r/ToxicFriends

Ok, so I'm going through a very difficult process lately, I've been thinking about terminating a very long lasting friendship with my best friend of 10 years. So basically, back in 2016 or something, I met a girl about my age when I was 7 and I really related to her in many aspects, she seemed to be very timid and an outcast by everyone else in the class (which was the same situation I was in) and she was very nice and respectful. We eventually got very close to the point where we became known as an "inseparable duo" and we basically did everything together. After the lock down in 2020 I started seeing some gradual changes, she became more mature obviously, but she also seemed to subscribe to some very right leaning views on social aspects, I didn't really pay much attention to it since i live in a very right leaning region and I just assumed it was thanks to parental influence or some shit, a couple years past and she became a full blown fanatic politically, she's extremely homophobic and transphobic, she constantly tries to remind me that she "respects gay people but doesn't support them" but I always see her mocking people in same sex relationships and people who transitioned. Even going as far as supporting what Charlie kirk said about trans people. I renember telling her I was an atheist back in 2022 or some shit and she got angry at me and told me that I had to believe in god or something, so I basically had to pretend I magically "became a Christian again" just to appease her because I got scared that'll I'll be rejected by her. Her arguments about her God are fallacious and wacky at best, like the fine tuning argument and creationist arguments, but I have to put on a farce and pretend to agree with her because I struggle with defending my point of view (I have difficult with speech) and she isn't very tolerant of differing opinions. Aside from her religious bullshitery she also believes that the moon landing is fake, that aliens created the pyramids, and that "great flood" happened because humans were breeding with other magical creatures or some insane bullshit. Again, it's impossible to argue with her or to convince her otherwise. She's an extremely toxic person, she talks poorly of people to me behind their backs and makes jokes in my expense and has already told me that if I ever became a "leftist" ie. Communist she'll no longer be my friend. It angers me greatly especially since she's my childhood friend and the only friend I actually have contact with. My other friend I have is extremely socially anxious and never leaves her house, and my toxic friend constantly talks poorly of her to me because she's a pansexual or something. I genuinely cannot take this anymore, I know she's my friend but it gets to a point where this relationship damages me psychologically, so I'm thinking about terminating our friendship this year. I need some advice.

Edit: I forgot to mention that I'll be off to uni next year, I'm planning on delaying my "breakup" to December because it'll be really awkward if I do it in the middle of the year because we have to see eachother everyday and shit. I plan on typing an essay to her when I do so though, I want her to see who I really am and what I think of her.

A few weeks ago, I (24F) went out with my close friend, we’ll call him Mark, and his boyfriend, both (26F). While we were out we met someone new who seemed cool at first (25M), we’ll call them Jim. We all exchanged socials and started texting and about two weeks later we hung out with them again in more of a friend group setting. During the hangout, Jim, who is white btw, said the n-word.

I immediately felt uncomfortable, but also stuck because Mark drove us and I couldn’t even Uber bc my keys were in his apt. I told Mark I was uncomfortable and that I didn’t want to continue the night, but instead of saying anything or leaving, he brushed it off and encouraged us to keep hanging out with Jim the rest of the night. When I got home, I blocked Jim because I just didn’t want any type of relationship with him. Apparently I forgot to block him on TikTok though, because later Jim messaged me there trying to justify why it was “okay” for him to say the n-word because of “how he grew up.”

I never even responded to him. In that same message, Jim started insulting me, cursing at me, and generally going off on me, so I blocked them there too. What honestly hurt me the most was my friend’s reaction to all of this. Mark continued staying friends with this person after they not only said the n-word, but then doubled down and started insulting me over it. When I tried explaining why I was upset, he told me things like “it’s between you and them, not me” and “if you were so bothered by him texting you then maybe you should’ve stood up for yourself”.

Now, why would I want to stand up for myself to a person I want no relationship with whatsoever and have no respect for? I just didn’t expect one of my close friends to basically defend the situation or act like it had nothing to do with him when he was the one who brought this person around in the first place. Now things between us are awkward, for obvious reasons, and part of me wonders if I’m overreacting or expecting too much from a friend. But another part of me feels like this is a completely reasonable boundary and that I shouldn’t have to tolerate behavior like that just to keep the peace. Should I even stay friends with my friend or leave the friendship because of this? AITA?

I’ve mostly made up my mind about this but I think it’d be nice to gain some perspective on whether i should send it or not. I ended a friendship last year, we weren’t close but i felt it had to end. I don’t really care about what she’ll think of me after sending this message and I also don’t care for a response. It’s just for cathartic reasons. ok here’s the message:

hey (friend’s name), i hope you’re well.

it’s been a while and id be lying if i said that this message isn’t for myself to know that i at least let my feelings out there no matter the response or lack thereof.

i realised i wasn’t fully honest about my feelings last year for the sake of keeping things smooth but i felt that whenever i tried to express a grievance i was immediately made to feel invalidated or met with conditional apologies or the conversation would subtly shift to your feelings. it felt more like a way to end the conflict (as you had even stated in one of your vn’s to me that you didn’t agree with how i was feeling but just apologised to avoid going back and forth) rather than a genuine attempt to hear where i was coming from. looking back it made me grow resentful and apathetic towards you and i had no desire to make plans.

i do also think there were things that could’ve been done better on my side towards the end of the friendship. this doesn’t change what i said in our last meet up, but i guess this gives more context as to why i felt an ‘emotional wall’. i wish you the best moving forward

(I'm a 15F, my friend is two years younger)

So, one time I woke up from a nap one day and I saw that I got tagged In a discord server

I thought it was my friend who tagged me, so I asked her if she tagged me

I asked her 2 times (I responded to a message and tagged her once if I remember correctly), and then a random guy who's 19M and claims my friend as his littler sister, replies to me saying in French "I did, is there a problem?" and I respond along the lines of "No, I just wanted to know" (I don't remember what I said but it is along the lines of that!)

He started insulting me and we got into an argument.

I didn't care at first,. He said that my friend isn't my best friend and that he's her best friend and etc

And then he said that my friend doesn't want to be my friend, that I should leave her alone, poor her, and that I'm bothering her—which did sting because friendship is a hard topic for me.

At some point I said that I never wanted to argue and that I'd rather be friends, and then he said that nobody wants to be friends with me

Again, friendship was a hard topic so that blow hit hard

Also he said he'll fuck my sister which is Hella weird.

I did leave the server after.

I also did talk to her in her dms in the middle of the argument, after the argument too.

She said she'd talk to him and I did doubt it at first until a few days passed and she sent me the server link and told me to join so we could call.

And I didn't want to at first

She told me that she stopped being friends with him because he insulted people too much, and that he left the server

(which I read that last part wrong and thought she said that he permanently left, but I missed on an important detail where she said he isn't connected)

Days pass and she resent the link again and I joined it this time

Okay now even more days pass and now it's present day

So today I got tagged by my friend because she wanted me to talk

Okay so I started talking and then someone replies to me, saying "do you remember me" in french again

And after a while of saying I don't remember, he refreshed my memory by something he said in the past

And I was over that argument anyway, so instead of shying away I just annoyed him back

Now there was this other person who said that they supported Israel, at first I thought it was a joke but it wasn't so I started to debate with them

I was lagging so I couldn't debate to full extent because it was hard to reply

But I did send a large text about some things that Israel did

And he said that they were just defending thesmeleo

Okay I went off topic a bit sorry

So, later on I just dropped the debate because the person wasn't taking it seriously

Now another person replied to me saying "25$ and he starts being pro palestine" which I acknowledged as a joke ofc, and I made a joke back saying "Nah let him stay like that, I ain't rich"

Then the person (the one that didn't take the debate seriously) said "25$ cheese pizza" which was a reference of a popular influencer called "Clavicular" who bought 25$ worth of Cp

And I responded by "Yeah I get the ref, glad he's in jail now"

And the person started saying that they would bail him out if they could.

And after a small while I tagged the 19yr old guy and said along the lines of "is this your disciple or what?" as Joke and fully expecting him to decline, which I now realize I was indirectly associating him with a pred (i think, please tell me if I did because I'm not too sure and if I did I really didn't mean too!)

He replied and said yes

And then I gave him context and he said along the lines that he has eyes and can read, which normally indicates that he has read the convo (correct me if I'm wrong and if it does or does not indicate it)

We then got into an argument, and I did insult him back

At some point he started insulting my mom and included my sister (again)

And I have never mentioned his family, because they didn't do anything

I did call him pred and "incel bitch", in the argument, which was wrong from me

I shouldn't have been insulting but It was in the heat of the moment, but I still shouldn't have insulted

So that's the context (sorry if it was super long, also he doesn't like me, because he just doesn't like me)

And my friend hasn't checked up on my, and etc

And I want to bring it up to her about how she kinda lied about not being friends with him and how she genuinely just didn't even defend me (I know her irl and he doesn't)

I mean yeah, she isn't obligated to defend me but she could've at least told him to stop

But she said that she wasn't online (not sure if I believe it or not)

I'm a bit bothered and a little sad about the fact that she still hasn't reached out and I don't want to bother her with this subject again

What do I do? And any advice for the future

Like any type of advice, like how to handle future arguments, how to keep calm and etc

Okay thanks for reading!!!

(also not too harsh with the advice, I'm kinda sensitive/soft hearted or whatever the word is!!)

My best friend has a sworn enemy. That guy (I’ll refer to him as “apple”) and my friend had a huge argument in college a year ago. He said very hurtful things to her, she had panic attacks because of him. and I was not her friend back then. But she complained to the management and they made sure he had back logs subjects.
He texted me 3-4 months ago, he’s a fuckboy, and I love sex too. He invited me to his house and we had sex and it’s still happening. I didn’t tell this to anyone. Literally no one. I keep that part separate.
Few day ago, someone she knew I was talking to him and she confronted me. I told her we were just friends and there’s nothing more going on.

I am someone who thinks, there are a lot of parts in my life and my friends are a “part” of it. I don’t have to make personal decisions based on my friend’s history. I don’t have to accommodate for their emotions. I know exactly what I’m doing and that is why I keep different parts of my life separate.

She said I should cut him off.
I didn’t.
I went to his house and had sex again.
And I am not guilty.

I hate making decisions based on other’s emotions. I love my autonomy and I want it. And I don’t expect any of my friends to hate my enemy just because I hate them. I don’t bring up my past when my friend starts talking to my enemy.

All of us went through different situations. The situations I have been through, made me think like this.

I don’t like some of her friends, but I never tell her to stop being friends with them.

I hate being told what to do. I hate it.

And I’m not guilty for what I did. PERIOD.

Hey Reddit, I've never done this before.

My friend and I have been friends since our freshman year of college. She is one of my best friends, and I am definitely her best friend. Very recently, she confessed to having feelings for me, which I did not reciprocate. I must confess that I did kiss her while we were both very drunk at a frat party. I definitely overstepped, but in the moment, I really did think that it was a funny girls' thing. I may be misreading the extent of platonic relationships. Either way, I was very clear to her about my boundaries and have since pulled away from the friendship after a series of conversations that I thought had resolved any conflict ( I think that it is important to note that during one of these conflicts, she accused me of having no empathy).

For some background on this situation, earlier this year, I helped her through a very scary situation. She had what can only be described as a complete mental breakdown while we were camping with a large group. She said and did some very scary things, and I ended up locking her in my car for the night to keep her safe. Since then, things have been a little strained between us.

Recently, I have been a hermit, studying for some classes I was struggling to pass (failing would delay my graduation). I have spent almost all my free time away from class and work either studying or asleep. I was not hanging out with anyone who was not also studying with me lol. And I finally finished my finals today, so I took the rest of the afternoon to tackle chores and self-care that I have been neglecting for a few weeks.

Around 10 pm at night, I get a phone call from my friend as I am lying in bed. She was upset with me right off the bat and claims that we were supposed to hang out that day; however, I never made any plans with her other than an off-handed "maybe" two days prior because I was so wrapped up in my classes. She also never texted me to confirm any such plans. She said that I am neglecting her and our friendship, but she had not contacted me since the last time we hung out a few days ago. I have not been ignoring her; I have just been overwhelmed, and I don't know if I am the asshole or if she is being too clingy. I have tried to set boundaries before, but she always makes me feel guilty about them. It has come to the point that I am starting to ignore her because every time we hang out, it feels like a chore.

I don't think she is a bad person, but I find it exhausting to be around and she is reminding me more and more of an unwanted clingy girlfriend.

TLDR: I need space from my friend, but I can't get it without feeling evil.

hi there,

I very honestly don’t know how to write this but i feel like I am going insane and just really need someone to talk about it with that isn’t my mum.

so i F17 am in a friend group at my theatre company with a few people around the same ages as me (15-18) and lately I’ve been noticing how they have been talking to me, especially two of my friends Sadie (15) and Jake (18). (fake names) So basically this is what happened yesterday:

So Sadie and Jake were laughing about something so I went and asked them what was so funny, so then Jake told me that he didn’t know that *insert women's name was ours mutuals friend mom and I guess that is was super obvious to Sadie so she thought it was funny. Then Jake asked me if I know that she was her mom and I said no as well trying to laugh with them. Then Sadie said “well yeah of course you don’t know your you!” and jake added on and said “yeah no surprise there it’s not like you know much!” and then they just kept going on about saying how dumb and slow I was. I was a little upset of course but I tried to laugh it off mainly because the rest of the group thought it was hilarious. That example is only one btw, this keeps happening with them telling people when I meet them that I’m a lot, and that they will have to talk slowly near me, baby talking to me or other things that make me feel like they think it’s funny to call me stupid. Now I never use this as an excuse but I’m autistic and they know that. My main struggle has always been social cues and such so maybe that’s why they think they can joke like this? And every time I’ve told them I’m upset they either tell me they ment what they said and to stop victimizing myself or to simply get over it.

can someone give me some advice on what they mean I can’t tell if they are actually like bullying me or just joking. They also have pranked me mutilple times by Making up huge lies untill I believe them just to freak me out because it’s funny because how gullible I am. They are my only friends and I really don’t want to be alone, but this is really hurting my feelings and everytime I talk to them they make me feel like I’m crazy. I just want them to like me. What do I do?

My social life sucks. I don't have that many friends. I have some of them but they are shit . They always call me for money and don't care about me that much . So I have started distancing myself from the group. They are very extroverted as well. Like they will just randomly decide to climb a mountain or go on unknown trails and get lost . They like these kind of activities. I don't . That is why I am not able to fit in the group as well. I am a big introvert. Simply just roaming around and talking to them for about 1 hour is enough for me . It's just having friends to talk to each day and roaming with them is enough for me .

I am focusing on my studies so I tend to go out rarely . It is also one of the reasons that they have stopped calling me when they go out together ( well ..they roam everyday) . I was the first one to start distancing myself away from them. They don't respect boundaries at all . I get the made the most fun of in the group . I have confronted them about it but they take it as a joke .

Also if I go out with them they tend to make me spend more as I have more money. 9 out of 10 times they call is always about lending them money . It is always small amounts but they never return it . Heck they don't even consider it a lending . They just request it .. almost like that they demand it . That is why i have stopped picking up their calls .

So I short they are shit but they are the only friends I have and i have started distancing myself away from them which has made myself social life miserable.

I want to make my social life better . What should I do . There aren't many people of my age group in my area. I live in a small town.

i just wanna share something. Idk if petty ba ako or being immature. Ganto kasi yan. I have a COF, lima kami. We’ve all been friends since highschool. Sa aming lima now lang talaga kami nakakabawi magkita kita kahit once per month this 2026, kasi nung college kami we rarely see each other. Kaya now na may work na kaming lahat we planned to meet atleast 1-2 times a month and syempre active na ulit gc namin. Ngayon we have that one friend na ever since highschool never siyang naging single. Long term naman lahat ng najojowa niya. Pero kasi after 3 yrs relationship may bago agad. Sinasabihan namin siya to try and love herself first pero wala so nagsawa na kami magsabi and hinayaan na namin sa decisions.

This time nung october 2025, she broke up with her boyfriend. So ayun na parang sabi niya she wants to be single muna edi masaya kami for her, take note sa gc lang siya nagsabi. After that netong January 2026 nagkita kami for catching up. Sumulpot siya, late. Kasi na-late daw gising, okay fine. Tapos biglanh nagkwento na may nanliligaw daw sa kanya sa workplace niya which is sa grocery store kasi cashier siya for the meantime while magrereview for LET.

Syempre nagtaka kami why nagpapaligaw na when she said na she wants to be single na mun. But then again hinayaan na namin siya magkwento. Edi okay na. After our January meet-up, February nagkita ulit ayaw niya sana sumama dahil feeling niya buntis siya. HUH??? Diba. So as good friends sinabihan namin siya na magkita kita na kami and pt na rin siya and we’ll be there for her. Pumayag siya kaso wala daw siyang pera ₱50 lang dala niya. Edi nilibre pa namin sa cafe and binilhan ng pt. Ayun kingina buntis. Turns out may namgyayare na pala sa kanila nung ’manliligaw’ kuno niya. So we asked her what’s her plan. Kasi whatever she chooses we’ll support her. Sabi niya ayaw niya raw ituloy kasi nga her family is really struglling and siblings niya eh baon sa utang. So support namin again.

Pero after that day, biglang nagchat siya sa gc na itutuloy nalang daw niya kahit gusto ipa-abort ng mom niya. Edi syempre sabi namin if whatever she chooses its fine we support. Pero tangina alam niyo ba. Naka ignore messages na kaming friends niya, nabalitaan nalamg namin ikakasal daw siya sa baby daddy niya. Kinamusta namin siya sa pm and gc pero walang reply. Nagpopost pero siya ng pics ng guy on socmed. So anoanother era na naman namin siya magkwento kapag naghiwalay sila running back to us na naman. Kaya i did what i think was best for my peace, unfriend sa lahat ng social media platforms.. But am i immature for being offended? Kasi since highschool ganyan ganap niya if may boyfriend siya di niya kami pinapansin masyado tapos kapag nagaaway sila makikipag hang out siya. TAKE NOTE lahat ng hangouts namin sagot namin siya kasi nga striuggling siya which is gets naman sana. Pero pag tinignan mo fb stories niya lagi siyang present sa inuman with her other friends.

I’m going to try point out my faults as well because I want a PROPER fair opinion (so feel free to highlight my faults). THIS IS AN INCREDIBLY LONG POST BUT I WOULD BE SO SO GRATEFUL.

Relevant context: My (22F) dad got ill when I was 17. Over 3 years, he lost memory and functioning and I only saw him 6 times due to Covid restrictions and university and a complex relationship. I didn’t talk often about the situation with these friends (22F and 23F currently) as I had a BSF who properly engaged with all of it.

ANYWAYS proper situation. These friends B(22F) and M(23F) have been in my main friend group of 6 people since we were 14. As a group, we do not message/ call at all really but we always eventually meet up and it’s like nothing. Until September 2024, we had all been separated at different universities and naturally become quite distant and developing slightly different. As of September 2024, me and M were back in our hometown while B was studying abroad.

Next section is crucial context to understand my later actions.
My auntie got hospitalised due to an ED and health problems in October 2024 and she is now permanently in care. My brother and I would visit and we try to get her to take meds. She would sob. She would insult. She threatened to khs (and I’d never even seen her cry prior). Then January 2025 my mum gets diagnosed with leukaemia. I tell B and M and no one else as I have grown distant from that aforementioned BSF. They express shock and ask how I am. Over February 2025-June 2025, B checks in a bit. M does not and we don’t meet up despite living back home. Over summer 2025, I become quite depressed. I do not leave my room. I don’t do hobbies. I get anti-depressants briefly in June. I don’t really make this known however.

NOW. July 2025. B’s 22nd bday. She wants to go clubbing and get a BnB in the city. It is meant to be me, B, M, F (22F), G(22F), M’s bf(22M), and 2 of his friends(both 22M). I know all the girls but none of the men. I have never been into clubbing. However, it is a birthday so initially I say I’ll go, especially since B, M and me are CLOSE friends. Gc is made and I’m getting anxious. One of the guys is flirting with B and M had previously wanted to set them up. Both F and G have boyfriends.

As I mentioned, I’m being honest even if I don’t come across good. I HATE being around good looking men in situations where they feel pressure to talk to me. The gc was getting flirty and I was beginning to see that I was the other “dating option”. Already feeling icky about the situation.

My mental health is shit shit. It’s getting closer and I’m dreading it since I’ve barely left the house this summer and I’ve gained weight so I’m also worried about getting unbearably sweaty just from being outside. Then two days before, I get my period. I get such bad cramps on my period that I throw up even water and spend most of the time curled up crying and not eating/ drinking anything. I message B and M saying I can’t go but I’ll pay for my share of B and B. They tell me to come anyways and just not go clubbing but stay overnight. I say no.

I message B privately explaining everything and apologise. B airs me out in gc. I feel so guilty I go to the B&B. I meet F and M on the train platform. Whole journey is uncomfortable and they’ve clearly been talking. I feel so guilty I buy a lot of the food and I help them set up and leave before the guy friends turn up. I brought a bday present even though we didn’t have to. I leave my digital camera for them to get pics. I let F keep my jacket because shes cold and not got one. I just felt so guilty and uncomfortable. I literally get home and cry. Never felt so uncomfortable. We don’t really talk again since that.

I know I bailed last minute on a birthday and that’s not okay. I also think they are upset because I didn’t celebrate my bday with them (I haven’t celebrated my birthday since I was 15 but other friends booked me a dinner). I think they perceived this as me celebrating without them instead of being surprised a bday.

I can’t help but feel anger though. I’ve been trying to communicate but the responses are dead. I’m most irritated with M however because she seems to be the most angry when it wasn’t even her birthday?? I also feel angry because they’ve barely been here despite my dad dying and my mum getting leukaemia but they’re going crazy because I didn’t go to a birthday celebration. Ik I was selfish but it was one event and not to diminish birthdays but we haven’t even celebrated mine in years so why are they acting like the end of a friendship over one event?

Also definitely feels like an end of a friendship since the friendgroup went on holiday a couple of weeks ago and I was invited once flights had been booked. If you’ve read all this, please also criticise my behaviour because I need to see it from their perspective because I don’t want to lose friends when my family is already dying.

So I (22 F) am in a trio with my two best friends, to keep them anonymous I'll call them Tara and Lindsay. Our trio dynamic is weird, basically they both feel closer to me than with each other (they've both told me this separately) and whenever we go out it's awkward and tense. We've been friends for three years. Basically, Lindsay copies everything I do, and Tara and I have both noticed. Here's just a few things (not all):

- Entire skincare and makeup routine, exact products and everything (she looks at my stuff when she comes over, we don't even have the same skin type)

- Clothes (she bought the exact shirt and 4 pants that I own, I stopped wearing them and I've never seen her wear them since. Also I wear lots of dark red, and she also started buying things that are dark red, like shirts and bags and everything I also own. She says we're so "matchy matchy"

- She asks what I'm ordering at a restaurant and then always gets the same order, and I once ordered something that has coconut (she's allergic) and she ordered it anyways and told me later she had the worst stomach ache

- She borrows my clothes all the time, she asked for a jacket when she had one already, she just didn't want to wear hers for some reason so I offered one that matched Tara's, and she said she didn't like it either and then went into my closet and picked out a jacket herself (it was my every day jacket) She also never borrows clothes from Tara, and its painfully obvious its because Tara is just a size bigger than us. Which shouldn't even matter but I know it makes her feel bad.

- I had severe eczema all my life and the girls know it and see it on my hands and I always have hand cream on me and she said lately she's been feeling so dry and itchy and she's been obsessed with hand cream and apparently it healed recently so we can't see it now but she used to have it and now needs hand cream all the time just like me

- She bought the same watch as me, she told me she showed her mom my 21st bday gift and said she wanted one like it so she got a cheaper version but the exact same style

- She asked what hairstyle I was wearing for Tara's birthday, I wanted to wear mine down so I told her I was wearing it up. I even put it up too. She also put hers up. Then I took mine down. She then took hers down. I put it up again after a few minutes of doing something else, and then she put it up too. I did it a few more times and she just had it however I did in the end

This is just some of the superficial stuff, and there's so much more than this. Basically anything I ever say I like, Tara said she's noticed that Lindsay will have that exact thing the next week. Our closets, skincare, makeup, activities, and apparently now preferences are identical. It drives me crazy. I'm not the type to confront her about this, it makes me feel so narcissistic claiming she's copying me even though everyone else around me sees it too.

I'm not someone who thinks imitation is flattery. I really value what makes myself and everyone around me unique. Originality has always been something important to me. I feel like I'm losing my sense of self cause I'm seeing her doing and liking everything that makes me who I am. I really feel sick when I think about it and it makes me so upset. Idk how to get away from it without confronting her. I also feel bad that its made Tara feel like a third wheel. I've talked it out with her, and she knows I'm not trying to leave her out of stuff, Lindsay is just making us seem so alike.

Idk what's gonna happened when we graduate but I feel like she'll want to stay in touch. I'm leaving out a lot of context here cause it's such a long post but please comment any advice or just your opinion on the whole situation. Sometimes it keeps me up at night :/

so I’ll try to explain this briefly but I’m really close to this girl and shes my best friend and im even close to her family and shes close to mine.

I almost tell her everything, however i also explained to her that sometimes I need space when something is bothering me before I can actually open up about it. Or sometimes there are things that I wish I could tell u but I can’t bcz it’s not my secret or burden to share. Or sometimes it’s just simply the fact that I always have money problems that affects my mental state and I feel uncomfortable to speak about that with anyone.

So sometimes when she texts me when I’m going through something, I usually say thats im okay or everything is fine, simply bcz Ive never been the type of person who accepted help Bcz I almost never received it.

She used to get upset and say “K”

So then id get even more stressed and get upset over the fact that she’s upset so I decided to speak with her and explain my situation.

I told her that sometimes I just don’t feel like opening up at the moment but once I am comfortable enough to speak or ready enough to talk I will talk to you so please don’t act cold towards me when you know I am already upset

She said okay and apologized then everything was good.

Until she did it again, multiple times.

Everytime id get upset and need my space and time (which btw it’s usually only a day or two) she’d just treat me differently.

I already spoke to her about it and for context she does the same thing when she’s going through something. She always pushes me away and I understand that sometimes a person needs their space to deal with their own problems so I wait for her until shes comfortable enough to speak to me.

And I asked her to do the same with me. But she never did.

Even when we feel a bit distant or that’s something’s wrong, I am quick to start a conversation and ask her Whats wrong.

But she doesn’t do that, even though she feels that we are distant. And I told her why didn’t she say anything if she felt that something was different?

She just said shes not good with communication. Which I totally understand but I can’t always be the one who tries fixing everything.

I don’t know, please tell me if im overthinking it.