r/therapy

I'm 18, standing at one of the most important points of my life, preparing for a major exam with Physics, Mathematics, and Chemistry as my core subjects.

Chemistry feels like my strength, Math is something I'm comfortable with, and even Physics, though not my strongest feels within reach if I truly commit to it. I know I'm capable. I'm not lacking knowledge or ability; I genuinely believe I can achieve good results if I put in the effort.

But lately, something feels off. As the exams get closer, instead of becoming more focused, I find myself growing more anxious. My mind feels heavy, and I struggle to concentrate on my studies. It's strange because, before the pressure built up, I could sit for hours, fully absorbed and productive. Now, when it matters the most, I can't seem to bring myself into that same state of focus.

This isn't new to me either.l went through something similar during my 10th grade exams. Back then too, l struggled mentally to stay focused when the pressure peaked. And now, it feels like I'm stuck in that same cycle again, knowing what I'm capable of, yet unable to fully act on it when it matters the most.

I truly want to do well in my exams. It matters a lot to me. But at the same time, I feel like I don't really have anyone I can open up to and share what I'm going through, and that makes everything feel even heavier. I know this isn't a healthy place to be in, and I genuinely want to get out of it, but I don't really know how.

That's why I find myself wanting guidance from people who have been through something like this before people who understand what it feels like and know how to deal with it. Right now, I just feel stuck, wanting to move forward but unsure of the way.

There’s a specific topic that when brought up in the past, my therapist has been kind of curt about. I’ve brushed it off when it’s happened before bc I’m known to overthink & see things that aren’t really there, but today it happened again & I just fully shut down & sobbed for the last ten minutes of our session.

I really like my therapist & she’s helped me a lot. But I struggle greatly with communication & people pleasing tendencies which is something we are working on. To feel rejected like this just makes me feel really sad & disappointed that it wasn’t handled more “gently” I guess, considering the things that I’m struggling with right now. I honestly don’t know why she doesn’t want to talk about this subject with me, it doesn’t make any sense at all to me. The times she’s shut the topic down in the past she’s said something along the lines of “why are we still talking about this”. The first time she said it I was taken aback & confused but I just kind answered the question point blank as best I could. She sometimes will ask “why” in a way to help me get to the answer myself, so I thought maybe that’s where she was going with this, but it wasn’t in this case. I don’t remember how I answered, but whatever I said made me realize she wasn’t doing the “why” thing bc she responded about how I should focus on controlling what I can control, & what am I getting out of still talking about this? I kind of moved on bc I didn’t really know what to say. I’m deeply sad about this topic & I want/need to talk about it, even though nothing has changed. I’m no where near over this situation & it comes up frequently in my head & sends me into complete fits of sobbing on a still somewhat regular basis.

I guess it has been a few weeks since this topic came up, so I must’ve forgot & brought it up again today & got hit with the “why are we still talking about this” again & I just like broke down. I didn’t want to be there anymore, I didn’t want to talk to her anymore, I didn’t want to think about hard things or even do the therapy anymore, I just wanted to lay down & sleep & or have a cocktail or watch tv or just be really anywhere else mentally. This was surprising to me bc generally I enjoy & look forward to therapy, even though I’m working through some pretty traumatic shit & it’s not fun for me. But I look forward to working on myself, learning about myself, & just working through things in general each week to get to a better place mentally. Now, all I want to do is cancel our next session. I’ve been in therapy for the better part of 10 years & this is the first therapist that has felt like an actual true fit & not just like “I will take any appointment available from any therapist bc I am struggling that bad”. It’s also the first time I can recall feeling like this after a session, though. I’ve literally been crying about it all evening.

I’m really disappointed & upset & I’m just not sure what to do or think rn. Like I said earlier I struggle greatly with communication, especially uncomfortable/confrontational “you did this & I don’t like that” communication, so I just feel like I’m trying very hard to overcome something deeply uncomfortable (& trauma taught) for me, towards the exact person who is supposed to be helping me through this issue. I am autistic & have some pretty extreme rejection sensitivity so I’m really really struggling to understand if I am reacting properly right now or being really overly sensitive & blowing things out of proportion.

To provide some context, it’s not like I’m bringing up my previous r-word or my si/sh that’s getting shut down, so it’s not like it’s the most traumatizing thing I’ve ever been through that’s she’s not wanting to talk about. But it’s something that deeply deeply upsets me to this day & although I don’t have control in the situation, I’m still wounded by it so I don’t think it’s fair to just kill the subject. Like I cry about this on a regular basis & think about it every day. I journal about it constantly, I’m talking 3-4 times a day about just this one topic. So I can’t control it & that remains true, but I’m obviously not coping with it well either & I don’t understand why that shouldn’t be important.

(Short version of “the situation”, I cut my sister off a few months ago bc of her behavior & treatment towards me over the last few years. I’m still really hurt by the situation as a whole, in addition to the deterioration our relationship has seen over the last few years. I’m still unsure if i made the right choice & contemplate on a regular basis writing her a letter to just better explain myself & where I’m coming from, in addition to what parameters would make me comfortable having a relationship with her again bc I don’t like feeling like the ball is idling in my court, I’d rather it idle in hers.)

Hi, I’m a 23F who’s been considering going into counselling and psychotherapy for the past year. I haven’t pursued this idea yet for multiple reasons:

1. What if I’m not cut out for it? - am I too emotional or not emotional enough

2. What if I’m doing it for the wrong reasons? - I struggle with mental health myself so am I subconsciously trying to “save myself”

3. What if I’m only doing it because I want the validation that comes with the job title?

I want to know what made people realise they wanted to do it, if other people had similar doubts to me and in people’s opinion what makes someone cut out to be a therapist? Thanks <3

I've been in therapy pretty steadily over the last 10 years. I was recently terminated by a therapist of 1.5 years, and I'm struggling to find a good fit. I'm autistic btw. The last six months have been quite difficult, like a rough patch punctuated with losing an important relationship and some depression/burnout.

Yeah my prevoius therapist terminated me, and it was kind of a tricky somewhat messy situation. Since then I've been meeting with a lot of new therapists. Sometimes just a consult, but I've seen a number of them for a few sessions, but nothing has felt quite right i guess.

Most recently I had a rupture in my second sessions with someone i was cautiously hpeful about? SHe made a comment that didn't land. I was describing my difficulty with the social dynamic at work (autistic), and she commented that the only thing i could control was myself, and asked me how I want to be at work, and it felt like she was pushing me toward pragmatic masking. We talked through it a bit but i just feel very over it. Idk. It just happened very quickly, and i feel like im particularly sensitive to these things right now.

I just feel very burnt out over continuing to search through new therapists when its already felt like everything else has also been going wrong. I'm debating whether to continue with this one, keep searching, or just take a long break from therapy altogether.

I’m currently in high school and ever since I was in 7th grade I’ve really wanted to have a therapist. When I brought it up to my family I just got told that “mental health isn’t real” and its a waste of money so I figured I couldn’t do anything about it and kept going with life as usual. I don’t think I can do that anymore though, my sister (who I live with) has only been getting increasingly abusive and threatening to kill me, lock me out, and saying she hopes I get raped. She threatens to make me live with my dad, who’s a pedophile and alcoholic, or with my mom, who is also really abusive and turned a blind eye to our other sister getting molested back when she was around my age.

Nobody in my family has sought out mental help other than my sister who experienced that, but she’s genuinely reached a point where it’s hard to tell if she might randomly lash out or get aggressive. Mental health has always been a topic that’s been ignored in our family and never treated as real, if you had issues you had to just tough it out. I know I can’t live like that and have already reached a point of attempting several times, I need somebody to at least talk to but I can’t find help as a minor. I’ve tried looking online but you always have to give your family’s contact information as a “just in case”, but that’d literally just make my situation worse if my family found out about it.

Ive also really wanted to get a psychiatrist or just find a way to get medication I might need, my sister who actually bothered to get one got diagnosed with bpd, mdd, and other things I can’t remember. I want to make sure I’m taking care of myself if I have any mental health issues that require proper treatment, but my options are so limited being that I’m too young.

At the very least I need a therapist, are there any work arounds or anything I can do to find one? Im aware the laws when it come to this type of topic differ from place to place so I might as well add I’m from New York, Ive tried doing some research but everything I find says I need a guardian or something.

So I'm starting therapy soon this year and I'm worried about what I can and can't say. I'm extremely worried a CPS case will start if I spill too much. I went through a really rough childhood, my dad was abusive when I was younger but in recent years has gotten better, and our relationship has improved. we still butt heads and stuff but he's way better then when I was a kid. I would like to go over the abuse and talk about how it made me feel but I'm worried it'll get reported to CPS and The spiral of shit will start again and I don't want another CPS case. I went through alot of different types of trauma as a kid, and I wanna finally heal and get better so I can start being an adult and be healthy. I struggle from alot of self doubt and anxiety and a lot of it is caused by trauma I went through as a kid.

But will it be reported to CPS even tho my dad is a much better person now? This stuff happened about 4-5 years ago but since then he's improved.

I know you can't mention things of harming yourself or others, and stuff about SA/r@pe, But is there anything else I should know? I plan to ask my therapist what is the confidentiality rules when I meet them, But id rather be a little more prepared when I get there.

Kind of upset because I lost my progress when the app refreshed, and I had to retype this entire post, but oh well. I kept the title purposely vague to avoid any reactive comments by people. Anyway, for some context, I’ve been experiencing irritability and low mood for two years now. Before you jump down my throat, I know you can have those things without having a clinical disorder —there’s other symptoms as well I have, I just don’t feel the need to mention here because it’s irrelevant. As a result of this, I’ve been talking to my therapist about possibly a depression diagnosis/depression in general. I also talked to her about starting medication for ADHD as it was affecting my quality of life greatly (yes, I am formally diagnosed with it), which is the reason I was originally referred to the psychiatrist I’ll mention in the next paragraph. Now that I’ve explained that, let me get into my story.

Okay, so a few weeks ago I was talking to my therapist, and the session was about to wrap up. Since I had talked to her earlier about the referral to the psychiatrist to discuss medication for ADHD, we were on that topic. She told me that on top of talking to her about my ADHD, I should also talk to her about my suspicions of depression, and she told me, quote, that if I were to start any medication like antipsychotics, the psychiatrist would probably have to put something down in my medical records.

So, I was caught off guard by this, because as far I knew, antipsychotics were used to treat things like bipolar disorder, which I definitely didn’t believe I had. If I was going to be put on any medication for depression, I had assumed it would be SSRIs or something. I didn’t mention this to her at the time, but after getting back home later, I did some research (mainly Googling tbh) and I found out that antipsychotics were typically used to treat depression with psychotic symptoms. Of course, though, that begged the question of if she thought I showed symptoms of psychosis, and if she does do so, why? I’ve been thinking about this for the past few weeks, but I’m still not sure what about me I could have told her that would give off the impression that I would need antipsychotics. The only thing I’m coming up with is the schizophrenia I suspect my mother has (she hasn’t been diagnosed because she won’t seek help, but her behavior seems to align pretty closely with the symptoms so I’m not sure), but even then, I don’t think I’ve shown signs of inheriting any of those symptoms myself, so I’m still not sure what it is she sees in me that would make her suggest that.

In conclusion, my question is: should I bring this topic up with her in our meetings? Or should I leave it be? If I could get some advice on this matter, I’d be really grateful.

As title suggest, I want to ask the people who consulted a therapist for depression what kind of advice the therapist gives like is it generic or specific to your condition and does it help you or you have to just fix yourself.

Just a disclaimer I am not looking for medical advice here!! More so just support or general advice

I'm 19f and I have suspected MCAS (Have seen an allergist who brought it up as well as a few ER doctors when I was hospitalized for anaphylaxis)

My symptoms were: Flushing, Hives, itching skin, itching mouth and throat after eating, brain fog, wheezing, coughing, trouble breathing, diarrhea, and anaphylaxis.

My symptoms appeared out of nowhere on the 8th of march. I had taken Prednisone for about a week and it got rid of my hives but everything else seemed to get worse and I ended up losing 20 lbs due to not being able to eat.

On the night of the 24th I was hospitalized for dehydration and malnutrition. My mom came to see me in the hospital and told me when it was time to come home I should stay with her for a few days instead of go back to my sister's apartment.

(Just for some background last November I moved in with my older sister after having some Urinary issues + suspected endometriosis and wasn't able to care for myself. A month after moving with my sister I started to decline more and more instead of improving, developing things such as Chronic headaches and brain fog)

Anyways, I stayed with my mom on her couch for 3 days, eating only gluten free chicken nuggets and white rice with salt. One day I felt brave and decided to try dairy free + gluten free ben and Jerry's cherry garcia icecream. I expected my throat to get tight and to feel horrible but.. I was fine. And of course I devoured the whole thing.

After that I saw my allergist on the 27th. She told me it sounds like I have MCAS and that she'd test my thyroid, my tryptase, and do an IGE allergy test. Everything came back normal just yesterday and she wants to see me again soon to discuss what's next.

She also noted that my reactions do not sound food related and that I should be okay. She prescribed me Xyzal to take nightly as well.

I felt very unsure about that because I noticed every time I'd eat I would feel tightness in my throat and my mouth would itch.

My mom who accompanied me during my appointment tried to tell me I should trust the doctor and have something I'd usually eat. She asked me if I wanted to go to Olive garden because I love Pasta. I was very hesitant but she ended up convincing me to go have lunch with her.

We went to lunch and I was very scared because I didn't have an epipen, but my mom reassured me that she'd be right there if something did happen.

I tried to have a bread stick and waited to see if anything happened. I waited about 5 minutes and it was fine so (somewhat stupidly) I went all in I dipped the breadsticks in Alfredo, had soup, and pasta with meat sauce.

And amazingly enough nothing happened!! nothing at all.

I chatted with my mom over lunch and she brought up the possibility of something in my sister's apartment triggering me. I acknowledged that it could be a possibility but I didn't really know what would be triggering me there and still don't.

But to be safe I decided until I get my results I'd go stay with my dad at his house because I was and still am very scared of my symptoms returning. They were so severe I was afraid for my life to be honest.

I'm currently still at my dad's and have been free of symptoms for two weeks, taking the Xyzal nightly. I am also recovering from pneumonia that I caught.

But the thing is I keep having this anxiety sneak up on me that my symptoms will randomly return. It is very difficult to try an enjoy my day without symptoms when all I can worry about is if it'll just all come back again.

I'm now eating foods I thought I wouldn't be able to have again. Pasta, meat, fruits, even icecream and pastries. I'm so scared It'll all get taken away again.

I'm unsure what to do in my situation.

I have a therapy appointment tomorrow and want to address some of this stuff 8f possible so I can try to lessen my anxiety and possibly try to continue with my life without fear. Event though I am very afraid of symptoms returning.

I feel very strange and odd suddenly not having symptoms that could've killed me, now they're just randomly gone but I feel this sense of doom like it will come back. And maybe it will, but I want to enjoy my time being somewhat well.

Hearing some supportive words or advice on maybe how I should bring this up to my therapist would be very helpful.

Feeling anxious the entire day since jan got a bit better but now it’s bad again, can’t seem to think about anything, can’t recollect things mainly what I studied and my family can’t seem to help either, I feel like my brain is fried and done for, what should I be doing now, I got an important exam in may.

Are a lot of patients like me having ptsd from the social media threats posted by top government officials? I swear I regressed, walking around stunned the next day, April 8, unable to focus. I can't possibly be the only one.

is this normal? all three of her sessions have been this way. i checked the bill and what amount of time she’s billing for, and it’s 45 minutes. the first time we booked she told us the time to meet, and i double checked on the app, and then when the time came she said my mom and her were actually supposed to meet later.

i checked the app while on the phone and it said a different time than she was insisting on. when i told her that, she said i must have gotten it wrong. that situation rubbed me the wrong way, but i figured she must have made a mistake. now, she ends each session almost exactly at the 30 minute mark.

i have since sent a message asking why the sessions are only thirty minutes, but would love some advice or insight on what others might think is happening here.

Like the title says, does life ever get better?

I am 27 M, living on my own. I am doing okay professionally.

But I still can’t find any reason to be happy. Everything in my life is great. I have a family who love me, friends who care… a job that pays me enough.

Still I feel so empty all the time. I woke up the other night, stressed about the fact that I am not stressed. I understand that this sounds like a privilege. I have it wayyyyyyy better than most people. But I still can’t be happy. For a long time, I thought that maybe finding love is the solution.

That’s not it, honestly. I have found and let love go. I have this innate self loathing that keeps telling me that the other person deserves better. What if people judge them for being with me? What if they realise I am a mess?

Hello all. I am suspecting I may be experiencing PTSD from a SA situation that occurred when I was a child. I am going to further discuss everything with my therapist, but feeling that my experience is not as "severe" as some others may have experienced is making me pause about wanting to bring it up.

The event happened so long ago, it is a bit jarring to have such a seemingly insignificant thing bother me so much now, considering I have discussed the event with my therapist before, but talking about it then didn't seem to bother me as much as thinking about it now does.

To those who have already or are working out their own trauma, what would be a good way to bring it up to my therapist again while best avoiding triggering myself too much? (I am in the process of potentially being diagnosed with Autism, so verbal communication is not always the easiest for me). Thank you in advance to any who reply.

I just feel messed up and broken

I just need help but therapy isn't affordable at all where I live.

long story short I had a therapist (uses they/them pronouns) in my first few months of uni. did around 4 sessions. I loved their services and it was a great fit but it was a lot of mental effort and it drained the life out of me. I also realised I was not ready to start therapy again. instead of apologising to them and explaining the situation I said I can't make it to the session (before cancellation period) and they said no worries and asked to reschedule. I just left the email sitting in my inbox and honestly I didn't mean to and time just kept passing and I felt like I couldn't respond anymore despite them sending a follow up. almost a year later and I am struggling again and would love to have them as my therapist but I'm embarrassed to show face after ghosting them and being immature esp since I don't have an excuse.

even if they would take me back I would feel so bad but also I know I would feel more comfortable with them as my therapist. any advice or similar situations? is this something therapists experience?

A couple months ago I went to thing counselling thing (to help with understanding emotions) and at the end me and my mum were told I should do therapy and how long they recommend the gap from what I was doing and the therapy should be.

It’s now the time I should be going and I’ve been trying everything to get her to take me but she won’t listen (she doesn’t believe the people who told me I should go are correct)

I feel like the only way for me to go is for her to come to the conclusion herself.

my brother has an ex girlfriend that he has had a child with. Some years have passed and they're broken up, alot has happened but now it's a terrible situation for my brother. My nieces mother is quite the person, hell on earth honestly. she's very aggressive with my brother and often is making mistakes that she pins towards my brother almost every time they interact. it's like watching him go through hell with a human person.She often spins situations into chaos and is often irrational, asking my brother for money for his daughter but uses it for something selfish. she lies, cheats and is stealing. I don't fully have knowledge of their situation in terms of legal restrictions, I know my brother is not allowed to talk to her or allowed to stay in the same home. they both do report to I think a lawyer? I tend not to ask as again, my brother can ESCALATE.

my brother is a good man, I feel he's the only person that's literally me in a way. he is more prone to his anger though, sad to say it gets the better of him often. he can escalate himself and can start to break things. it's sadly obvious that he is in a terrible situation with this woman. he often mentions that she told him she wouldn't "act like a terrible baby mama" and has been like that since my niece was born. I assume money and mental issues are her struggles.

I only ask, how can I support my brother? I often go with him when he meets her or drops off his daughter in case they do get it in a fight. I'm not a talker, but I see the patterns and what hurts him in what he says. ofc I can only do so much and just make sure my brother and niece are safe.

Back in 2019, I asked out a co-worker who initially said yes. We went on a few dates before she called things off and she had cited not being in a good place for dating because of two things. One was her claim that she wanted some time for herself to heal after a recent ugly breakup. Two was that apparently her mother was really controlling over her life, especially her dating life, and she wanted to put her focus on moving out of her mom’s house before committing to dating.

So I spent a lot of time waiting for her at her request. She specifically asked how I felt about waiting for her to be ready and I agreed with zero hesitation. But then came a point where a mutual friend had told me that she had started dating another guy. I asked this girl about if she was dating anyone and she denied it. But I did some digging around on social media and sure enough, I found her new boyfriend. Even though she was still acting flirty, acting as if she was single and saving herself for me, she clearly had a boyfriend.

So the next time she tried talking to me at work, I just ignored her and walked the other way. I had a lot of anxiety about doing that to a co-worker, but then I slowly realized that it felt good giving her the cold shoulder. So we spent the next few months ignoring each other until she got a new job and that was the end of her.

Jump to now and I feel as if I’m in a position where I like holding grudges and ignoring people who I perceive to have wronged me. Specifically women who I view as romantic interests. There have been several occasions since the pandemic where I’ll ask out a girl, she’ll reject me for one reason, and then come crawling back to me. My response to them coming back to me is to ignore them and hold a grudge. I get so much satisfaction out of walking past them like they don’t exist when they try to talk to me. I feel good knowing that I burned that bridge and pissed them off.

But I’m finally at a point at 30 years old where I’m starting to realize that it’s nothing but short term satisfaction that turns into long term pain and regret. I know that I need to overcome this, but I don’t know how. I know this all goes back to my co-worker from 2019 and I’m trying to understand why that’s lead to me getting such joy out of cold shoulders and grudges towards women who I know didn’t necessarily do anything wrong. What’s wrong with me?

20m here. Been struggling with a lot of depression and anxiety as of late, especially due to a breakup that happened a few weeks ago. I cant stop this craving for a motherly figure in my life. My inner child wont shut up and it keeps telling me how sad and lonely and scared i am and how nobody likes me, nobody wants to be my friend, i have nothing, etc. Its like my inner self has assumed the state of a sad, bullied child and i dont know how to make it stop.