AITAH for telling my friend his weight is ruining my vacation?
I (21F) am currently on vacation with my friends, Apple (21F), Banana (22F), Clementine (21M), Durian (22M). Last year we decided to book our first proper friend group trip after having known each other for 3 years, we booked a month long trip through South East Asia.
My friend Durian has been struggling with his weight for the past couple of years. Two years ago he confided in us that he struggles with binge eating and low self esteem due to the way he looks. We've tried helping him in several ways but he never accepts any help and avoids the topic altogether. If you bring up the topic he just changes the subject or says he will try his best to seek help but doesn't end up taking any action. We have thus decided we won't talk about it anymore unless he brings it up himself, because Durian told us we are putting too much pressure on him which worsens his mental health.
One year ago when we booked our trip Durian announced that he would be going on a proper weightloss journey. We were kind of skeptical because he hadn't worked on his mental health so we didn't believe weightloss would be possible without fixing the cause first, but still we decided to support him the best we could. His goal was to go from 18 stone to 14 stone in one year. I myself am not the fittest so I told him we should start training together. For about a month he showed up to our training session but then just stopped coming. He always had an excuse of why he couldn't come. We tried asking him how he was doing with the weightloss but he would always answer saying it is a private matter and talking about it makes him uncomfortable. One month before we left for our holiday he told us he had gained almost 2 stone during the year.
As the trip came closer I started to get annoyed by his behavior. He continually complains about seating, people giving him looks (which I haven't noticed), walking, not wanting to go sightseeing, that he doesn't have clothes etc.
I don't mind him not participating in certain plans but the constant nagging is just ruining my mood. My last straw was the water park. The whole ride to the park he just kept saying how insecure he is about his body and that he can't handle going to a place where people will be looking at him. He then refused to enter the park and made a whole scene at the entrance. I just told him that he doesn't have to go if he doesn't want to but to not ruin my vacation with his weight problems and that he should have thought about this before coming here. After I said this he went back to the AirBNB with Banana. Apple and Clementine are on my side saying he brought me to my breaking point and that he should apologize for his behavior. But Banana thinks I was to harsh and should have thought about his mental health. I haven't talked to him in two days and we still have three weeks left of our trip. Am I the Asshole?