Need some help from someone with experience
I just had an argument over phone with my SO and it really took the piss out of me. She has bipolar and panic attacks. Normally she is the sweetest person ever, but when panic disorder kicks in, she turns all that manic behavior on me and just tells me im wrong for this that or the other. (btw this happens in person as well) She's diagnosed BP and Panic disorder but is off meds for a year now. .
She makes me feel like I cant do anything right, etc etc and I ended up hanging up on her. I can only take so much bashing and after 10 minutes of being told im a horrible person, i either say something like dont talk to me like that, or i dont deserve this or I hang up.
She apologizes 15-20 min later, blames a panic attack and acts like it never happened.
I know im not supposed to take it personal but my skin is only so thick, and sometimes i forget and get defensive.
Its exhausting... like mentally exhausting and i feel like there is no way to make her understand how she treats me in the middle of a panic attack and how it makes me feel. I don't know how to talk to her about it, i've tried but it does nothing.
Its not right, i dont deserve this, im a good happy person. its just awful
has anyone ever filmed their SO having an attack and then play it back for them later to show them how they attack the ones they love?