u/madallia01

I really wish they knew the real world afflictions and consequences... that's all. I just wish they knew.

I would start with Dear Nerd, as usual. But there's three of you. Actually, 7. You are not listed in matter of importance, but I hope this helps to soothe your lives and opens up the roads for a better future for you each. I know yhis might be hard at first, but just as I was told to "let go" and "move on", i hope you find it just as easy as it sounds. Because i can't.

I got to experience a full life. I raised my children to be strong and survive. They have the most compassionate hearts, but must also have strong hearts. It pains me to leave the world a lot earlier than I would have. But I will go before them. To my boys, I love you. More than anything, I love all four of you. You will be okay. You hear me? You're going to be okay. I've lived a good life, despite what traumas affected me, but I can't allow them to affect you. We had a lot of memories. Hold onto those. Don't you ever let anyone tell you that you can't fly. Metaphorical that is. But i know you can fly however you want to. This world is brutal. Hold onto something, hold onto each other. I love you guys and I will always be here right here in your hearts and in the energy around you. I can't always intervene, but call out and you will find your way. Don't be alone. Find your people. And if you cant, find your family in each other.

John. You were most of my life. We were a great team raising these guys. They love you. I love you. And I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for them, and for me. You were never the bad guy. You can have your spousal support and 401k back, so that you'll not worry about finances anymore. You can go forward with a new life and your girlfriend. You're gonna be okay. I am very sorry for re-traumatizing you by leaving like the others did. I can't forgive myself. So I hope that this helps. I shared my best days with you. We had so many vacations, so many good times. You were good to me. A perfect husband. I am so sorry I hurt you. I can't live with that pain and guilt.

Jeff. I fell in love. Thank you for that. For the reciprocation. For the fantasies come to life. We were quite the whirlwind weren't we? Ribbons in space? Gamer buddies. We are here in this timeline. So we know it is possible. I belong to the cosmos. I can't do this world any more. I tried as long and hard as i could. Please continue your studies, live for you. I am really sorry for the frustration and pressures I caused. I'm too mental I think. I can't be with you knowing that it would forever torture these other guys. I love you, I mean it. I don't hold any resentment towards you for ghosting or taking space. You're so strong, handsome, dashing. All of you are. I feel blessed to have been saved by you guys. You prove the world isn't full of jerks. Jeff you have my heart. Hold onto it. You know where to put my ashes. God it would have been paradise wouldn't it? Even as just friends, but we both always knew better. I think i believe in quantum entanglements after all. LYMI

Justin. That was intense huh? I feel like I barely got to know you the right way. We collided hard. You taught me so many things in such a short time. The truth is I really was afraid of being used and left, or just another woman in your collection. I wanted to be your peace. Your anomaly. I wanted to help so much that I ended up destroying everything. You deserve to live a full life. I hope you find her. The one. I meant it, hold onto her even in tough times. Even when you feel like there's no point, no fix... everything is figuroutable. Those letters, I meant every word. I saw a future, but it was one where you were not yourself. I don't ever want to rob you of your identity. I just wanted to help you. You gave me so many good memories. And you were always kind. I was the one who felt I was not enough for you. With me being gone, you don't have to be scared of me. I never meant for that. I wanted the same things you did. I was just too messed up. I'm so sorry, for all of it. For everything. I guess "i shouldn't have done that". Heh

Melissa. You will find your person. When you see him you'll know. I know you've loved and lost before. And I don't want to do this to you. Please forgive me. You're strong. Stick to your friends. You are going to get there, and you're gonna thrive. I love you momma. And honestly, John really is a good man. I hope you meet. You'd like him, despite the vents I've made. Take care of each other regardless. And be a mom to my boys.

I love all of you. You kept me alive, in more ways than you can imagine. This might not be as cryptid and genius as Austin's letter. I think all of us know this has to be goodbye. To save you..all of you... I'll go.

I won't tell you not to cry. But I've cried too much. I woke from a ketamine session saying that. No more tears. No more trauma. No more heart break. I was strong as long as I could be. I was so strong. So are you.

I know first hand what it feels like to have someone ripped out of your life in an instant, never getting to speak to them again. It hurts like hell. But I know that you can move on. I'm sorry that I can't.

I find men are more often than none asking for my number within a day or two of matching.

I've come to find that either adding them on an app like Discord, or asking them for THEIR number and running it through truthfinder or Tea before giving them yours saves you so much pain and red flag.