u/cookedcool

for context, i’m 18f turning 19 who come from a low-income immigrant household of a single mother. i’m currently enrolled in my local community college.

growing up, i’ve lived with multiple families. up to grade 2, i’ve lived with my aunts in my dad’s home country. due to my visa’s expiration, i had to leave back to canada and lived in my dad’s house with my other half-siblings and cousins. i started grade 3 having to learn english and adapt to the new school system. i’ve always struggled with studying but was never disciplined and held accountable for my poor grades (im not blaming anyone but myself). my dad wasn’t around so my cousin took over as my guardian. i graduated elementary school during covid and didn’t receive good grades, mostly developings.

my mom at this time was keen on taking me back as soon as she took out a mortgage for an apartment. my mom has always struggled financially to make ends meet and my dad never once contributed as a responsible co- parent.

so from here i started high school in a new city. my bad habits started forming in sophomore year in my english class. i remember i couldn’t finish an assignment due on that day and i was panicking because usually i hand things on time. so i decided to email my teacher to inform her that i was feeling sick to skip that day.

eventually, without any consequences, i skipped a few more times towards the end of the year by making excuses without getting caught. attendance didn’t affect my grades so i kept doing so to use that time off to study. i had and still, poor time management and every time i do assignments it takes me forever to finish. i would rewrite notes and start over again. the habit started getting worse towards junior and senior year, i started skipping more than i would have liked and this vicious cycle of shame was difficult to break because i felt like i’ve failed my teachers so i kept hiding to self-loath.

eventually, the school admin called my mom one day and broke the news to her that i was absent on one of the days. my mom came home and sat me down, she warned me to never be dishonest and tell her whenever things aren’t going well. my mom always vowed to others that i was her “youngest golden child”, who does well and will one day retire her out of her three children. to protect my grade while i was academically behind, i decided to block my school’s phone number from my mom’s phone. terrible mistake. i kept skipping, my senior year, i’ve completely given up. i couldn’t hand assignments and missed exams on time, so i barely passed my classes. i love my mom and the sacrifices she has done to give me the opportunities she never once had. but i’m a terrible daughter, i’m lazy and dishonest.

every year, my mom would ask for my report card but was never strict on having all straight As. in senior year, she asked me how my grades are looking like, i brushed it off and said i got into my community college and got a conditional offer at a university in term 1. after that, my grades went completely downhill and i knew i was digging my hole deeper and deeper.

currently, i’m taking a gap semester because i do not trust myself to do well in any of my courses. i’m lying to my mom that i’m still taking my courses and things are going fine but that’s far from the truth.

i started semester 1 as a part-time student taking an english and statistics course for nursing prereqs but my cgpa is really low, 2.83.

honestly, i don’t think im well-equipped to do well in nursing school if this is what my habits are looking like as an avoidant.

no one knows that i’m struggling with college level classes. i did went to counselling once in my senior year but he told me to suck it up and study every single day. that wasn’t really helpful but i knew he was right.

this problem stems more from not having a system that works for me. i cannot concentrate well and i put things off every time. i’m trying so hard to keep myself together but i end up falling back to my bad habits of doomscrolling on productivity content.

i fear of telling my mom my entire situation because she suffers with high blood pressure. my siblings as well, if i disclose that i’ve been dishonest then they will never trust me again.

i just feel extremely ungrateful and selfish when it comes to my wrongdoings. i don’t know how to bounce back. i currently have a part-time job but the fees of extra tutoring is too expensive to afford. i genuinely feel like there are huge skills gap for core subjects.

do i ask my old high school teachers for help? they’re already busy with their current students and i honestly feel embarrassed coming back for free tutoring (i’ve ruined my reputation of skipping too much already), so it’ll be disrespectful.

i don’t know what to do. please call me out and give me honest feedback.

for context, i’m 18f turning 19 who come from a low-income immigrant household of a single mother. i’m currently enrolled in my local community college.

growing up, i’ve lived with multiple families. up to grade 2, i’ve lived with my aunts in my dad’s home country. due to my visa’s expiration, i had to leave back to canada and lived in my dad’s house with my other half-siblings and cousins. i started grade 3 having to learn english and adapt to the new school system. i’ve always struggled with studying but was never disciplined and held accountable for my poor grades (im not blaming anyone but myself). my dad wasn’t around so my cousin took over as my guardian. i graduated elementary school during covid and didn’t receive good grades, mostly developings.

my mom at this time was keen on taking me back as soon as she took out a mortgage for an apartment. my mom has always struggled financially to make ends meet and my dad never once contributed as a responsible co- parent.

so from here i started high school in a new city. my bad habits started forming in sophomore year in my english class. i remember i couldn’t finish an assignment due on that day and i was panicking because usually i hand things on time. so i decided to email my teacher to inform her that i was feeling sick to skip that day.

eventually, without any consequences, i skipped a few more times towards the end of the year by making excuses without getting caught. attendance didn’t affect my grades so i kept doing so to use that time off to study. i had and still, poor time management and every time i do assignments it takes me forever to finish. i would rewrite notes and start over again. the habit started getting worse towards junior and senior year, i started skipping more than i would have liked and this vicious cycle of shame was difficult to break because i felt like i’ve failed my teachers so i kept hiding to self-loath.

eventually, the school admin called my mom one day and broke the news to her that i was absent on one of the days. my mom came home and sat me down, she warned me to never be dishonest and tell her whenever things aren’t going well. my mom always vowed to others that i was her “youngest golden child”, who does well and will one day retire her out of her three children. to protect my grade while i was academically behind, i decided to block my school’s phone number from my mom’s phone. terrible mistake. i kept skipping, my senior year, i’ve completely given up. i couldn’t hand assignments and missed exams on time, so i barely passed my classes. i love my mom and the sacrifices she has done to give me the opportunities she never once had. but i’m a terrible daughter, i’m lazy and dishonest.

every year, my mom would ask for my report card but was never strict on having all straight As. in senior year, she asked me how my grades are looking like, i brushed it off and said i got into my community college and got a conditional offer at a university in term 1. after that, my grades went completely downhill and i knew i was digging my hole deeper and deeper.

currently, i’m taking a gap semester because i do not trust myself to do well in any of my courses. i’m lying to my mom that i’m still taking my courses and things are going fine but that’s far from the truth.

i started semester 1 as a part-time student taking an english and statistics course for nursing prereqs but my cgpa is really low, 2.83.

honestly, i don’t think im well-equipped to do well in nursing school if this is what my habits are looking like as an avoidant.

no one knows that i’m struggling with college level classes. i did went to counselling once in my senior year but he told me to suck it up and study every single day. that wasn’t really helpful but i knew he was right.

this problem stems more from not having a system that works for me. i cannot concentrate well and i put things off every time. i’m trying so hard to keep myself together but i end up falling back to my bad habits of doomscrolling on productivity content.

i fear of telling my mom my entire situation because she suffers with high blood pressure. my siblings as well, if i disclose that i’ve been dishonest then they will never trust me again.

i just feel extremely ungrateful and selfish when it comes to my wrongdoings. i don’t know how to bounce back. i currently have a part-time job but the fees of extra tutoring is too expensive to afford. i genuinely feel like there are huge skills gap for core subjects.

do i ask my old high school teachers for help? they’re already busy with their current students and i honestly feel embarrassed coming back for free tutoring (i’ve ruined my reputation of skipping too much already), so it’ll be disrespectful.

i don’t know what to do. please call me out and give me honest feedback.

for context, i’m 18f turning 19 who come from a low-income immigrant household of a single mother. i’m currently enrolled in my local community college.

growing up, i’ve lived with multiple families. up to grade 2, i’ve lived with my aunts in my dad’s home country. due to my visa’s expiration, i had to leave back to canada and lived in my dad’s house with my other half-siblings and cousins. i started grade 3 having to learn english and adapt to the new school system. i’ve always struggled with studying but was never disciplined and held accountable for my poor grades (im not blaming anyone but myself). my dad wasn’t around so my cousin took over as my guardian. i graduated elementary school during covid and didn’t receive good grades, mostly developings.

my mom at this time was keen on taking me back as soon as she took out a mortgage for an apartment. my mom has always struggled financially to make ends meet and my dad never once contributed as a responsible co- parent.

so from here i started high school in a new city. my bad habits started forming in sophomore year in my english class. i remember i couldn’t finish an assignment due on that day and i was panicking because usually i hand things on time. so i decided to email my teacher to inform her that i was feeling sick to skip that day.

eventually, without any consequences, i skipped a few more times towards the end of the year by making excuses without getting caught. attendance didn’t affect my grades so i kept doing so to use that time off to study. i had and still, poor time management and every time i do assignments it takes me forever to finish. i would rewrite notes and start over again. the habit started getting worse towards junior and senior year, i started skipping more than i would have liked and this vicious cycle of shame was difficult to break because i felt like i’ve failed my teachers so i kept hiding to self-loath.

eventually, the school admin called my mom one day and broke the news to her that i was absent on one of the days. my mom came home and sat me down, she warned me to never be dishonest and tell her whenever things aren’t going well. my mom always vowed to others that i was her “youngest golden child”, who does well and will one day retire her out of her three children. to protect my grade while i was academically behind, i decided to block my school’s phone number from my mom’s phone. terrible mistake. i kept skipping, my senior year, i’ve completely given up. i couldn’t hand assignments and missed exams on time, so i barely passed my classes. i love my mom and the sacrifices she has done to give me the opportunities she never once had. but i’m a terrible daughter, i’m lazy and dishonest.

every year, my mom would ask for my report card but was never strict on having all straight As. in senior year, she asked me how my grades are looking like, i brushed it off and said i got into my community college and got a conditional offer at a university in term 1. after that, my grades went completely downhill and i knew i was digging my hole deeper and deeper.

currently, i’m taking a gap semester because i do not trust myself to do well in any of my courses. i’m lying to my mom that i’m still taking my courses and things are going fine but that’s far from the truth.

i started semester 1 as a part-time student taking an english and statistics course for nursing prereqs but my cgpa is really low, 2.83.

honestly, i don’t think im well-equipped to do well in nursing school if this is what my habits are looking like as an avoidant.

no one knows that i’m struggling with college level classes. i did went to counselling once in my senior year but he told me to suck it up and study every single day. that wasn’t really helpful but i knew he was right.

this problem stems more from not having a system that works for me. i cannot concentrate well and i put things off every time. i’m trying so hard to keep myself together but i end up falling back to my bad habits of doomscrolling on productivity content.

i fear of telling my mom my entire situation because she suffers with high blood pressure. my siblings as well, if i disclose that i’ve been dishonest then they will never trust me again.

i just feel extremely ungrateful and selfish when it comes to my wrongdoings. i don’t know how to bounce back. i currently have a part-time job but the fees of extra tutoring is too expensive to afford. i genuinely feel like there are huge skills gap for core subjects.

do i ask my old high school teachers for help? they’re already busy with their current students and i honestly feel embarrassed coming back for free tutoring (i’ve ruined my reputation of skipping too much already), so it’ll be disrespectful.

i don’t know what to do. please call me out and give me honest feedback.

for context, i’m 18f turning 19 who come from a low-income immigrant household of a single mother. i’m currently enrolled in my local community college.

growing up, i’ve lived with multiple families. up to grade 2, i’ve lived with my aunts in my dad’s home country. due to my visa’s expiration, i had to leave back to canada and lived in my dad’s house with my other half-siblings and cousins. i started grade 3 having to learn english and adapt to the new school system. i’ve always struggled with studying but was never disciplined and held accountable for my poor grades (im not blaming anyone but myself). my dad wasn’t around so my cousin took over as my guardian. i graduated elementary school during covid and didn’t receive good grades, mostly developings.

my mom at this time was keen on taking me back as soon as she took out a mortgage for an apartment. my mom has always struggled financially to make ends meet and my dad never once contributed as a responsible co- parent.

so from here i started high school in a new city. my bad habits started forming in sophomore year in my english class. i remember i couldn’t finish an assignment due on that day and i was panicking because usually i hand things on time. so i decided to email my teacher to inform her that i was feeling sick to skip that day.

eventually, without any consequences, i skipped a few more times towards the end of the year by making excuses without getting caught. attendance didn’t affect my grades so i kept doing so to use that time off to study. i had and still, poor time management and every time i do assignments it takes me forever to finish. i would rewrite notes and start over again. the habit started getting worse towards junior and senior year, i started skipping more than i would have liked and this vicious cycle of shame was difficult to break because i felt like i’ve failed my teachers so i kept hiding to self-loath.

eventually, the school admin called my mom one day and broke the news to her that i was absent on one of the days. my mom came home and sat me down, she warned me to never be dishonest and tell her whenever things aren’t going well. my mom always vowed to others that i was her “youngest golden child”, who does well and will one day retire her out of her three children. to protect my grade while i was academically behind, i decided to block my school’s phone number from my mom’s phone. terrible mistake. i kept skipping, my senior year, i’ve completely given up. i couldn’t hand assignments and missed exams on time, so i barely passed my classes. i love my mom and the sacrifices she has done to give me the opportunities she never once had. but i’m a terrible daughter, i’m lazy and dishonest.

every year, my mom would ask for my report card but was never strict on having all straight As. in senior year, she asked me how my grades are looking like, i brushed it off and said i got into my community college and got a conditional offer at a university in term 1. after that, my grades went completely downhill and i knew i was digging my hole deeper and deeper.

currently, i’m taking a gap semester because i do not trust myself to do well in any of my courses. i’m lying to my mom that i’m still taking my courses and things are going fine but that’s far from the truth.

i started semester 1 as a part-time student taking an english and statistics course for nursing prereqs but my cgpa is really low, 2.83.

honestly, i don’t think im well-equipped to do well in nursing school if this is what my habits are looking like as an avoidant.

no one knows that i’m struggling with college level classes. i did went to counselling once in my senior year but he told me to suck it up and study every single day. that wasn’t really helpful but i knew he was right.

this problem stems more from not having a system that works for me. i cannot concentrate well and i put things off every time. i’m trying so hard to keep myself together but i end up falling back to my bad habits of doomscrolling on productivity content.

i fear of telling my mom my entire situation because she suffers with high blood pressure. my siblings as well, if i disclose that i’ve been dishonest then they will never trust me again.

i just feel extremely ungrateful and selfish when it comes to my wrongdoings. i don’t know how to bounce back. i currently have a part-time job but the fees of extra tutoring is too expensive to afford. i genuinely feel like there are huge skills gap for core subjects.

do i ask my old high school teachers for help? they’re already busy with their current students and i honestly feel embarrassed coming back for free tutoring (i’ve ruined my reputation of skipping too much already), so it’ll be disrespectful.

i don’t know what to do. please call me out and give me honest feedback.

for context, i’m 18f turning 19 who come from a low-income immigrant household of a single mother. i’m currently enrolled in my local community college.

growing up, i’ve lived with multiple families. up to grade 2, i’ve lived with my aunts in my dad’s home country. due to my visa’s expiration, i had to leave back to canada and lived in my dad’s house with my other half-siblings and cousins. i started grade 3 having to learn english and adapt to the new school system. i’ve always struggled with studying but was never disciplined and held accountable for my poor grades (im not blaming anyone but myself). my dad wasn’t around so my cousin took over as my guardian. i graduated elementary school during covid and didn’t receive good grades, mostly developings.

my mom at this time was keen on taking me back as soon as she took out a mortgage for an apartment. my mom has always struggled financially to make ends meet and my dad never once contributed as a responsible co- parent.

so from here i started high school in a new city. my bad habits started forming in sophomore year in my english class. i remember i couldn’t finish an assignment due on that day and i was panicking because usually i hand things on time. so i decided to email my teacher to inform her that i was feeling sick to skip that day.

eventually, without any consequences, i skipped a few more times towards the end of the year by making excuses without getting caught. attendance didn’t affect my grades so i kept doing so to use that time off to study. i had and still, poor time management and every time i do assignments it takes me forever to finish. i would rewrite notes and start over again. the habit started getting worse towards junior and senior year, i started skipping more than i would have liked and this vicious cycle of shame was difficult to break because i felt like i’ve failed my teachers so i kept hiding to self-loath.

eventually, the school admin called my mom one day and broke the news to her that i was absent on one of the days. my mom came home and sat me down, she warned me to never be dishonest and tell her whenever things aren’t going well. my mom always vowed to others that i was her “youngest golden child”, who does well and will one day retire her out of her three children. to protect my grade while i was academically behind, i decided to block my school’s phone number from my mom’s phone. terrible mistake. i kept skipping, my senior year, i’ve completely given up. i couldn’t hand assignments and missed exams on time, so i barely passed my classes. i love my mom and the sacrifices she has done to give me the opportunities she never once had. but i’m a terrible daughter, i’m lazy and dishonest.

every year, my mom would ask for my report card but was never strict on having all straight As. in senior year, she asked me how my grades are looking like, i brushed it off and said i got into my community college and got a conditional offer at a university in term 1. after that, my grades went completely downhill and i knew i was digging my hole deeper and deeper.

currently, i’m taking a gap semester because i do not trust myself to do well in any of my courses. i’m lying to my mom that i’m still taking my courses and things are going fine but that’s far from the truth.

i started semester 1 as a part-time student taking an english and statistics course for nursing prereqs but my cgpa is really low, 2.83.

honestly, i don’t think im well-equipped to do well in nursing school if this is what my habits are looking like as an avoidant.

no one knows that i’m struggling with college level classes. i did went to counselling once in my senior year but he told me to suck it up and study every single day. that wasn’t really helpful but i knew he was right.

this problem stems more from not having a system that works for me. i cannot concentrate well and i put things off every time. i’m trying so hard to keep myself together but i end up falling back to my bad habits of doomscrolling on productivity content.

i fear of telling my mom my entire situation because she suffers with high blood pressure. my siblings as well, if i disclose that i’ve been dishonest then they will never trust me again.

i just feel extremely ungrateful and selfish when it comes to my wrongdoings. i don’t know how to bounce back. i currently have a part-time job but the fees of extra tutoring is too expensive to afford. i genuinely feel like there are huge skills gap for core subjects.

do i ask my old high school teachers for help? they’re already busy with their current students and i honestly feel embarrassed coming back for free tutoring (i’ve ruined my reputation of skipping too much already), so it’ll be disrespectful.

i don’t know what to do. please call me out and give me honest feedback.

for context, i’m 18f turning 19 who come from a low-income immigrant household of a single mother. i’m currently enrolled in my local community college.

growing up, i’ve lived with multiple families. up to grade 2, i’ve lived with my aunts in my dad’s home country. due to my visa’s expiration, i had to leave back to canada and lived in my dad’s house with my other half-siblings and cousins. i started grade 3 having to learn english and adapt to the new school system. i’ve always struggled with studying but was never disciplined and held accountable for my poor grades (im not blaming anyone but myself). my dad wasn’t around so my cousin took over as my guardian. i graduated elementary school during covid and didn’t receive good grades, mostly developings.

my mom at this time was keen on taking me back as soon as she took out a mortgage for an apartment. my mom has always struggled financially to make ends meet and my dad never once contributed as a responsible co- parent.

so from here i started high school in a new city. my bad habits started forming in sophomore year in my english class. i remember i couldn’t finish an assignment due on that day and i was panicking because usually i hand things on time. so i decided to email my teacher to inform her that i was feeling sick to skip that day.

eventually, without any consequences, i skipped a few more times towards the end of the year by making excuses without getting caught. attendance didn’t affect my grades so i kept doing so to use that time off to study. i had and still, poor time management and every time i do assignments it takes me forever to finish. i would rewrite notes and start over again. the habit started getting worse towards junior and senior year, i started skipping more than i would have liked and this vicious cycle of shame was difficult to break because i felt like i’ve failed my teachers so i kept hiding to self-loath.

eventually, the school admin called my mom one day and broke the news to her that i was absent on one of the days. my mom came home and sat me down, she warned me to never be dishonest and tell her whenever things aren’t going well. my mom always vowed to others that i was her “youngest golden child”, who does well and will one day retire her out of her three children. to protect my grade while i was academically behind, i decided to block my school’s phone number from my mom’s phone. terrible mistake. i kept skipping, my senior year, i’ve completely given up. i couldn’t hand assignments and missed exams on time, so i barely passed my classes. i love my mom and the sacrifices she has done to give me the opportunities she never once had. but i’m a terrible daughter, i’m lazy and dishonest.

every year, my mom would ask for my report card but was never strict on having all straight As. in senior year, she asked me how my grades are looking like, i brushed it off and said i got into my community college and got a conditional offer at a university in term 1. after that, my grades went completely downhill and i knew i was digging my hole deeper and deeper.

currently, i’m taking a gap semester because i do not trust myself to do well in any of my courses. i’m lying to my mom that i’m still taking my courses and things are going fine but that’s far from the truth.

i started semester 1 as a part-time student taking an english and statistics course for nursing prereqs but my cgpa is really low, 2.83.

honestly, i don’t think im well-equipped to do well in nursing school if this is what my habits are looking like as an avoidant.

no one knows that i’m struggling with college level classes. i did went to counselling once in my senior year but he told me to suck it up and study every single day. that wasn’t really helpful but i knew he was right.

this problem stems more from not having a system that works for me. i cannot concentrate well and i put things off every time. i’m trying so hard to keep myself together but i end up falling back to my bad habits of doomscrolling on productivity content.

i fear of telling my mom my entire situation because she suffers with high blood pressure. my siblings as well, if i disclose that i’ve been dishonest then they will never trust me again.

i just feel extremely ungrateful and selfish when it comes to my wrongdoings. i don’t know how to bounce back. i currently have a part-time job but the fees of extra tutoring is too expensive to afford. i genuinely feel like there are huge skills gap for core subjects.

do i ask my old high school teachers for help? they’re already busy with their current students and i honestly feel embarrassed coming back for free tutoring (i’ve ruined my reputation of skipping too much already), so it’ll be disrespectful.

i don’t know what to do. please call me out and give me honest feedback.