Anyone else dont believe themselves? Am i faking?
TW: MENTION OF SH AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS
Guys i more and more feel like i am faking social anxiety. I dont understand myself anymore...about a year ago i started thinking about getting a therapist, and eventually two months ago i had my first Conversation with her. I Talked about how sensitive i am to rejection, dont participate in class and am reserved to my friends. Sie immediatly suspected social anxiety (like i do) and therapy Starts IN 9 MONTHS...
BUT here's the catch; i feel like i dont really have anything (ngl depends on the day, when i have a good day i doubt myself, when i feel bad i lean into it) . Maybe i am exagerrating im just shy, or talked myself into having it. Maybe i am just insecure and rejection sensitive or hypersensitive. Am i faking? Is all i ask myself the whole day, especially since i dont mind being like this. Sometimes i hate it, Sometimes i am okay with getting worse:( i dont understand myself
On the other hand i cut myself whenever feeling sad or experincing something negative (social situations or something). Dunno why exactly its not like i enjoy it but im Not gonna stop really either..i also had intrusive thoughts of attempting just because i got embarassed at school.
Written by a confused teen who feels alone with their feelings because i am way too reserved. Love yall <3