I don't talk much but there's a reason behind it
People think I'm quiet , don't speak much but there's a reason behind it , it's that my communication skills sucks , when I speak I can feel it by myself how poor I am speaking with people. And people just get disinterested , so I just don't speak at all (in groups) unless I have to.
I'm trying to improve it by searching on the internet on how to but it doesn't help , they say I have to talk to more people but
I rarely meet people but when I do , this is what I always worry about , before meeting with someone i always think - what am I gonna talk with them? On which topic? What if they lose interest mid-conversion? I wish the conversation would go smoothly (especially in one-on-one)
Talking with someone seems like a chore to me and drains my energy so mucheven if it's one-on-one conversation for some few minutes .
My story telling sucks too , I can feel how boringly i tell my stories and people around me getting bored and fake smiling.
I can't help being so aware and self conscious about my poor communication skills.. i really want to improve it so badly.