I’m asking this in every MBTI’s subreddit because I’m curious. Honestly ISFPs are some of the best people I know and I would love to be friends with one. So I’m curious, how do your relationships tend to be with INFJs?
I’ve (infj f) been talking to an ISFP guy and we have a pretty ambiguous relationship. I think we are pretty friendly but occasionally will flirt jokingly here and there. We used to message each other almost everyday and he used to ask questions about myself and vice versa, but then slowly he started replying infrequently and our conversations started going a little stale and reverted to “how are you?” Or “how was your day?” Etc.
At one point, I asked a pretty loaded question, I guess prodding more in the possibility of a relationship and he didn’t message me back for three days. And I respect he might be busy or he didn’t want to engage so I left it alone. The other day reopened conversation by saying he missed me. We chatted for a bit over random stuff. I’m too worried on asking stuff about his day or other things since the last question went ignored and he didn’t seem to care for it. So the only conversations we have now revolves around a shared game we play. And we haven’t flirted at all since then either.
I’m just a little confused is all. Does this mean he doesn’t like me and is trying to instill boundaries?
I want to be respectful of him and I don’t want to make him uncomfortable, so I wanted to get some clarity.
yeah so i tried quite a few tests and researched alot and most of my traits match with isfp except for i dont "avoid" fights...i always stand up for myself even if its for the smallest matters where i feel wronged..
does it mean i might not be an isfp?😭
People think I'm quiet , don't speak much but there's a reason behind it , it's that my communication skills sucks , when I speak I can feel it by myself how poor I am speaking with people. And people just get disinterested , so I just don't speak at all (in groups) unless I have to.
I'm trying to improve it by searching on the internet on how to but it doesn't help , they say I have to talk to more people but
I rarely meet people but when I do , this is what I always worry about , before meeting with someone i always think - what am I gonna talk with them? On which topic? What if they lose interest mid-conversion? I wish the conversation would go smoothly (especially in one-on-one)
Talking with someone seems like a chore to me and drains my energy so mucheven if it's one-on-one conversation for some few minutes .
My story telling sucks too , I can feel how boringly i tell my stories and people around me getting bored and fake smiling.
I can't help being so aware and self conscious about my poor communication skills.. i really want to improve it so badly.
I'm writing this in this community to see if my people face the same thing or is it just me🥲
I’m the oldest in my family.
When someone hurts me, or something like that happens, I analyze the situation objectively instead of letting my emotions guide me. If, objectively, it doesn’t make sense, then it’s hurtful; otherwise, I don’t care.
The only strong emotions I feel are only attachments to others. I really love people, especially my friends, i can seems emotional, expressive when i show that I like them.
But overall, it’s all quite superficial. My heart is “above all that.” Nothing really gets through to me. When I’m with people or when I meet them, things stay superficial, and if it doesn’t work out, I can easily forget and move on, because I just ignore what’s superficial. Nothing really affects me. That’s why I need to do everything with other people. Alone, I feel bored, emotionally flat, and depressed. If I go to the pool or into town, I want to go with people. If I go to school, I want to be surrounded by people. Or with someone I like and that I approached.
But it’s impossible for me to stay with the same people. I end up getting bored, I look around and think “wow, all these people!”, and I can’t stay with the same ones. I constantly meet new people, I add them on Instagram and suggest we meet just for fun. In the end, I don’t have deep friendships.
And then I end up deleting everyone, telling myself what’s the point of keeping in touch if I liked them anyway. In the end, I’m always alone inside. I’m very independent and capable of being alone; it’s not a dependency.
Group social situations (like voice calls) leave me rather indifferent, especially online.
I’m more comfortable in real life, going out and doing things rather than just talking.
In groups, I tend to observe, or I sometimes have a brief spontaneous emotional outburst, but then I go back to being calm and I stay sitting quietly without talking.
I’m very observant: people, my environment, everything. I can get to know someone just by observing them.
I’m analytical and logical. I like talking about my life to others and sharing a lot of my private life. I approach a lot of people, whether they’re alone or attractive. I’d like to have a lot of friends and go out.
I don’t necessarily try to start conversations, but sometimes I become very talkative, and other times not at all. I’m talkative when I feel emotions.
I like chatting with my friends by messages after classes, sending them texts and Reels. I ask them what they’re eating, what they’re doing, I’m curious!
I can sometimes seem very expressive and attached, like ENFPs and ESFPs, and other times stoic, like INTPs and ISTPs ?
Like my friend's very sheltered,so it's hard to differentiate
I can see fi dom easily but the rest not so much
Both are pretty different but after I read into both, I can relate to both of them. Can anybody help?
Hi INFP/ISFP,
I come here to seek advice. I moved back home with my family temporarily. A new addition to the family is my brother's girlfriend who lives here too now. My brother's in jail now so it's just her and my niece at the house now.
I noticed she literally stays in her room 24/7 and only comes out to go to work or feed her baby. It's literally like a rare sighting when I see her. It's like seeing bigfoot during an eclipse haha. Not that she looks like bigfoot.
Anyway, I tried to be her friend and make conversation with her many times so she doesn't feel lonely or depressed but for someone reason she doesn't talk back - just politely laughs or smiles then leaves. I even sent her a funny reel just so she could feel more comfortable with me and loosen up a bit but she left me on seen haha. I got the impression that it bothered her and she just wants to be left alone and hide from the world or something.
She doesn't even ask me how my day's going in return when I initially ask her about hers nor does she greet anyone. My family say she's like that and just keeps to herself.
I don't know what her exact type is but based on our few conversations and my observations of her behavior she's either an ISFP or INFP.
Is this unhealthy Fi or something? What might be going on with her? I just want to make sure she's okay and isn't suffering from severe depression or something and I'm also concerned for my niece to be honest.
Do you recognize this behavior in yourself too? If so can you please provide feedback on how to reach out to her and let her know she's not alone. I've verbally said it many times but she doesn't seem to really register it.
So I want to star by saying I am very analytical and analyse stuff a lot, and I also spend a lot of time at home, indoors, but I don’t rlly want to, I just don’t end up going outside, but I do like physical and mental thrill, or getting high just thinking of exciting stuff, and doing it, like sports or something or running, but I don’t do them that often, so uh, yeah.
I am naturally good at art but I don’t rlly do art except to see how cool I can make something or to analyse something, or visualise my inside thoughts, I also have extremely keen eye for aesthetics and I hate bad smelling and ugly things, like I need stuff to look good, or fit an aesthetic somewhat, and spend a lot of time thinking about that.
I am socially extremely awkward, or slow to react and seem rude, like I’m in my head so much I don’t realise they said hi and after like, 5 seconds I realise they said hi, and then I think of how to respond, and then they move on with an impression, and I’m a little stressed cuz I didn’t mean that, idk,
I do become a little people pleasey sometimes or often if they didn’t do anything wrong to me and I think I need to prove how cool I am, but idk, uhm also I like to yap a ton, like now, it gonna be a lot, I just let my thoughts translate onto typing words, and keep typing, idc about structure or grammar too much, I just hate the red underline because it looks annoying, and like an error message.
I ams super bad abt studying and can’t be consistent in anything at all, like I can’t follow any routine long enough or it’ll be super hard to, and barely hang on, but uhm I also can’t stick to one career path also, I keep changing it based on which one seems cooler and more cool looking. Like awesome, thrilling. Tbh I want a job where I don’t have to be too creative, because I get nervous with too many options because I want all the options but I have to choose one, and choosing is rlly hard because I want all of them.
I do have OCD with being clean and I make going bathroom harder than it is, and do think, that’s didn’t have to eat, I wouldn’t have to go bathroom, and then I stop eating, and starve but somehow I still end up going bathroom, so it kind didn’t work.
I do care about appearance and want to look hot or attractive/pretty and also ability mostly speed, and beg for it everyday, but bones can’t change that much, unless without a hassle, and all the money saving to surgeries which may not work, but anyways…
I do like to tease my family by playing dumb or saying annoying stuff but they get Lowky mad so I have to stop, but I find reactions from people super fun, and exhilarating, idc if hat reactions, as long as they are shocked, disappointed, it’s so funny to me, but yeah.
Tbh if you saw me irl, I would be like looking a lil homeless because I do care about appearance but it to be low maintenance, because doing stuff to keep my looks up is too much a hassle, and uh yeah, also I will be extremely quiet especially in indoor places where I think your not supposed to speak, like social rules kinda yk? But in streets or parks I may talk more because it’s more acceptable.
I do kinda am aware of and look at what socially acceptable in places and play around or manilpulate or correspond my actions to desired results often, so uh yeah.
I do often have a think to bring fiction to reality, like I tried to electrocute myself to be the flash, or well hope to get hit by lightning, and trying to be a forensic scientist so I could be in same conditions as flash to be the flash, or after watching Harry Potter genuinely believing I could pull spells off, I do that a lot and people call me unrealistic, smh. 🤦 😔
SORRY FOR BEING A YAPPATRON MB 😭 🙏
hey my dear isfps,
I (intj 5w4, 20f) have a problem, or at least what seems to be a huge problem to me… Let me elaborate; I have a crush on a friend of mine (20m), who happens to be an isfp…
I don’t fucking know what to do, so I’m js posting this here cuz idk?? Sorry for my emotional writing, I’m all over the place. Usually I’m not.
So, him and I have been friends for abt 1.5 years now. We went to the same school and first talked during our graduation trip. Before that, I didn’t like him AT ALL.
Where do I even begin??? I will not tell our
whole story, like how me met and stuff.
So, basically... Last year, I sorta had the feeling that he might like me??? I wasn’t sure, since I’m really bad with emotional and non-verbal stuff, so I just shrugged it off as “wishful thinking”, since without evidence one can make no claim. During that time I also had a crush on a guy with whom he (my friend) was also kinda friends with. After he rejected me, I told my friend. I remember thinking “If I tell him about it, I might hurt him” but again, I shrugged it off. That was in February of last year. During that time also called several times a week for a bit more than a month, with each call lasting 2+h, most well until after midnight. Our conversations were partially about shallow things, but mostly they were really deep. I remember consciously thinking that these calls strengthened our friendship and that we grew a whole lot closer. I also remember thinking that our friendship was sorta special and different from all my other ones.
We didnt hang out in person tho. One time he tried to ask me to the cinema, But he asked it in a manner that really confused me??? In between the lines, so I misunderstood and invited other people to come along as well… It was 9 months later that I realised he had only meant him and me.
The first time he asked to call, he also said that we don’t find enough time to talk with each other in school anyways. Does that not imply that he wanted to spend time with me? Anyways, back then I also wanted to do things with him, but I was waiting for him to ask first. That’s the matter with him, he NEVER says what he wants. In general, I mean. His needs and wants come up during conversations when it happens to “fit”, he seems not to be able to just state what he wants. This srsly pmo. Like, he barely ever texts first too, bruh. He js seems to be really passive. He feels a lot, but doesn’t really open up about his emotions, though when you talk to him about yours, he can help.
We had 3 classes together. Two of which were English and Spanish (neither of those are our native language). I happen to be fluent in both of them (I lived in LatAm for 4 yrs and my mom’s a huge fan of Spanish telenovela). Whenever something funny happened or was said in class, we always looked at each other fist. I remember that it felt really awkward and like “wth was that?!” and “next time, do NOT look at him.”. In Spanish class, his grades did not affect his final grade. In my country most students is skip the class if they do not need it. He however stayed and actually made an effort, even though it was useless to him. In the class, his body was also obviously turned in my direction and I was like (in my head of) “BOY WHAT ARE YOU DOING. NONONONONONONO, STOPP STOP STOP STOP, PLEASE JUST TURN AROUND JUST TURN AROUND, TURN AROUND PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!”. ARGHHH IT WAS SOOOO AWKWARD HELP MEEEEE 😭
In our graduation yearbook we had the choice to write comments to other ppl. For me he wrote smth like this; ”you’re incredibly fascinating. Though your cognitive abilities are really impressive, you empathetic abilities are even more. You are a lot about other people and also about what they of you. I am certain that you will find more friends who love you as much as we love you“. Btw, after meeting him is when I started to develop my social skills, and making my friends happy. I do go out of my way to make my friends feel seen.
My brain is trying to make me believe he actually liked me, but I think that was just wishful thinking.
After graduation, he went abroad for 9 months, 18000 km (11185 miles) away. He is set to return him this month. When he left I really didn’t gaf. I was js happy for him and wished him a good time and that kinda stuff. In October that year I kinda missed him a bit and I dreamt that I texted him that I miss him lots. For 3 months I believed that I actually texted it to him irl, but turns out it was just a dream LMAO. Then, in November I went to a mutual friend’s birthday party. There a mutual friend of him and her was also present (my friend introduced them to each other). Their mutual friend mentioned my friend’s name, and that was the moment I fell for him. Yeah, I know. That’s stupid as hell. I was like, in my head: “Oh, Herman! He’s my friend, I love him sooo much platonically! Herman, Herman… Herman….” (not his real name btw). LMAO, ever since then I couldn’t stop thinking about him… At first I tried to kinda fight it. When I first met him I thought “Lmao, he’s the kind of guy I could NEVER get a crush on“. And after the bday I was like “Ok, be careful now… If I don’t stop thinking about him, I will develop romantic feelings for him. We do NOT want that!!”. Welp, guess what happened. I did develop romantic feelings...
Anyways… He has a YouTube channel where he posts about his travels. He uses AI images for like 1/8 of the content (ICK). It was js all normal stuff. His friends comment and he always replies. The replies to my comments always got extra attention from him which I really liked. Anyways, his last video was about van life where he is rn, and the thumbnail was an ai generated image of a couple n other stuff that appears in the video. That basically confirms that the prompt must’ve been something like “Couple inside van […]“. A clip from the video was also filmed from the pssanger’s seats perspective, confirming my suspicions. Also, on Spotify he made a playlist with another girl exchanging songs from their respective countries ig. So far, he has not added anything else than what he added in the beginning. But she did. She randomly added one romantic song abt saying goodbye or smth in English, NOT HER LANGUAGE, and another ENGLISH song on his BIRTHDAY.
💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
This really breaks my heart. I think I should confess when he’s back ig… I have high academic goals, but with this emotional distraction, it’s not going quite as planned.
What do you guys think? Should I confess? How should I even confess? 😭😭😭
ESFJ (F25) here, dating an ISFP (M27) for about 2 months now. It started off really well—no intense rush of chemistry, but it felt calm and I always felt safe around him (still do).
The challenge now is that he hasn’t been putting in the same effort as before. In the beginning, he went out of his way for me—once even came to see me with a broken leg, brought flowers, and always knew exactly what to say to make me feel better. Sometimes it’s scary how well he understands me, like he mirrors how I think. We also have a very playful, easy dynamic together.
Recently, we argued because he started calling me “chubby” or “fat” as a joke. I initially told him calmly not to refer to me that way, but it still got to me, especially since I’ve gained a bit of weight. When I mentioned it to my INFJ sister, she said it might come from insecurity and told me to watch for red flags. I brought that up to him, which led to an argument, and he gave me the silent treatment for 4–5 days. I have an anxious attachment style, so this really triggered me and made me want to end things because I felt like my needs weren’t being met.
I didn’t break up because I do have feelings for him and wanted to communicate and try to fix things first. I explained everything and asked for a genuine apology, especially for the insecurity comment, which improved things slightly—but he never actually gave a proper apology. He was still emphatic towards me though.
Things feel somewhat normal again, and I’m trying to observe without jumping to conclusions. He now calls me 2–3 times a day (compared to once during the silent treatment), but we haven’t met since the argument.
Now I’m stuck wondering what if he doesn’t show up the way I need. Can communication really fix something like this? Should I just ask him directly if he still wants to continue?
It feels like my heart wants him, but my mind is starting to reject the inconsistency.
I know this might not be about MBTI, but I’m still curious—how do ISFPs act when they start losing feelings, if that’s even what’s happening here?
Je suis a chaque fois fatigué lorsque je sort du boulot c'est pénible, je veux dire après je fais presque rien le reste de la journée 😩
Vous pourriez me dire comment vous vous recharger après le travail pour continuer à faire vos affaires ?
I don't know where this change originated from, but throughout the past few years (currently a college undergrad) I feel like I lost so much of my social skills. I can communicate just fine with my close friend group, but put me with anyone else and I become dry and stiff as a rock (more specifically, I'm fine talking to strangers my age, but talking to people that I know but am not close with is a different story). Unless the person I'm talking to has a very welcoming and nonjudgemental aura and/or initiates most of the conversation, my mind just becomes a blank slate aside from shallow NPC convo topics. (all of this only applies to one on one conversations; any group with >2 people, I become myself again). Also, I have this weird thing I've developed where if I've talked to someone before but it's been a while, the next time I'm in a room with them or see them, I'll instinctively avoid eye contact/talking, which probably makes me seem very distant. These days I get pretty anxious about one on one hangouts/convos (even a 10 minute walk to class) because I hate feeling like a bore to others and hate awkward silences. Don't even get me started on approaching people that I like(d); non-existent. I really look up to people who exude a bubbly personality and seem carefree when talking.
[fluff: I think this post also originated because I was noticing how the sorority members at my college have such vibrant social circles and manners of speaking. Someone I like is in a frat and has sorority friends, and I'm just thinking, why would he ever like me over a flirty, social sorority-type girl.]
Anyone relate and/or have any tips on becoming better at socializing? Also to clarify, I'm far from being a loner or anything like that, I just feel like I can't make and maintain meaningful connections as well as before, and am lowkey becoming nervous about talking to people
Hii! I've been typed as an ISFP since I was a young adult (F27) and have never doubted it. But for some reason, plenty of people didn't really believe I'm an ISFP because of the stereotypes like how ISFP is supposed to be creative, abstract, more emotional, etc. Basically I didn't fit much in the box of ISFP, I got mistyped as ESTJ before cuz apparently I'm too 'social and logical' to be ISFP.
That aside, I do believe that enneagram can further set every ISFP apart rather than representing the stereotypical ISFP. I'm 6w5, which means a lot of times I'll lean more into thinking and remain logical, rather than making assumptions driven by emotional vulnerability. My core being safety means I'll priotize people who make me feel safe and secure, rather than people who accept my individuality, albeit this can go hand in hand. My friends also think I'm smart, even though I have a hard time believing it (they said I talk like I know things, and often know stuff they usually don't bother with). Since I'm raised by an INTJ mom and INFJ dad, and I grew up surrounded by INXJs, I consider my Ni to be improving and better, though it's not as good as people with the first or second function being Ni.
This is just my theory though, I can't really 'test' it out because I don't have ISFP friends and the only ISFP I know is myself. I would love to learn what other enneagram can influence ISFP's cognitive functions.
i’m an isfp f missing an isfp m. it was perfect and i’m worried i won’t find that strong yet gentle isfp love like him again. he ended things a while ago but he’s been creeping into my mind again lately.
i notice no matter how much i miss someone i usually tend not to reach out. i always do this in the beginning stages too. i always admire from a far but say nothing. i wonder if other isfps do this? or if he may be doing the same thing, or if i should reach out for once! (still leaning against not lol)
And I want to ask, what do you spend your days doing? Are you active, going out, or more in your room type.
I also want to ask, do you like analysing things? At all? Like how stuff works or stuff? Thx
I (ESTP) female, dated an ISFP female a little over a year, and broke up 2 years ago.
I have fully moved on, and I’m only posting this as my mutual who was closer to her recently told me that apparently she said she only dated me for clout. I don’t know what to make of it.
A little background information: Keep in mind we were in high-school. I had a crush on her for over a year and we were borderline okay friends, I confessed once and got rejected yet we remained friends. A few months later she confessed to me in real life and we started dating. Yet, I was too scared to make real-life contact - most of our contact was through text (even though we were in the same class). In the middle I initiated a break because I thought we were getting no where, yet she said she really wanted to get back together, and so we did. Then fast forward several months later she officially breaks up with me. I was really heartbroken – but we had a field trip the week after and we had to attend talk to each other, it was really the first time I talked to her in real-life for a long time. Yet she said this while we were boarding a bus “Imagine being gay, I can’t” right in front of my face, when we just dated for a year.
Back to what my mutual told me – I was genuinely shocked. I don’t believe it at all, did I really get played? I can’t tell if she did it to erase her shame in dating a girl or if she genuinely only dated me for clout… during our time together we texted regularly, showed affection through text and I just can’t believe she would say that.
Could you ISFPs help me understand what type of perspective you would have if you were this girl? I know you can’t read her mind and all but I just want a little insight into why she might’ve done that.
Am an INFJ. My best friend is an ISFP. Thing is that while he tells me that he wants to hear what I think about and let myself free, I feel he kind of gets a bit bored of it. He interacts with me and he knows I dearly admire him. How can I know how he feels about me(as an INFJ dont really like confrontation but want to be fun and loving for him). Like what do u guys want and what you would appreciate from an INFJ???