Hey , I don’t know whether I just need to vent or whether I’m at the end of my tether or whether I just want to tell someone who ‘gets ‘ it and won’t judge !
I’m gay , and have always struggled with feelings of ‘I’m the only one . ( if any one wants to dm me to connect , feel free ) I have cerebral palsy , born in and lived the jw life fully when I was young but i never felt accepted by my peer group . I was baptised at the age of 18 and just after that my mum , who is bipolar left us to marry the COBE (who also baptised me). So my dad was left with me and a younger brother . He has raised us excellently. My brother faded when he was 17 and sadly ended his life at the beginning of covid at the age of 27 which has been incredibly hard to cope with . Then my mum got diagnosed with dementia . Through all of this we have had virtually no support from the congregation (only for a time when we have a huge problem , then it drifts)
I was a regular pioneer for 13 years , and an elder for two years until 6 months ago when my health would no longer allow it . My dad is elderly now and we can no longer attend in person meetings and go on ministry . I feel abandoned by my fellow elders and judged by most in the congregation because I can no be longer ‘visible’ .
And to top it off within the last two weeks I’ve been diagnosed as autistic , which explains a lot throughout my whole life . I’ve only told a few this because I don’t want to be treated differently, but even out of the dozen I’ve told , only one checks in regularly. I’ve reached the end of my tether, I just am sick of lack of support, years of judgement and mistreatment from a ‘Christian’ organisation.