Signs your ISFP BF is losing interest?
ESFJ (F25) here, dating an ISFP (M27) for about 2 months now. It started off really well—no intense rush of chemistry, but it felt calm and I always felt safe around him (still do).
The challenge now is that he hasn’t been putting in the same effort as before. In the beginning, he went out of his way for me—once even came to see me with a broken leg, brought flowers, and always knew exactly what to say to make me feel better. Sometimes it’s scary how well he understands me, like he mirrors how I think. We also have a very playful, easy dynamic together.
Recently, we argued because he started calling me “chubby” or “fat” as a joke. I initially told him calmly not to refer to me that way, but it still got to me, especially since I’ve gained a bit of weight. When I mentioned it to my INFJ sister, she said it might come from insecurity and told me to watch for red flags. I brought that up to him, which led to an argument, and he gave me the silent treatment for 4–5 days. I have an anxious attachment style, so this really triggered me and made me want to end things because I felt like my needs weren’t being met.
I didn’t break up because I do have feelings for him and wanted to communicate and try to fix things first. I explained everything and asked for a genuine apology, especially for the insecurity comment, which improved things slightly—but he never actually gave a proper apology. He was still emphatic towards me though.
Things feel somewhat normal again, and I’m trying to observe without jumping to conclusions. He now calls me 2–3 times a day (compared to once during the silent treatment), but we haven’t met since the argument.
Now I’m stuck wondering what if he doesn’t show up the way I need. Can communication really fix something like this? Should I just ask him directly if he still wants to continue?
It feels like my heart wants him, but my mind is starting to reject the inconsistency.
I know this might not be about MBTI, but I’m still curious—how do ISFPs act when they start losing feelings, if that’s even what’s happening here?