r/offmychest

And I’m tired. I feel awful to admit it, but I just hate that this is my life. I never asked for this. I was apprehensive when I learned about the high risk nature surrounding our pregnancy, even when others were excited.

We found out we were having multiples at our first wellness check, and at twenty weeks we learned that he was growth restricted. His hospital course has been nothing but a series of unfortunate events that led to him needing a tracheostomy. Thankfully his siblings are fine, but in some ways they just make all of this harder.

I just want to provide the best life I can for them, but in doing so I feel like I’m failing their brother. Every moment spent with them, is a moment away from our hospitalized son. Every moment spent with him, is a moment I am an absent father to the others. I can’t help but compare them. It makes me feel awful, but when I see how well his siblings are doing I feel grief for him. Sometimes when I see him struggle, and I feel little because it is so normal for him to struggle, I can’t help but picture one of his siblings in his place. It breaks me every time.

We’ve been “three months away” from going home for so long now, but something just keeps coming up. A new complication, a new illness, a new medicine to wean, it just feels endless. I know whenever we do get home it will just become even harder. He will go home on a ventilator, and will require 24/7 care. My wife and I will be split between taking care of him, his siblings, and attempting to provide for all of them by squeezing in remote work.

When I was in middle school, my brother was diagnosed with cancer. It took nine months for him to die. I have spent the rest of my life terrified of becoming my parents, terrified of having a medically complex child. In the hard moments I envy how quickly it ended for them.

I love my son. I want him to live a normal life. This is just such a taxing situation that sometimes I feel stretched beyond my empathy for him. I don’t know why I’m posting this, but therapy doesn’t help. So I figured I’d scream into the void instead.

He was married to someone else for 15 years before she died in a tragic accident.

Meanwhile, he was pretty much my first everything.

I know that he loves me in his own way, but I also know I'll never be number one in his heart. I'll always be second place, the consolation prize for having lost the true love of his life.

On our first Valentine's Day as a couple, he gifted me a bag. I personally didn't care that much about fancy bags, but I still thanked him and showed my appreciation.

When I first moved into his home, I saw that he had not cleared out his late wife's closet even though she had already been gone for three years at that time. And what did I find among her clothes and accessories? A collection of fancy bags.

I tried not to think too deeply about it then. But it did make me realize that the reason he bought me that bag as a gift was not because he thought I would like it, but because he knew that SHE would have.

In the years we've been together, I have never felt like the home we lived in was ours, instead of just his. This house was the one she and he lived in together, long before I was even in the picture.

I never had the heart to ask him if I could rearrange the furniture or put in decorations that would be more my style. After all, my step-children lived there too. And I didn't want them to feel like I was erasing their mother's influence. I didn't want him to feel that he wasn't allowed to keep his happy memories with her.

But, increasingly, I can't help feeling that I might still just be a guest in this house and in his life.

He has a tattoo of her name on his arm, and a tattoo of our children's names. But my name doesn't have a place on his body. And maybe not on his heart either.

He's a good man, a good father. He treats me well overall, supports me in my career.

I think he does love me, but he loves me with half of his heart.

I feel selfish asking for more. But is it wrong for me to even *want* more? I honestly don't know.

I was a drug addict. I loved opiates. Heroin? Count me in. Oxys? I’m there. Coke? Let me get a sniff.

Today, I’m 8 years sober. I have no one to celebrate this with.

2 weeks ago, my mom bought me a new car (Honda CRV) and i loved it, my anxiety was being handled, my acne was clearing, i felt happy for the first time since october 2025. However, my friend who is a freshman in highschool while i am a senior asked me to hangout and i reluctantly said sure. I had a ton of homework to do and i was honestly tired but i already struggle to keep friends so i thought sure fine. Everything was fine until she asked to drive my car. I trusted her since she told me she had her permit and had driven before. I should have known to not trust her when she got the gas and break pedal confused. However i was stupid and continued to let her drive. She reversed back into a parker vehicle and then apologizes profusely as if that will fix it. I wish she had just told me that she never driven before instead of lying so I could blindly trust her. Im embarrassed and ashamed and don't know how to stop self loathing. She lied about having her permit and blocked me on social media after the accident. Now, my parents took away the car and i have to take the bus as a senior until i graduate (may 25) and i feel like my home life is ruined. I am honestly just getting by day by day knowing this isnt forever , but it hurts. Any advice from people with similar experiences? 😞

I’m a happily married 31 year-old woman. My husband and I bonded very quickly about how we never want kids.

Very, very, very rarely I will think that I want one for like a week, but then it goes away.

Especially little boys. I would rather never have a child than have a boy.

My husband and I love each other too much to ruin our lives with a child.

Being held back in life is not appealing.

I’m so sick of people telling us to have them but I believe that misery loves company and that’s why they keep telling us to do it.

I’ve been with my job for 10 years. This month was/is my 10

Year anniversary. I have a manager, but he’s utterly useless, just a body. He was hired about 3 years ago to replace my previous manager. On the company chart, I report to him. But I mostly work under the president of my company. My manager literally has no managerial power over me. ( which sucks, because I really want to expand my knowledge with a good manager )… anytime I have a problem, his answer is “ he doesn’t know, ask the president “… it sucks. The position gets rotated every 2-3 years because it’s just that kind of job. I’ve refused the promotion to that position for the better part of 7 years, as I’ve already seen it as “

Doomed to fail “. So I stay in my lane and just run my portion of the business. I WFH, and my pay is realistically 1/2 of what I should be getting paid. I’ve been working from home since 2022, no raise since then. But I’be justified it, because I’ve been able to watch all of my children come into this world and grow. Albeit they are all under 4… I’ve accepted the trade off. I’ve been looking for jobs that are like 7/7 ( certain amount of days on / off, so when I’m at home, I can just shut everything off. My job is currently 24/7 365 monitoring status, with physical presence required several times a month. I’ve interviews with about a dozen places over the last several years, but there just wasn’t one that I really wanted. Now I have just rcvd an offer to work 3 on 4 off at a pretty good company. I was waiting for the background check to come through and everything else. I finally got the “welcome to the team” I made sure to tell them I needed 1 months notice, so I can do a proper handoff to the next person they would hire.

I went to tell my President. Hey, thanks for all the time hear… truly appreciated… would like to offer 1 month to help transition. On my off time, I can offer contract work if you’d like… I’d be super cheap than having to find a replacement. But my main job is my priority, so if they need backup… please be open to it. As I never had any backup for my job.

He told me there are concerns that we are playing favoritism with having you work from home and that they would not allow me to have a second job. I told them my start date… he said you have to stay or leave. That’s it. I think he thought I was going to do the new job part time? Because I told him… okay I will leave. Then he told me to submit my formal resignation.

I sent the formal resignation to finish at the end on the month. He never countered with anything,.. but he responded by saying thanks for your time here, but don’t forget what you make hear. Insert shitty salary / insert medical bonus… he said for what you provide here, this is competitive.

I hadn’t responded to that message. The date he offered was in a few days. I don’t know if they are going to try and counter offer… but I’m just a little offended that they didn’t counter offer when I first presented the resignation

​

hi im 48f it's been 16 months since I lost my son. my baby boy, to terminal cancer. He was only 23. For a while, I thought I was doing okay, but the last month has been nothing but tears. Maybe it's because my husband of 26 years passed away last month too. I've lost two of the three most important people in my life. My beautiful daughter, 15, is the only thing keeping me going.

The fact that it's been 16 months since my baby has been gone is devastating. I've slept in his room a few times since he passed, but since my husband died, I've been in there more. I feel something special in there. It's the only thing that makes me happy at night, seeing his pictures on his wall.

My son was a beautiful young man. He adored his sister, they were so close. He was so sweet to everyone. I'll never forget him on his first day of school, so proud to be a big boy, with the biggest smile on his face. I remember his graduation, that was a very proud day. He always brightened up the room. When he was born, my dad, who hardly showed emotion, cried holding him. And after the funeral, my dad didn't leave the graveyard for hours. He loved my son; they got on so well. My dad was an amazing dad but an even more wonderful grandfather.

My son loved the outdoors. We always went hiking together, and I loved it. I was so happy that he wanted to do things with me – hiking, going to shows together. I loved every moment with my boy. I can't believe it's been 16 months. There isn't a moment when I don't think about him – his smile, his hugs, his personality, his love for his family, and his kindness. He was always so thoughtful. He was such a lovely boy, and seeing my daughter grieve his loss has been heartbreaking. No parent likes seeing their child cry.

It's been a nightmare 16 months for me. Losing my baby and my husband in such a short time is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I'm just happy my son isn't in pain anymore and that he has Dad with him now. I love you both so much. You both brought so much happiness into my life. Thank you.

My bf (m25) and I (f25) have been together for about 7 years and 5 months. This relationship has had multiple highs and lows. On and off. His bff (f25) has been in his life a little bit longer than I have. They have always had feelings for each other and unfortunately decided to act on those feelings behind my back. I truly have no idea wha to do. I found out yesterday and despite being understanding, I wish I wasn’t. They apologized and I told him if he truly wants to be with her then go for it. And he did. I know it’s like why say that if you didn’t want it to happen but like I just didn’t except it to be so fast?..idk. Just needed to talk about it.

I used to work with prescription benefits and insurance consumers. I don't want to give too many details due to some NDA stuff, but part of my job allowed me to see the manufacturer costs vs sale cost of drugs.

it was very rewarding to be able to help people find paths to being able to afford their medication, but the hardest part of the job was when they definitely couldn't.

it was a rare occurrence, but every now and then I would speak to cancer patients. The most notable was a father of an 8 year old with cancer. this is the one I'll use as an example because this is the one that hurts the most.

insurance wouldn't cover it, I tried a s hard as I could. this man cried on the phone with me because he couldn't afford the roughly $24,000 (USD) treatment for his 8 year old daughter.

I wasn't allowed to disclose details, but the manufacturing cost of this particular drug was $23. I was rather young when I worked here, and this gave me one of my biggest losses of faith in humanity.

My best friend since the first grade of 9th grade died on October 21st of 2025. We got in trouble as teenagers, loved each other unconditionally, held secrets no one else knew, went through high school, trade school together, and ending up working together for 4/9 years in our trade. We had so many plans, including getting platonically married if we were 45+ and single. We joked about having old lady adventures at the nursing home. I never imagined my life without her.

3 hour phone calls were not abnormal, but got more frequent in the past few months. I was fresh out of a long term relationship ending in psychological and emotional abuse as well as physical. I was experiencing post separation abuse while I fought to get my dog back from him. She was being neglected. During that 3 month battle (turned legal) is when my best friend died. It was an accidental OD from computer duster. She’d be so mad that she died from it (in a funny way).

I remember my parents knocking on my door out of the blue on a Tuesday night. I was happy to see them. They had never spontaneously dropped by to say hi before. My mom said she will never forget how happy I was when I opened the door, knowing she was about to tell me the life shattering news. My best friend’s dad had called my parents right after finding her body. He wanted to make sure I wasn’t alone when I found out.

That night was the worst night of my life.

She held my hand during the hardest times in my life without judgement, and I did for her as well.

I’m petrified at the thought of losing people and pets. I find new triggers everyday almost, but I’m doing the best I can to process and grow like she would encourage me to do. Thankfully I got my dog back, but she didn’t get to see my dog again and it haunts me.

I miss her. I just want to call her. I want to hug her. I want to tell her I love her one last time.

If you read this whole thing, thank you.

I (43m) divorced a year ago, and I’ve been more actively dating over the last few months. I’ve found that my profession has made it challenging to start new relationships and I’m not sure how to fix it.

I am a professional writer, and the last few years have become very involved in the erotica genre (smut, to some). I’ve built a following and have found this may be a sustainable career for me.

When asked on dates what I do for a living, I have been open about writing erotica. I’m not ashamed of it, after all. But I’ve found this disclosure kind of short circuits growth of relationships — either (1) it’s a turn off or comes off as overly mysterious or creepy, or (2) it puts the conversation immediately in a sexual place, before it feels appropriate.

I’m proud of my writing and the creativity that goes into it, but I want to find the right way and the right time to introduce it to women I date. I haven’t cracked the code and I’d be open to ideas.

Burner account. I (25F) have had a complicated romantic relationship with my best friend (31M). I’ll spare you the details, but for the sake of this post we’ll just say situationship. I want to preface this by saying that this man is the kindest most thoughtful and gentle man I’ve known.

Yesterday he was in a bad headspace, I told him he could come over and we sit together. The night was uneventful, with me finishing up some work and him just sitting on my bed on his phone. I finish up and we’re cuddling and this eventually escalates to sex.

Sorry that I’m about to be graphic, but I promise it’s relevant. In the past he’s finished without condoms or pulling out, we do occasionally dirty talk about having a breeding kink and often dabble with dom/sub dynamics. I did recently go off birth control for various reasons, so no finishing inside without protection anymore. Well he’s talking about finishing inside of me and I keep saying no you better not and he’s saying he will anyways. I feel a little uncomfortable but I know he’s just saying it to be sexy and I trust him. Well he says he’s about to cum and grabs me so I absolutely can’t move, holding my legs against him. He’s a fairly large man and I’m a very small woman, so I absolutely can’t move. I immediately panic screaming at him to get off me, which he does instantly. I do have a pretty extensive history of abuse and sexual assault. I started sobbing and he was apologizing profusely, holding me and saying he would never do that to me and he thought we were just role playing, he started crying as well.

I truly know he didn’t mean to upset me but I can’t shake the panic and violation in the moment, I’ve been crying on and off since it happened. I don’t know if I want advice or just to vent.

I think out of all its affect the most. Do you all agree. Does it still haunt you?

By that, I mean that she is so cute and her little voice and laugh brightened my day today

“I want to show him the garden!”

I FELT SO HONORED

SHE IS SO PERFECT AND I AM GOING TO EAT HER UP

HER LITTLE SMILE, LITTLE LAUGH, AAAAAAAAA

I LOVE HER SO MUCH

I have no plans and I'm not suicidal or anything but I literally just don't know what the point to life is. I'm 36, my wife died 2 years ago. No kids. I have a good savings account, a good job, good income, my life is pretty easy, but I just don't see a reason to bother with any of it anymore. if life was a video game, I'd be putting it on the shelf by now. I just sort of drift through the days hoping for a hit of dopamine or two. My dog is 4 years old, when her time comes I feel like I might as well just go with her. seems better than whatever I'm doing now.

Life is tiring and romance is tiring. After a lot of soul searching and a long time being single, and with my sordid past within romance department, and looking at other people's experience with marriage (my mom's, etc...)

I think I'm content if I never marry anyone in this lifetime. I'd like to, but tbh I don't know if I will find someone that made me feel ok about marriage. I felt that once a long time ago but it didnt work out and havent find anyone that i genuinely like since.

There's so many things I could say to you,

but I refuse to.

I hate you. I really do.

Every fiber of my being,

hates you.

I get angry when I hear your voice,

I hate the fact that I have to look at you everyday.

The face I once loved turned into the very thing that I want to destroy.

Everything about you enrages me.

The way you write,

the way you look at me,

you deliberately look at me.

The way you text,

the way you breathe,

the way you fix your hair.

I hate knowing that I ever let someone like you into my life.

I may hate myself to bits and pieces,

but I hate you even more.

My son was being held against his will by another boy.

it started with me asking my 3 year old son to get ready and leave this small cubby house he was playing in with another boy, presumably 5-7 years of age. much older. I said let's said goodbye to your new friends not before the little boy shoves my face and says for me to get away from my son and leave them alone screaming in my face. I was mortified. I was shocked. I turned to my family (My mother who we were having lunch with), I didn't know what to do. I proceeded to grab him and ignore this rude child but this boy then still refusing to let me have my son, takes him under a bench in the cubby where I can't get my son and bear hugging him qnd holding him so I can't get to him like a doll or teddy but it's my SON!. still not knowing ehat to do I grabbed my sons hand and tried to pull him hoping the child would let go seeing ym son wanting to come to me. but the chold then gets up and slaps me right across the face and screams at me. I having enough turned to him and raised my hand sternly and stated "We do NOT hit, and we never ever hit anyone, please let go of my son!"

the mother whose been on her phone the entire time magically has appeared and scolded me for telling of her son and to watch mine. I'm in disbelief I turn to her and say your son has just hit me in the face?! she replies with "So?" ....

so?! SO?! This isn't a so, this is a teaching moment. I should of told her what had happened but before I could or even have a moment to think she aggressively tell me about my child hitting her daughter. Now I know my son and he's not a hitter and the time i sat down briefly to check on my 5 month old with my mother i highly doubt he did as he is the most gentle kindest little guy and i dont have hom in daycare for fear of him losing this.

now, if this is true and by chance my son did hit that girl I would of course be sorry but she didn't say anything to me nor did she remove her daughter to safety if she felt that way. No, she lst daughter still keep playing happily together until my son moved elsewhere while being followed by all 4 of her kids. the manners she and her child displayed were horrific. I'm shocked. I feel bad for my son. my mum who I hadn't seen in awhile.

my mum stepped in when the other parent wouldn't stop shaming me, and I even muttered in this country we have manners. now this is where I believe I went below the belt because I felt humiliated and confused over her feeling she had the right to just treat me and my son like that while her son was being a horror show. this was nit my best moment I admit thst. to which my mum steps in and now the mothers filming us, carrying on stating we're are being filmed. we were in the middle of leaving anyway so we left with an eye roll while she carried out with her phone.

by the way she was horrible. I still get goose humps sitting here thinking about the experience. I can still see my baby scared being held and snagged and shoved.

please help me find away to let go of this.

it was suppose to be a nice trip for my family, I don't see them often as we live very far away I want to move on. but I can still hear her calling me "Babe" nd talkng to ME like a child.

it's so frustrating to say this because I've always dreamed of having a true girl best friend like out of the shows and movies, and a group of girls to do things with. I've always wanted that life and I even cried about it to my therapist during my autism diagnosis because she asked me my goals and literally my only goal was that...to have friends. still, I'm 24 now and it feels too late for me. other girls my age just never really vibe with me. I always end up friends with the old ladies at work, and not girls my age, but that relationship is hardly a true friendship. the old ladies are just more responsive and will pretend to like you more often than young girls with an "I don't owe anyone anything" attitude. i always consistently only ever have issues with female coworkers in the workplace. they go behind my back and say that I make them uncomfortable. I literally just come to work, say hi to everyone, mind my business and leave. I've never had any problems with male coworkers.

I just got engaged and kinda came to the realisation that I might not have any bridesmaids. there's some girls that I know in my personal life that I guess I can have as bridesmaids just for the facebook photos but how miserable is that? and maybe it's me having autism that makes me have a more rigid view of what counts as a friend vs what counts as an acquaintance but like I don't feel like I can candidly talk to these girls or that I really know anything about them. my best friend is a dude, my fiances best friend. i actually feel like I can be myself with him and confide in him about things. I've always been only able to form friendships with guys. I'm not even really a tomboy, I think I only felt forced into self identifying as such when I was young because girls made me feel so alienated. it got so bad that I even started to question and believe I was a trans guy or a lesbian, because I couldn't understand why tf I wasn't like other girls and I only ever was friends with masc lesbians and guys. anyways, I hate it, because it makes me seem like a "pick me". is there a solution to this...??

I work in the software development sector. previously out tech exec would push automation and now AI. The entire company is being pushed to use AI everywhere. makes my stomach sick. I need a safeplace where that hype is not mentioned. Christ!