u/TalkTalkTalkListen

So for context, my ex-wife was a SAHM who I found out was dropping our son off with her mom so she could cheat on me and told her mom she got a part time job. I found out from her leaving her Snapchat connected to our iPad and got notifications of multiple men she was sleeping with. She also remarried a few years ago and cheated on her new husband, although they're still together and she's still a SAHM. She hasn't had a job in over a decade.

Recently I was sent videos from someone who I met through her of my ex making "relationship coach" videos and giving advice. She's an attractive woman and in her videos she was wearing provocative clothing, usually just a push up or sports bra and shorts and has catered more to men because of it, who were all commenting on how brave she was and "any guy would be lucky to have you." etc. I decided to make an account and commented, "I think it's hilarious you're making videos about relationship advice when you've been unfaithful in both your marriages with multiple men." I left it at that, but apparently that created a big rift in the men who were following her and sending her money through the app she was using. Now she's blaming me for loss of "income" and when I sent that to her husband asking if he knew, he did not. So now they're in a huge fight and he's now considering divorce because of it.

AITAH here, or was I justified in calling her out on her grift and possibly causing their divorce?

AITAH for refusing to watch my grandkids during Summer break. Me (53F), full time college professor. My daughter (26F), stay-at-home mom. Grandkids (8M, 5F, 1F). My daughter, let's call her Katie, has 3 kids and lives with her boyfriend. She is a stay-at-home mom with no other responsibilities. I work as a full-time professor and have the months of June and July off. I typically use this time for training and professional development. Katie has hinted many times through the spring semester that she can't be home with the kids all summer and even has gone as far as asking me to keep them for a few weeks at a time. She has quite the explosive temper and whenever I don't do as she asks she throws a fit: screaming, yelling, and name calling until I cave. The day before Mother's Day she wanted me to watch the 1yr old. I told her that I am injured (hurt my knee and it is difficult to walk) and her dad is super tired. She threw a fit and told me to grow up and that dad should "act like a man" and just get over himself. We eventually caved and took all the kids so they wouldn't be around her that day. Fast-forward to the next day when she blocked my phone number and her dad's and didn't even call to say Happy Mother's Day. That is all fine, but the next day she calls her dad all nicey-nice and asks if he can watch her kids just one day a week during the summer so she can have a break. He tried to cave but it was an ABSOLUTELY NOT! from me. Now everyone thinks I am the A-hole but honestly I would rather work all summer than have to deal with her. My husband says it's for the grandkids and not her but I can't help but think we are rewarding her bad behavior. So, AITAH?

This is from a few years ago, but it's come up in arguments lately so I figured I'd get some outside opinions. My mom is what you might call a spite cleaner. She uses cleaning as a tool to control and nag and wine and whatnot. My siblings and I bore the brunt of it. Often she delegated cleanings to a saturday or sunday which we called "hell day"), she would usually go out to buy food for the week/errands and leave us to it, and it seemed no matter how much cleaning we did she was never happy with the result and the day would end with all of us arguing and upset. Sometimes we would barely do any cleaning since the end result was the same - her complaining.

Venting to each other outside the house one day, my siblings and I decided to prove she was just complaining for the sake of complaining. We set up a gofundme to raise funds to pay a local house cleaning company, posing it as something along the lines of 'help us get a professional house cleaning to surprise our mom!' And we were able to raise a few hundred dollars mostly from family and friends (who knew our situation), which covered the cost (and a nice big tip for the cleaners from what was left). So for one cleaning weekend when our mom had shopping plus getting the car looked at, we scheduled a local cleaners to arrive, they were 2 very nice women who proceeded to clean the house till it was sparkling (we chatted a bit with them while they were working, one of the ladies had almost 20 years experience cleaning homes, the other 8). With their consent, we filmed some clips of them cleaning, saying it was to surprise our mom.

So mom gets home with our uncle who was coming to dinner, and she's barely in the door, she's already started complaining about our "usual" subpar cleaning, that either I, my brother didn't clean the surfaces well enough or that my sister didn't sweep one spot. These were repetitive complaints she often said.

Long story short, we show her the footage, her face gets red and she proceeds to scream at us form embarrassing her in front of her brother, how dare we hire cleaners and have strangers in the house, blah blah. We argue back that this proves she just weaponizes cleaning.

It's been a few years since then, after the big blow up she just did most cleaning herself does she never admitted to weaponizing it. It came up again recently as us "tricking" her and I don't think we did anything wrong. AITAH?

My wife does most of the grocery shopping. She also loves grapes. She often eats them from the bag before paying for them (they are charged by the pound)

Tonight my older son got back into the car from shopping with her and said, “mom ate some grapes then put them back and bought a different bag.”

To which I say (in front of older son and younger one.8), “what the heck that’s stealing please don’t do that.” Also: you put them back? (She says they were rotten)

She got very defensive and we argued (in front of the kids) with me saying it is shoplifting and stealing. She says the store sells her food that goes bad sometimes and that we spend a lot of money there. And that it’s not a lot of money difference in weight after she eats some.

I fully realize she’s not stealing expensive things but now I am the asshole here because I discussed it in front of the kids and said she was stealing. I don’t think it’s worth getting caught, especially with the kids in tow. Also: setting a bad example.

She’s a great mom I feel compelled to say. Also note it’s mother’s day weekend….

But AITAH?