i am alone in my uncles apartment away from my abusive dad after i just got discharged from the hospital yesterday, i cried all morning until now, i climbed up the window, i am at 5th floor... it felt all so calm...and i was ready to take the jump...
i almost jumped, no one knows i was about to
idk if i should tell someone even, if i told mom who will come here soon she will be worried sick... but do nothing maybe...
i am afraid guys
i am afraid guys idk what is right to do, i am in the hospital rn and as i spoke with my therapist here she saw the short video i made to inform her abt jws rules and some more, she kept saying there is a way out maybe right in front of us we just don't see it , she finds it hard to believe we are so rigid and we have a very straight narrow mindset and said my parents reaction might depend cuz of eachs country traditions and like way of thought, trying to say if we talk with my parents and find a middle ground and say "i no longer believe" and mom "still believes but does not accept my choice" she believe we can meet in the middle not do anything about it, i told her it would not be like that, she would contact the elders, if i would want to stay home i would have to study and act like i am just "spiritually weak" and she said that would be ok cuz i could use that time to find a job or whatever and idk... she does not get it
she wants me to tell the psychiatrist about jw and my identity struggles or her to tell her...
guys idk, i already thought to put a stop to it all since before getting hospitalized, i have been treated like more than human in this hospital and i would leave for nothing but once i do... i think it will be over for me
idk she does not get it that i see NOTHING for me or in the future after i get out, it's all black...
i will tell her to tell the psychiatrist if i end up on the streets or idk, it is what it is at this point ✌️
i am afraid guys idk what is right to do, i am in the hospital rn and as i spoke with my therapist here she saw the short video i made to inform her abt jws rules and some more, she kept saying there is a way out maybe right in front of us we just don't see it , she finds it hard to believe we are so rigid and we have a very straight narrow mindset and said my parents reaction might depend cuz of eachs country traditions and like way of thought, trying to say if we talk with my parents and find a middle ground and say "i no longer believe" and mom "still believes but does not accept my choice" she believe we can meet in the middle not do anything about it, i told her it would not be like that, she would contact the elders, if i would want to stay home i would have to study and act like i am just "spiritually weak" and she said that would be ok cuz i could use that time to find a job or whatever and idk... she does not get it
she wants me to tell the psychiatrist about jw and my identity struggles or her to tell her...
guys idk, i already thought to put a stop to it all since before getting hospitalized, i have been treated like more than human in this hospital and i would leave for nothing but once i do... i think it will be over for me
idk she does not get it that i see NOTHING for me or in the future after i get out, it's all black...
i will tell her to tell the psychiatrist if i end up on the streets or idk, it is what it is at this point ✌️