u/Hot-Sentence7128

Hello everyone,

I'm a 39M and I'm 650lbs. Yeah, you read that right. I'm sitting here laying in bed feeling the effects of my sleep medicine that helps me fight insomnia. I just am reaching out to the world. I have been bed bound for over a year and pretty much immobile. My hygiene is non-existent compared to what it once was. I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm just painting a picture.

I just wish I didn't feel the way I do inside. I feel like there is this dark passenger in my heart. It appeared in my early 20s and made its home there. I only see life through that lens. I know what is my fault and what choices made along the way of this life have led to this moment in time. I look at pictures of my youth. Looking into my youthful eyes I can see the light that once was. Now just a dead man in this prison of flesh waiting for his sentence.

This feeling I have when I reference this dark passenger comes from inside my chest. I don't know if it's my heart. I don't know if it's my soul. Nevertheless it stays with me daily. It's with me when I wake and with me as I lay. It's the reason I cling to my vices. For some moment of relief. Yet it's also the vices that add more strength and power to this dark passenger.

I wish very much so to get rid of or remove this darkness, but I have been unsuccessful in these 20 years. I just would like to not go out like a candle whose wick is quenched by the melting wax.

Sorry for the post being a little weird. Also, sorry for the grammar I never graduated or went to highschool. I just wrote from the heart. I just wish I wasn't depressed anymore. I've tried counseling, medication, and other therapies. I just am tired of waking up everyday and wish that when I woke up things would be drastically better. If you're still reading at this point thanks for sticking around.

Hey everyone,

I’m posting because I’m at a point where I know I need help, structure, and accountability.

I’m severely overweight, and my mental health has made it hard to stay consistent. I’ve dealt with depression, shame, anxiety, and a lot of “start strong, fall off, hate myself, repeat” cycles. I don’t want to keep living like that.

I’m not looking for people to roast me or give me extreme advice. I’m looking for practical support, encouragement, and maybe accountability from people who understand what it’s like to feel stuck but still want to change.

Right now, I’m trying to focus on small steps instead of trying to fix my entire life overnight. Things like:

Eating better one meal at a time

Sitting up or moving a little more each day

Staying consistent even when I feel embarrassed

Not giving up after one bad day

Taking my mental health seriously instead of pretending I’m fine

If anyone has been through major weight loss, depression, food addiction, or rebuilding their life from a low place, I’d really appreciate advice. I’d also be open to an accountability buddy or a small group where we check in without judgment.

I’m tired, but I’m not done. I want to get better. I just know I probably can’t do this completely alone anymore.

Thanks for reading.