I heard someone say its easily treated. Im 36, but I've been dealing with sa since I was 13. Completely destroyed my life. Don't work , don't date, and didn't learn to drive until I was 31. 6 years Ive been trying to get rid of sa and I have made some improvements like learning how to drive, but I still struggle so much. I taken meds which didn't help much. So im probably gonna deal with this for fhe rest of my life
Usually when I'm talking to someone they'll speak a lot and joke around and all I do is nod and say hmm,yeah, right, ok and smile like an idiot. The conversation starts to feel like a monologue and I begin to overthink to the point I start missing what the person is saying and the few times I do have something to add i'm too self conscious to speak them out loud.
I'm in my early 30s and I've been mostly isolated at home for the past several years. I don't have a degree, a job or real work experience. And I also don't drive so I have been struggling with anxiety, low confidence and feeling overwhelmed about how behind I am in life.
Most of the days are spent on my phone and I feel stuck in a loop of worrying and not taking actions. I want to change my situation, become independent and build a normal life but I honestly don't know what the first realistic step is from here.
I just feel so overwhelmed to start and where to begin that my mind just keeps giving up on me because the journey of starting life from scratch feels very difficult to digest.
I'm curious, would you actually follow a 4-week plan based on CBT techniques if it gave you one small task to do each day with a clear progression like real therapy?
Asking because I know a lot of people with SA can't access a therapist or just aren't ready for that step, and I'm curious if a structured self-help approach like that would feel doable and even help.
Every single thing I’m embarrassed by. When I’m at work and refilling the soda cooler, I feel that everyone is watching me and judging how I pick up and place the sodas in the cooler.
When I walk through a line of people, I feel like they are watching how I walk.
When I talk, this is the worst feeling, I feel like the other person is listening to every gulp and wrong pronunciation.
When I eat in front of someone, I feel like I am chewing so loud and make more of a mess as I feel weird and start to shake or eat too quickly.
Even when I stand in a crowd, at a concert or event, I feel i’m 100% being too boring, and I want to be dancing or talking to someone, but I’m too embarrassed by how stupid I’d look. You know those headbanger people, there’s always a handful of them at concerts- they do look really funny, but in a cool, i want to be like that, carefree, kind of way.
When I wear my glasses I recently purchased, i feel like Im wearing goggles and everyone is thinking i look out of place, like they can tell I normally don’t wear glasses.
But I still have a weird sense of idgaf, like if someone is openly judging me, it makes me want to be more weird to piss them off. But then it feels like i’m acting normal because i have confidence??? . If it’s a higher authority I don’t want to judge me, I just act awkward because i’m overthinking everything. idk
hello, i need some advice from women. i am in my early twenties, lonely and would like to explore dating since i never had the opportunity for that before. i have graduated (a women's college, so no male contact at all), suffer from social anxiety. so please, if you have any suggestions with how i should start, feel free to engage with this post. i am very lost and lonely and need a companion.
Whenever I’m in public, I feel hyper aware of people around me.
Even if someone just looks in my direction, my brain instantly goes “they’re judging you” or “they can hear everything you’re saying.”
I know logically it’s probably not true… but it still makes me shut down and overthink everything.
It’s exhausting.
Does anyone else deal with this?
Today at work, I was preparing food for a customer when she initiated a conversation with me. I could tell she was into me, I was into her as well and showed interest. However, at the very last second, I pulled back instead of asking for her number or Instagram. I just said goodbye because my life is a total mess right now, and I don't think I'm ready for a relationship. Plus, I have severe social anxiety, and I’m 100% sure I’d fuck it up on our first date.
That alone would usually be enough to mess me up, but what happened next was even worse. My coworkers apparently saw the interaction, and as soon as I went back to the start of the food line, they yelled, 'Dude, are you a fucking idiot? She was into you!' and 'You managed to pull defeat from the jaws of victory!'
I was just honest and told them, 'Guys, I’m not ready yet.' What's worse is, it turns out the girl hadn’t left the store yet. I assume she overheard us because we were being pretty loud. As soon as I realized that, I ran into the dish pit, started washing dishes, and put my headphones on to try and forget what happened.
Now I wanna get plastic surgery, change my name, and move across the country. Does anyone on the east coast have a free corner in their basement?
I’ve been in therapy for four weeks, but I don’t feel like I’m making much progress. I know it takes time, but I’m not where I expected to be. Sessions feel helpful and I like my therapist, yet it doesn’t seem to carry over into my daily life. I’m still dealing with the same issues. I just feel hopeless and that I’m never going to truly get better.
Awkward in the way that you don’t tell your preference and even during the act it’s so awkward /shy to watch your partner looking at you , doing things to you ,that you prefer being blindfolded, not as a kink but because you feel safe and unseen
My social anxiety looks like the opposite of most people. I get out and talk to people a lot. I often come across as really chill and outgoing. This has helped me make lots of friends and acquaintances, which is awesome, but it doesn't change the way I feel on the inside. I'm still scared. Terrified I won't say the right things. Scared of silence. Always scrambling to make people feel comfortable in conversations. Micromanaging and forcing facial expressions.
My body suffers because of this. Stuff like dry mouth, exhaustion, chills, headaches, and a tight compressed feeling in my solar plexus (I suspect to be repressed emotions.) My face doesn't want to make any expressions a lot of the time, so I fake enthusiasm, laughing, shock, ect.
The advice to "be urself" is so frustrating to me. If I let go of the facade, or if I do what I really feel like doing, I'll go silent and stone-faced, usually because I'm so exhausted from faking it. Also, what if I'm naturally just a really quiet person? Nobody likes that. I love the idea that people should embrace silence, but I truthfully don't think it's very realistic. People are gonna get uncomfortable if I have nothing to say in conversations, or when we're hanging out.
What's also really tricky is that when I flip to being shy and not very sociable, it's hard to get out of it. It just turns into another way to cope.
I know I should be doing exposures like purposeful awkward silences, but I just can't bring myself to do it, because I always think, "No, not this person. I don't want to hurt them or ruin our relationship." Restructuring my thoughts feels pointless because I don't actually believe the thought corrections. As much as I HATE the anxiety and fear, I don't see a way out. People are going to leave if I stop masking. And that might mean just about everyone.
Maybe I really am an extrovert, and my true self is interesting and cool. I still can't get to that version of myself because I would have to be okay with not being sociable or likable. I just don't know what to do, guys. Any advice?
Phone calls (doctor, insurance, car repair quotes, etc.) stress me out way more than they should, so I end up putting them off longer than I want to.
I much prefer texting, live chat, or email.
Lately I’ve been wondering if it’d be useful to have something that just makes the call for you and texts you the result.
Not sure if that’s overkill or actually helpful.
Curious if other people deal with this too. Do you avoid calls, and if so, how do you handle it?
How many of you decided to remain single because of social anxiety? I’m 30 and never dated anyone and my family is pressuring me to find someone and settle down. I don’t know where to meet anyone because my social anxiety is so bad. I feel like I’m being judged whenever I go out and meet someone. I do stutter a bit so that makes it worse for me. Hoping to get some tips on how I can get over that fear.
so I just started working today and it’s my first ever job (22). I work with 3 other girls but they are extremely outgoing and I am definitely not. I am very shy and quiet and awkward. It feels so awkward because when we have lunch it’s like they feel awkward too because I am just there. They are nie girls im not gonna lie, but I find it so hard to integrate. I couldn’t be myself around them even if a fun was pointed to my head.
What should I even do??
Needed a job badly and was willing to commit to it. Applied to many, had so many negative experiences like quoting a low pay etc, but came across a job that was not in my league. I used to be of the impression that I am not tailormade for such fields, but that is exactly where I have landed myself in.
Lots of interactions, meeting people, discussions, the things that used to scare me like crazy, I am able to handle them with ease because of the confidence I have found in myself, yet again. Unfortunately, the problem is not in it. I used to hate taking the public transport due to the rude drivers and I also have this tension when it comes to handling cash. I fail to figure out the change at that moment and I hate being overcharged which adds to my tension. There is no online pay which is terrible.
I had a bad experience the very first day; taken to a wrong direction, walked so much, encountered a rude driver (I truly want to beat the living daylights out of him, his behavior was so uncalled for), my feet are sore after all the walking, got into a vehicle only to be overcharged and I had to get off midway and well... walk again sigh.
I stepped out of my office feeling happy and fresh, only to be exhausted by all the roadside nuisance.
I don't know how I am going to handle this transport thing again tomorrow.
Anyway, I did not let all that ruin my mind unlike those days. Just hate such people and wish they got their share of punishment or face the consequences.
Also, I still am not sure how I would deal with phonecalls. Let's keep trying and let's keep going :')
So yeah, as title says. Its a good internship at a big 4 world companies in my field.
But...it will be a very social thing. In group, where we will need to communicate and stuff and talk about ourselves (its both an internship and a persona growth course kind of thing) and i feel so scared just thinking about it.
I have severe social anxiety. I struggle with talking to people in general, let alone in such an enviroment. Im so worried about ruining stuff but also i would feel very guilty about passing on this oportunity...
So yeah, kinda stuck now between choices now. Accept this, or try to find something more chill but with much less "prestige"
I have always been anxious and considered shy and quiet by people, but recently it's been getting so much worse that I barely get out of the house.
There was a small kinda religious gathering on our street and I didn't want to go, obviously, but my mother insisted and I figured it would be fine.
Oh, how naive of me. The minute I saw the crowd, the music from the speakers, I couldn't even take my eyes off the ground. I stayed for like a few seconds and just put my head down and rushed home.
It was so rude and embarrassing but I was sweating and my heart beat was so quick.
I didn't know what to do. My mom came after me and asked me to go out again and have some food and I had to go out and shamelessly eat.
How am I going to function in society? That was so indescribably rude.
I wanted to vent to my friend but she ghosted me after a very dry text even though I'm always there for her.
I get it could be for a variety of resons but this happens quite a lot and I don't know.
I just feel hurt.
I have big problems with the shaky voice, shortness of breath, feeling frozen and like I can’t speak. Please someone ease my mind and tell me this medicine helps. And if so, how many milligrams did you take?
TW: MENTION OF SH AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS
Guys i more and more feel like i am faking social anxiety. I dont understand myself anymore...about a year ago i started thinking about getting a therapist, and eventually two months ago i had my first Conversation with her. I Talked about how sensitive i am to rejection, dont participate in class and am reserved to my friends. Sie immediatly suspected social anxiety (like i do) and therapy Starts IN 9 MONTHS...
BUT here's the catch; i feel like i dont really have anything (ngl depends on the day, when i have a good day i doubt myself, when i feel bad i lean into it) . Maybe i am exagerrating im just shy, or talked myself into having it. Maybe i am just insecure and rejection sensitive or hypersensitive. Am i faking? Is all i ask myself the whole day, especially since i dont mind being like this. Sometimes i hate it, Sometimes i am okay with getting worse:( i dont understand myself
On the other hand i cut myself whenever feeling sad or experincing something negative (social situations or something). Dunno why exactly its not like i enjoy it but im Not gonna stop really either..i also had intrusive thoughts of attempting just because i got embarassed at school.
Written by a confused teen who feels alone with their feelings because i am way too reserved. Love yall <3
when i graduated high school, i found out that my closest friends (my ‘found family’) had a group chat without me and would talk so badly about me behind my back.
it’s been a few years since that, and i made a group of new friends two months ago with some individuals i felt really happy with. i hung out with one of them specifically (T) a couple times, and as a full group, only once.
most recently, two weeks ago, they’d all gone somewhere without me. i couldn’t make it bc of other commitments. there was an instance before this hangout where a trio hangout became a duo hangout with just me and T, because someone else from the group canceled last second. i told T that it made me a little angry for a bit bc i cancelled other plans to do this and she didn’t even show up, and im scared T might’ve told her that and they might’ve talked about me being too angry or rude. even tho i said i got over it quickly!! i was even nice to her :-/
i believe this because i texted the gc the next day, a question for a future hangout, and absolutely no response.
T is the one i’d hang out with frequently more, so i sent him a text, just a meme, and he replied back nicely. but when i brought up a place he might like to go to he said he was busy.
i understand he could genuinely, sincerely be busy with studies. and i know i didn’t clearlyyy make it an invitation to go with me but i was getting there 😭
am i being crazy yall. do these people want nothing to do with me :-( what should i even do. i don’t want to text the gc again and im scared if i text him ill come off as really clingy. i wanna bump into him randomly on campus and talk to him about it but that sounds just like a fantasy 😭