idk if it’s just me but my mind is always on
like even when i’m trying to relax it just jumps from one thought to another
random stuff, old memories, things i said years ago, things that might happen
it’s exhausting but at the same time i got used to it somehow
i tried ignoring it or distracting myself but it always comes back
is this normal or am i just overthinking too much
Your perspective would be so helpful to me 😄
After I initiated five months of no contact, I reached out to a long time friend suggesting we chat to officially close the chapter on our friendship, but her response was unexpectedly ambiguous. She replied by saying she was "happy to meet up" but asked to schedule a time to meet for sometime in June because she has a few work exams to get through this month. I followed up to clarify that I didn't want to "negotiate her feelings" (where suggested us implementing boundaries) like I had in our last call... where she originally suggested ending the friendship.
I explicitly asked if she was actually open to reconnecting or if she’d prefer to just close the friendship. She offered a brief apology, noting that the previous conversation "could’ve been better on her part" as well, and only stated that she still wants to meet in June.
Despite this, her messages feel clinical and lack of any real emotion or enthusiasm, leaving me wondering if she’s genuinely interested in reconnecting our friendship or if she’s just being polite and wants a final goodbye in person ???
Let me start by saying that I tend to overthink, it somehow keeps me sane. I’ve had someone I consider a close friend for a few years now, but lately, I feel like something is off.
They’ve visited my town several times, and every single time, I invite them to stay over at my place. Somehow, there’s always a reason not to. (For context: they’ve never been to my house, and no, it’s not because I’m messy. I’m actually extremely organized)
Whenever I suggest we grab a meal together, there’s always an excuse, even if I offer to drive to her town. I’ve also bought them gifts and I’ve tried to send multiple times, but nothing ever comes of it, and we keep pushing back.
I’m always the one texting first and replying quickly, while they’ll respond days or even a week later. Their reason is always that they’re busy. But honestly, I’m busy too: with work and with trying to survive adulthood.
The other day, I tried telling her about my longtime crush, and she completely brushed it off like it was nothing. I don’t usually talk about boys or men, so I just wanted to share that silly excitement girls sometimes have over crushes. Meanwhile, we can spend ages talking about “her man, her man,” which I genuinely don’t mind because her partner seems very supportive.
I’m tired of always being the one making the effort, but at the same time, I don’t want to be a bad friend.
I don’t mind being without friends, but she’s emotionally supported me during difficult times. Emotionally, I feel indebted, physically I am tired.
Am I overthinking everything? And when did friendships become so difficult.
I used to overthink which i didn't realise earlier like getting lost in thoughts or keep planning about the future. I started meditation then i realised that i have so many thoughts and my thinking pattern is more of overthinking.
Then, my mind started monitoring thoughts and constantly kept checking whether thinking or not and present or not. Tried multiple ways now but got frustrated. Now even when i talk to friends or family then i keep checking about thinking or not.
This self awareness has made me more aware of my thoughts (which were in the background earlier but now actively interfering), made me more aware of my brain fog. Now i think that thinking or overthinking was a small problem compared to "Checking or Monitoring" or this hyper-awareness mode.
Any suggestions would be appreciated regarding should i let thoughts flow as it is and should cut ties with "monitoring" or any other way out.
I’ve started asking myself this question whenever something stresses me out:
“Will this matter in 5 years?”
Surprisingly, most things don’t.
It’s helping me stay calmer and focus on bigger priorities.
Do you have any mental rules like this?
I overthink literally everything. I’m always scared of messing things up, and it kinda holds me back a lot. Even when I wanna try something new, I just end up thinking about all the ways it could go wrong.
Same with dating. I keep thinking about how the other person might take what I say or do, like “what if this makes them like me less?” even though it’s probably not a big deal at all.
Because of that, it can take me forever just to send a message to my crush.
How do you deal with this?
i've recently come to the realization that i am ultimately responsible for myself and my overall well being. i'm 27F and after getting my nervous system wrecked by a situationship, this led me to reflect deeply on my issues and patterns.
you see, i grew up just figuring things out on my own, got verbally abused by my siblings, and that led to low self esteem and idk just hatred for myself. and now after reflecting on my issues and shit, i realized i dont know what to do with myself.
HOW DO I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF????? i noticed that i am reckless with money and i dont take anything seriously. that's why the realization that i am ultimately the only person responsible for myself is so harrowing to me.
please if you have tips. or general advice i would gladlt want to hear them. i am riddled with anxiety. 😭 Thank you!!
This happened in 2021/2022. I was a child and didnt know any better. I was on discord when someone chatted me that if i gave them my gmail password theyd give me robux (yes i know i was stupid i was VERY young). He was nice and i thought it was legitimate because he also sent proof of other people he msged(spoiler alert it was his friends in on the scam). I gave him my gmail password, he changed the pass unsurprisingly (not my gmail anymore), and after that, he told me to go on call with him, i did, and then he proceeded to tell me to take off my clothes or else hed never give my gmail back, i was scared and a child and i didnt know what to do because ik my parents wouldve killed me if they found out i got hacked, so i did it. I felt so disgusted and ashamed of myself while doing the innapropriate acts he told me to do. After that, he gave my gmail acc back, but a few days later he hacked it again and threatened to send the vid if i didnt send anymore. I told my parents about it and they were furious, they told me to log out of the old gmail and create a new one and block that guy. It’s been 4-5 years, but i still cant sleep worrying that if he finds me hell send that to the people ik and ruin my life. Please someone give me reassurance that im fine..🥹
Recently I’ve watched video on this topic and it kinda opened my eyes. I’ve never really looked at it that way.
I have this thing where I really like starting new things but I hate finishing them, it turns out it also got into my thoughts too!
You think abt something bad, you don’t search for the answer or at least pleasurable ending for your own good, but you just keep replaying the same bad part over and over again.
I think finding the good in a bad is the key to stopping that cycle
Can anyone suggest how to relax mind, I don't know why I think over and over, what I think I don't know just thinking.
Please share your suggestions
How I can stop overthinking
I need to get this off my chest because I feel like I’m going a bit crazy in my own head.
I’m in a situation where nothing bad is actually happening… but my mind keeps creating scenarios that feel 100% real. For example, my boyfriend goes out somewhere (like a fair, party, whatever), and my brain immediately goes to: “What if he cheats on me?” “What if he meets someone better?” “What if I lose him?”
And the worst part is — I KNOW there’s no actual proof. He didn’t do anything wrong. But my body reacts like it’s already happening. Anxiety, tight chest, overthinking everything.
Then I start analyzing:
And I get stuck in this loop where I either want to:
But I also realize that this kind of behavior can actually damage the relationship, even if my intention is just to feel safe.
It’s like:
I don’t want to be controlling… but I’m scared of being hurt.
I don’t want to overthink… but my brain won’t stop.
I don’t want to push him away… but my anxiety makes me act in ways that could do exactly that.
Has anyone else experienced this?
How do you deal with thoughts that feel real but probably aren’t?
I’m trying to understand if this is anxiety, attachment issues, or just me overreacting… but right now it feels really overwhelming.
Any advice or shared experiences would mean a lot.
I feel like I don't live in the reality im in. I never take care of what I have in the present because I feel like the future is going to get worse, like I cannot acknowledge that my thoughts are not my reality.
I can't quite differentiate them. I have horrible thoughts, that gets me scared, terrified, anxious, about life. For example, if I get a dog, I will think about the fact that he'll die, and for that exact reason I won't be able to spend time with him because it really makes me anxious.
I think it's an avoidant thing. But the more time passes by, the more I feel like if ever one of my loved ones have a terrible disease or anything, I won't be able to support them even though I am willing to, due to this feeling, and it makes me even more anxious.
This happened in 2021/2022. I was a child and didnt know any better. I was on discord when someone chatted me that if i gave them my gmail password theyd give me robux (yes i know i was stupid i was VERY young). He was nice and i thought it was legitimate because he also sent proof of other people he msged(spoiler alert it was his friends in on the scam). I gave him my gmail password, he changed the pass unsurprisingly (not my gmail anymore), and after that, he told me to go on call with him, i did, and then he proceeded to tell me to take off my clothes or else hed never give my gmail back, i was scared and a child and i didnt know what to do because ik my parents wouldve killed me if they found out i got hacked, so i did it. I felt so disgusted and ashamed of myself while doing the innapropriate acts he told me to do. After that, he gave my gmail acc back, but a few days later he hacked it again and threatened to send the vid if i didnt send anymore. I told my parents about it and they were furious, they told me to log out of the old gmail and create a new one and block that guy. It’s been 4-5 years, but i still cant sleep worrying that if he finds me hell send that to the people ik and ruin my life. Please someone give me reassurance that im fine..🥹
Lately, I’ve just felt this inner battle within myself trying to figure who the fuck I am and everyone just asking me what’s next time. Sometimes it’s so frustrating cuz I don’t fucking know I’m learning about myself everyday. Who fucking cares if I’m 26 man, eventually I will but it’s like leave me the fuck alone and let me do this on my own. I don’t need family, society telling me what I need to do at a certain age. That’s up to me, I know I’ve got my fair share of shit and stuff to deal with. I swear whatever life lessons or crap I needa face rn I will. But mark my words or whoever reads this IM NOT COMING BACK HERE.
Have you noticed when you’re on the bus or sweeping the floor and a problem or question pops in your head, you answer it better to yourself (in your own inner-voice) rather if you answer it on a piece of paper or have to verbally explain yourself? I don’t overthink at all in these way. Answer and explanations flow easy. how can I get this flow of answers without having to sweep the floor or get on the bus?
I used to think all my problems came from lack of motivation.
Turns out most of my problems came from lack of clarity.
I would spend hours thinking about life, my future, goals, problems, ideas. And somehow my brain convinced me that thinking is equal to progress.
It isn't.
Thinking without action just becomes mental masturbation after a point.
What actually helped me move forward was creating systems that stop me from living only inside my head.
This genuinely changed a lot for me.
Most thoughts in our head are noise. Random fears, fake urgency, overthinking, comparison, imaginary scenarios. When you write daily, you slowly separate actual problems from mental clutter.
And once you start getting clarity, life becomes simpler.
You stop staring at the ceiling wondering what to do because now you actually know what matters to you.
Purpose removes a surprising amount of suffering.
Not vague motivation.
Actual written goals.
I started dividing mine into:
Because the brain forgets everything.
You'll wake up motivated one day and completely lost the next day. That's normal. Your brain will always try to escape discomfort through easy dopamine like scrolling reels, YouTube, random distractions.
Written goals act like anchors.
You don't have to rediscover your direction every morning.
Every morning I make a small task list based on:
And honestly, most tasks are very small.
But checking them off at night feels ridiculously satisfying.
At first it feels forced. Eventually it becomes automatic.
You stop relying on motivation because now your day already has structure.
And slowly you notice something important:
You are actually moving forward in real life instead of just imagining yourself moving forward in your head.
My therapist once told me:
"No effort goes wasted."
Even if results don't show immediately, consistency compounds quietly in the background.
I followed this system properly for around a month and for the first time in a long time, I felt practical progress instead of fake productivity.
Because overthinking creates the illusion of progress.
Action creates actual progress.
Even 10% effort daily changes your life more than endless thinking ever will.
This past week reminded me of something important.
Sometimes life will place multiple situations in front of you at the same time, not to break you, but to show you what you’ve already been feeling beneath the surface.
Family. Relationships. Responsibilities. Boundaries. Energy.
All of it.
And what I’ve been realizing is that not every situation is truly about the thing being presented on the surface.
Sometimes people are carrying things internally that spill over into the way they approach others. Sometimes confusion, loneliness, pressure, or unresolved emotions can shape the way someone moves, even when they may not fully realize it themselves.
That’s why presence matters.
Because when you slow down long enough, you begin to see the difference between what feels aligned and what feels forced. You stop reacting immediately and start paying attention to what something is actually bringing into your space.
This week brought me back to that.
Back to center. Back to observation. Back to trusting what I felt from the beginning instead of talking myself out of it.
And honestly, I think that’s part of the journey too.
Not becoming hardened. Not becoming reactive. Just becoming more aware.
Because clarity doesn't always come through loudly. Sometimes it arrives through repetition. Through patterns. Through the same lesson returning until you finally sit with it fully.
And once you do, something settles inside of you.
Not because life suddenly became perfect, but because you can finally see clearly enough to move with intention instead of confusion.
And I think that’s why spaces for reflection matter so much.
Clarity isn’t about being told what to do. Sometimes it’s simply having the space to sit with what’s already trying to show itself.
Sorry if I'm on the wrong sub, I'll delete if it's now allowed.
My mental state is beyond gone. I feel numb, and alone. My head feels clouded constantly. I am lucky if I get 4 hours of sleep, and I am struggling to stomach food.
The only thing I feel physically and mentally is pain. It's to a point where I am begging to be hurt in some way, because I'd rather feel something, then nothing.
I know it's best to get it off my chest, but my family raised me to not talk about what's going on in my head, so I struggle to open up ever.
I can't open up to family, I'll just be ridiculed. I don't trust anyone else, other than my girlfriend.
When I tried to open up with her in the past, it caused a panic attack in her, and I had to help with that instead.
I like to be alone, but I've never felt this empty and hollow before, and I just don't know what to do.
I hope getting it out off my chest will help.