework task which was when I told her I'm 30 and have no social life or friends anymore and haven't seen them in just over 2 years.

She told me homework was to research and be curious about joining clubs such as a hiking club, book club or something else. I got so excited when she figured what I like being outdoors and now no longer like clubbing or drinking.

She told me the homework was so look up clubs to join but don't act on it. I told her I can't guarantee I will look and not join.

Then she said don't do the homework.

Now I've lost interest in joining anything and wonder why she paused the homework task and just told me to sit and journal and write a pro and cons list of child me

Anyone understand why she would pause the homework when I told her I'd join and probably meet new friends and attach to them quickly but healthily

My therapist does biweekly (when I first started going she told me this is how she rolls) and I was cool with it because she is amazing. But it honestly was never enough, because once again, she helped me so much and having therapy to look forward to helped me get through every other week. I would always tell myself “just a few more days until therapy”... Anyways, now she is doing sessions once every 3 weeks and that (for me) feels so long. And it's hard to get through those weeks. I haven't really considered talking to her about it because she has SO much on her plate and I don't want to bother her. I want to be respectful of her time and at the same time super grateful that she does find time in her schedule to see me. I have tried to be as open as I can with my schedule so she can fit me in literally wherever. But it still ends up being once every 3 weeks. What should I do?

I’m trying to understand this from real-life experience, not looking for medical advice.

When communication with a partner, family member, or friend starts going south, I often find myself treating my therapist like a "lifeline." But lately, I’ve been reflecting on something:

Even though I feel a massive emotional relief after a session, I’m pretty sure my therapist doesn’t actually capture every detail or logic-gate of what I’m sharing.

This makes me wonder—is that huge sense of relaxation just because I finally had someone to vent to? Is a therapist essentially just a professional listener? Because while my spirit feels lighter, the actual communication deadlocks in my life often remain unsolved.

I’m curious about your experience:

Therapy vs. Solution: Did counseling mainly help you "feel better" (emotional regulation), or did it actually provide a framework to solve the core communication problem?

The Information Gap: Do you ever feel like your therapist misses the "subtext" of your situation?

The Practical Barriers: How much did cost or the 2-month waitlists (which is my current reality) impact your decision to keep going?

Meditation Apps: If you use them (Calm, Headspace, etc.), do they actually help you process social signals, or are they just a way to "numb" the stress?

Calm vs. Clarity: When things go wrong, which is more valuable to you: Feeling calmer first, or actually understanding exactly what the other person meant?

I’m most interested in what felt worth the money and what actually moved the needle in your real-world relationships.

My therapist said my feelings are valid (about something I Emailed) what does that mean?

A) I can see how you could feel that way and agree it’s the right way to feel

B) yes I understand you feel that way but actually they are wrong?

Have your therapists ever gotten annoyed at you? How do you guys deal with that? Mine got annoyed at me today and left me feeling worse than before. I was crying after the session. I'm in a high stressed period, and her reactions were not helping.

She did not warn me today that time was ending, and once I finished my last sentence, she just said "Ok, time's up, that's all for today." Without any closing line after my sentence. I felt quite disrespected and unseen. I straight away told her indirectly, "Next time it would be good if she also shows me the clock, so I see when the time is ending, and I will have enough time to close my feelings." She said, "yes that would be good that we keep track of time". Like wth, I mean yeah, she is a person too, but that felt rude, cold and inconsiderate.

Have experienced several traumatic events. There's a couple that I cannot talk about without panicking, despite being well over a decade ago. I still occasionally get flashbacks at certain triggers. I can't say what happened without having a full blown panic attack/flashback. I've tried, repeatedly, I've tried slowly, with various ground skills etc and nothing helps... there's not really a hierarchy of fear possible because I can do everything except say what happened without panicking. I feel I'm managing and then suddenly I can't breathe, like there's no steady escalation where we can stop and say enough. I end up hyperventilating and completely out of it. I've vomited in session before.

It feels really important to me to talk about these events. I feel a lot of shame and it's important that my therapist knows what happened and doesn't judge me. I also just want to be able to choose whether or not to talk about it but right now, its not a choice, and that sucks and really silences me. I feel like I don't get to "process" what happened because it just overwhelms me.

My therapist keeps telling me I don't need to talk about it and the details aren't what matters and I feel like she doesn't want me to get into it. She says she just doesn't want me to flood myself for the wrong reasons. But there is never any way forward to find a way to discuss it safely because I really just don't believe there is one. I feel that PET would be a way forward because exposure has worked for me with another phobia, possibly with meds to support with the panic, but I don't even wanna suggest it as she really seems to think it's a bad idea to talk about it once, let alone repeatedly.

I like my therapist, and she's really experienced and "gets" me. I struggled to find any practitioner I liked. It's taken over a year to feel ready to try and talk about it so starting over would be a BIG decision. I generally like the psychodynamic approach and don't want to fully switch to a CBT based therapy and I definitely don't care for EMDR because all the finger wagging is pseudoscience and I don't want a practitioner who goes in for it (I know the exposure still works).

Last year, I began seeing a therapist through Headway. Over the course of 3-4 months, we met seven times.

When I was seeking treatment, I was using Psychology Today. I used the filters to find someone who accepted my insurance. I reached out to them, and they told me that they use Headway for online appointments. On the Headway website, I verified that they accept Anthem BCBS, and I provided them with my specific insurance information which they used to verify it themselves. For each of the appointments that I had, I was charged a $40 co-pay and paid this every time. This was exactly what my insurance had informed me would be my out of pocket cost, and they would cover the rest. Each time I paid this, my insurance continued to be listed as verified on the Headway website, and my appointments were "in-network".

After some time, I stopped setting up new appointments for personal reasons. Roughly two months later, I get an email from Headway saying that my insurance was suddenly found to be Out-of-Network, and that I am responsible for paying the total cost for each appointment. After several back and fourths between me, my therapist, my insurance, and Headway, it was discovered that Headway was submitting the claims wrong and this was the issue for why they were being flagged as out-of-network. Instead of listing Headway as the provider, they were listing the therapist. Since the therapist operates out of Headway, he would of course appear to be out-of-network because he does not have a personal contract with Anthem BCBS.

Me, my therapist, and my insurance have all asked Headway directly to resubmit the claims properly, and they continue to submit them with my therapist listed as the provider. Each time they do this, they reach out to me to tell me that Headway and Anthem either don't have an agreement in general, or they do not have one for my specific plan. I have provided them with screenshots showing this to be incorrect, from both Anthem BCBS and Headway's own website, but they do not budge at all.

They continue to attempt to charge me the money, and though they don't currently have my payment information on file anymore (they removed it at the start of this issue to ensure I didn't get charged if they did find it to be a mistake on their end), but I am worried about them digging that info up and charging me, or sending it to collections.

I submitted a claim to my insurance immediately and never received any sort of answer. I am at a loss for what I should do. I refuse to pay it, and my therapist says that I shouldn't either. He obviously deserves to be paid for his service, so I can't ask him to forgive the charges, and Headway is not budging. I keep telling them that I won't pay it, but I get robotic responses back stating that there is no agreement between Headway and Anthem BCBS so I am "unfortunately responsible" for paying the charges.

What legal avenues do I have in a situation like this? What are my risks of not paying? I am so beyond tired of dealing with this. Headway has no phone number to reach anyone directly, I have very sporadic email correspondence with different customer service employees and I feel entirely helpless.

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Hi

I’ve been in therapy for two years and a bit

Of course, 80% of the time I am in the office sometimes if I have a new job I go through Zoom calls, which is the case now

Usually, my therapist is in a good mood and seems to have energy but from time to time , I feel that she’s super tired so it seems like a monologue She barely asks questions and I feel like I’m talking to myself. she just gives a nod or asks a small question here and there. It feels weird honestly so I keep on talking

Of course anyone can have a bad day and I totally should respect that. However, yesterday in my zoom call honestly she was half asleep and really I was talking to myself while she just popped in one question like did you have any anger etc

I would have really preferred if she would reschedule because paying above $100 for a session is also unfair on my side.. I was not desperate for this session so it could’ve been moved. Unfortunately, I cannot mention anything I believe? I would’ve really respected it more. If you just told me, let’s do it another day or whatever without any reason.

Anyways, how do you guys handle this? Thanks

I’ve been doing better help for the past couple weeks and I haven’t had the best experience, and it’s been making me question whether therapy is even worth it.

Basically I’ve been seeking therapy due to a combination of being endlessly tired for no reason (good results on bloodwork, healthy weight etc), low self worth, social anxiety, and lifelong procrastination/executive functioning issues and the stress that comes with these. The main thing that caused this was me leaving mid shift due to being overwhelmed and tired. I’ve been having suicidal ideations for months leading up to this and I was pushed to use betterhelp from my mom despite their reputation.

The therapist I matched with after explaining my issues/filling out the questionnaire wasn’t very helpful. During our sessions he explained cbt and wanted me to implement thought reframing to help with negative self talk which helped, other than that his answers to my problems were already self evident and known to me. I already know that me insecurities are irrational, I already know that people don’t automatically hate me and that I can make friends, etc.

He would avoid ever giving me advice or anything for my procrastination at all either, he said that I just lack “strength of character” and that he didn’t sense any executive dysfunction from me, and that I just need to prioritize myself and my needs. He just wasn’t helpful, so I don’t know what to do at this point.

Whenever I talked I had to watch myself to not say anything in absolutes because if I did he would literally throw up his arms and say to reframe it (I suck at blank -> I suck at blank right now but I can improve etc), it’s tiring not being able to actually say what I want to say. At our last session I mentioned my parents being christian and them trying to get me to go to church, and he tried to get me to believe in god (I checked prefer athiest in the betterhelp settings)

Do all therapists throw cbt at you with canned “no actually your problem isn’t real and you can think it away” solutions? If I can get all of these surface level advice from google searching my problems then what’s the point of spending 90 dollars and one hour of my day to discuss them with someone who can’t help.

I have a upcoming doctor appointment, its a annual checkup and I have some self harm cuts from about 2-3 months ago. I just turned 15 years old, and am worried that they will tell my parents and ill get in trouble. I posted this on a different sub, and some pple recommended me to try to cover it with makeup or to wear a hoodie and say that I felt more comfortable keeping it on. Jst wanted to post this on this sub to see if anyone had some more adivce, Thank you