r/exjwLGBT

Everyone under twenty five is getting married in my assembly

And everyone to someone in said assembly or one close by

It's kinda sad to see because it all feels so rushed, even in my old assembly people didn't get married so young so fast

Last year there was a lot of drama because a couple divorced without adultery and so the sister was dissfellowshiped

Another one that just got engaged is a sister just one year older than me(19)and someone I'm close to. it's very obvious that their relationship won't last and that they're mainly together because they grew up together and the feeling of shared circumstances is the closets to love they ever felt but they'll be stuck together because none of them will cheat.

I spent all my life seeing/ hearing of jws marriages go horribly wrong

And yet my mother is starting to get more and more pushy about me getting married or at least courting someone

I think she's scared because my sister left the organization (never officially) because she lives with a man without being married, she thinks that if my sister would just get married she'll be allowed to be treated as someone inactive and not dissfellowshiped

I think she's scared of the same thing happening to me and think that at least if I'm married I'll have someone to "strengthen my faith" or at least just be the link to me and spirituality

I don't know what to do, my friends (worldly) suggested jokingly that I just find another gay PIMO irl and propose a lavender marriage and it's honestly starting to feel like the only option

I could also say some bullshit that I want to preserve myself for god but I know this would backfired and my dad'll send me to bethel or smth (he already tried to fill the application for me)

I planned to not act on my wants to live until I was settled down away from my parents and could think clearly but now this feels like it'll never happens unless I get married or show my parents I have some kind of spiritual project and it makes me a little sick

Should I just pretend to like some guy, court for a while and find whatever reason to not go through with it? This sounds like too much work and makes me feel gross to imagine

Maybe I sound a bit mental but all this discussion about marriage is low-key messing with my head and making me go crazy

Sorry for the rant

hi yall. 28F here, hard faded June 2024. I quietly left because i’m gay and dating another woman.

I’ve had intermittent contact with my mom, and we’ve been talking more lately. She seems okay with it because i’m just inactive. She told the elders on me back in October 2024 when she forced me out of the closet and found out about my partner. No one ever contacted me. My mom has asked on many occasions if anyone has yet contacted me. (PS. The answer is still no.)

She brought it up this week when we were laying on the beach, again I said no. She went home and called one of the elders to ask them why. Apparently, they are unanimously understanding that I wrote in a DA letter. My mom immediately called me to confront me with zero warning the next morning. I told her I didn’t do that, and she said she is going to contact them to get proof of the letter, because she “knows my handwriting to confirm if it was me or not.” I said “even if you do that, and its clarified that I didn’t write anything, I still don’t want them to call me right now”.

I wondered if my best friend out of state who went behind my back to get my hall’s elders information had written something in when I wasn’t honest with her.

Very strange circumstance, and very boundary crossing for my mom to be so desperate about the elders calling me. It’s been 2 years!

I want friends that will understand me and will actually stay with me good and bad and not just bc I don’t wana serve Jehovah they will cut all contact.
I want to feel free of these culty behaviors and just have my own life but it’s so fucking hard cuz I just turned 18 I don’t have anywhere to go and my parents and all family is Jw and all my “friends” too. I have nowhere to go… please anyone who wants to be my friend to finally find a safe place with a new friend I’m here pls …

I don't think I'll make it through another pandemic at home. A long distance relationship is going to turn into a forever distance, because I'm going to be stuck at home. I'm actually just thinking of killing myself because I cannot deal with this shit again.

I have always known that at some point I would leave the organization, but I never thought it would happen this soon.

Like many of you, I had doubts, but I was terrified of them. I still remember feeling unsure during my baptism at 18. Instead of feeling peace, I felt dread that if I was ever honest about who I was, I would lose my family and disappoint everyone around me.

I’m 21 now, and two days ago I came out to my parents. For the first time in my life, I felt honest instead of hidden.

I don’t hate God. I still believe in Jehovah and Jesus Christ deeply. What I no longer feel connected to is the organization itself. My relationship with God feels personal now, and I don’t want to live in fear anymore.

I’m not leaving because I want to go be reckless or “worldly.” I spent years suppressing myself to keep peace with my family and congregation, but it destroyed my mental health and left me feeling empty inside.

The reason I’m posting is because I have a meeting with the elders very soon, and honestly, I’m terrified. I don’t even know where to begin or how to explain myself without sounding hateful or rebellious, because that’s not what this is.

If anyone here has gone through something similar, I would genuinely appreciate advice on how to approach the conversation and emotionally prepare myself for whatever comes next.

My thesis is that God the Father sent the Son of God into this world at the incarnation. I say this as many modalists, who today are known as Apostolics or Oneness Pentecostals, will instead claim that God the Father came into this world and that the Son of God was created in Mary's womb and was then indwelt by the incarnate Father. If any modalists are reading this, may I ask them to please explain:

1. 1st John 3:8 "the Son of God was manifested"
2. 1st John 4:9 and 14: Where God the Father sent his SON INTO this world.
3. Isaiah 9:6: States that the "Son is given" it does not state that the Father was given. The hebrew "Everlasting Father" or "Father of Eternity" does not mean God the Father, as nobody in church history in either Christianity or Judaism who is educated has ever claimed that. It just means that the Son who is given is either the author or the possessor of eternity (because he made it - this world) or more likely both.
4. 1st Timothy 3:16 in the KJV is an obvious mistranslation, even though the world Father is missing from this verse, Apostolics will misreading this verse as: "God the Father was manifested in the flesh."
5. The speaker at John 5:18 is the Son of Man, who is identified as such at John 8:28. Well at John 5:18 we read that: "The Father who sent me bears witness of me."

I will try to respond to comments, but if anyone is interested, I can also speak on microphone in zoom, skype, whataspp, messenger or discord: however do record all verbal discussions. I am on the UK time zone. I am a firm Trinitarian since 1989, when I left the Oneness sect (Bibleway Church) and became a Trinitarian. Robert

So, funny story. I (POMO) was at a family dinner the other night, and someone commented on the fact that there were 5 men and 5 women at the table. And I thought to myself “that’s weird, cos I know that there are 4 couples here tonight, plus 2 single men. So how is it possible that there are 5 men and 5 women?”

I counted everyone round the table and, sure enough, 5 men, 5 women. I couldn’t work out the flaw in my thinking.

Then I realised “oh duh, there is a same-sex couple at the table! How heteronormative of me to assume 4 couples meant 4 men and 4 women.”

That would have been embarrassing enough but the same-sex couple was me and my wife.

Posting in this sub as I believe a lot of my hard-to-break heteronormativity mindset is due to being raised JW, despite being in a relationship for over 4 years and married for 2 of those years.

Made me chuckle and made my wife chuckle when I told her the next day. Glad I didn’t voice my thoughts out loud at the dinner table.

I (29F) have a close friend that I met online several years ago and we’ve met up a few times to go on vacation together. We’re still friends but whenever we’re in person she is very handsy and cuddly etc and last time I didn’t think too much of it especially when she had said she had been seeing someone a few months before this current trip. So now she’s been holding my hand while walking and wanting me to hold onto her and leaning her head on my shoulder, making jokes about engagement rings- stuff like that (we were obviously joking about that but just as an example). So we go to a lesbian bar for her birthday tonight (we’re visiting another country so it’s just us 2) and after a few drinks we’re watching people do karaoke and she brings over this girl to our table and we talk for a few minutes and I look over during the next song and they’re making out. I just feel really stupid for thinking this is more than her just being handsy with friends but I went to the bathroom and cried and we got on the bus a bit later and she kept holding my hand. I played it off by saying I didn’t feel well but it’s such a struggle because I’ve never been in a relationship as an adult and I have no one to talk to it about especially it being a queer related issue (I have a couple friends since leaving jw but I worry we’re not close enough to talk about this with them). So now I’m in another country, feeling like shit and have to be on flights for 8 hours tomorrow before I can lay in my own bed and be sad there at least.

how did you all leave?

There's no way they didn't cast buff hot Jebus on purpose and there's no way you're gonna change my mind. That's all.

I get a lot of eye-rolls and general disdain when I'm talking to people in the local LGBTQ+ community and they find out I'm bisexual, but my partner is a man. I've heard that a few have made comments behind my back. I met my partner before I left the Borg, we were dating when I woke up and he helped me through all of it and encouraged me to explore my sexuality through poly and the local community.

I get it, he's a straight white man. But he's been there for my whole journey and having my sexuality/identity and him seen as something to scoff at just kinda stings. I just want to know if this is how I'll be seen in general...

I don't know if any other trans masc ppl can relate but or have had a similar experience. Im NB and tend to dress a bit masc.

Ive had a lot of older sisters mistaken me as my mothers son instead of daughter. Like they would go "Ah! Es su hijo?" (Is this your son?) And each time it would fly over my mothers head (I don't know if she intentionally denies or genuinely didn't hear them Im a lil sus cuz it happened twice) And she would go "ah yes this is my daughter!" And the older sisters would get awkward like "😅Oh! Your daughter is very pretty-!... "

I dunno. Don't get me wrong. This religion is very transphobic. But I find the older ladies first response to my appearance oddly euphoric. Especially cuz I was feeling very dysphoric those days.

I’m out as queer and it’s been a few years after being DF’d that I’m proud to identify as queer. I really hope to get more involved with the queer community in my area and also be more involved places like this. My first same sex experiences growing up involved CSA with a family member and elder. They are long deceased.

If anyone had something similar I’d love to know I’m not alone. It gets in my head about the trauma that was experienced and gets overwhelming at times.

i am afraid guys idk what is right to do, i am in the hospital rn and as i spoke with my therapist here she saw the short video i made to inform her abt jws rules and some more, she kept saying there is a way out maybe right in front of us we just don't see it , she finds it hard to believe we are so rigid and we have a very straight narrow mindset and said my parents reaction might depend cuz of eachs country traditions and like way of thought, trying to say if we talk with my parents and find a middle ground and say "i no longer believe" and mom "still believes but does not accept my choice" she believe we can meet in the middle not do anything about it, i told her it would not be like that, she would contact the elders, if i would want to stay home i would have to study and act like i am just "spiritually weak" and she said that would be ok cuz i could use that time to find a job or whatever and idk... she does not get it

she wants me to tell the psychiatrist about jw and my identity struggles or her to tell her...

guys idk, i already thought to put a stop to it all since before getting hospitalized, i have been treated like more than human in this hospital and i would leave for nothing but once i do... i think it will be over for me

idk she does not get it that i see NOTHING for me or in the future after i get out, it's all black...

i will tell her to tell the psychiatrist if i end up on the streets or idk, it is what it is at this point ✌️

Hey all. I wanted to post a bit of my background in hopes I find folks with similar experiences. I recently became POMO and have begun to deconstruct with a therapist. Through this deconstruction, I have finally accepted that I am gay. The problem? I am married to a PIMI woman. Besides my recent exit from the org, our marriage has been amazing. I am also out to her as bi, which she accepted fully as she is also bi.

This is where I’m beginning to feel lost and confused. She has goals that she wants to attain that she never can now that I’m not a jw, and I have so many issues with the org that it’s hard to watch her continue to submit to their teachings, even after everything I’ve shared with her. On the other hand, she’s my best friend in every aspect, and I can’t imagine not having her in my life in some capacity.

I just want us to be happy, but I feel like there is no path forward currently that will lead to both of us being truly happy, sustainable marriage. She’s been very hesitant to couples therapy the few times I’ve mentioned it, so I’m not sure what else to do.

I’ve checked out a few resources such as Husbands Out to Wives and Gamma, but all of their meet ups fall on times that my wife and I are both home (non-meeting nights), so I haven’t been able to access them.

Has anyone gone through (or currently going through) something similar? Are you still married to your spouse in a happy, sustainable marriage? Or does it inevitably end, either amicably or not?

heya, i'm 19, baptized for 8 years now (ik worse decision of my life) i'm posting this here bcs my big sister said there was a bunch of 'people like me' here aka young jw that aren't able/ready to leave the organisation yet.

i'm feeling kinda lonely bcs as understanding as my 'wordly' friends are they can't 100% understand me and am just tryna find people who live the same thing as me yk?

I don't really know how reddit works lol but is anyone is a nerdy young queer adult, wanna chat?

They told me my heart was treacherous.

That I couldn’t trust it.
That it would mislead me.
That if I followed it… I would lose everything.

So I learned to silence it.
To question every feeling.
To override the quiet voice inside me that said,
“Something isn’t right.”

And for a long time… I believed them.

I believed that my confusion meant I was weak.
That my questions meant I was drifting.
That my pain was a sign I needed to try harder… not listen deeper.

But here’s what I know now:

My heart was never the problem.

It was the part of me that noticed.
The part that felt the disconnect.
The part that refused to fully settle into something that didn’t feel true.

They called it treacherous.
But it was honest.

They told me not to trust it.
But it was the only thing that didn’t lie to me.

And the moment I finally listened…
everything started to change.

So if you’re sitting there, wondering if you can trust yourself…

This is your reminder:

Your heart is not dangerous.
It’s not broken.
And it’s not leading you astray.

It might just be the most trustworthy thing you have.🫶🏻

I’m 22 bisexual trans I haven’t transitioned and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to for my family’s sake they are extremely extremely homophobic/transphobic and are still Jw’s I’m Pomo been Pomo for 5 years but for the longest time I’ve hated myself for being attracted to men and for feeling so uncomfortable in my own skin I constantly internally argue with myself about why I can’t just feel comfortable and happy in body and being with who I want to be with I love my family and I don’t owe them anything and I know I deserve to be happy but I’m to afraid and to ashamed to come out and I don’t wanna lose them and I know I will if I do

Has anyone else gone through this and struggled with these feelings?

Hey , I don’t know whether I just need to vent or whether I’m at the end of my tether or whether I just want to tell someone who ‘gets ‘ it and won’t judge !

I’m gay , and have always struggled with feelings of ‘I’m the only one . ( if any one wants to dm me to connect , feel free ) I have cerebral palsy , born in and lived the jw life fully when I was young but i never felt accepted by my peer group . I was baptised at the age of 18 and just after that my mum , who is bipolar left us to marry the COBE (who also baptised me). So my dad was left with me and a younger brother . He has raised us excellently. My brother faded when he was 17 and sadly ended his life at the beginning of covid at the age of 27 which has been incredibly hard to cope with . Then my mum got diagnosed with dementia . Through all of this we have had virtually no support from the congregation (only for a time when we have a huge problem , then it drifts)

I was a regular pioneer for 13 years , and an elder for two years until 6 months ago when my health would no longer allow it . My dad is elderly now and we can no longer attend in person meetings and go on ministry . I feel abandoned by my fellow elders and judged by most in the congregation because I can no be longer ‘visible’ .

And to top it off within the last two weeks I’ve been diagnosed as autistic , which explains a lot throughout my whole life . I’ve only told a few this because I don’t want to be treated differently, but even out of the dozen I’ve told , only one checks in regularly. I’ve reached the end of my tether, I just am sick of lack of support, years of judgement and mistreatment from a ‘Christian’ organisation.

update guys, it wasn’t even worth questioning the organization. she does not love me and wants to marry a man and have more children. i have been fooled and if i’m being fooled in the organization, then that is my purpose, to be a fool.