u/Both-Scheme-2620

​(Referring to my previous post: I am an 18-year-old student from Sri Lanka, currently preparing for my A/Ls. I’ve always valued logic and independence over cultural traditions, which has led to constant friction with my parents.)

​Things have escalated significantly since I last wrote. My parents are now using my education as a weapon, threatening to cut off my tuition funding whenever I try to set basic boundaries. They have strictly forbidden me from even taking a public bus to my classes, insisting on driving me everywhere because they view my desire for independence as a "waste of time."

​The situation reached a point where they forced me to remove a simple piece of cloth I had put over my bedroom door for privacy, calling me names and making baseless comments about my character just because I wanted some personal space.

​Now, they are threatening to take me to a psychiatrist simply because I am not a "yes-man" to their demands.

They label me as "emotionally cold" or "robotic" because I don't give in to their emotional manipulation.

​My mother even lashed out recently, saying I "won't be able to pass my A/Ls." She is using my future as a weapon to hurt me just because I’m not conforming to her irrational expectations.

​Here is the thing: Her words don't hurt me. I refuse to give in to her emotional bullshit or let her toxic, irrational behavior affect my headspace. I stay detached and logical because that is the only way to protect my peace and focus entirely on my academic goals.

​I am looking for advice on:

​Should I just "play along" with their rules to survive the next 4 months, or is there a way to maintain my boundaries without causing further chaos?

​

I am also considering calling the 1926 mental health helpline here in Sri Lanka to get some professional guidance on how to manage these family conflicts without letting them derail my academic future. Is it okay to do that while my parents are way?

I want to make it clear that no one can stop me from pursuing my education and my vision. This applies to my parents as well—my academic path is non-negotiable.

They often criticize me, telling me not to be a 'foreigner' or to 'forget my roots,' but that is a misunderstanding. I have no intention of forgetting Sri Lanka; it is my motherland. Wanting to study abroad or adopt an independent mindset doesn't mean I am abandoning who I am; it just means I am building a future where I can think and live freely

​I am just trying to finish my exams, get into Moratuwa University, and eventually build my own life far away from this environment. It doesn't mean that I dont look for my parents. Any perspective would be appreciated.

Thanks!

​Hi everyone,

​I’m a 18-year-old student from Sri Lanka, currently studying for my A/L exams (Maths stream). I’ve always been someone who values logic over cultural traditions, but my parents—especially my mother—constantly label me as a "Robot" or "emotionless" because I don't conform to their expectations. ​Here is the situation: ​The "Toxic" Environment: My parents have a very unstable relationship. My mother is highly suspicious and prone to emotional outbursts. Growing up in this environment has made me crave peace and distance. ​The Trap: They have already bought a plot of land next to their house, expecting me to build my future home there so I stay "under their sight." They view this as love, but to me, it feels like a cage. ​My Vision: I want to move to the US for my higher studies and career. I have also decided to be child-free. I want a quiet, independent life where I can focus on my work and mental health without family drama. ​When I try to express my ideas (even if I sound a bit blunt), they tell me I’m being ungrateful and that I should stay where they can see me. I plan to learn mobile hardware repair as a side hustle to gain some financial independence during university. ​I wanted to ask this community:

​Has anyone else from a traditional Asian background successfully moved away to find peace, despite the "guilt-tripping"?

Am I really being "robotic" for choosing logic and mental peace over cultural expectations of being the "good son" who stays nearby?

Would really appreciate some perspective from those who have been through similar situations. Thanks!

One more thing: I still treat them well and take care of my responsibilities toward them, but I do it because I want to, not because they force me to. I choose to be kind on my own terms, yet they still label me as 'robotic' because I don't give in to their emotional control."