Hey Reddit, I've never done this before.
My friend and I have been friends since our freshman year of college. She is one of my best friends, and I am definitely her best friend. Very recently, she confessed to having feelings for me, which I did not reciprocate. I must confess that I did kiss her while we were both very drunk at a frat party. I definitely overstepped, but in the moment, I really did think that it was a funny girls' thing. I may be misreading the extent of platonic relationships. Either way, I was very clear to her about my boundaries and have since pulled away from the friendship after a series of conversations that I thought had resolved any conflict ( I think that it is important to note that during one of these conflicts, she accused me of having no empathy).
For some background on this situation, earlier this year, I helped her through a very scary situation. She had what can only be described as a complete mental breakdown while we were camping with a large group. She said and did some very scary things, and I ended up locking her in my car for the night to keep her safe. Since then, things have been a little strained between us.
Recently, I have been a hermit, studying for some classes I was struggling to pass (failing would delay my graduation). I have spent almost all my free time away from class and work either studying or asleep. I was not hanging out with anyone who was not also studying with me lol. And I finally finished my finals today, so I took the rest of the afternoon to tackle chores and self-care that I have been neglecting for a few weeks.
Around 10 pm at night, I get a phone call from my friend as I am lying in bed. She was upset with me right off the bat and claims that we were supposed to hang out that day; however, I never made any plans with her other than an off-handed "maybe" two days prior because I was so wrapped up in my classes. She also never texted me to confirm any such plans. She said that I am neglecting her and our friendship, but she had not contacted me since the last time we hung out a few days ago. I have not been ignoring her; I have just been overwhelmed, and I don't know if I am the asshole or if she is being too clingy. I have tried to set boundaries before, but she always makes me feel guilty about them. It has come to the point that I am starting to ignore her because every time we hang out, it feels like a chore.
I don't think she is a bad person, but I find it exhausting to be around and she is reminding me more and more of an unwanted clingy girlfriend.
TLDR: I need space from my friend, but I can't get it without feeling evil.