u/stargazeeeeer

i've recently come to the realization that i am ultimately responsible for myself and my overall well being. i'm 27F and after getting my nervous system wrecked by a situationship, this led me to reflect deeply on my issues and patterns.

you see, i grew up just figuring things out on my own, got verbally abused by my siblings, and that led to low self esteem and idk just hatred for myself. and now after reflecting on my issues and shit, i realized i dont know what to do with myself.

HOW DO I TAKE CARE OF MYSELF????? i noticed that i am reckless with money and i dont take anything seriously. that's why the realization that i am ultimately the only person responsible for myself is so harrowing to me.

please if you have tips. or general advice i would gladlt want to hear them. i am riddled with anxiety. 😭 Thank you!!

no contact for almost 4 weeks now. some days are okay but most of the time i feel like crying. im still in a group chat with him, we have the same circle of friends and we kept the situationship a secret from them. i spiral whenever i see his name on the GC. To add, most of the participants in this gc are all men. And most of the time I feel left out...idk how to navigate this. I feel alone and I feel like I cant talk to anybody bc the closest people I have are there in that groupchat and i dont have any other friends.

I'm grateful for these feelings. Even though I feel lonely and sad about a situation that happened, even though it made me into an anxious mess. I am still grateful for feeling it. I don't want to go back to being someone who suppresses my feelings. So even if I feel hopeless, and think that I can't go through this, I'm still lucky I get to feel. It shows me that I'm living.

(But I sure do hope I will feel okay again. Situationships suck!!!)

hi! i want to read some books that will make me feel like life is worth living. that there are alot of things in store for me. that it's not too late. that i have yet to meet the people that will love me.

lol.it's obvious that i'm going through it.BUT GOD I NEED A LIFELINE.

before the situationship, i was mainly okay being alone. sure there were times that were lonely, but i knew what to do with myself. i spent my days alone, not talking to friends i've outgrown, i was in peace.

but then the situationship happened. and now idk what to do with myself anymore.

3 weeks no contact now. i'm glad that i'm not crying everyday but then i get this anxiety bc idk what to do. i can't seem to enjoy my hobbies bc i'm questioning myself if i'm really enjoying or am i just keeping myself distracted not to think of him. am i doing the right thing? and then i just cant seem to sit still.

idk what to do :(((