r/adviceph

Problem/Goal: Millions in Debt

Context: Everything is just so heavy right now.

To be honest I am on the v3rge of 3nding 3verything tonight.

I am on my 40s and I failed big time in a business.

I am now in large debt and I’ve been trying my best to fix everything but nothing has worked out. I worked triple. Everyday my mind is thinking and doing ways I know I can. I even tried to sell ebooks but nothing worked out. Nothing.

I know I had wrong decisions and I totally admit that. I failed a lot of people and I broke a lot of trust of friends and families. Everyday that I think of it, it’s like a nightmare.

I trust God yes. I totally trust Him. I am just really tired. I am a disappointment to everyone, to my family and to God. I am very sorry to God that I’ve disappointed Him bigtime.

I just really want to let it out here. And ask for prayers. I do not know what will happ3n tonight. But all I know is I am still praying and hoping for a miracle. I am just really hoping that while I am asking for prayers, please do not judge me. I did not want to fail my business and people around me be affected.

To those who are trying to put up a business. I pray for your success. Sana hnd kayo matulad sken.

Sorry God. Sorry.

Previous Attempts:

Problem/goal: Found my gf in dating app | what should i do?

Context: Ive noticed this dating app on her phone i knew the logo and i knew the sound of its notification kasi ginamit ko din sya before when i was on college. I tried to install it and confirmed shea actively using it kasi nakamatch ko sya, im using dump photos of a cute guy. We chat from time to time even nasa work sya and atm i dont know what to do if i should continue this relationship or should i tell her na ba na im that guy . I really love her and going to 1 yr na kami this coming May. I asked her if shes open for meetup using that account and she said "oo pero di agad agad" which i knew kaunting araw pa ng communication is oo na sya.

Should i break up with her naba? Is this a very red flag ba na di na pwede iforgive? Magbabago kaya sya if ireveal ko na alam ko ang gingawa nya. Any thoughts is highly appreciated.

Problem/Goal: Need advice kung may case ba against a local government official na nag quarry ng family land without consent, and if yung 30ksettlement offer is fair.

Context: May local official sa Central Luzon na nakakuha ng quarrying permit and has been actively quarrying a family owned land na roughly 35,000 sqm without ever notifying or getting consent from the landowners. Around half na nung land yung nai-quarry and mga 3-3.5 meters deep. Offered 30k total for all the landowners combined. Majority ng owners gusto na tanggapin kasi they think the land is worthless since its not arable, hindi nila narealize na may value yung quarry material. Isa lang yung ayaw pero takot sa retaliation given the connections of the official. Land taxes may have been inconsistent partly due to Pinatubo displacement. May evidences ng ongoing quarrying

Previous Attempts: Triny iexplain sa mga elderly owner yung estimated value ng extracted material na roughly ₱18M-₱31M

Problem/Goal: My 10-year old daughter told us she is non-binary and aro/ace (aromantic/asexual)

I always thought I was on the more liberal and accepting side. As a new dad back then, I told myself that I would raise her to be strong, welcoming of all backgrounds/beliefs/preferences. I would be accepting and supportive of her choices, as long as they are made with sincerity and guidance from us. I believed that we just needed to give her the tools, and then she would be ready to face any challenge no matter who she would turn out to be and we would be ready to accept her no matter who she is later on.

But now that I am faced with the actual situation … it’s so much harder to face it in reality than evaluating hypotheticals. She’s 10. She’s my baby. I watched her grow. I read to her and beamed with pride when I see how far she has come. I saw how her interests changed from Little Baby Bum to My Little Pony to Mario to Catch Teenieping to Undertale and anime/cosplay. She has always been my little girl, and she never showed any indication in her younger years that she was anything other than a girl (maybe a little mischievous and excited, but still a girl). And now - without any warning - she told us that she is they/them, non-binary and aromantic/asexual. And I ask for understanding from our LGBTQ friends, because now I can see why a parent’s first instinct might be to deny, dismiss, or suppress their feelings. Pardon me for still using feminine pronouns in this post, because as of now, this is still how I see her. Pardon me for the thought soup that follows. These are random thoughts running through my head with no filter:

• (to myself) “It’s much too soon! She’s just 10 and she was just into cartoons, sparkly stuff, Disney princesses just a few years ago. Where did she even learn about NB people?”
• (to myself) “She’s not attracted to anyone, male or female? Isn’t that normal for kids? Hell, when I was 10 I wasn’t attracted to girls (or boys, for that matter) either. Does that mean I was aro-ace as well?”
• (thought directed towards her) “Kaka-Youtube at Roblox mo yan eh. Why are you talking to people older than you/watching videos of content creators much older than you? They are in a different stage of their life.”
• (thought directed towards her) “Let’s table this discussion for now because you don’t have enough life experience yet. You go to an all-girls school, and you have never interacted with a gender-heterogenous group. Wait until you go to high school and interact with more people - boys, girls, and everything else. When you’re 15 or 16, and you still feel this way, we can have another conversation about your gender identity.”

I am painfully aware of the struggles of our LGBTQ friends. Not firsthand, but I know of enough stories of non-acceptance, of struggles with families of origin. And we always blame the parents. But now, I can see the other side of the coin. As parents, we want to show our unconditional love and support. But part of that is equipping our children to listen to the right voices - a full-formed version of themselves who ALREADY knows who they truly are, not a child still learning about the world. Who might not necessarily be what us parents want for them, but also not parroting random voices on the internet that might be influencing them externally. How do we know if these are her real feelings and not childish whims? How can we help her discern between these? Like I mentioned above, I would have less qualms about this if she were a bit older, or if there were prior indications about her feelings.

I hope that you don’t judge my thoughts and the other contents of this post.

Problem/Goal: I want to meet new people and make lasting friendships, but I don't know where to start 🥹

Context: Outgrowing some friendships, and most of my current friends are busy to meet more than once every couple of months. So ngayon work bahay na lang talaga ako and I don't want that! Tanggap ko na na I have to put in the effort to make new relationships in my mid to late 20s dahil konti lang nakakahalubilo ko on a daily basis.

Feel ko sobrang hopeless na parang tapos na ang prime years ko to make new friends, but something in me doesn't wanna give up yet.

Previous Attempts: Posted on the r4friends sub to find people to hang out with, may nakilala naman ako doon na I hung out with once, pero never na naulit, mostly because of conflicting scheds

I'd try sa office namin pero sobrang konti lang namin. I get along with everyone generally well pero wala talagang prospect maging tropa.

Also trying apps like Nomad Table and Reclub pero ang hirap bumwelo.

If may gusto mag advice (or mag invite jk) it'll be appreciated! 🙏🏼

Problem/Goal:

Starting to resent my husband after only 6 months of marriage, how do I stop this feeling?

Context:

I’m starting to resent my husband, and we’ve only been married for 6 months. I don’t like feeling this way, and I want to fix it before it gets worse.

For context, we’re both working in IT. He’s in DevOps, and I work in IT helpdesk. We don’t have kids.

Recently, we were talking about going abroad. He kept ranting about how difficult it is to migrate and kept asking me how we should start. I suggested applying through job platforms that offer visa sponsorship.

Later, he asked if I would follow him, which confused me. When I asked what he meant, he clarified if I’m also actively doing something to migrate.

I told him yes, but I still need certifications since I lack experience and feel underqualified. Then he started asking me for specific steps I’m taking.

I explained that I’m currently waiting for approval from my company to sponsor my certification, and after that, he didn’t say anything.

Honestly, I felt offended. It feels like whenever he wants to do something, he expects me to match his pace or level up immediately. I am trying, but I also have a lot on my plate.

I handle most of the housework cooking, cleaning, and basically everything at home while also working full-time. He helps sometimes, but I’m the default person responsible for the house.

Financially, we used to split bills 50/50, even though he earns 3x more than I do and is also paying for his own car (which he got before we were married). When he noticed I was struggling, we adjusted it to 40/60.

Another issue is communication. I find it difficult to talk to him about these things because he often gets mad when I bring them up. It feels like he thinks he’s always right, and when I try to open up, he takes it as a personal attack on his character rather than understanding where I’m coming from.

I also feel like he resents me financially because I don’t contribute to his car. He often brings up how his brother and his wife bought a car together and split the payments.

I’ve told him that he bought his car without consulting me, so it’s really his car, not ours. I don’t even drive it. I also told him that if we were to buy a car together, I wouldn’t have chosen something that expensive. He bought a Ford Ranger because he liked it, without really considering how expensive it is, including the fuel costs.

Also, when it comes to going abroad, he doesn’t seem to have a clear plan himself and keeps asking me what to do.

I don’t want to resent him, but I can feel it building up. I’m not in a place where I want to leave the marriage.

How do I deal with this feeling before it gets worse?

Previous attempts: none

Problem/Goal: My girlfriend's family is chaotic and it really bothers me for our future.

Context:

Long story ahead, Please bear with me .

Hello. I'm 27(M), I have a girlfriend and mag 4 years na kami this July. Na meet na din niya parents ko and almost all of my relatives and she's very happy. Kabaliktaran sakin nung na meet ko ang parents/family niya and is REALLY A CHAOS. To summarize it all, first nagloko ang papa niya. Nag asawa ng iba at nagkanak na din, pero parang okay lang sa kanila to the point na bumibisita ang papa niya pag may events sa kanila bitbit yung bago niyang asawa at anak. Imagine nasa iisang bahay sila. Pangalawa, yung kuya niya is alcoholic at physically abusive sa partner niya. Pangatlo, yung mama niya is palaging may problema pag dating sa pera na laging nanghihingi sa partner ko at pag hindi na bigyan umaabot sa point na parang tinatakwil siya (hindi kinakausap, pinapansin, sinisiraan sa iba). Same with her father na may problema din sa pera at nanghihingi sa kanya pang support siguro sa bago niyang family like WTF pagtapos mo kami iwanan hihingi ka ng supporta samin? Tumatanda na din kasi ako and Im planning for my future, But it really bothers me na magkakaroon ako gantong in laws/extended family. Di ko din alam kung bakit ngayon lang sa akin nag sink-in ito noong nagkwento ako sa parents ko and tumatak sakin yung words nila na "mukhang magkakaroon ka ng problema sa family niya"

Previous Attempts : None

Problem/Goal: I am currently dating someone I met on a dating app. So far it has been going great and she is amazing! We've gone on 3 face to face dates already and I really like her a lot. But when we got to talk about our family background, it got me thinking hard and I am no longer sure if I want to continue seeing her.

Context: I learned that she came from a big family. But not from a loving or stable one. From what I can gather, there seems to be a history of violence between her siblings and father, and lots of alcoholism. And apparently, other family members outside the immediate family may even be connected to crime.

I come from a very loving and stable family. It is not perfect, but it is far from what the person I am dating has experienced. I have this philosophy in life that I marry the family of the person I am marrying. I envision a life where my partner and I can freely visit each other's family.

I also learned that she has a pattern of sending money to her siblings or mother even when she can't provide for herself (I've done my best to help out but we are not yet in an committed relationship so I can't and won't give my all). If I was her friend, I would see this trait as something that is very admirable and honorable. But as her potential romantic partner, I find this as a huge risk. This is because I am an entrepreneur. I plan and dream to establish lots of businesses in the future. But I am also an overthinker, what if our money suddenly vanishes?

My heart is telling me to understand her situation but my brain is telling me that she is not a logical choice. I know that not everyone is lucky enough to be born from a happy family. I know that there is nothing she can do to fix her history. This is why I feel so conflicted. I feel like I'm not empathetic. I feel like I'm selfish. I feel like I'm so insensitive. I feel like I'm not man enough to be a provider. For additional context, I am still in my building stage. I am working on a startup. I took this risk because I believe that this will be successful in time.

I have already asked some friends and they all told me that ending things between us is perfectly reasonable. But the caveat is I shouldn't tell her that the primary reason is her family background because this is something she can't change. But, I like and want to be transparent. I would feel really guilty if I don't tell her why I am ending things between us.

I just want to ask if what I'm feeling is reasonable. We are still talking and dating right now. It's just that my brain is telling me that I should move on.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

Problem/Goal: The agent from the mall where I applied my EW CC emailed me.

I applied for an EW CC sa mall last year and siyempre napasa 'to sa ibang bank din (I know, it's my fault and I've dealt it smoothly with the other bank naman).

Context:

Now, sa EastWest.

Last year, na approve yung CC application ko sa EW pero pina cancel ko rin for personal reasons. Fast forward March 2026, I received an email from EW na approved daw CC application ko pero hindi ako nag apply sa kahit anong mall or agency or kahit sa bank ng CC. Aantayin ko lang sana na dumating yung card para icancel ko pero I received an email from them na failed delivery. So I emailed the bank to cancel the card and erase my personal data. I CC'ed the NPC and BSP para mapansin nila since hindi maganda experience ko from their CS last year.

They replied naman and they endorsed na ipa-cancel yung card. They asked for my number and found out na maling number yung na register sa system nila and di daw nila ako matawagan kasi yung number na nasa system lang nila ang pwede nilang tawagan. So tinanong ko kung bakit hindi pwede e na confirm ko na number ko sa kanila since tinanong nila and I also asked for a follow up regarding the erasure of my personal data or steps lang to avoid future situation gaya ng sakin.

Tapos I just received an email from the agent na inapplyan ko last year and EastWest bank agent pala daw siya and he's asking me to email or call him.

What is the right thing to do po do I confirm this with EW, ignore the agent, or talk with the agent? Kasi ang gusto kong gawin is to communicate with the bank na lang kasi he's using his personal gmail and hindi naka cc ang EW sa email niya so baka di alam ng bank? I don't know, I just want to be done with this.

Previous Attempts: none

Problem/Goal: Bukod po sa barangay, saan pa kaya pwedeng mag-report tungkol sa aso ng kapitbahay?

For more context, I’m currently renting, and the first thing I noticed is sobrang ingay nung aso ng kapitbahay. Ang pinaka-worst scenario pa is yung poop ng dog ay nasa hagdan kung saan kami dumadaan pababa.

Ilang beses ko na itong nireklamo sa landlord ko, pero sabi niya ilang beses na raw itong na-report sa barangay. Ang problema daw, malakas yung kapit ng may-ari kaya hindi naaalis.

I’m also a pet lover, kaya naaawa rin ako sa lagay nung dog kasi nasa labas lang siya at nakatali most of the time. Please help. Thank you!

Problem/Goal: mapa minor or major inconvenience na na eexperience ng partner ko talagang grabe siya magalit or mag tantrums. Goal ko lang is paano ko siya magahandle or icocomfort during those moments

Context: May partner for 3 years, kung gano siya ka grabe maging malambing on a normal days, ganun din ka grabe amg tantrums/anger issues niya sa mga invonvenience na na eexperience niya. Never naman niya ako sinigawan or sinaktan, more on rants lang and tatnrums siya. Kahit na minsan mga solution lang naman ay very simple

Previous attempts: I tried to comfort him or offer him some solutions pero parang during those moments ayaw talaga niya makinig, so i just let him be nalang.

Problem/Goal:

I am planning to move and leave everything behind. Gusto ko ng new environment kung saan walang nakakakilala sa'kin. Can you suggest a good place here in ph? Low cost of living and peaceful sana.

And ano kayang madaling pasukan na work? Hindi ko natapos ang college dahil kinailangan kong mag-stop and siguro mahihirapan akong makahanap ng work. Kaya kung may masusuggest kayo, sabihin niyo please. May konting ipon naman ako pero siguro sapat lang pang-start, pambayad ng rent and ilang days na food.

Problem/Goal: Nakakadrain yung everyday problema nila ay guys?? Like araw araw inooverthink nila anong ginagawa ng mga guys sa buhay nila? Grabee nakakadrain. Di mo naman maiwasan since okay naman sila as a friend but draining lang yung part na palagi na lang sa lalaki umiikot yung life nila?

Previous Attempt: Tried telling them to find hobbies para hindi lang sa guys umiikot buhay nila, sagutin ba naman ako ng “di ko kailangan ng bagong hobby, kailangan ko new guy” ?? Draining, kaya pag inaaya ako di na lang ako sumasama. Lagi na lang lalaki topic??

Problem/Goal: I have limited options and time for picking a good shs here in Cabanatuan city/Nueva Ecija

Hi 15M here, incoming shs student (STEM/ACADEMIC) . Currently living in Cabanatuan city, nueva Ecija. Though there are plenty of state universities around, they don't allow transferees like NEUST and CLSU.

As of now, I heard Gallego's pretty good. But there's also WUP (Wesleyan University of the Philippines) and Aurollo. Sadly, I don't have enough connections to ask around, so if u guys have any suggestions on good schools, with quality ed pls suggest po..Ayokong maperahan ng mga private schools para lang sa wala. I've heard some rumors about how some teachers don't teach and all...TYSM PO!!

Problem/Goal: Sold the ancestral home my family has been living in, and I want to be financially responsible for my money.

Just like the title says, I'll be receiving money but I don't know how to let it grow. I have no savings, since I was the breadwinner of the family until now.

since I'll be losing my home, I have to find a place to live, and if may natira, I want to know what worked for you guys. I want my money to work for me, lalo na ngayon since sobrang hirap ng economy.

any advice on where to move, and how to be financially responsible would be nice. Thank you!

Problem/Goal:How do I tell my long term bf that I do not want to arry if we are gonna live with his mom? This is my first post here in reddit. Di ko lang kasi alam talaga how to approach this. I am F (28) and my bf and I are together since 2017. We met in college and honestly, have a pretty stable relationship. Not much away aside from slight tampuhan, we try to communicate as much as we can. He’s the bunso and his 2 siblings have 1) her own family living 1 hr away and 2) working abroad. As the only boy, he’s the only one na naasahan ng mom niya. His mom is a senior citizen, almost always need sunduin, always need ng kasama, and as a matriarch, she got used on deciding for her family. His dad died ~6 years ago. Tita is caring, mabait, but strict. Tipong kahit mag 30 na sya, tatawag parin kapag late na sya uuwi (which I actually understand since they are living together sa same house). Now I think we are starting to talk about marriage, even teasing about rings. We had our first conversation Nov 2024 when I asked him to talk to Tita about our living situation if ever ikasal kami. We talked again Jan 2026 and I honestly told him na he needs to sort this out before any proposal. I also said baka we can have a place close to her para we can visit but never sya yung magsusuprise visit saamin. Minsan lang I feel like ako yung iniintay nya (which totoo naman before siguro a year ago lang talaga ako naging ready for it) but now, siya talaga yung iniintay ko. However, based from what I’m seeing parang walang progress so minsan napapaisip ako if baka iniintay niya na lang ba ako magsabi na “okay na pala” kahit we live with his mom. But for me, sobrang hindi ko ata kaya. Right now I’ve been living separately sa parents ko parang almost 3 years na aside from the time I went to college. I really do not know how to proceed without crying kasi natatakot ako na if I put my foot down, it’s gonna be the end (anxiety hello). I love him and I definitely do not want to break up but I honestly don’t know if I’ll be happy if I live with his mom. I want my own home my own peace my own decsion and build our family na kami, not walking on eggshells like I always do with my family. How do I proceed? How do I tell him na baka this is my non-negotiable talaga? Ang selfish ko ba?What other compromise kaya?

Problem/Goal:

Hi! So me (22F) and my boyfriend (22M) have been planning to stay at a hotel for a couple of hours lang before next class kasi mahaba po vacant. Nasawa na kasi kami sa puro tambay sa mall and wala na uli kaming alone time kaya talagang habang tumatagal nagiging problem na din yung intimacy kasi nga medyo mahiyain din ako sa public, pero hindi naman sa hindi ako showy, talagang iniisip ko lang yung iisipin ng iba which is mali ko na rin since adults na kami. Pero malambing po ako sa partner ko, sadyang di lang ako masyadong ma-PDA talaga :(. We got together nung teenagers pa kami so before talagang behave dapat pero since adults na kami now, medyo may freedom na

For context, matagal na po kami ng partner ko, 6 yrs na and legal on both sides. Recently, my partner and I discussed yung mga nag-lack sa rs namin and gusto naming maayos sya agad para both mag benefit at hindi maging one-sided. He thought why not try and spend time lang kahit saglit sa hotel to unwind and talk na din

In my part, okay lang sakin pero kinakabahan and ino-overthink ko talaga yung iisipin ng front desk/receptionist since it's our first time + mukhang bata din po kasi ako since im 5 ft flat and sya matangkad. I just want to know, especially sa mga natry na din mag hotel/motel na kasing age ko or anyone kung ano po mga exp nyo and can you give us some advice? like what do we need pag pasok? what to expect? anything that can help ease itong pag-ovethink ko huhu. Thank you in advance!

Problem/Goal: I feel so lost right now. Hindi ko alam saan magsisimula kasi hindi ko rin alam kung ano ba talaga gusto ko or saan ako magtatagal.

Context: Hi, I’m 23F, IT graduate. Nag call center ako pero nag resign dahil sobrang mentally draining. Ngayon, nawalan na ako ng passion sa IT at hindi ko alam anong work gusto ko.

Breadwinner ako so priority ko mataas na sahod, kaya naiisip ko mag factory worker sa Taiwan—repetitive work, and makaipon agad ako since hindi ako magastos.

Honestly, lost ako. Gusto ko lang makaipon para sa bahay ng parents ko, then okay na ako sa simple life. A simple house and lot lang dito sa province for my parents, then I can enjoy life na.

Previous attempts: Wala pa. Sobrang lost lang talaga. Thank you po!

Problem/Goal: Bigla nalang siya nag bago, should I be worried?

Context: 3 years engaged na kami nang fiancé (F) ko and we are planning to get married pero can't get married since ang dami pang utang so we can't really afford it. In the past 3 years we are good naman, communication, s*x, and going out kahit madalas wala kaming pera.

Also We are both working, she is working 2 jobs, I also have a job, and lahat nang sahod ko ever since sakaniya napupunta. I have noticed this changes in the past few months siguro mga 3 or 4 months na parang wala na siyang gana saakin, kapag mag kasama kami lagi nalang siyang galit, simpleng bagay lumalaki, and recently natatakot na tlaga ako kasi siya na nag iinitiate nang hiwalayan, everytime na nag aaya ako nang s*x parang diring diri siya saakin, and minsan kahit hawakan ko siya is iniiwas nyo sarili nya, nakaka down lang pag ka lalake. We haven't have sex for almost 3 months na, and prior to that it took atleast 5 months bago kami s*x.

Previous Attempts: I have tried asking her about what's going on if may problema ba or what so we can talk about it, and sabi niya wala naman daw and everything is all goods, but I am sensing differently, I know and I can feel that there is something wrong. Di ko lang ma pinpoint if nag sisi naba siya na nag "Yes" siya saakin before when I asked her to marry me.

Sometimes I am questioning myself if Am I enough for her? or is everything I do for her is enough.

P.S. Sorry not really good at writing.

Problem/Goal:

Gusto ko makahanap ng nice guy na matino kausap, hindi yung puro green topics o meaningless na usapan.

Context:

28F, hindi ako madalas makipagusap sa mga tao. Pero kapag may kausap, madalas nauuwi lang sa nonsense o green topics. Nakaka-frustrate at nakaka-drain.

Tried casual chatting at pagiging open sa conversations, pero same pattern lagi. Wala pa akong explore sa ibang platforms or places, kaya di ko sure kung dapat magbago ng approach.