r/BipolarSOs

I’ve been seeing many here bring up cheating as a thing that many bipolar partners do. But what hit close to home was a more narrow case of validation-seeking from others, irl and online.

I’m still trying to separate what stems from the character and what’s caused by the disorder in my SO. And their need of external validation has been an issue for me for a while now. I used to think it’s a self-esteem problem, but could it be the disorder instead? What’s your experience?

First piece of background: my wife is not formally diagnosed. She has had several manic depressive episodes, two of which involved self-harm attempts and one involved the police. Her psychiatrist considered BP2 and ultimately decided on “mood disorder” and put her on an extremely high dose of Lamictil. (The psychiatrist left private practice immediately after that and my wife is now working with a nurse practitioner for medication management, until we trying to find a new doctor.)

My wife recently began HRT with testosterone to address menopause symptoms (which may have also been Lamictil symptoms.) The hormones restarted her period and led to a really bad episode, with her screaming at me and the whole family and accusing me of having an emotional affair with a colleague. The kids are teenagers and my son is going to college in September (thank god for him) but my daughter is 16 and is crying and terribly upset with her mom. She is also depressive and anxious and my wife won’t leave the kids out of the fight, which is hurting her very badly.

My wife has a longtime friend who we’ve known since college. She’s never liked me, and I’ve always felt she was jealous of my wife. But in recent years I thought we’d come to an accommodation: I’m even godfather to her kids.

Yesterday her friend wrote me, accusing me of terribly mistreating my wife and saying she wanted to pick her up and take her out of the house (if she wasn’t recovering from surgery.) I told her she could do that if she wanted, she could try to take care of my wife through her episode because I’m so exhausted. She then told me I wasn’t a doctor and couldn’t know my wife’s diagnosis, that she wasn’t ill and I was just mistreating her (from the filtered view she receives.) I opened up and I told her about a lot of the worst stuff -- the self-harm, the hypersexuality, the rage. I told my daughter and she took my phone from me and sent this friend a voice memo explaining what it was like from her perspective.

Later as I was preparing to sleep on the couch, my wife shifted from screaming anger to “come to bed let’s make up” best friend mode. She then laughingly shared with me her friend’s texts. This friend had passed along everything I said (fair! that’s ok!) but then put the worst possible, most vicious interpretation onto it. Notably, I was “coaching my daughter to tell her lies” and she knew this because of the “long pauses” in the speech. (My daughter had been struggling not to cry.)

I don’t love this friend but I thought she cared for my wife. I thought she was a bulldog trying to protect her, maybe misunderstanding the situation, but not trying to destroy us. I now don’t think that. I think she’s actively trying to destroy our marriage and maybe hurt her friend. Or alternatively, she has such bad judgement that there’s no difference.

To conclude this long story, I told the friend everything I saw. I told her she could be friends with my wife all she wanted, but I thought what she did was irresponsible and cruel, and she’s no longer welcome in my home. I also gave her my daughter’s cell number and told her she had permission to call and speak with her directly, if she was genuinely confused about the facts in our family. (I don’t know if this is helpful or a bad idea, but I’m not manipulating my daughter and I still hold out a small amount of hope that my wife’s friend might just be confused.)

TLDR: wife’s friend entered a manic episode and made things much worse. Don’t know if this was done to hurt us or due to bad judgement, but the results are indistinguishable.

i'm new to this community and really appreciate the posts i have read. My GF and I have been friends for like 20 years and about 7 months ago she moved in with me and we started dating. She is super special to me and i've wanted to be in a relationship with her for many years and there have been a lot of good parts of the past months but a lot of difficulties too.

She has gotten fixated and upset at me for "wanting her to be different" based on a few things I said. Mainly that i wished she would spend time with my family, that she would try to work on getting a job, and that she would stop cutting herself. I tried to explain that I love her and that wanting her behaviors to change is not the same thing as wanting her to be a fundamentally different person, but she insists it is the same....thoughts on this?

I'm just really bummed out because I want to be a partner not just a caretaker and it feels like it has been way more of the latter. She has almost no one else in her life and has said many times that if we don't work out that she will kill herself. She consistently pushes my boundaries and I often give in.

I really want to help her find stability and build a life she can be happy with but it is starting to seem like that may never happen. I try my best to be understanding but it's really hard sometimes. Like i get that she hates herself and wants to self-harm, but does being bipolar really make it impossible for her not to? I feel like she should still be able to not do that, but maybe i am wrong.

As far as the job stuff goes, I understand it could be tough but even if it doesn't work out just her trying would be enough for me but she doesn't seem to want to even try. She gets a little money from disability but it is not much and I am living paycheck to paycheck supporting both of us and it pisses me off that she uses the little money she gets on drugs and frivolous amazon purchases instead of helping with rent or other expenses.

I don't want to end things with her because, like i said, she has almost no one (she says that everyone abandons her eventually) and nowhere else to go. That said, I don't think I can do this for years and years if she is not willing to make some changes but when I try to encourage her or communicate my wants and needs she gets so defensive about me not loving her for who she is and then goes right to "I should just kill myself".

I tell her that I love her and that I wouldn't be doing all i do for her if i didn't but she takes things so extremely, like for example i told her calmly once that one of her vocal exercises (high pitched screeching) is a little annoying and she took that to mean that her singing in general annoys me, which it doesn't. and now she wont sing which sucks cuz i legit love it when she does.

anyways, sorry for ranting, i dont get to talk about this much to people who might understand.

so yeah, i love her and want to help her. even tho i am starting to feel it might not be possible

would love some advice on how to navigate this.

thanks.

I just got my divorce decree in the mail last week. I didn't want this outcome and it still breaks my heart most days. But I can see a little bit more clearly each day how I never would have been able to live and to love him. I've been writing a lot as part of processing things. We used to walk together all the time, and when he was hypomanic he would ALWAYS stop at the creek by our house. For minutes, sometimes. By the end I hated how I resented him for stopping. I didn't understand why, but I do understand a bit more now.

https://preview.redd.it/l5x4gyipluwg1.jpg?width=404&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=30883fe4b6f3c73c75ca02647f0cea42c6c36ae9

I really wish they knew the real world afflictions and consequences... that's all. I just wish they knew.

I just had an argument over phone with my SO and it really took the piss out of me. She has bipolar and panic attacks. Normally she is the sweetest person ever, but when panic disorder kicks in, she turns all that manic behavior on me and just tells me im wrong for this that or the other. (btw this happens in person as well) She's diagnosed BP and Panic disorder but is off meds for a year now. .
She makes me feel like I cant do anything right, etc etc and I ended up hanging up on her. I can only take so much bashing and after 10 minutes of being told im a horrible person, i either say something like dont talk to me like that, or i dont deserve this or I hang up.

She apologizes 15-20 min later, blames a panic attack and acts like it never happened.
I know im not supposed to take it personal but my skin is only so thick, and sometimes i forget and get defensive.
Its exhausting... like mentally exhausting and i feel like there is no way to make her understand how she treats me in the middle of a panic attack and how it makes me feel. I don't know how to talk to her about it, i've tried but it does nothing.
Its not right, i dont deserve this, im a good happy person. its just awful

has anyone ever filmed their SO having an attack and then play it back for them later to show them how they attack the ones they love?

TW: mentioning suicide

Hey everyone...

I think I became the victim of being someones affaire during a manic episode. He fell in love with me fast and intense in August. Nothing like i ever experienced in my life. He is also married and has a kid. I tried to slow it down. Wouldn't let him do things too fast. But he stood his ground. Wrote me songs and sang them. Texted me all day and night. And I fell for him so hard. He promised me a future and a baby. He was going to leave his wife and be with me.

He always had mental issues and was upfront about that. But he doesnt have a BP diagnosis. He ended up trying to commit suicide in during winter. He still didnt end things with me. Promised me and ensured me it wasnt because of me. Being with him was really hard. Everything i said got analyzed and used against me if I didnt say something right or whatever i said wasnt to his liking. I always had to take accountability, repair and earn back his trust (he was very big on trust). In February i took concrete steps to being with him and he broke things off with me by being hurt over something i discussed with someone else instead of him. I am well aware this is exactly 6 months. He couldn't take it anymore. I didnt speak to him for 2 months until his profilepic changed to an AI pic of his so happy family. I kinda freaked and said i would have like a warning if he was happy with his wife again. He said the pic didnt say anything about his headspace or situation and he would like to have a conversation at some point but he is not ready and he will block my number to not get mentally triggered anymore.

There is so much more that happened in 6 months but my question mostly is how do i get over this? I am used and abused and hurt by this. I feel so dumb and useless. I am 32 i should have known better. I did. And i still fell into it. I am so pathetic.

50m here with ADHD and a splash of ASD. I have a 45f bipolar 2 diagnosed, spouse who has just told me she wants a divorce.

I see a lot of posts about people whose bipolar partner discarded them, and seemed to go off on a wild manic ride with other sexual partners and adventures.

But my BPSO doesn’t have anything. She doesn’t have a social life, money, and in today’s world is probably going to struggle to get a job. The house is in my parents name for my shitty credit reasons, and my money is in a protected trust. She has a tight family network and support there, but her pride would barely allow her to seek help or assistance from them.

She seems to think if she divorces me, her life will continue to thrive at ‘our’ house, and the only difference will be that I’m not there.

The reality is, after talking to a lawyer, that divorcing her doesn’t require anything from me. I don’t have to give her anything.

The verbal, mental and even physical abuse I’ve suffered over 13 years has put me in the mindset to oblige her divorce request this time. But do I just cut her off? Does anyone have experience with this?

I’m struggling with the idea of cutting her off. She doesn’t seem to understand that is an option. She claims she wants a ridiculous amount of money which I don’t have, and seems to think that even if she gets nothing she will be fine. But she won’t. I’m struggling with how that would affect my kids and I just can’t imagine putting another human, even my apparent worst enemy into that situation.

Has anyone been through this?

Hi Reddit,

My partner and I have been dating for about a year and a half, with about a year of that being “official”. She has Bipolar Type II and ADHD, among other things. She’s been medicated and compliant with her medication well before we started to talk. I can’t say I’ve ever seen her completely unmedicated… everything has been managed well.

But within the last month or two, her work has become a very significant point of stress for her, and she’s become noticeably less stable over this time period. She’s aware of this and has begun taking steps to talk with her doctor about her medication regime and adjusting it. So I have a lot of trust in her that she’s doing what she needs to do for her mental health. But this has also really been the first time I’ve seen the full scale of her illness be in plain sight.

But it’s been really hard for me. I’m also not neurotypical—I’m pretty sure I have autism, and very much so on the hyper-empathic end of the spectrum. It really hurts me to hear about how much trouble she’s having and seeing her in the lows, and feeling so powerless to help her. Some of the little things I do that would be a mild annoyance to her are now things she’ll comment on with some remarks that really wound me. I do my best to catch myself with these things, but it slips and it’s my fault. And she’s definitely harder to keep up with when her mood swings back the other way.

Her ex-spouse had **significant** mental health issues and one thing she’s expressed to me is that she felt she had to be the “stable one” during that relationship despite her own struggles. I’m glad that in our relationship, she has a sense of stability and comfort that she can have these struggles, but that’s also translated into a level of stress I wasn’t expecting for me.

It’s been trying, and I am scared I’m not doing everything I can for her. But I just don’t know what to do besides being a shoulder for her to lean on and an ear to talk to. And I also have this strange sense of guilt where I want her to be back to being stable. Like, I know this could have been part of the deal, but it feels almost greedy and selfish of me to want things to be back to “normal”. I’m not sure, I’m dealing with a lot of feelings I never have before.

Thanks for reading. I just really wanted to type this out and vent a little. I love her to pieces and I’m here to support her however I can, but it’s been trying for me these last few weeks.

Just wondering how many pills/medications per day your SO is prescribed to take? My SO Bipolar 1 with psychotic features diagnosed Jan 2025 takes 12 pills per day (9 different medications). I always wonder if that’s alot..

I’m curious if this resonates with anyone else here.

In my experience as a bipolar significant other, the shifts don’t usually start as something obvious. It’s small things—sleep changes, spending patterns, different tone in speech, subtle changes in energy or decision-making. Nothing you can point to definitively, but enough to feel like something is building.

For me, it was rarely a sudden change. It showed up as a pattern of small subtle signals that, started to feel familiar.

The hard part wasn’t noticing it. The hard part was knowing what to do with that early sense. Trying to explain it in a way that others—especially care providers—could understand and act on before things escalated was always a challenge.

Curious how others experience this:

Do you notice changes early, or does it tend to feel more sudden?

What are the first things you usually pick up on?

Have you found a way to communicate those early observations that actually helps change the course?

Would really value hearing how this shows up for others.

I’m really struggling and hoping to hear from people who understand what it’s like being close to someone with bipolar type 2.

I met an M in person and the connection was intense from the start. After that, we stayed long-distance for almost a year, talking every single day. We became really reliant on each other’s validation. He told me over and over how special I am to him, how much I mean to him, and how much I’ve impacted his life. He would even say he could see himself marrying me. At the same time, he also said he isn’t ready for a relationship, which confused me but I tried to accept. He also showered me with gifts, which made everything feel even more real.

He came to visit me, and everything felt real and aligned, like what we had built was actually something. He even left me with love letters.

Then he left… and it felt like a switch flipped overnight.

His messages became slower, colder, and now I barely hear from him. When he does reply, it’s “I’m busy” or “I’ll call later,” but the calls never happen.

I’ve started reciprocating his energy and pulling back too, but now I’m scared that might be pushing him even further away. I don’t know if I should be softer or kinder, but I feel like I already have been. I’ve only been loving toward him.

Now I just feel like I’ve faded out of his life completely. Like I went from being someone important to nothing. A burden. A ghost. I feel really hurt and honestly abandoned.

I’m not trying to label anything, I just don’t understand how something so intense can disappear like this.

Has anyone experienced this with someone with bipolar? Do they come back after pulling away like this, or is this just how it ends?

I feel lost and don’t know what to do.

Been with my partner a month. We knew this was coming (bp2) he had a depressive dip and also meds got fucked so he is manic right now. We just got off the phone, and we discussed it. I know hes safe, but he does have a past of drug use and not taking care of himself and going kinda "off the rails." I dont feel like I need to fear hed be doing this, but idk. Witnessing him rambling and talking 100mph and everything was pretty jarring and ive had a long few weeks (dealing with chronic infections on top of chronic illness and other stuff) so im just kinda exhausted. I dont feel like asking him for validation or support in this is a fair ask bc of the state hes in- I just kinda asked for verbal agreement he can keep himself safe and if he cant that hed contact me. We stopped the phone call and said goodnight etc. I really just want to call back and stay on the phone until he falls asleep. But i just feel so unsettled and worried right now. Idrk what to be doing for myself as ive never experienced someone like this before. Any advice id be grateful for. Thank you

I (26F) got out a 4 month relationship with someone (31M) with bipolar II a few weeks ago. It was my first boyfriend, and at the beginning, I thought I’d marry him (I know that’s crazy, for the record, we’re Mormon and it’s kind of normal culturally. He wanted to know what kind of ring I would like and start looking around but I wouldn’t send him pictures or anything because I am at least a bit more reasonable than some of my peers 😂).

When we first started dating he was so much more sensitive, aware, gentle, and kind than most of the men I knew. It honestly made me nervous because I felt like he was too in-tune with me and that it had the potential to become co-dependent. Like we could reach each other too well. At the beginning, I felt like we could talk about anything without any shame. I could tell him anything and I wanted to hear everything about him.

At this time he was taking OTC lithium and managing with supplements and dieting (lots of keto, etc) and appeared to me to be doing really well. Maybe 6 weeks in he decided to try prescription Lithium. He told me after he had decided and gotten the script but said it was because he thought he needed some more help if he was going to have a successful relationship with me. Shortly after he ended up adding Caplyta which he loved. I felt like when he was first on it, he could no longer see me at all. I think he was hypomanic. Basically he’d call me for however long he could and just talk and talk and I couldn’t get a word in edge wise. It was the first time I saw him do that. He would never ask about me and would go on and on about how incredible the medication was and how he felt so good. Eventually I tried to delicately tell him I was happy for him and if this is what he wants, I’ll be so glad he’s happy but that it just wasn’t working for me (this was about a week in, which was maybe too soon, but it was the longest week ever of just listening to him and feeling like I was nothing). He ended up halving the dose and he was a lot better but not quite the same as the guy I first met.

The first time I felt like he was really having a manic episode, I was flying out of state to visit friends. He called me and was telling me about some spiritual promptings he’d had that day. I was dubious but I didn’t feel it was my place to have an opinion until he told me that the second one (which involved walking into a meeting he had no business being in with people much higher than him) could not go wrong for him. He seemed frustrated that I wouldn’t tell him he should’ve followed it. And I told him God doesn’t really communicate with me in such “grandiose” ways trying to kind of flag it for him. The next day we talked and he told me about another spiritual experience he’d had the year before that was even more intense and out there. I have no opinion on the validity of that, it’s between him and God but it did make me nervous when he said it concerned his parents and when he told his therapist they were concerned, she allegedly told him not to worry about people who don’t understand his beautiful mind.

Anyway, that night he said he wanted to talk but ended up falling asleep, and the same thing the following day. On Monday I was flying back home and he called me while I was waiting for the plane to board. This was one of those times where he was just talking like a runaway train and I felt like there was nothing I could do. He was going on and on about Jeffrey Epstein and the Clintons and Satan worship. In the time he called me they started boarding, got to my zone, I boarded with the last zone, put my bags up, and sat in my seat. And I remember distinctly there being two announcements on the intercom because he acted frustrated at being interrupted. By the time he stopped I didn’t know what to do. He had brought up so much, even if I could respond I didn’t know where I’d start. But by now I was two inches from a stranger with kids in the next row so I couldn’t exactly hold a conversation about PDFs in the setting. After a really long silence I told him we were going to push back and I needed to go.

The next day, he picked me up after school and I thought we had a really healthy and good conversation about the weekend where we established appropriate boundaries around how we would manage him being manic and spiritual promptings.

But then, two days later on Thursday we agreed to talk on the phone during his lunch. He ended up going to lunch about 45 mins late so I explained that I only had about 10 mins to talk while I walked from my car to a meeting. We were just mostly checking in but he mentioned multiple times that he had two big things to talk to me about. I told him repeatedly that it wasn’t a good time and that I was happy to meet up with him that night to go over them. As I’m finally ending the call (I’ve been pacing outside the office for the meeting for an extra 10 mins) he says, “well, they’re kind of bombs”. So, I tell him at this point that he better just say them. The first one was that he hadn’t felt like himself for 3 months, but then he also said for 3 weeks. 3 months was as long as I’d known him and 3 weeks was as long as he’d been on the caplyta. I told him ok and filed the discrepancy away for later that evening. The second one was that the night of our Epstein conversation he was laying in bed thinking about it and it made him think about a girl he used to date (she lives in Europe, they never met in person, just used to talk on the phone) and how she was so kind every time they called. And then the next day (Tuesday) he was in the sun, which he recognized can make him a little more hyped up, and he was feeling really drawn towards that girl. I asked him what that meant and he said that he felt like he should pursue her, like god was telling him to go down that road. But then, he said that day as he was praying it was me but he needed me to be kinder to him. (This was very directly in response to my response in the Epstein conversation. Which I do recognize was stonewalling and I should’ve spoken up sooner and I learned that I did have a pattern of getting overwhelmed and just shutting down and I tried to work on that). I told him I didn’t think it was fair to bring that up in the context of this other girl and that I didn’t want to cry in the hallway so I was going to go. Later in the afternoon I did agree to meet up with him that night at which point I told him we should take a break and he sobbed but agreed to do so for 4 days.

The fourth day, we met up, at a place he chose which was a much further distance for me but gave him more time to help a friend. It turns out it was still 26 mins way from where he was and subsequently he was about 35 mins late to meeting me. I ended up breaking up with him because he’d tweeted something really crass about women that day and it was all just too much. But, it didn’t last and I reached back out to him again 4 days later.

I’m sorry this is horribly long. The last kind of pertinent thing was that after a while of being back together and him constantly remarking that it was sooo much better than before we broke up, I finally asked what he meant (I thought it was pretty much the same, if anything maybe worse) and he told me “you’re so much more pleasant than you used to be”. And then didn’t want to talk about that comment because it was “making [me] spiral”, because I was acting happy with my neighbors at an event and when he showed up unplanned to join and then ended up going to a neighboring event and disappearing for an hour and then we went to talk about his comments and I wasn’t as happy as I was when I was with my neighbors. Later he brought this subject up again and told me that I was mean before and just hadn’t been since the kindness conversation (I was making a very concerted effort to never be cold to him after that, no matter how he made me feel).

And by the end of it, I just felt like I was just a warm body. He’d talk and talk and never care about me. One day he texted me, “Having a great day” meaning he was having a great day, no other messages from him.

When we finally broke up again, I cried for two weeks and was just so exhausted and then I realized I hadn’t felt like myself in months.

The problem is, I see the person I first met and I see who he is occasionally and his great family and I want to chock it all up to bipolar but that’s probably not fair. Have you seen behavior like this? My therapist basically assigns it all to bipolar (he has a close family member with the diagnosis so I tend to particularly trust him). Or is he just a jerk? How do you have patience with someone who never seems to see you? I’m not trying to get back together with him, I just don’t know how to wrap my brain around the whole experience. It’s so out of what I’m familiar with and the dynamics I’m used to.

At the end of the day, I feel like he’s really suffering and lives in so much fear and I just want so much more for him but I’m not sure what I could’ve done more.

And if you read this whole thing I really owe you one.

My Bipolar SO does this thing when he's manic where he buys MASSIVE amounts of sugar and eats it all in a huge binge fest. He then becomes like a toddler and seriously runs around like an idiot and it's the most vile annoying thing I have ever had to deal with.

I am 45 years old and raised a very hyperactive child with ADHD. This child was not his but this is the same behavior coming from a grown man.

Any other time, he is a fully functional normal adult. He is extremely health conscious to the point where he won't put anything unhealthy in his body. It's all organic.

I am going through a serious crisis at work and with my (now adult) daughter and I can't even talk to him because he is incoherent on the phone. It's almost like he snorted lines of cocaine (he didn't). He just left me a long voicemail ranting about absolutely nothing. Total incoherent speech pattern.

He has been diagnosed. Unmedicated. I'm fed up with this because after he comes down from manic episodes, he complains about weight gain and tells me it's my fault. He buys all the trash food himself and I have nothing to do with it.

Thanks for letting me vent.

I'm not sure if I've been discarded or I did the discarding but it's finally over now. I've been so accommodating over the years, but the end came because I said I wasn't going to be okay with him continuing to have contact with a female friend after the relationship became inappropriate. What followed was months of back and forth and countless lies, substances, and excess alcohol binges.

In the end I feel like the whole relationship was a lie. I don't know which way is up or if anything was ever true. It's a real mind fuck. I'm so angry and I feel intense hate towards him and I'm ashamed to say it's because I still love him.

i’ve tried for many years to be as supportive and understanding as possible. but what’s always hurt me the most is the things said in either mania, depression, or just a heightened emotional state. i’ve tried for so long to believe him when he reassures me after the fact that ‘i know that’s not his intentions‘ or that he ‘doesn’t actually feel that way‘ about me on normal days. and while i’ve felt betrayed and broken many times before by what he’s said i can’t help but to feel that this time has truly severed the relationship beyond repair. it wasn’t even necessarily the worst thing that he’s said to me about me either. i think it was really the totality of what it meant though.

he asked me if i could do something for him while he was out of town. i told him that i couldn’t. he then made a face. and i said ‘youve told me before if i can’t do something or don’t think ill be able to then to just say that so you don’t rely on me for something i cant do’. he then replied ‘well it’s not like you have a lot going on in your life so…’ and i said ‘oh… so i just SHOULD then?’ and he said ‘yes YOU SHOULD. you only ever help me when it’s convenient for you’. and this is what has done the damage for me. because i know thats not true. but if he really thinks that’s true then…. what am i even still doing in this relationship? that statement basically invalidated the entire past four years where ive bent over backwards and massively inconvenienced myself to be there for him.

i’m not a person who believes in keeping track of things/help/favors/gifts/time/effort/etc. that ive given to another person. mostly because i believe i should [and do] do those things with zero expectations of reciprocation. or at the very least that it’s never a tit for tat sort of thing. i’m doing them of my own free will and because i want to, and if i cant then i wont because then i wouldn’t be doing them for the right reasons.

so with that in mind i’m not going to to write out a list of all the various ways in which i’ve been there for him. but if that’s how he feels about me, then i just can’t continue on. it’s so invalidating. and i just can’t believe the lie he tells me later when he says he doesn’t feel that way and i know it’s just because of his mental health etc. what’s ironic is that the only reason he thinks i ‘don’t have a lot going on’ is because he doesn’t ask me. we’re always talking about his feelings, his mental health, his struggles. he all but refuses to accept or even acknowledge that i have any of those issues myself. idk. i’m exhausted. but im making this post because i also want to hold myself to being done. i’ve taken him back everytime before but i just… i cant keep believing the lies that he doesn’t feel the nasty feelings he spits at me when he’s angry, stressed, manic, etc. it’s too painful.

I started dating someone who is bipolar. I didn’t know that when I met him but I clearly met him in a manic state and that all makes sense now. I enjoyed spending time with him and felt special, he texted regularly… now I guess he’s in a depressed state and I’m lucky if I hear from him…but he plays video games all day and chats with people in his live streams and I have to wait hours before I get a response to a text… i tried to explain this and he didn’t seem to understand…

I guess I feel like I’m giving up and missing out on someone great but idk how long I can go with just hearing from someone a handful of times… and how long will this even last i don’t know.