r/SuperMorbidlyObese

I’m looking for insight from women who have actually been in my shoes.

I’m almost 35, 5’4 and about 365 pounds (BMI around 63). My main health issue is lipedema. I’m currently on Zepbound, working with a nutritionist, a mindset therapist for food, and my regular therapist. I know I cannot stay on Zepbound while trying to conceive or during pregnancy.

My husband feels very strongly that we should wait until I lose weight and get healthier before trying. Part of me agrees because I know pregnancy would likely be easier and safer at a lower weight, but I’m also terrified of continuing to put off having children because of my age. I don’t even know if we can get pregnant, and waiting years feels overwhelming.

I’m really looking for honest experiences from women with very high BMIs who either:

• decided to wait and lose weight first

• decided to start trying anyway

• got pregnant unexpectedly at a high weight

• worked with supportive or unsupportive doctors

What were your pregnancies actually like? How were you treated by OBs? Did you regret waiting or not waiting? If you were on Zepbound/Mounjaro/Wegovy, how did you handle coming off of it before trying?

Please be kind. I’m already working on my health and genuinely trying to make the best decision for my future family.

I'm 20 and i weigh 160kg and I'd like to dance or go for walks but my body feels so heavy which makes sense but still, I mostly feel it in my knees and feet. What could I do?

Edit: I also move alot in my sleep so that's when the pain starts, it starts really easily like even if I just stand for 30 minutes.

A couple months ago i was focused mostly on quick daily results and honestly feeling discouraged because nothing seemed dramatic day to day. now looking back, the biggest thing that changed for me wasn’t some perfect diet or insane workout routine. it was just finally staying consistent longer than i usually do. Still nowhere near where i want to be, but simple things are starting feel different now. moving around is easier, i don’t feel exhausted all the time, and mentally it feels less hopeless than before.

Strange realizing how much progress can happen quietly when you stop restarting every week.

Hello, I am trying to find funeral attire for a funeral I'm big and tall so it's very hard going to stores and finding clothes that fit in my area. Does anyone know where I can find any online.

Hi all! I have lymphedema in my left leg (thankfully it’s under control in my lower leg), BUT I have a massive localized lymphedema mass hanging on my inner thigh above my knee. This thing is an absolute NIGHTMARE for my mobility. My leg is so heavy it’s hard to lift, the mass is constantly smacking the back of my right knee and almost knocking me over when I walk, and it’s painful as hell in general. I’ve lost almost 100lbs (current weight is 412lbs) so far. I know it will need to be surgically removed, but obviously it’s just not safe at my size yet. I was curious if anyone here has any experience with having a MLL removed? Specifically on the inner thigh?

(Also just a note- I do have a doctor’s appointment coming up to discuss this with my doctor, but it’s not for another month, so I just thought I’d ask here while I wait for my appointment!)

Bare with me this is my first time posting but the skin under my stomach/above my fupa gets very itchy and irritated, I show every day and wash there all the time what else can I be doing?

​Hello, I am a 5'6" woman whose highest weight was 340. I went all the way down to 207, and now I am currently 266, slowly creeping my way back into the 300s.

​I'm not sure where my motivation has gone or why I can eat extremely clean for a week, then pig out and binge my face off for three days in a row. ​

I'm struggling to get past the first week, then feel like I should treat myself, and I completely go overboard. I'm losing my mind.

I'll reward myself with crumbl cookie then continue to go back everyday. I'm struggling to break this habit.

I really need help coming to terms with my situation

I’ve slowly been gaining weight for a decade
In waves

When I lost my father in 2021 and my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s I changed by working environment to working from home permenantly

I run a very successful graphic design company now but it means I’m sedentary for most of the day and any movement is painful and hellish. I can’t stand for long.
I’m tipping the scales at just over 500lbs now
My life partner is in the middle of body transformation and he’s looking amazing and it’s making me worry
I had my 40th birthday in Jan and rented a very expensive luxury mansion for a week for me and my friends but I don’t feel like I made the most of it. It kind of all fell flat because I couldn’t do much.
I wrote and directed some monologues for a show recently and during rehearsals at the theatre I couldn’t find anywhere comfortable to sit because I was too big for the chairs
I left early and had to miss my own show
I went in for bariatric surgery and I’m even tok fat for that to be done safely
I’m literally at my wits end
My life is flying by without me and I can’t forgive myself enough to to move forward.
I don’t binge eat, I don’t eat fast food.
I didn’t secret eat for years which contributed to initial weight gain. But as I stopped that and went to two meals a day my life because sedentary and even those two meals a day are enough to keep the weight coming on.
I don’t eat bad enough to be the weight I am now as a normal person so it’s so depressing
I think I’m eating the wrong food groups for my lifestyle

How do I move forward

I feel so lost. I’ve so much to be greatful and thankful for but all my friendships and relationships are suffering

I started last year at 561 lbs, today I weighed in at 416 (-145 lbs).

One thing I'm starting to wonder is when is it going to get easier to move around and do basic things again, like just being able to walk around a store for a few minutes without my legs shaking and needing to sit down.

This is one of the worst things about being very obese, is that I cannot even bear to stand up for more than a few minutes. My legs start to shake.

And when I try to walk for more than a few minutes, my legs start to feel heavy and again, start shaking.

It HAS gotten easier to walk just short distances. I walked about 500 feet each way two weekends ago when going to a baseball game for my nephews. That's the furthest I've walked in years in one period without sitting and taking a break (or multiple.)

Surprisingly, I wasn't that out of breath from that walk, and my legs weren't shaking as bad as they would have been a year ago.

Some additional info that may be of note: I broke my ankle and had surgery on it in April 2017. And I broke my back in December 2023 (surgery not necessary, wore a 'turtle shell' brace for a few months.)

But I remember back in college even, when I would walk around campus, I nearly always had to sit and take breaks, and that was before broken bones and probably 200-250 lbs lighter or more.

So, it's not necessarily a new things. But I don't remember life before being obese or super morbidly obese. I know when I was in middle school and high school (graduated in 2013) I would walk a mile or so around the field at my house to try and lose weight back then.

But I distinctly remember in college knowing where the benches were. Friends would walk for miles. The last time I remember walking miles was maybe my freshman year of college, 2013-14.

Then I started gaining weight slowly my junior and senior years.

I have my computer chair in my kitchen. I have not been able to stand to cook in the past several years. I sit when I cook and am doing other tasks like that.

Now I work from home (most of the time), but when I do have to work "on the ground" I have to do walking, which is okay, I can take breaks. (I'm a journalist.) But I cannot for the life of me stand and just chat with someone trying to interview them and it makes me feel like a failure or something, that I can't do what all the other reporters do.

And I have some major events coming up in the next few years where I will be required to stand for long periods of time (likely) and just wondering if it will get easier or what I should do. I am sure I can ask for accommodations, but if I don't qualify somehow, I don't know how I will be able to put my best foot forward (literally.)

Probably TMI, so...
TL:DR: I've had issues even standing for more than a few minutes, walking more than a few minutes, since I weighed in the low 300s/high 200s and before two broken bones (ankle and back, 9 and 3 years ago). Is it going to get easier, or do I have other issues?

Hello,

I’m currently 26 stone and in a weight management course with the NHS to try and lose weight. For 2 years straight I’ve suffered with severe back pain if I stand or walk for longer than 1 minute: as soon as I sit the pain goes away but it’s made it incredibly difficult to get out anywhere

I know I need to lose weight and this is something I’m currently seeking help for and trying to eat better. But my issue is I’ve got a weekend away booked in 10 weeks time and I want to make the most of it. Does anyone have any tips of things that have assisted them with walking? Anything that could help ease the pain

I’ve been in contact with a physio whose given me stretches but so far they’ve been zero help

Any hints or tips would be much appreciated

I recorded myself doing my morning movement routine. And felt 1,500 different emotions playing it back.

I have no real perspective of how I look to anyone else and it was so overwhelming.

That's me? That's my body? That's what other people see when I move through the world?

I have been fat my whole life. Much of my family is fat. I have recently decided to stop actively trying to lose weight after reading about how hard weightloss is on our bodies and how little long-term success there is at keeping weight off.

I want to focus on strength and flexibility.

And also...fuck.

I do not want to be this big.

Do other people grapple with fat liberation, social pressure to be small, but also want to feel strong and be able to move with ease?

Idk. I feel pulled in a million different directions in my brain and heart.

Looking for commiseration and thoughtful replies.

Notes for consideration: 33F - 355lb - 5' 5" - Normal labs/other health markers. ADHD - OCD-like anxiety.

I have lost weight - about 40 pounds in under a year. 300 to 260.

While I do not get out of breath anymore (almost never, and I used to, constantly) I have noticed that body parts that never hurt before are starting to - my thigh/butt and now my back when I do things like mow the lawn- this did not happen at my higher weight.

I am wondering if I am overdoing it because I can now do so much more? Or if those things always hurt, but I just did not notice it as I was too wrapped up in the being out of breath? I also suppose it is possible I have lost muscle, although I am and have always been moderately active and I have lost weight very slowly.

On the plus side - I no longer have knee pain, I no longer have weak ankles, and my stamina is great!

Have any of you experienced new aches and pains as you lost weight, and what do you think was the cause?

Pretty much what the title says. I’m female and not successful when masturbating. I have a variety of toys (mostly vibrators and a dildo) but tend to stick to my bullet vibrator as this is the only one that I can reliably cum with.

I find when I use my insertable vibrators or dildo that I have trouble getting it fully into my vagina. It’s like I can’t find the hole. I’m a virgin (kind of- it’s a long story) but have had one partner who was able to insert his penis into me enough to pop my cherry but not enough to get any real pleasure. I also have an extremely large apron belly, it hangs down quite far over my pubic area.

Is there something I’m doing wrong? Is there any kind of tips or tricks I could use? I’m so sexually frustrated and just want to be able to penetrate myself and I can’t. Appreciate any help you can give.

Hey everyone,

I’m posting because I’m at a point where I know I need help, structure, and accountability.

I’m severely overweight, and my mental health has made it hard to stay consistent. I’ve dealt with depression, shame, anxiety, and a lot of “start strong, fall off, hate myself, repeat” cycles. I don’t want to keep living like that.

I’m not looking for people to roast me or give me extreme advice. I’m looking for practical support, encouragement, and maybe accountability from people who understand what it’s like to feel stuck but still want to change.

Right now, I’m trying to focus on small steps instead of trying to fix my entire life overnight. Things like:

Eating better one meal at a time

Sitting up or moving a little more each day

Staying consistent even when I feel embarrassed

Not giving up after one bad day

Taking my mental health seriously instead of pretending I’m fine

If anyone has been through major weight loss, depression, food addiction, or rebuilding their life from a low place, I’d really appreciate advice. I’d also be open to an accountability buddy or a small group where we check in without judgment.

I’m tired, but I’m not done. I want to get better. I just know I probably can’t do this completely alone anymore.

Thanks for reading.

So I'm not abandoning calorie awareness (more like guesstimating than counting at the moment), but I'm trying to do a hybrid thing with intuitive eating because all my sustainable changes have been natural rather than forced. Here's how that went this weekend...

NSV 1: Enjoyed my froyo

I was in a play and celebrated the last show on Saturday with froyo. I had a talk with myself beforehand that I was allowed to get and enjoy whatever I wanted but I had to check first that I actually did want it. For me a big part of the appeal of froyo is the ability to mix and match a little of everything, but I was curious if I actually wanted everything or was just afraid of missing out and "wasting" the "splurge." This time I told myself I could always come back another day and get other flavors and toppings. Listened to my body and got exactly what I wanted, which turned out to be a non-dairy cherry Dole whip flavor with toasted coconut flakes, strawberries, peanut butter cups, and two gummy worms. Then I ate it slowly while focusing on enjoying every bite instead of dreading it being gone. And when I was done, I didn't wish I had more. It was the single most mindful dessert I've ever eaten and afterward I felt so satisfied that I actually teared up. All for probably 350 calories that fit within my daily goal.

NSV 2: Didn't want ice cream

My family decided to go out for ice cream for Mother's Day. My immediate gut reaction was "I don't want that because I just had froyo" instead of "I can't have that because I just had froyo." Double checked the flavor of the day and didn't care for it. Past me would be happy for any socially acceptable reason to eat ice cream, would have gotten a sundae and probably mildly enjoyed it. Instead I thought about what I actually needed/wanted, which was dinner, because I had snacks throughout the day but no meals. So I got a grilled chicken sandwich and genuinely didn't wish I was having ice cream like the rest of my family.

NSV 3: Felt neutral at the grocery store

After ice cream my sister was going grocery shopping and I tagged along because I needed toothpaste and my weekly box of Zevia (sugar free soda). I tend to feel a little bit deprived if I don't leave the grocery store with something "special" but literally everything I saw felt like "meh, I can always get that later, there's food at home." I left with 1) the toothpaste 2) the Zevia 3) two bananas for breakfast 4) some grape tomatoes for tomorrow's snack 5) nothing else. And I literally didn't care because I was full from the chicken sandwich. Normally I would have eaten one of the bananas the second I left the store but I asked myself if I wanted it and it turned out I did not. So now I have bananas for tomorrow and the next day!

Since starting I've lost 70 lbs and learnt a lot about weight loss, how water retention works, how stress and illnesses can slow weight down, and just how this isn't all just maths and 1000 off my recommended calorie intake to maintain weight doesn't guarantee 2 pounds off every week. But I know it's working now, I better understand random pounds put on is a lot of factors that isn't fat gain. And that increase will be gone in a week or two because it's happened a few times over my weight loss journey, and what I'm doing is working cause I'm 70 lbs lighter from when I started and in a few months I'll be 100 lbs. That's for the people who might be worried after every weigh-in to see a increase.

The reason I started my weight loss journey last year was for my grandmother when I went to see her after a long time, I had never seen the woman look so brittle that I knew that maybe the next year she'd be gone, she's still around thankfully but I knew that I didn't want her passing worrying that I might be joining her sooner than I should, so I started losing weight for her. A few days ago I told her over the phone that this was all for her and that how many years she has left I wanted it to be her enjoying herself and without the worry I'm not looking after myself. She said how proud she was and she was indeed worried, but now she feels a lot better. And I told her that even if she did go, I wasn't going to stop till I was healthy.

I wanted to post this because I wanted to tell people, and it's not something I would have done ages ago because I never had a lot of self worth, but since starting I am also proud of myself like my grandmother is, and feeling like I deserve some self worth again.

Welp, it happened.

After almost two years of being period-free, it’s come back. I’d almost forgotten how MISERABLE this is. Currently lying in bed fighting for my life because the cramps are as horrific as I remember. Not to mention everything else.

I jokingly told my sister “I’m down 40 lbs…but at what cost” lmao.

I have no intention of having kids so this is a nuisance for me, but for the women who want children but their periods either became irregular or stopped after gaining a lot of weight, I hope this helps to inspire and motivate you!

How do i use the stick that holds TP? Standing or sitting? Front to back or back to front? Please help

I had been in the middle of a hot streak for weight loss. I've got a trip later this year and it was the perfect motivation to lose more weight, and I had been doing really good! I was walking consistently on my work breaks and swimming for exercise.

On Sunday, I fell down the stairs and tore my MCL in my knee. I feel like everything is ruined and I'm so frustrated. I'm not supposed to even TRY to stand/walk for another three weeks.

I know that most of weight loss is diet and I'm keeping my calories in check. But I also can't even measure my progress because I can't stand and so I can't weigh myself!

This is just so awful. Has anyone been through this?

I've just hit my second big weight loss goal. First was 5% of my starting weight, second was 10% of my starting weight (which also happened to be going down into the next 10 of BMI).

My next huge goal is another 60kg away, so I need something to aim for shorter term. Should I do another 5%? Another 10s down in the BMI? A funny number?

This is is a very lighthearted post, but it does help to have something that feels more achievable than 'stay on track for the next year'.

For reference, I'm 30, 5'8"/1.73m and started at 265kg/584lb and now at 238kg/523lb. Next huge goal is 180kg/396lb, and you'll understand this is a looooong-haul process.