So I (22 F) am in a trio with my two best friends, to keep them anonymous I'll call them Tara and Lindsay. Our trio dynamic is weird, basically they both feel closer to me than with each other (they've both told me this separately) and whenever we go out it's awkward and tense. We've been friends for three years. Basically, Lindsay copies everything I do, and Tara and I have both noticed. Here's just a few things (not all):
- Entire skincare and makeup routine, exact products and everything (she looks at my stuff when she comes over, we don't even have the same skin type)
- Clothes (she bought the exact shirt and 4 pants that I own, I stopped wearing them and I've never seen her wear them since. Also I wear lots of dark red, and she also started buying things that are dark red, like shirts and bags and everything I also own. She says we're so "matchy matchy"
- She asks what I'm ordering at a restaurant and then always gets the same order, and I once ordered something that has coconut (she's allergic) and she ordered it anyways and told me later she had the worst stomach ache
- She borrows my clothes all the time, she asked for a jacket when she had one already, she just didn't want to wear hers for some reason so I offered one that matched Tara's, and she said she didn't like it either and then went into my closet and picked out a jacket herself (it was my every day jacket) She also never borrows clothes from Tara, and its painfully obvious its because Tara is just a size bigger than us. Which shouldn't even matter but I know it makes her feel bad.
- I had severe eczema all my life and the girls know it and see it on my hands and I always have hand cream on me and she said lately she's been feeling so dry and itchy and she's been obsessed with hand cream and apparently it healed recently so we can't see it now but she used to have it and now needs hand cream all the time just like me
- She bought the same watch as me, she told me she showed her mom my 21st bday gift and said she wanted one like it so she got a cheaper version but the exact same style
- She asked what hairstyle I was wearing for Tara's birthday, I wanted to wear mine down so I told her I was wearing it up. I even put it up too. She also put hers up. Then I took mine down. She then took hers down. I put it up again after a few minutes of doing something else, and then she put it up too. I did it a few more times and she just had it however I did in the end
This is just some of the superficial stuff, and there's so much more than this. Basically anything I ever say I like, Tara said she's noticed that Lindsay will have that exact thing the next week. Our closets, skincare, makeup, activities, and apparently now preferences are identical. It drives me crazy. I'm not the type to confront her about this, it makes me feel so narcissistic claiming she's copying me even though everyone else around me sees it too.
I'm not someone who thinks imitation is flattery. I really value what makes myself and everyone around me unique. Originality has always been something important to me. I feel like I'm losing my sense of self cause I'm seeing her doing and liking everything that makes me who I am. I really feel sick when I think about it and it makes me so upset. Idk how to get away from it without confronting her. I also feel bad that its made Tara feel like a third wheel. I've talked it out with her, and she knows I'm not trying to leave her out of stuff, Lindsay is just making us seem so alike.
Idk what's gonna happened when we graduate but I feel like she'll want to stay in touch. I'm leaving out a lot of context here cause it's such a long post but please comment any advice or just your opinion on the whole situation. Sometimes it keeps me up at night :/