u/chasingbetterdays

For anyone here struggling to lose a person-sized amount of weight, or two people, or more—I want to say something directly to you, because you may need to hear it just like I’ve had to tell myself.

Just because you don’t see the difference in yourself, doesn’t mean the journey has been a waste.

Your progress photos may not look dramatic.

Someone else may lose 30 lbs (not downplaying or minimizing how amazing that is at all) and look like a completely new person.

Others, like me, can lose 145 lbs so far and just look like a tad smaller version of the obese person that started this journey about 13 months ago.

That’s one thing I’ve really struggled with this whole time. The scale says I’m losing a large amount of weight. But my eyes say “where did it go?”

I don’t offer any advice or platitudes here. It’s just the reality—when you start at a higher number (560 lbs for me), you aren’t going to have the same journey as someone else might.

But now you’ve read this, you know you’re not alone, and that you just have to keep going.

Don’t worry about where “it” went.

Worry about where YOU are going.

🍋-Chase

I started last year at 561 lbs, today I weighed in at 416 (-145 lbs).

One thing I'm starting to wonder is when is it going to get easier to move around and do basic things again, like just being able to walk around a store for a few minutes without my legs shaking and needing to sit down.

This is one of the worst things about being very obese, is that I cannot even bear to stand up for more than a few minutes. My legs start to shake.

And when I try to walk for more than a few minutes, my legs start to feel heavy and again, start shaking.

It HAS gotten easier to walk just short distances. I walked about 500 feet each way two weekends ago when going to a baseball game for my nephews. That's the furthest I've walked in years in one period without sitting and taking a break (or multiple.)

Surprisingly, I wasn't that out of breath from that walk, and my legs weren't shaking as bad as they would have been a year ago.

Some additional info that may be of note: I broke my ankle and had surgery on it in April 2017. And I broke my back in December 2023 (surgery not necessary, wore a 'turtle shell' brace for a few months.)

But I remember back in college even, when I would walk around campus, I nearly always had to sit and take breaks, and that was before broken bones and probably 200-250 lbs lighter or more.

So, it's not necessarily a new things. But I don't remember life before being obese or super morbidly obese. I know when I was in middle school and high school (graduated in 2013) I would walk a mile or so around the field at my house to try and lose weight back then.

But I distinctly remember in college knowing where the benches were. Friends would walk for miles. The last time I remember walking miles was maybe my freshman year of college, 2013-14.

Then I started gaining weight slowly my junior and senior years.

I have my computer chair in my kitchen. I have not been able to stand to cook in the past several years. I sit when I cook and am doing other tasks like that.

Now I work from home (most of the time), but when I do have to work "on the ground" I have to do walking, which is okay, I can take breaks. (I'm a journalist.) But I cannot for the life of me stand and just chat with someone trying to interview them and it makes me feel like a failure or something, that I can't do what all the other reporters do.

And I have some major events coming up in the next few years where I will be required to stand for long periods of time (likely) and just wondering if it will get easier or what I should do. I am sure I can ask for accommodations, but if I don't qualify somehow, I don't know how I will be able to put my best foot forward (literally.)

Probably TMI, so...
TL:DR: I've had issues even standing for more than a few minutes, walking more than a few minutes, since I weighed in the low 300s/high 200s and before two broken bones (ankle and back, 9 and 3 years ago). Is it going to get easier, or do I have other issues?

So I gained 4 lbs back. I'm at 136 down now instead of 140 and I'm not going to pretend that doesn't sting a little.

What's weirder is that some smaller sized clothes that were beginning to fit in the fall/winter feel tighter again—even though I'm notably about 30 lbs down from the time when I started wearing smaller sized. I don't fully understand it but it's frustrating.

But 136 lbs down is still 136 lbs down. A year + in and that number isn't going anywhere no matter what the scale does week to week.

Just keeping it real with you all because the frustration is real and I see many of you struggling in one way or another. But like the title says, progress isn't always a straight line. Celebrate the wins, and don't forget them when your journey hits roadblocks. You started this journey with Ro for a reason, just like I did.

Hang in there.

How are y'all handling the ups and downs?