AIO? My fiancé and I broke up
Honestly, I need the validation because I feel insane.
My (24F) fiancé (24M) and I broke up about 6 weeks ago.
The relationship was struggling for a while but I was consistently communicating and making an effort. The blue collar job he works caused burnout for him. On a Saturday night, he impulsively decided not to come home to get his head straight and took off to a friends house 2 hours away. They went out to a bar. He reassured me we were not breaking up that night.
Sunday, he came home around 5 p.m. and ended things. I immediately moved home to my parents and spent the next 2 weeks groveling for the relationship back. He wanted to be “friends” that still had sex but nothing more.
I decided to say no and started leaving him alone. About a month after the breakup, he was still consistently contacting me for sex and asking if I was moving on or if I would stick around for when he gets his head straightened out. I offered to do be patient for the first 2 weeks but after he asked me to cross my boundary so many times, I realized he’s not doing any self work. I told him the doors shut but not locked because of that.
This week, I got exhausted by being contacted for sex so I told him I understand if he goes and sleeps with someone else. On Wednesday, I told him I’m coming to move some things and gave him a timeframe. When I showed up on Saturday, he forgot I was coming and had a girl in the bedroom the entire time I was moving.
I was very mad. I don’t care that he had sex. I care that he forgot and put me in that position. I told him the relationship was done for good and blocked him on everything after moving. Then I got drunk last night, unblocked him, and started going off. Now I can’t tell if I’m over reacting about everything or not.
He told me he wanted to still keep me in his life but he doesn’t want to be in a relationship at this time. I was the one that ended things by not having sex. He said due to my inability to form a “friendship” with him during this period, we were clearly not meant for each other. He also said he wanted this time because we didn’t start as friends and rushed into a relationship. I wanted to get to know him for a few months but felt pressured by him to commit.
Spelling it out like this, it seems obvious, but I can’t help but wonder if the relationship would have been salvageable had I not been so hurt and agreed to his needs. AIO?