Victim of a manic episode
TW: mentioning suicide
Hey everyone...
I think I became the victim of being someones affaire during a manic episode. He fell in love with me fast and intense in August. Nothing like i ever experienced in my life. He is also married and has a kid. I tried to slow it down. Wouldn't let him do things too fast. But he stood his ground. Wrote me songs and sang them. Texted me all day and night. And I fell for him so hard. He promised me a future and a baby. He was going to leave his wife and be with me.
He always had mental issues and was upfront about that. But he doesnt have a BP diagnosis. He ended up trying to commit suicide in during winter. He still didnt end things with me. Promised me and ensured me it wasnt because of me. Being with him was really hard. Everything i said got analyzed and used against me if I didnt say something right or whatever i said wasnt to his liking. I always had to take accountability, repair and earn back his trust (he was very big on trust). In February i took concrete steps to being with him and he broke things off with me by being hurt over something i discussed with someone else instead of him. I am well aware this is exactly 6 months. He couldn't take it anymore. I didnt speak to him for 2 months until his profilepic changed to an AI pic of his so happy family. I kinda freaked and said i would have like a warning if he was happy with his wife again. He said the pic didnt say anything about his headspace or situation and he would like to have a conversation at some point but he is not ready and he will block my number to not get mentally triggered anymore.
There is so much more that happened in 6 months but my question mostly is how do i get over this? I am used and abused and hurt by this. I feel so dumb and useless. I am 32 i should have known better. I did. And i still fell into it. I am so pathetic.