If the chemistry, attraction and connection are there, what stops someone from choosing a relationship?
I genuinely need outside perspectives because I’m driving myself insane.
I (25F) was seeing a guy (26M) for a while and the dynamic felt very relationship-like: staying over, cuddling, affectionate moments outside of sex, meeting multiple friend groups (of his), future travel talk, opening up emotionally, good sex, deep conversations, him noticing little things about me and reassuring me when I opened up.
At different points though, he also said things like I wasn’t really his type (even though I’m similar to the kinds of girls he’s dated in the past/ currently follows) / he didn’t see me that way, despite also saying he was a “relationship person”.
Eventually I stepped away because I realised I’d developed real feelings and the ambiguity was hurting me.
What I cannot stop circling is: why?
I understand people can enjoy someone and still not want a relationship, but I’m struggling because it didn’t feel casual at all. This is a guy that drove 14 hours to see me for one night, set up camping trips for the two of us, changed plans with his friends just to travel and see me (without much coaxing from my end).
If you genuinely have chemistry, attraction, emotional intimacy, shared values, great sex and enjoy being around someone, what stops someone from choosing that?
For some context, he’s going overseas for a few months soon. For a while, I thought that might have been the reason - I’d also want to be single for that experience - but if that was the case, he would have just used that as an excuse to”out”, rather than saying he wasn’t interested in me.
I’m not really asking “am I enough?” I think I’m trying to understand whether there are reasons people walk away from things that seem good on paper that aren’t just “they weren’t attracted enough” or “you weren’t good enough.”
So people who’ve turned down someone you genuinely liked: why?