I'm not doing well. And I don't know what to do
Sorry if I'm on the wrong sub, I'll delete if it's now allowed.
My mental state is beyond gone. I feel numb, and alone. My head feels clouded constantly. I am lucky if I get 4 hours of sleep, and I am struggling to stomach food.
The only thing I feel physically and mentally is pain. It's to a point where I am begging to be hurt in some way, because I'd rather feel something, then nothing.
I know it's best to get it off my chest, but my family raised me to not talk about what's going on in my head, so I struggle to open up ever.
I can't open up to family, I'll just be ridiculed. I don't trust anyone else, other than my girlfriend.
When I tried to open up with her in the past, it caused a panic attack in her, and I had to help with that instead.
I like to be alone, but I've never felt this empty and hollow before, and I just don't know what to do.
I hope getting it out off my chest will help.