r/AsianParentStories

Got arranged marriage, initially my wife had a hard time adjusting to everything and being the first DIL there was too much expectation she had to overcome from my parents. But after 8 years of marriage and 2 kids and still living with my parents, we still feel stuck. Nothing what we do is enough for my parents, we are constantly under the microscope, walking in eggshells. We already fought multiple battles in this house and in the end, parents would pull an emotional bs and turn it around and say it happens in every household; this too will pass. I made it clear that we want to move out but then parents will throw a tantrum and just emotionally show that they don’t support this decision. I am lost at this point, I want to move out and raise my own family. But constantly stuck in this situation where the people around me do not consent to this decision. I am emotionally exhausted and burned out from work and family.

I'm a 30 year woman who has decided to not settle down anytime soon. My 8 year old relationship ended a few months ago and I'm no where near ready to date again. My relationship was horribly toxic, left me with me emotional and financial scars, and I don't want to make that mistake again.

After I announced to my family that my ex and I broke up, my parents began to ask me what did I do to him. Why did he leave me? Didn't I want to get married? How could I waste 8 years and not get married? How could I not want to become a wife? How could I embarrass them by being single at this age? How could I show my face to others?

They said they knew he was going to leave because I was strong headed. I was too talkative. I was too opinionated. They said he knew I was going to be bad a wife.

They never asked me what he did to me. They never asked what he did wrong to hurt our relationship. Men do no wrong, men matter the most, marrying a man is success.

My whole life. They have always told me I'm going to grow up and be someone's wife. I need to be a good wife and a good mother. I was taught how to center men. Taught how to take care of the house, how to cook, clean, and take care my dad and my brothers.

They set up on one blind meeting. Set up. It was a set up. I came over under the pretense that my parents had something important to announce to the family. When I showed up to the house, I saw 3 uncles and an older woman. One of those men was trying to get set up with me. The others were his parents and the "matchmaker".

The years of therapy couldn't outrun the years of trauma that night. I yelled at everyone in that room. I told my parents "What is this? He needs a green card? He is a creep? He's too fkn old for me. You don't care about what I want at all? You and everyone in this room are messed up. You knew I wouldn't show up if you told me the truth about this meeting."

I have blocked them. I have gone no contact. I have not listened to my family to reconcile with them. Meanwhile my aunts and uncles tell me to give the old guy a chance or any guy they recommend. They said I'm single anyway. I have nothing to lose. He wants kids and I'm getting older. Only one of my bothers is currently on speaking terms with me.

It's so funny how most of them are in unhappy and unfulfilling marriages. But they want to sit there and give me advice about it. Yeah, no thanks.

im a 16 yo girl in high school and I've always performed well academically, but recently i brought up a dance team's tryout to my asian mom and told her that I wanted to try out. she disapproved the first time and she completely shut me down, telling me that stuff like dance teams wouldn't help me at all in life and that it would make me deviate from my path of getting a 1600 SAT score and getting into top colleges. I take SAT tutoring classes 3 nights a week, so she was also concerned that I wouldn't have time for it anymore if I made the team. it really discouraged me, but i decided to try again and tell her I understood her concerns so I talked to her again about it today , the day before tryouts, and she blew up and shut me down again telling me that I should bring her a 1600 SAT score to her first before I even talk to her about this ever again. Im extremely upset and angry because she thinks I can't balance my school life with extracurriculars when I already do that with my several clubs that I'm in. my back is at a wall and i feel like I'm missing out on so much because she constantly does this. I don't know what to do.

Hey, i (18F) recently got caught for lying about going to work when really i was with my boyfriend (17M). I have been talking about moving out from their home and he has offered to provide me with shelter, whether we rent a place together or stay at his parents for a couple months until we get our own place. My parents are extremely manipulative and don't want me to have a boyfriend at all. They insulted his background and said he's no match for me, when i truly feel like he is. When they found out, they took my passport, ssn, phone, restricted me from leaving the house, and almost made me lose my job (i was no-show today but my manager likes me enough to keep me hired). I just dont know if I'm making a mistake by leaving them for him, who I've known for 3 months. Our bond is extremely strong and we've been through a lot together and i know i can trust him. My parents are just worried about my safety but they still make the household incredibly toxic to live in. I walk on eggshells around my dad most of the time. I've been wanting to leave them ever since i was 12 so it's not like i was influenced by anyone else to make this decision. My father has been hitting me since i was a kid but stopped when i was around 13 years old. Just recently when he found out i lied to them he hit me again. My mom is a professional guilt tripper and enables my father's aggressive and reckless behavior. I just want to know if I'm being dramatic and should break up with my boyfriend for them or leave them and take my freedom back.

Hi Reddit, I’m usually just a lurker but I’ve never posted before. I’m kind of in a dilemma right now.

I’m 24F, first-generation Chinese American. My parents are from Fuzhou, China and immigrated to the U.S. in their early 20s. Even though they’ve been here most of their lives, they’ve never really adapted to the American lifestyle, and since they live in nyc, they heavily rely a lot on their kids. I recently told them I have a boyfriend that I’ve kept from them for about 3 years. The main reason I hid it is because he doesn’t have U.S. citizenship, and I know my parents look down on immigrants based on things they’ve said in the past. I only told them now because they’ve been trying to set me up with a friend’s kid (selling points: his family has a house), and I’ve told them multiple times I’m not interested in that or in dating within our circle. I have heard this is very typical FJ behavior.

Even after I set that boundary and told them about my boyfriend, they completely freaked out and demanded I break up with him. This was back in Feb 2026, the last time I visited home. Their main concern is that he’ll use me for citizenship and leave me after marriage. I get the concern, but we’ve been together for years, we’ve talked about it, and I honestly don’t believe that’s who he is. He’s treated me better than my parents ever have, he’s patient, and he’s currently doing his post-grad. Even if things somehow went wrong, I feel like I’ve been treated with real love in this relationship.

They basically gave me an ultimatum: choose them (and go on the blind date) or stay with my partner. I told them I’d think about it, then went back to my own place (I’ve been moved out for about 2 years now) and talked to my boyfriend. He knows about my family situation and has been really supportive, telling me it’s my decision. After that, my mom kept calling me nonstop, trying to force me to decide. She has a pattern of narcissistic behavior, lots of guilt-tripping and gaslighting. She belives she is always right and overreacts over everything. No one in my distant family likes her, shes broken up my cousin's family and treats my grandparents on my dad's side like absolute garbage. For context, she also forced me to give her all the money I made in high school and college, and now takes about 1/3 of my paycheck which I soon stopped giving. She always says she’s “saving it” for my future (marriage, house, emergencies), but those aren’t even my goals or something I have a say in.

She’ll call me for hours just to talk about how great of a mother she is. Honestly, she was very abusive, when I was growing up, especially because I’m a girl. I’ve kind of learned to tune it out over time as she goes in cycles of how she treats me. I am highly persusade that she has some sort of narcissistic disorder with the constant gaslighting and her own self praised. After about two weeks of nonstop calls, one night she started spamming me with really aggressive texts out of nowhere- calling me shameless, a slut, garbage, saying she was disgusted with me just for having a partner, this list of insults is about 30 messages in a span of 2 hours that I ignore. It was shocking because no one has spoken to me like that, let alone my mother. There was no trigger that day for those messages. She kept calling and texting from multiple numbers for days. At that point I blocked her because I was completely blindsided. Now I’m no-contact with her. My dad reached out once, telling me to come home, quit my job, and basically just obey/ ignore what my mother said because she’s my mother. I told him no, and honestly said that just because she gave birth to me doesn’t mean I owe her this. He also doesn’t accept my partner.

I still have two siblings at home who are in college, and they’re my ride-or-die. But my mom has been acting erratically with them too, being super controlling, going through their rooms, and trying to access their phones/appleid/social media. She is a nightmare to deal with and I am worry for my siblings. I honestly don’t know what to do from here.

We cant just accept people for who they are and feel happy for them!

Hi! Im 21F, still living with my parents and in college and my main problem is the fact that my parents (mostly my dad) will not let me go out unless he knows the full itinerary. Like where i’ll be, who I’m with. I can’t even just leave the house randomly and hang out with my friends, they have to know a day ahead. They won’t let me be independent, they always want to keep me close to them and never let me have my own life. I’ve argued with them that I’m 21 and i have my own life but he would always say I don’t care about the family and that I’m throwing our relationship away?

I feel so constricted because I want to be able to go out freely without them breathing down my neck on where i’ll be, who i’m with, what time i gotta be home. I feel so jealous of my friends who can just go out anytime they want. What makes it worse is that they won’t let me go out with my bf, my dad says oh you guys have to hang out in the house, u cant see him outside and no dates are allowed. His reasoning behind all of this is that I live in his house so i go by his rules, he’ll kick me out if I don’t.

I recently just got a job btw, which he was so against cs he doesnt want me to work. And now all of a sudden he goes, oh you’ll pay ur car payments, ur insurance and all of this but won’t let me work more than a few days a week cs he wants me to focus on school?

Idk i have no freedom and I always have to sneak around.

bitch is crazier than usual today!!!!! NOT a good way to wake up! anxiety and panic setting in.

FUCK YOU, YOU DON'T OWN US

I always thought it was normal growing up that when my parents are out ill be like can u get me this and that and I never gave them money (cause I had none since I was a kid in high school). Once I got a job they did the same to me and I never asked for money cause I just thought it was normal to do this for each other as family.

Now that were adults, idk how to feel about it cause when I visited my Asian friends house, their parents always paid them back no matter what if they asked them to get something for them. I was shook when they did this cause im like why are you they offering to pay you back but it seems like its the right thing to do as adults now??

tw: gaslighting, abuse, physical abuse, cops doing nothing

I (23) have been trying to find places to move out to but it's near impossible living in a rich area and because despite working full time, I'm still financially dependent on ym parents. It was a depressing morning just realizing the amt of money i make will mean a very tight budget, etc.

This entire day is going to be stressful. An aunt I don't even care about (And I thought my dad hated/didn't get along) is visiting with her two small kids. I'm not in the mood to entertain them, I'm already under a lot of pressure. I need to clean my room and haven't because I've been extremely burnt out from my job. So today was that day. The problem is my parents have been calling me to do extra tasks.

Since this morning, if I'm close in proximity to my dad, he shoves me. Not a gentle nudge, not a 'touch', he is shoving me. And when he does, I say what is wrong with him because this is immature behavior. He then gets mad at me for 'screaming' at him. I say I'm 'screaming' because if I ignore him, or tell him politely, he still does it. My mom only comes to defend him and tell me to stop screaming.

As soon as my mom is gone, dad tries to punch/slap me. I catch his hand and tell him to 'do it again', he tries to do it with his other arm and I catch that too. My mom comes over again to tell me to stop screaming. I keep telling her he's trying to hit me. She doesn't care. She says it's my fault and I need to clean my room. Then mom leaves again, and then my dad whacks me, kicks me, 4 times and I'm on the ground.

There's no bruises or marks, but ofc it hurt.

He then breathes hard, towers over me and calls me a slur in my mother tongue (meaning prostitute/widow) and tells me that he's my dad and he can do whatever he wants. He mocks me saying that we are both adults and he will happily fight me in court.

I go back to my room and quickly lock the door. My dad is once again lying to my mom. My mom is 'quietly' telling my dad to stop calling me a prostitute widow, dad doesn't care. On impulse I call 911, but I chicken out, there's no point. Nothing will be done.

The police do come though 20 min later, and try to ask what happened. I recall everything, and I just don't know what to do. They talk to my parents, where both parents brush off what happened. My dad straight up defends himself, saying "Oh, she's at that age, yknow, she's frustrated, you know, I told her 3 months ago that without this job that she's 'nothing' and it's true, she's under stress" all that. The police do ask him whether or not he hit me, and at first my dad tries to deny it, but then he's like 'fine i won't lie, yes i did'. When they talk to my mom, all my mom says is that 'oh yeah we get along as a family, but occassionally we get frustrated'. And that's it. They're gone, they're leaving me alone.

I feel like garbage though. What was the fucking point of calling the police. Why did I even do that if they were just gonna do nothing? I'm fucking tired of my dad being an asshole to me and my mom doing nothing to defend me. I don't care that there's people coming over today, I just feel hopeless.

As a kid and even as an adult, when a family friend or relative wants to give me a birthday gift or just a gift in general (for graduation or a milestone), my mom would vehemently reject it. These are usually people who have my mom's contact and don't have my number so I wouldn't know about it unless my mom mentions it.

I always thought it was weird she would do this. My mom's sister bought me a Gameboy when I was 7 and the next day my mom took me to the store to return it. There were similar moments growing up where she would return gifts given to me. The most recent was for my wedding. Our family friend for 30+ years wanted to give me a gift but my mom rejected it. I confronted her and she said I would owe all these people and would need to pay them back. I don't understand how someone can think like that about a gift. Can someone relate and help me understand her transactional thinking? It's not like my mom grew up poor. My grandparents were kind and nurturing and didn't show weird behavior.

for context, i’m 18f turning 19 who come from a low-income immigrant household of a single mother. i’m currently enrolled in my local community college.

growing up, i’ve lived with multiple families. up to grade 2, i’ve lived with my aunts in my dad’s home country. due to my visa’s expiration, i had to leave back to canada and lived in my dad’s house with my other half-siblings and cousins. i started grade 3 having to learn english and adapt to the new school system. i’ve always struggled with studying but was never disciplined and held accountable for my poor grades (im not blaming anyone but myself). my dad wasn’t around so my cousin took over as my guardian. i graduated elementary school during covid and didn’t receive good grades, mostly developings.

my mom at this time was keen on taking me back as soon as she took out a mortgage for an apartment. my mom has always struggled financially to make ends meet and my dad never once contributed as a responsible co- parent.

so from here i started high school in a new city. my bad habits started forming in sophomore year in my english class. i remember i couldn’t finish an assignment due on that day and i was panicking because usually i hand things on time. so i decided to email my teacher to inform her that i was feeling sick to skip that day.

eventually, without any consequences, i skipped a few more times towards the end of the year by making excuses without getting caught. attendance didn’t affect my grades so i kept doing so to use that time off to study. i had and still, poor time management and every time i do assignments it takes me forever to finish. i would rewrite notes and start over again. the habit started getting worse towards junior and senior year, i started skipping more than i would have liked and this vicious cycle of shame was difficult to break because i felt like i’ve failed my teachers so i kept hiding to self-loath.

eventually, the school admin called my mom one day and broke the news to her that i was absent on one of the days. my mom came home and sat me down, she warned me to never be dishonest and tell her whenever things aren’t going well. my mom always vowed to others that i was her “youngest golden child”, who does well and will one day retire her out of her three children. to protect my grade while i was academically behind, i decided to block my school’s phone number from my mom’s phone. terrible mistake. i kept skipping, my senior year, i’ve completely given up. i couldn’t hand assignments and missed exams on time, so i barely passed my classes. i love my mom and the sacrifices she has done to give me the opportunities she never once had. but i’m a terrible daughter, i’m lazy and dishonest.

every year, my mom would ask for my report card but was never strict on having all straight As. in senior year, she asked me how my grades are looking like, i brushed it off and said i got into my community college and got a conditional offer at a university in term 1. after that, my grades went completely downhill and i knew i was digging my hole deeper and deeper.

currently, i’m taking a gap semester because i do not trust myself to do well in any of my courses. i’m lying to my mom that i’m still taking my courses and things are going fine but that’s far from the truth.

i started semester 1 as a part-time student taking an english and statistics course for nursing prereqs but my cgpa is really low, 2.83.

honestly, i don’t think im well-equipped to do well in nursing school if this is what my habits are looking like as an avoidant.

no one knows that i’m struggling with college level classes. i did went to counselling once in my senior year but he told me to suck it up and study every single day. that wasn’t really helpful but i knew he was right.

this problem stems more from not having a system that works for me. i cannot concentrate well and i put things off every time. i’m trying so hard to keep myself together but i end up falling back to my bad habits of doomscrolling on productivity content.

i fear of telling my mom my entire situation because she suffers with high blood pressure. my siblings as well, if i disclose that i’ve been dishonest then they will never trust me again.

i just feel extremely ungrateful and selfish when it comes to my wrongdoings. i don’t know how to bounce back. i currently have a part-time job but the fees of extra tutoring is too expensive to afford. i genuinely feel like there are huge skills gap for core subjects.

do i ask my old high school teachers for help? they’re already busy with their current students and i honestly feel embarrassed coming back for free tutoring (i’ve ruined my reputation of skipping too much already), so it’ll be disrespectful.

i don’t know what to do. please call me out and give me honest feedback.

I(26M) got married a little less than a year ago to a wonderful woman(24F) who is way too good for me. At that time my parents were either extremely happy and approved of her wholeheartedly or faked their joy.

For context, my parents are very narcissistic and transactional love type of people. I am a constant bragging point for them to use against their family and friends. Rather than see me as their son they see me as a trophy they can tout around. I knew there would be issues of some sort regarding my wife vs my parents and I warned my wife about it as well. A year in they have already gotten to the point where they constantly lecture and criticize my wife for every little thing she does.

I was at the tail end of med school so I ended up having to do some rotations in different states and decided that for one of the rotations we could spend time in our home city at my parents home and hangout with our respective families. My rotations were extremely busy and I would leave around 4 AM and often return around 6 PM. During this time my wife was looking for her own job. I had hoped that they would behave themselves while we were both working on our individual careers but they had other plans.

This month has now led to my wife resenting my parents to a massive degree. They would constantly criticize her throughout her time there and would often brag about my “future earning potential” as a doctor, saying that her looking for a job is useless. They also tried some of her cooking but were extremely disappointed for one fake reason or another. This all happened while I was not home so I never saw what occurred while I was out and my wife didn’t mention anything until we left. They also blatantly brought up these issues to my in-laws during a get together as well as forbade her from seeing them for more than a couple hours. When she did actually spend time with them, my parents would constantly blow up her phone with “when are you coming back” or “don’t stay too long” texts.

It has become apparent that my parents would like nothing to do with my wife, see her as some sort of servant for themselves or me instead of my life partner, and actively choose not to include her in family gatherings and activities. I have begun trying to limit contact with them due to their blatant mistreatment of my wife and essentially thinking of her as lesser.

I don’t know how to move forward and if we will ever have a normal relationship with them. Anyone have any experience if this ever gets better with time?

i just realized during my 17 years of living we have never had a guest over, my parents don’t go out except with us and outside of work. we don’t have any extended family in state, i’ve met my grandparents once when we went to korea. i thought this was normal for adults until i saw my friends parents having nights out and family reunions </3

So recently I had a so called 'argument' with my mother. Basically what happened was that I came home from an exam and just needed time to decompress so I clearly communicated that to her she took it as my exam going poorly so that's when her anger kind of began cuz i remember her screaming that 'your exam cant go poorly you have no choice.' well i was too tired to dwell on it so i took a nap. After i went to her and started talking to her abt my exam and abt how it actually went well i was just a bit tired cuz my dad came to pick me up around 30-40 minutes later than the expected time and i had been waiting there (ps there was a sand storm going on) so i wasnt feeling that great. While i was talking to her she was acting kind of strange but i ignored it like she had been dying to hear how my exam went and she barely gave a reaction when i was telling her abt it. When i was concluding my story i asked her how she felt now cuz she told me she was stressed and she said 'oh im normal now' and i was like oh ok great and was like soo what do you think like do u think i did well and she was like you have to i did this this and that for you and i was still kind of on edge so i went like well its ok i mean it wouldnt rlly affect you it would affect me more but she took this as an insult and started being all weird and she went on her agenda of 'your life is mine' to which i said 'i mean its my life' and she asked me how it was my life and started talking abt how she sent me to school and did all this stuff to which i said that it was her responsibility as a parent to provide all of that for me to which she had no other response than to repeat what she said before. I then started to change the topic to lighten up the situation and it was all great and she was also acting kind of normal-ish and even asked me more stuff but while i was talking she started going on her phone and started texting and stuff and got all excited (she is never this excited when i tell her anything even when i achieve smth) and i peer over her shoulder to see what it is and its my baby cousin crawling this obv ticks me off and i say smth like 'ok if u wanted a baby not an adult kid why did u have me' in english she took it the wrong way cuz she doesnt understand english properly and thought i meant to insult her and she went batshit crazy started yelling slamming doors cabinets throwing stuff around i just went to my room and didnt rlly do anything yet she escalated the situation to the point where she started saying shit like 'oh once you pass twelfth grade im gonna get u married off like ... mother is doing to her daughter (ps that person is old enough to get married and its only an engagement for now cuz both of them are in uni but she just loves creating her own little senarios cuz her married life doesnt statisfy her)' she then went to work and had enough free time to feaking msg me stuff on whatsapp saying stuff like oh i disown you and stuff and that getting u educated has had no use cuz ur useless and ill mannered (another ps ik annoying but she has been physically abusive ever since i turned 5 and verbally abusive ever since i can remember and her words hurt more than her weak ahh hits ever did). Now the next day she has been on her 'i have disowned my child' agenda and she seems quite happy to disown me and stuff and is like once ur exams end you have to move out of ur room and into either the TV lounge or the living room (i know its her just trying to take things from me to assert dominance or smth i just dont know what i did to make her hate me sm she has been like this ever since i was a little kid) and has been talking about how 'oh im gonna sell her gold im gonna do this blahblah' i seriously dont know what to do or who to go to so yeah

1. Signed me and my fiance up for a religious event and said she would pay for it and then later came back screaming from the temple that I am sucking her dry and I ended up paying her $2.5K out of my pocket for something I did not even want

2. Went shopping with her for her outfit and she tells the store associate I can’t afford anything too expensive as I’ve put in 100K for my daughter’s wedding. I have actually paid for her outfits and she has not contributed a single penny to anything.

3. My fiance and I also recently bought a home - she proceeded to invite a cousin I do not speak to for multiple reasons one of which being he continues to cheat on his wife to my housewarming that is extremely sentimental given this is the first home anyone in the family has ever bought.

4. My birthday is coming up and she sent a message in my family group chat without even letting me know that I would be celebrating my birthday at this time at a certain restaurant. My wedding is 8 days after my birthday. I did not want to do shit and she feels comfortable making plans on my behalf for my birthday with my in-laws.

5. when trying to coordinate a makeup artist for her and my grandmother and aunt - she is refusing to share or coordinate this with them because she is “overwhelmed” with wedding planning while she has done nothing and works 3 days a week in retail. She proceeded to call me “arrogant” and “eating your aunts shit” because I wanted to be accommodating and wanted to ensure we were on schedule.

This is only on top of the daily abuse of you’re nothing, you’re an idiot, your husband will see your true colors, just because you’re getting married and buying a home is just your luck and you actually possess no skills to achieve those things 😀

I moved in with my mom into an apartment 4 years ago because she was going through a messy divorce with nowhere to stay. The last 4 years have scared me more than my entire childhood - from blaming her divorce on me while I packed up and moved in with her and while I have emotionally and financially supported her is a level of delusion that is beyond me. At this point I am fascinated by what else she will do until the big day. Luckily my last day of living with her is tomorrow.

My Chinese mom (52F) recently found out about my (27F) tattoo. She completely lost her mind and went crazy. After a while she calmed down and asked if I would get more. I said if I want to I will, if not I won’t.

Then this woman said “I would disown u if u get more. I hate people with tattoos.”

I responded “That’s ur problem, not mine.”

Im a Chinese living in Germany with IT job and have absolute 0 intention to go back to China to work, hence the tattoo would by no means affect my professional life at all. Previously she was against it from a cultural and professional perspective but now she just has no respect for me as an independent human at all.

I have a whole leg tattoos on my leg that I didn’t show her, although I have admitted I also have tattoos on the leg.

Im not going to change my mind despite her disagreement but Idk how to make peace with her or make her not go mental when I get more tattoos. Maybe when I’m over 35…?

Anyone here relate? Dead on the inside and can really use a friend to talk to.

ok so i’m graduating middle school and i was asking my mom to buy me a dress since i currently have like zero dresses. then she immediately says “if it’s too expensive im not buying it”. obviously i get that there’s budgets and shit but that being the first thing she says when it’s supposed to be a milestone of me graduating

is hella weird. keep in mind i’ve also shown her a few dresses i wanted a few weeks ago and they’re from common stores that most ppl buy dressses from like princess polly or windsor at my local mall.

i’d get it if we were maybe poor or struggling but we are obviously not even close to that. they own a 3 million plus dollar house and my sister goes to fucking private school. we are probably way more well off then a lot of ppl. and that doesn’t mean they should spoil me but i’d say a graduation dress under 100 dollars would not be too much? all my friends even most that are not as well off are able to get similar dresses and then there’s my parents that will refuse to get me anything even when they clearly have the money.

the dress isn’t the only example too it’s for everything. like they’ll always complain abt things being expensive even when they’re rather cheap and they can fs afford it. it’s like an asian habit and it’s genuinely just ruining my life

​(Referring to my previous post: I am an 18-year-old student from Sri Lanka, currently preparing for my A/Ls. I’ve always valued logic and independence over cultural traditions, which has led to constant friction with my parents.)

​Things have escalated significantly since I last wrote. My parents are now using my education as a weapon, threatening to cut off my tuition funding whenever I try to set basic boundaries. They have strictly forbidden me from even taking a public bus to my classes, insisting on driving me everywhere because they view my desire for independence as a "waste of time."

​The situation reached a point where they forced me to remove a simple piece of cloth I had put over my bedroom door for privacy, calling me names and making baseless comments about my character just because I wanted some personal space.

​Now, they are threatening to take me to a psychiatrist simply because I am not a "yes-man" to their demands.

They label me as "emotionally cold" or "robotic" because I don't give in to their emotional manipulation.

​My mother even lashed out recently, saying I "won't be able to pass my A/Ls." She is using my future as a weapon to hurt me just because I’m not conforming to her irrational expectations.

​Here is the thing: Her words don't hurt me. I refuse to give in to her emotional bullshit or let her toxic, irrational behavior affect my headspace. I stay detached and logical because that is the only way to protect my peace and focus entirely on my academic goals.

​I am looking for advice on:

​Should I just "play along" with their rules to survive the next 4 months, or is there a way to maintain my boundaries without causing further chaos?

​

I am also considering calling the 1926 mental health helpline here in Sri Lanka to get some professional guidance on how to manage these family conflicts without letting them derail my academic future. Is it okay to do that while my parents are way?

I want to make it clear that no one can stop me from pursuing my education and my vision. This applies to my parents as well—my academic path is non-negotiable.

They often criticize me, telling me not to be a 'foreigner' or to 'forget my roots,' but that is a misunderstanding. I have no intention of forgetting Sri Lanka; it is my motherland. Wanting to study abroad or adopt an independent mindset doesn't mean I am abandoning who I am; it just means I am building a future where I can think and live freely

​I am just trying to finish my exams, get into Moratuwa University, and eventually build my own life far away from this environment. It doesn't mean that I dont look for my parents. Any perspective would be appreciated.

Thanks!