I can’t forgive myself to move forward
I really need help coming to terms with my situation
I’ve slowly been gaining weight for a decade
In waves
When I lost my father in 2021 and my mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s I changed by working environment to working from home permenantly
I run a very successful graphic design company now but it means I’m sedentary for most of the day and any movement is painful and hellish. I can’t stand for long.
I’m tipping the scales at just over 500lbs now
My life partner is in the middle of body transformation and he’s looking amazing and it’s making me worry
I had my 40th birthday in Jan and rented a very expensive luxury mansion for a week for me and my friends but I don’t feel like I made the most of it. It kind of all fell flat because I couldn’t do much.
I wrote and directed some monologues for a show recently and during rehearsals at the theatre I couldn’t find anywhere comfortable to sit because I was too big for the chairs
I left early and had to miss my own show
I went in for bariatric surgery and I’m even tok fat for that to be done safely
I’m literally at my wits end
My life is flying by without me and I can’t forgive myself enough to to move forward.
I don’t binge eat, I don’t eat fast food.
I didn’t secret eat for years which contributed to initial weight gain. But as I stopped that and went to two meals a day my life because sedentary and even those two meals a day are enough to keep the weight coming on.
I don’t eat bad enough to be the weight I am now as a normal person so it’s so depressing
I think I’m eating the wrong food groups for my lifestyle
How do I move forward
I feel so lost. I’ve so much to be greatful and thankful for but all my friendships and relationships are suffering