r/redditonwiki

I was at the airport and we had a tight window for our layover flight to pick us up, maybe 10 minutes and it was on the opposite side of the terminal.

I am a fast walker, pre much the fastest walker I know. Naturally, I overtook this older woman and her husband (who got off the same flight as me) while walking to the departure gate. I’m just walking as I normally do when that same woman cuts in front of me. Like she wanted to be ahead.

I thought it was odd and slightly annoying. We’re all going to the same place and you were in no visible hurry until I overtook you. Then you want to be in front of me.

So I just increased my walking speed a bit and overtook her again. It wasn’t hard. Mf this woman cuts in front of me AGAIN.

So at this point I’m like alright, gloves are off lady. You wanna be first? I’m gonna leave your ass in the dust. You stand 0 chance against me.

So I sped up and kept walking fast and I can literally see her speeding up as well (mind you this is all on the “down low”. Officially both of us are playing dumb). I start smiling because there’s no way this stupid ass woman is going to beat me and she’s just gonna get tired. I speed up even more to the point where I’m almost running.

Guess who got on the plane first? Me bitch. And I made sure to speed up extra fast just so that mf knew she lost and that she lost humiliatingly. By the time she got on the plane it was full to the brim. Maybe if she was a bit faster she could’ve been able to stow her luggage in a convenient spot hahahaha

My dad never paid child support. My mom and I lived on EBT. He lived across the country, then across the world. I’ve met him fewer than 10 times in my life.

When I was 16-17, he called then visited for the first time since I was 10. He asked my mom and me to sign paperwork suspending child support enforcement so he could renew his passport and return to the country where he was working.

He owed somewhere between $10-20k. He swore he’d repay everything once he got back to his job. I didn’t believe him for a second, but it was genuinely nice seeing him we were weirdly alike in a way my mom and I never were. Despite my resentment, I wanted some kind of relationship with him.

So I signed. Aaaand I never saw him again.

That was 10 years ago. Now he’s back in my inbox because his passport is expiring again and he needs me to sign the same documents.

Here’s the thing. he has two kids in this other country, ages 6 and 8. If he can’t renew his passport, he has to leave them behind with their mother. I know exactly what that feels like and I genuinely don’t want to do that to them.

But I also don’t want to sign a single thing for this guy.

I’ve talked it through with people close to me. One friend says the harm is already done, my resentment is valid but signing costs me nothing real at this point, and refusing just punishes kids who did nothing wrong. I hear that.But my hesitation isn’t really about punishing him. I’ve done a lot of work on these feelings and I don’t hate him. I just don’t want to be involved in his life.

What kills me is that I’m being handed responsibility for whether two children get to grow up with their father.

That’s not a decision I should have to make. He made promises to a court to pay child support, broke them, then made new promises to that same court 10 years ago and apparently made zero plans for the fact that this day would come again. That’s on him.

I told him “My ideal situation is addressing this directly with the court so I can make clear I want no part of this arrangement. Short of that, I’ll consider signing depending on what exactly the documents say. But I need you to understand. under no circumstances will I be doing this again in 10 years.”

So, AITAH?​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

My husband (married for 5 years) will say “I have a present for you” and hold something behind his back. Once it was an Amazon box. It was something that I ordered for the house. He just picked it up off the porch and pretended it was a gift he ordered for me. Today he handed me a paper bag and said here’s a gift for you and it was some cans and an onion from a grocery order I placed and paid.

I have asked my husband to stop doing this multiple times. When he does this it gets me excited just for a moment and then I realize he’s duped me yet again. I don’t need a gift or ask for one so it’s like he’s constantly pulling the rug out from under me for no reason. He says he doesn’t remember that I’ve asked him to stop doing it and is just trying to be silly. What would you do to make him stop?

My wife and I each brought a child into our marriage. I have a 10 year old son and my wife has a 6 year old daughter. My son's mom and I were not together at the time of her passing 3 years ago. I was already dating my wife at the time and we were working on moving in together. My stepdaughter's dad is in and out of her life and has not been consistent in her life whatsoever.

Before we moved in together I talked to my son about it (both before and after his mom died). His only worry about it was that he wouldn't get to spend the same kind of quality time with me so I made a commitment to him that I would make time for 1:1 time once a week with just him. That was good enough for him to be okay with us all living together. I communicated this with my wife at the time and she didn't have a problem with it. We actually discussed all of this before we married too and we were on the same page.

Now two years into our marriage and she's no longer on the same page as me. She is upset at the fact the 1:1 is still 1:1 and my son is never okay with turning it into the whole family time. We do make time for family time as well. I do make sure I get 1:1 time with my stepdaughter also.

My wife has said it's not fair to my stepdaughter to always be excluded the 1:1 time with my son. She said my stepdaughter gets jealous and it hurts her feelings. Jealousy has been an issue and I have always talked to her about it when it becomes known to me. But my wife said it's not okay that it keeps happening and that my stepdaughter's feelings get hurt by it. She also said my son doesn't look forward to 1:1 time with her like he does with me and she feels like 1:1 time with me has made that worse because he doesn't feel like he needs her and doesn't see her as a true parent. Then she'll say that's not really it but she gets jealous too. Then she says 1:1 time has made it harder to be spontaneous because if we have a busy week I prioritize the 1:1 time and that's true. That was something I communicated I would do before we even got married.

The topic has become more intense because my stepdaughter was recently very upset after spending time with her dad. He made her promises previously and broke them and it sent her jealousy of my 1:1 time with my son into overdrive. Made worse when her dad didn't acknowledge her birthday. My wife told me for a little while I could at least cut the 1:1 time out for her sake and I told her no. I told her I won't do that to my son and if she can't accept it and keeps trying to fight about this then our marriage will be over.

She lost it and tried to escalate it into a fight but I walked away so the kids wouldn't hear. But she was still mad hours later and she was still ready to fight. I told her I wasn't going to let this turn into us yelling at each other and she needs to decide if this is her hill to die on, because it is for me.

AITAH?

So I’m really struggling with what happened at my (basically) SIL’s wedding a few days ago.

For context, she ( let’s call her Amy) had been asking my bf (her brother, lets call him Ted) to do a sibling dance to a slow song at her upcoming wedding. Amy’s (different dads) father died a few years ago.

A big reoccurring issue though, is she is a functioning alcoholic. When she gets drunk sometimes, she becomes very touchy with Ted. Wanting to cuddle and hug, sometimes staring into his eyes while hugging him. Crawling on him. It’s been disturbing and has come up a few times in conversation prior. Ted has voiced how uncomfortable it makes him and calls her “Creepy Amy”. Their mom thinks it’s cute, but it’s very uncomfortable to witness. I’ve even looked over at her fiancé when she’s touching Ted Inappropriately, and he looks just as horrified as I do.

So, Ted declined the dance after being pressured by his sister and his mom for months. He put his foot down and said no a final time. He complained to his other 2 sibling (who do not act like this ever) about how creeped out and uncomfortable he was with it. Both siblings agreed she was being weird and gross.

Yea fast forward to wedding night. Everything is fine all night, regular basic wedding day and after party. Around 11:30 I take our exhausted children back to the hotel. Ted decided he wanted to stay the last 30 minutes. He was very drunk like most of the remaining crowd. I leave with his other sibling and their family, and our kids.

They eventually all come back. Sleep. Pack up and go home next day.

Well at the dinner next day Amy goes “I’m so happy I got my brother sister dance” in a “gotcha!” tone. I immediately am like “wait what?”. Amy says “omg you weren’t there that’s right! Ted didn’t tell you how amazing it was??? He didn’t show you the video? I sent it to him that night! It was so incredible!”

I look over at Ted and he looks like he’s going to throw up from embarrassment. That turns to anger. I ask to see the video, and I was so disturbed that I had to turn it off within a few seconds. She is curled around his chest while he holds her slow dancing, and she peers into his eyes merely inches from his face. It looked like they were going to kiss it was so absolutely nasty to watch. 4 minute song btw. This went on for 4 minutes. I’m baffled everyone’s incest avoidance bells weren’t going off. It was sickening and I really do not know how to move past it. Amy has also brought it up to me 3 times now how much she loved dancing with Ted… it seems like a possessive thing but also very yucky.

I genuinely cannot make this up.

I moved into my apartment last June. Set up my internet, named my network, put a password on it, normal stuff. Life went on.

Yesterday my neighbour knocks on my door. I've talked to this guy maybe four times total. Nice enough. Mid 40s, wears those zip-off cargo pants where the legs detach into shorts. Has a cat named Diesel. That's everything I know about him.

He goes "hey man is your internet acting up? Mine's been really slow the last couple days."

I said yeah actually it has been a little slow but I figured it was the provider. And he goes "yeah same. I wonder if it's an area thing."

Then he said, and I quote "it's been great up until this week honestly. Like really fast."

Something about the way he said it made me pause. I said "wait. What's your provider." He said "oh I don't have my own I just use yours."

WHAT.

He said it so casually. Like he was telling me he borrows my parking spot sometimes. Just completely matter of fact. "I just use yours." Like we'd discussed this. Like there was an agreement. THERE WAS NO AGREEMENT.

I said "how do you have my password" and this man looked me in the eyes and said "it was on the sticky note on your router when you had your door open on moving day. I just remembered it."

MOVING DAY. This man memorized my WiFi password from a STICKY NOTE he saw through my OPEN DOOR while I was carrying in a couch. Eight months ago. He saw it once, from a distance, remembered it, and has been connected to my network ever since. I don't even remember the password. I have to check the sticky note every time someone comes over. This man has a better memory of my security credentials than I do.

I asked him how much data he uses. He goes "not that much, just normal stuff." I said what's normal stuff. He said "Netflix, YouTube, my work emails, Diesel's vet portal." HIS CAT HAS A VET PORTAL RUNNING ON MY INTERNET. I have been subsidizcing this cat's healthcare connectivity for eight months.

Then and this is the part that broke me - he goes "honestly you should call your provider because the speed we've been getting lately isn't great for what you're paying." WE. "What YOU'RE paying." This man is giving me consumer advice about the internet service HE IS STEALING FROM ME. He's acting like we're on a family plan. We are not on a family plan. We are not a family.

I just stood there. I didn't know what to do. Part of me wanted to be mad but he was being so sincere about it that I couldn't even access the anger. He genuinely seemed to think this was a normal neighbourly arrangement. Like borrowing a cup of sugar except the sugar is my entire internet connection for the better part of a year.

I changed my password last night. This morning he texted me I don't even know when I gave him my number, maybe also moving day, who knows what else this man observed -- and said "hey did you change the wifi password? The new one isn't working."

THE NEW ONE ISN'T WORKING. He tried to connect. He TRIED. With WHAT password. He just guessed?? He tried multiple passwords to get back onto my network like he was locked out of his OWN account??

I haven't responded yet. I've been staring at this text for six hours. Diesel has an appointment on Thursday and I don't know if he can check in online anymore. I'm somehow feeling guilty about a cat's internet access that was never my responsibility.

He's a really nice guy. His cat is also very nice. I am losing my mind.

Throwaway account as my fiancé is on reddit

TLDR: BF’s mom wants to add more people to our ceremony and how can we hold that boundary?

Me and partner have been together for 10 years and always like the idea of an elopement over a wedding. We have let our family know over the years this what we want and most seem ok with it.

Well we decided to actually do it this year. We originally planned on doing an international trip but the costs and logistics were too much and stressful. So we decided to do a small road trip to a special camping spot and have our friend be our officiant and one of witnesses be the hired photographer. Our state requires 2 witnesses and my partner wanted the other witnesses to be his mother.(single mother, dad is not in the picture).

We went back and forth on if its right to have his mother as a witness when i don’t have family in the ceremony and if my side of the family heard that his mother was a witness they would be hurt. We concluded that this is our elopement and if thats what my partner wants, the it is what it is, and TBH i think my family would be hurt but accept it, be understanding and be happy for us nonetheless.

So the final decision from us is it would be just the 2 witnesses and the officiant. We would cover all the travel/food/cabin costs for them. And we discussed all our reasons why we didn’t want any more with his mother.

Now to the problem: besides photographer, the officiant and my partner’s mother no one else knows.

My partner’s mother is now asking if his younger sister (33F) her kids (5yrs &3yrs) can be apart of the ceremony. To the point she told his sister already and is asking about accommodations for them. This definitely got my blood boiling.

My partner tends to be people pleaser and is non confrontational, and has a hard time enforcing boundaries even if they have been established.

Also, my partner’s family dynamic is his younger sister is the obvious favorite and is very self centered and selfish. There is also a deeply rooted sibling rivalry as my partner gets easily annoyed/hurt/offended by sister and mother just takes sister’s side/defense most times, to the point of dismissing my partners feelings. I could share stories about how her selfishness and how his mother’s favoritism has affected us but that is different post all together.

Now I am very assertive and can have uncomfortable conversations and reenforce boundaries, but in this case i feel it should come from my partner, as i would be the ‘bridezilla bad guy’ . But he doesn’t want to cause drama and just allow his sister to come, even if it bothers him. It has caused fights between is as i don’t want his sister and kids there also, I don’t want to pay for them, and i don’t want that sibling rivalry drama on our day.

I want my partner to feel for just that day it’s all about us and our witnesses (his mother) supporting that.

I suggested do a simple party next year after the elopement to share with friends and family that weren’t at the elopement as a way to include his sister and kids, but that isn’t enough for the mother.

How can i navigate my partner’s mother trying to ruin our elopement and encourage my partner to have the conversation of enforcing our boundaries we set?

My wife and I are child free, so we have date night almost weekly. I plan events, but also ask for her input. She asks to go bowling every few months. I can't understand why, because she will consistently get upset that I do well at it.

To put it in perspective, I'll highlight our last trip. She researched a place that had a good deal in our area: $30 per person for 2 hours of bowling. We went and I bowl kind of weird. I hook the ball from one side of the lane to the other. It's kind of a hit or miss for me because I have to get a feel for the grease on the lane to lock in, so game 1 I did poorly. So did she, but we were having a good time and engaging each other in between throws. Game 2, I had locked it in. She had a great game for her, but I scored a 210. Game 3, she stopped interacting with me and just threw it in the gutter, walked away, and read a book on her phone. I ended up asking if she wanted to leave after that, and we did. From my perspective, I lost $30 since our 2 hours was only half done, and we had dinner plans afterwards which she asked to cancel.

This isn't the first time it happened. One previous time, she had a couple too many drinks and when I started locking in, she started taking Snapchats of me bowling and narrating "Look at how good Lovefist1221 is! He's just great at bowling!" It was embarrassing and we left early again.

I guess my question is how to balance this. She wants to bowl, I want to practice and get better. If I just throw my games to keep the peace, I'm not practicing anymore, and in my opinion (this may be wrong) I'm just tossing money away because in my opinion I'm paying for the practice.

I guess I could throw my games with her and practice on my own, but we're child free and both work - it'd be weird for me to go bowling solo and tbh a waste of money in my opinion.

Last June, I was supposed to be celebrating my wedding. Instead, I was fighting a multi-front war with my own family.

​It started when both of my sisters dropped out of my wedding because they claimed the bridesmaid dress I chose was "too inappropriate." For context: the dress was elegant, navy blue, and floor-length—but apparently, they were too "risqué" for people who specialize in drama. My mother, instead of backing me up, went behind my back to send them alternative dresses she liked, completely bypassing me as the bride.

​I eventually cut both sisters off. To give you an idea of the audacity: the one sister who was still invited brought her Pomeranian to my formal wedding, claimed he was an "emotional support animal," and let him sit at the dinner table with his paws on the plate. He was, naturally, kicked out.

​But the real betrayal came from my mother. I discovered she had stolen our custom wedding invitations and RSVPs, handwriting my uninvited sister’s name onto them to force her way back into the event. When I confronted her? Her "punishment" was pulling into the driveway on Easter last year and hitting my car. She didn't apologize; she just got out and said, "I’m going to start hiding the Easter eggs now."

​Fast forward to this week. I told her we were putting my son in a daycare eight minutes from our house for the summer. Choosing a local daycare saves me nearly an hour and a half of driving compared to her house. Her response? "It feels like I'm being punished. What is the reason you don't want me spending time with him?" She then tried to guilt-trip me, saying he "isn't exposed to any family," and told me, "Hopefully someday you will see family is important."

​Let's talk about "Family Importance."

​I am currently in a high-stakes custody battle with my ex. My mother was the one who bailed him out after I fled with my seven-week-old baby because he was throwing me across the room and holding our child hostage. She was more upset over the daycare logistics than she was when I told her my ex punches 11-year-olds in the stomach.

​When I told her she was being ridiculous and that I would not hesitate to cut her out for emotional abuse, she completely ignored me and texted: "Easter is at 1. Let me know if you are coming."

​On Saturday, I sent her a screenshot from another grandmother who understood that daycare is about the child's needs, not the grandmother's ego. I added: "Considering last year's Easter you hit my car, we will skip this year."

​Her reply made me see red: "I hit your car? When was this? I'm starting to worry about you and your memory."

​The gaslighting is officially over. My only response was: "Wow... lol. You know, I think it's time. Goodbye, Mom." I have blocked her on everything. I am mourning the loss of the mother I deserved, but I am celebrating the peace I am finally creating for my child and myself.