u/have2leave

I'm self-employed and I paid for a service which was a business expense and I tipped.

Say the service cost $50 and I tipped $10, do I claim $50 or $60 for deductions?

I received a mic from a friend and I've been wanting to record audio content (asmr & regular). I'm on Niteflirt so I'll be uploading them as goodies. I'm hoping there's a market for it there considering these guys get off on audio-only calls. I'll be posting on other platforms too.

I'll be making audios and posting them regardless of the comments because I believe in trying everything out firsthand. Still, I'm curious to hear from other creators what your success rate has been with them. And if you're comfortable I'd love to get some numbers ($$$) to set realistic expectations for myself.

My favourites

• SPH guys - This is super easy to me. I just rattle off some insults and act grossed out. If my mind goes blank I can just laugh.
• Cucks - I'm very familiar with this fetish from IRL experience so I know exactly what they want to hear. As with SPH, I find it easy to insult them lol
• Good Doms - I love polite older men who rattle off a few instructions, don't push and understand the transactional nature of our relationship.
• Blowjob callers - This is only for phones but I have a few regulars who just want to hear me give a "blowjob". I barely have to say a word lmao

Least favourites

• Sissies - I never know what to say! I actually enjoy making sissification audios but something about a live call/private makes me freeze. I'm confident with this fetish IRL but not online.
• Pegging - Same as above
• Guys who aren't clear about their humiliation kinks! - Ex. They send a pic of their dick and I compliment it but they keep asking things like "Are you sure it's nice?". If I happen to misread the situation and insult someone who's not into that, it can be very damaging.
• Scat. - I tried briefly for the $$ (no actual poop, just talking) but those conversations haunted me. Nope. Never again.

I quit camming a while ago but I continued phone sex. The reasons for quitting were silly and I'm starting up again by the end of this week. I'm excited.

PSO made me good reliable money. As long as I leave my calls on all day, I'm guaranteed 150-200$ on an average day and more on a good day. And when I'm not getting calls, I get to focus on my own stuff at home. With camming it can be a real bummer to be working for 5 hours and come away with 40$ for the day if things were slow.

But the phones stress me out way more. It can be really tiring doing 1 on 1 calls all day and having to always know the right thing to say. I find I have to put in much more mental effort than camming. It's nice to be able to rely on body language when I don't know what to say. On the phone sometimes you get really quiet callers who give no feedback and you just have to kinda guess what they want.

I've been reflecting on my relationship, especially how my ex did a 180 during the breakup. I'm thinking that those periods of shutting me out emotionally, being very cold and matter-of-fact, leaving my messages unanswered for long periods of time, not reciprocating any sort of affection, those were all ways for him to gain control over a situation that felt threatening to him. I don't think he did it with the conscious intention of gaining control but it makes sense when I compare it to how anxious attachment presents itself. I'm healing but when I feel anxious it's because I feel I've lost all control over the situation.

Before the break up he was acting all logical and robotic. As I was crying, afraid that the relationship was ending, he stayed put together and confident. He even calmly told me to leave him if I'm so unhappy, which I don't think he expected me to do. But when I reached my breaking point and said I'm done, his behavior changed completely. He started to cry and was scrambling to convince me to give him another chance. I've already grieved a lot and my tears have dried up. This seems to make him freak out.

He usually kept me at arms length reassured that I would be on the other side waiting faithfully. Now I'm the one pushing him away. He has no more power over me. Realizing this has empowered me not to go back. I don't want to give him that power anymore. He keeps asking to take me out, he's showering me with sweet words and affection but I'm not giving in. I have a feeling if I get pulled back in, he's going to leave me just so he doesn't feel the pain of being rejected. As much as he pulled away from the relationship, I think having someone who stroked his ego no matter what satisfied him. He lost that. It feels good to reclaim my power.

I'm the one who broke up with my ex after his last period of needing space, aka shutting me out emotionally with no communication for an undetermined amount of time. It was my breaking point. I could no longer stay in such an unstable relationship. Right before breaking up he told me he wished I would break up with him if I'm so unhappy so that's exactly what I did. Now he's crying and asking if there's any way to make it work.

Before I would have tried to make it work again but I've realized that he's incapable of feeling true love for me. After many discussions trying to work through his avoidance together, a common theme was him "just pushing through". My love was pain for him and staying with me was making him suffer. He wants to be able to love properly and he said he hoped this relationship could heal him. A bit before leaving him, he was talking about his doubts about us. I asked why he didn't break up with me if he was so unhappy and he said "We still have a lot of steps to go through in the relationship." I told him a relationship isn't a to do list and that we would never run out of steps. There's no completing a relationship. He asked "Then what's the point if it never ends, if there's always another step to go through?" I don't understand his view on relationships but what's clear is that he views me as a project. His reason for staying wasn't that he loved me, that he loved spending time with me or that I'm a beautiful addition to his life. No, I'm just a checklist.

I know he has love for me to the extent that he can feel love but that's not enough for me. Multiple times during the relationship he said that if things were to end he would be satisfied with how much it has taught him about life and himself. He really wants to heal himself but instead of continuing with therapy, he decided to use a relationship with me as testing grounds. He's a very practical and determined man so it tracks but I thought there would be more humanity involved instead of treating me like a project to complete. Well now he has to go find some other poor soul who he can destroy as part of his journey.

I recently left my avoidant boyfriend. As sad as I am, the relationship wore me down so much that I already feel lighter after less than a week. The moment I made my decision, I felt a weight off my shoulder. I understand I'm in a lucky position to have been the one to leave and that being discarded by them is very painful.

I'd love to hear about others' journeys to happiness and peace. For me, I am looking forward to not questioning my worth 24/7. I'm looking forward to not feeling like I'm hanging on by a thread to a partner who's detaching. I won't be having conversations every few weeks about how unhappy he is and how he can't feel enough love for me only for him to feel better after those conversations and for me to feel dead inside. There will be no more moments of euphoric love followed by a complete shut down leaving me confused. I always hated watching him transition in real time from "I love her so much!" to being completely emotionless.

I felt on the path to secure attachment when I met him. He even used to tell me how impressed he was that I was so secure in relationships. That didn't last long. Soon enough I felt like I was going crazy every other week. If I had been fully secure I would have left earlier. Now I'm free! I'd rather deal with the heartbreak of losing him than a lifetime of doubting myself and stressing over someone who can't love me back. I don't plan on dating again soon but if/when I do, I won't settle for someone who isn't sure about me and who doesn't love me with his entire heart. And if I'm alone, then I promise to give myself all the love he could never give me.

I'm crying and breathing a sigh of relief at the same time. I'm going on a month-long trip in June. I'm returning to an old job I loved and made good money with. I feel like the world has opened up to me. There is so much more to life than stressing over someone who's made it clear they can't love you. I was so drained that I had put my life on pause. I used to be fun and alive. I loved myself and was confident in my worth. Love was something I would offer the world abundantly. I would sometimes meditate and cry from all the love that I felt around me. I feel that relationship almost destroyed that gift of love but I'm taking it back and protecting it. I will still love as much as possible but I won't stay in situations where it's not appreciated or taken for granted.

I just left my avoidant ex. From the start I made it clear that I want a monogamous relationship. He said he did too. He had tried an open relationship in the past and claimed it wasn't for him. He told me that in dating he's only interested in being attached to one person.

As time progressed, his avoidant tendencies surfaced. Needing space, shutting down, detaching, devaluing, etc. There was always something to criticize about me. The problem was always me, not him. Without saying it, that's the message he was putting out. He couldn't love me properly because I didn't line up with his idea of an ideal partner, not because of his own fear of love. He's 34 and prior to me his longest relationship was 6 months. I am the first person he has ever fallen in love with. But the closer he got to me, the more things about me he found to pick at.

Eventually, during a period of detachment, he said he was bored of our sex life and wanted to try a threesome. I shut that down after he got mad that I would want a threesome with 2 men. More and more, he'd bring up open relationships as a casual conversation. For example, talking about a friend who's open or something he read online but not asking for that in our relationship. Finally, I ended things when he said he would feel more authentically himself if he was allowed to flirt with other women. I said ok but I'll be flirting with other men. He wasn't ok with this so I left. His flirting request came after a week of the coldest emotional shutdown I've seen from him. The cause was an argument which put him in a really bad light so he spent a week pulling away instead of facing his fuckup.

We talked post-breakup and he kept talking about how maybe monogamy isn't for him. I think during our relationship, the fantasy of non-monogamy was a way for him to escape. It was too painful to tap into deep feelings of connection and love for me but chasing that thrill of a new partner is comfortable. It's a quick way to get that excitement he craves from a loving relationship without having to be emotionally vulnerable. He spent his life sleeping around and even tried being in an open relationship and admitted it wasn't for him.

This is a warning for other women, especially people pleasers. I didn't follow my own advice but learn from my mistakes. It has been repeated a million times and I thought I wouldn't fall for a man's bullshit but surprise, I did.

Be very careful when you start dating. My ex was fine with job at first and even encouraging but eventually it became a problem. He shamed me and I felt so guilty that I quit. He's rich and we shared a desire for a traditional arrangement of him being the main breadwinner in marriage. I quit my job confident in our relationship and our future. Well that went south very fast. Shaming me about my job was just the beginning of his controlling and manipulative behavior.

I became broke, moved back in with my parents & taking night classes in something I hated.

Yesterday I left him and I'm going back to my phone sex job. Don't be an idiot like me. Don't sacrifice your future for a man. I've booked a flight to Morocco to see a friend, I am planning on taking dance classes and getting a personal trainer once I'm back on my feet. I made A LOT of money before him and I will become financially independent again soon.

Don't let anyone shame you for what you do. They're allowed to not like it but if so they should leave you the fuck alone. These men will spend their days jerking off to the very women they look down on. I'm a proud phone whore!

I went through a horrible discard last week. We had a very difficult time the week prior after I discovered some serious dishonesty on his part. While I was still in shock from the betrayal, he shut me out for a week. He told me he was willingly turning off his emotions and that he can't care for my emotions during that time. That whole week was a nightmare for me. I had a constant pit in my stomach, so bad that I couldn't sleep or if I did, it would wake me up in the middle of the night. At the end of the week when he finally "allowed" me to see him, I cried for hours. I was in a fetal position bawling my eyes out. He was cold the entire time. I begged him to show me some warmth but he said he doesn't want to access his emotions. While I was in pain and crying he told me how that was the best week he had in a long time. He said this knowing that I was crying and anxious all week and consuming substances to cope with the pain.

Then two days later he came to me with some bullshit about wanting to be his authentic self. This to him means being allowed to flirt with other women. Now, as much as he likes to tell me I'm too jealous, I'm actually willing to face my fears and explore something like this together. So, I said sure but I would want to flirt with men too. He couldn't accept that. He said he doesn't want an "eye for an eye" relationship. Basically he's an insecure asshole who thinks I'm stupid and desperate enough to agree to such a ridiculous request.

Well today I let him know I'm not taking this bullshit. He can try to manipulate and coerce me into agreeing to it but I'm standing my ground. It's extra insulting to tell me you want to go flirting with other women, making them feel sexy and desired after pushing me out for a whole week making me feel undesirable. And after betraying my trust! What a moron! He tried convincing me that I was being petty by wanting an equal opportunity relationship. When he realized I was serious about ending things over the flirting situation he became desperate. He told me how much of a catch he is and implying that because he's handsome, rich, fit, etc. I should be willing to allow him this one thing. He told me how if I stay with him I'm set for life financially. So now he wants to spend the rest of his life with me? Interesting, because all I ever saw from him until now has been fear and uncertainty about our future. Then he tried using me being sexually submissive as a manipulation tactic saying he felt betrayed and I lied about being submissive because if I truly was then I wouldn't want to flirt with other men. Can you believe this? He managed to flip this on me saying I betrayed him and lied to him. I'm submissive, not a fucking cuck.

Anyway, it's over now. I have to see him Saturday to get my things from his place but it's over. I'm sad but I know this is the right decision. I deserve peace. If I'm in a relationship, I deserve someone who isn't afraid to love me. I deserve someone who is sure about me. Today I booked a flight to Morocco to see a friend. I'm leaving in less than a month. This saved me or else I worry I wouldn't have left. It would be too easy being in the same city to go back to him. He's hurting now and is in shock. He keeps messaging me that he can't believe this is happening. He had left me once before and I heard from friends that he wasn't handling it well. He was completely heartbroken. This time will haunt him worse than before, mark my words.

For all the shit you put me through, you will feel 100x the heartbreak I felt. You will lay awake at night in regret. No amount of sex, drugs, or partying will be enough to run away from the pain of losing my love. Fuck you.

I was blind to his manipulation and how he used being an ''avoidant'' as a way to excuse all the hurt he put me through. He has cheated on me, shut me out emotionally for weeks, asked for one sided monogamy, played the victim when I got angry about his infidelity.

He's 34 and I'm 26. He used my lack of experience in life as a weapon against me. Once he told me regarding some work situation ''I'm not worried because I know how to use words to get what I want.'' This raised alarm bells but I chose to ignore them.

I'm so in love with him. It's hard to leave but I have no other choice. I was in a physically abusive relationship before him and I thought I finally found something good. I'm angry that I'm in the same position again of having to leave and break my heart. It's going to be so difficult and I'm going to miss him like crazy. I'm most worried about the days where doubt and regret will creep in trying to convince me we could have made things better.

I'm so hurt by his infidelity and I grew to be very insecure about the thought of him with other women. Now I'm willingly letting go and I have to face the fact that he'll meet other women, sleep with then and even fall in love with them. I wanted to be his one and only. I thought I was the love of his life. His future wife, the future mother to his children. I saw old couples and pictured us at that age and now by when we reach that stage, we'll be strangers to each other.

How on earth do you deal with this pain? I don't have many friends and my best friend just moved to another city. I'm lucky enough to have a way to support myself financially and I live alone so I don't have to deal with the mess of moving out. And my friend invited me to join her on a trip to Morocco in June if I leave him so I can look forward to that.

I just want support, advice, love, anything. Please

I've been in a monogamous relationship with my boyfriend for over a year. I'm very happy with it just being the two of us. He on the other hand has opened up about desires to feel more ''free''. He's framing this as a need so that he can feel more aligned with himself. For me I don't have this need.

What I do have, however, is a need for an equal opportunity relationship. I told him this and he says that I'm just trying to get even with him. Since I am perfectly happy being monogamous, he says I would only be seeing other people out of spite. In my opinion, this is only true to the extent that I want equality in my relationship. I've put my desires for other people to the side to prioritize a mutually monogamous relationship. This was satisfying to me. But if that monogamy isn't reciprocated, I have no desire to be 100% loyal to only my partner.

I enjoy flirting, I'm attracted to others, I enjoy a variety of partners when I'm single but I don't miss those things when in a fulfilling monogamous relationship. His claim is that since I was happy to put those things aside for him, then a two sided open relationship would just be an eye for an eye rather than us individually chasing our unique needs and desires. But my desire is to be equal to my partner! It seems unfair that one is ''allowed'' one thing and the other isn't, no?

Thoughts?

UPDATE: I left him. Thank you everyone for confirming that I'm not crazy. This was an eye opening experience and showed me how manipulative he has been in the past too. I say this with love and appreciation to everyone on this sub but I am happy to not be coming back. Nothing wrong with ENM but I know it's not for me and I no longer have a manchild trying to coerce me into it (or weird dubiously-consensual one sided poly). Thank you everyone again for your support ♥

My boyfriend admitted to cheating at the very start of the relationship and to another ''crossing the line'' situation. The second incident, how he describes it, is he was talking to this woman, she started talking about her developing body (eyeroll) and he asked her to take her shirt off to show him. Though she crossed a line with that flirtatious conversation, she at least drew a line at his request and said it was a bad idea.

I didn't want to know who it was initially but said I don't want this woman at our events and that I hope she's someone I don't regularly interact with. He told me not to worry. The thing is, at the time this happened, he hadn't told many people about me so I assumed she must have been somewhat close to him. I expressed this fear to him and again he told me not to worry. He basically insinuated she wasn't someone close to him.

We've been in couple's therapy for over a month now and I decided I want to know her identity after all. I begged him to tell me. I ran down his list of female friends asking him ''is it her?'' and he refused to tell me anything. Then it turned to ''I'll tell you eventually but please calm down.'' I said he needed to tell me now or I'll have to figure it out myself. Well, he refused to tell me.

He has 3 close female friends. I messaged one, was vague, but to summarize I wrote: ''Hi, this is an awkward question to ask but I learned X crossed a line with a female friend of his. He's refusing to tell me who it is. I need to know if it's you. If it was, I don't want any animosity between us but I need clarity.''

Turns out it wasn't her, he was very angry that I reached out to her and he told me the truth a day later. It ended up being another of his close female friends who came to our events and I chit chatted with a lot and even I encouraged their friendship.

In retrospect, I'm unsure it was a good idea to reach out to his other friend. Their friendship took a hit because of it. For two weeks now he's been beyond pissed at me. He's talking about how I have to rebuild trust between us after I betrayed the sanctity of our relationship by dragging a third party into it (the irony is not lost on me). During 3 different conversations on 3 unrelated topics, it turned to his lack of trust in me. TMI: I brought up a fantasy of rough sex and he said he didn't trust me and that he fears I would try to ruin his reputation by telling people he hit me without context. Like how I ''tried to ruin his reputation'' by messaging his friend.

He's lost one friend (I asked him to cut off the woman it happened with) and his other friend is upset at him because he betrayed me. I regret messaging his friend because I don't like our business being out there and I wish I had kept it together until our therapy session. But I am beyond frustrated by how he's somehow more upset at me over this than I am at him over the cheating. It's like he jumped on the chance to become the betrayed partner to relieve himself of guilt. Mind you, he hasn't earned my trust back yet at all. He's so angry at me now. I am shocked. I was ready to heal from a much worse betrayal and he's now stuck in victim mode about this?!

I'm in bed in comfy pyjamas and watching my favourite show. I have my stuffies with me and my blankets are warm and cozy. Yet I'm missing physical touch and care. My boyfriend needs space after a heated argument and is unable to provide emotional support for me right now. I'm deeply hurt and scared.

He doesn't really know about my age regression though he's seen hints of it. It's not a lifestyle he's interested in but I still usually get those needs met through cuddling and how overall caring/protective he is. It's scary now to not have access to that. I asked him to hold me earlier but it was mechanical. No affection. Still I clung to him like a baby and it was better than nothing.

Does anyone have tips on solo regression especially when feeling the lack of physical closeness? I wish my boyfriend would go back to his usual self or that my mum was here so she could hold me for a while. But it's 1am and I only have myself and my stuffies in my big bed.

I feel like I could throw up. It's 2am, we haven't talked in over 24 hours. We had a rough patch and he asked for space to focus on his job and health and to "think about the relationship". I'm going over to see him tomorrow and I'm so scared he's about to leave me. He was cold all week but his last message was a smiley face after I said "See you Friday". I keep going back to that for the tiniest bit of comfort.

I don't usually feel this kind of nauseating anxiety. I keep doubting my needs. 2 nights ago I called 911 for what I thought was something very serious (turns out I'm fine) and I haven't even told him about it. I don't feel comfortable telling my own boyfriend that I had the paramedics over at 4 am because I thought I was about to die. This isn't normal. He's supposed to be my life partner. I understand he's going through his own shit but am I really supposed to go through periods of receiving 0 support from him?

He's talked seriously about moving in together. How will that work when he wants no contact? Will I have to ignore him and be ignored in my home?

I love him so much. This is such a shitty situation. He broke up with me a year ago and I took him back. I am his longest and most serious relationship he's ever had at 34 years old. The only woman he's ever fallen in love with. When he came back is when he realized he was an avoidant type. I showed him a lot of love and patience. I let him pour his heart out to me when he had feelings of doubt/fear about the relationship. It broke my heart to hear each time but I held space for him to express himself and we always grew stronger after those conversations. A month ago we started couple's therapy, his idea. He asked me to commit to 3 months of therapy with him, no matter what. I reluctantly agreed because the idea of putting a date on when we make a decision about the relationship stresses me out. And now he's the one who might leave? After he brought up this 3 month commitment? I feel betrayed. We went into this as a team and he's ready to throw it all away at the first difficulty. Therapy was never going to be easy. What was he thinking?

I just want to go to sleep for the next 6 months. We recently went on a beautiful trip together. We were just about to start dance classes together. I had so much hope for us and he did too. I know he loves me deeply.

I'm a woman who got cheated on and put down for 3 years in a relationship. Throughout it, my brain turned the pain of betrayal into arousal and I developed a cuckquean fetish. I'm out of that relationship but fast forward 3 years and I'm still stuck with that fetish.

I actually kinda rid myself of it while single. I took a break from masturbating completely and when I restarted I was mindful to not indulge in those painful fantasies. Eventually it stopped turning me on as much and was no longer me "go-to".

Now in my new relationship we've been having some trouble and it's come back. When my partner fingers me I start imagining him cheating on me, ignoring me for other women, etc. It's taking a real toll on my self esteem. I'm worried that this is just a forever thing now.

I have plenty of kinks that turn me on a lot but this is my singular "go-to" kink that I can rely on 100% to make myself cum. I managed to sort of cure it for a while. It never became a turn off but for a few months I just didn't think about it just as I can easily not think about my other lesser kinks.

I want to get back to my old self. The things that turned me on naturally pre-betrayal trauma. I loved rough sex, bondage, cnc, being a domme, worshipping and being worshipped. I want these things that made me feel good about myself.

Please someone give me hope. Even if just one person out there has managed to get over it I'll be happy. Please do not tell me to let go of shame and to just accept it. I am more hurt than ashamed of it. I want to feel beautiful, like I'm the only woman my man needs. I want to feel like my sexuality holds power. Not that it's some pathetic thing that is easily outshined by any other woman.

We've been dating for over a year. The first 6 months, due to mental blocks I was unable to cum at all. Trust me, it was not due to a lack of technique on his end! Eventually, something clicked and I could cum again! Sex became more enjoyable for me knowing that we could both finish satisfied.

There are times I'm happy to give him pleasure without the expectation of anything in return but most of the time I want to cum too. I will take responsibility for not being more outspoken about my needs during sex. I don't usually ask him to give me an orgasm before he finishes because I don't want to ruin the mood. That's on me.

I know that it's harder for him to perform sexual acts after orgasm due to being depleted. I don't want to force him to do anything and so I'm timid about asking in case I'm creating resentment. He still provides when I ask but there's a certain disinterest from him after he cums that takes me out of it. He barely even wants to kiss me. I've resorted to developing a sort of fetish for being ignored while he fingers me or not being worth his attention.

Today we had sex and he immediately got up after. I said I was frustrated because I was extremely turned on and it's unfair that sex should end only on his terms. He admitted that since I've started asking to be fingered after sex he hasn't been enjoying sex as much and he misses the early relationship sex that felt more hedonistic. We share a free use kink but, and maybe this doesn't work with the kink, I don't think that should get in the way of equal orgasms. I'll sometimes give him blowjobs or let him fuck me without asking for something in return but I can only recall one time he fingered me without wanting anything himself. Nothing would turn me on more than him being desperate to pleasure me the way I am with him.

He says that he takes charge of his orgasms and I should to. That it shouldn't be up to him to make me cum each time. I understand his point but I don't know how to go about this. When I touch myself during sex it doesn't feel good. Sometimes I grind on him and that works so I guess I could do more of that but he gets too impatient to be inside me before I can cum. One solution that worked in past relationships is me being more dominant but he's only rarely into that.

I'm hurt that he misses when we had sex that was less enjoyable for me. I know that's not why he enjoyed it. I get it, it's fun to be selfish and take what you want without the added pressure. But I've been in past relationships were my pleasure was basically put on a pedestal. They would insist on making me cum before, during and after. Their turn on was my pleasure. Now I feel embarrassed and dirty to have desires. He's great at sex, the best I've had, no one has touched me like he has but I wonder if I was simply spoiled in past relationships and I'm being hit with a dose of reality. I'm not hard to make cum btw. 5 minutes AT MOST. He asked if he should just jerk off in bed next to me instead. That hurt. And he said "I made you able to cum again" as if that means I should settle for any orgasm I can get. Again, that hurt. Pettily, I'd like to see how he'd cope with his orgasms being an afterthought... Worse even, a burden.

Obviously I'm biased here so I'd appreciate honest opinions especially from straight men. Would you feel resentful like he does? Would you lose some interest in having sex due to added expectations?