Can you really live with your MIL?
Problem/Goal:How do I tell my long term bf that I do not want to arry if we are gonna live with his mom? This is my first post here in reddit. Di ko lang kasi alam talaga how to approach this. I am F (28) and my bf and I are together since 2017. We met in college and honestly, have a pretty stable relationship. Not much away aside from slight tampuhan, we try to communicate as much as we can. He’s the bunso and his 2 siblings have 1) her own family living 1 hr away and 2) working abroad. As the only boy, he’s the only one na naasahan ng mom niya. His mom is a senior citizen, almost always need sunduin, always need ng kasama, and as a matriarch, she got used on deciding for her family. His dad died ~6 years ago. Tita is caring, mabait, but strict. Tipong kahit mag 30 na sya, tatawag parin kapag late na sya uuwi (which I actually understand since they are living together sa same house). Now I think we are starting to talk about marriage, even teasing about rings. We had our first conversation Nov 2024 when I asked him to talk to Tita about our living situation if ever ikasal kami. We talked again Jan 2026 and I honestly told him na he needs to sort this out before any proposal. I also said baka we can have a place close to her para we can visit but never sya yung magsusuprise visit saamin. Minsan lang I feel like ako yung iniintay nya (which totoo naman before siguro a year ago lang talaga ako naging ready for it) but now, siya talaga yung iniintay ko. However, based from what I’m seeing parang walang progress so minsan napapaisip ako if baka iniintay niya na lang ba ako magsabi na “okay na pala” kahit we live with his mom. But for me, sobrang hindi ko ata kaya. Right now I’ve been living separately sa parents ko parang almost 3 years na aside from the time I went to college. I really do not know how to proceed without crying kasi natatakot ako na if I put my foot down, it’s gonna be the end (anxiety hello). I love him and I definitely do not want to break up but I honestly don’t know if I’ll be happy if I live with his mom. I want my own home my own peace my own decsion and build our family na kami, not walking on eggshells like I always do with my family. How do I proceed? How do I tell him na baka this is my non-negotiable talaga? Ang selfish ko ba?What other compromise kaya?