I live with my wife and two young daughters in a city where the public transit operates on an honor system. Controllers patrol the various lines and, if they catch you without a ticket, the fine is substantial, around €135. Annual passes are very reasonable though, so most people, myself included, pay for it regardless of how often they use it. My wife never has done that, since she can walk every day to work. She doesn‘t even buy single tickets most of the time she does ride, and simply keeps her app open and ready to pay in case controllers enter the car. I find this silly and tease her about it, especially since an annual pass is well within both of our budgets.
Today they caught her, while we were out with our daughters. My wife asked me to keep the girls occupied while she argued with the guy for five minutes about how hard it is to ride the streetcar with two kids, one of them a toddler, and how she was meaning to buy it the first chance she got, etc. He was unmoved, as I knew he would be. Those people, once they decide to fine you, won‘t be dissuaded by any argument. So I just let it all play out while holding the little ones nearby. Afterwards my wife was pissed at me because I “should have had her back.“ I said I disagreed, that while I personally thought it was a petty move for them to fine a mom with two young kids, I knew arguing over it would be pointless.
And though I didn’t say as much, I don’t think it’s a husband’s role to shield his wife from the consequences of her choices. Yes, riding with little kids takes all your bandwidth, but she made a choice over and over to save €30 a month even though it could have brought peace of mind just to pay it. (To say nothing about the dishonesty of only buying a ticket when you think you could get caught.)
All that said, should a husband really have his wife’s back when she tries to get out of a fine she rightfully has to pay? AITA?