I am a woman who cannot bond with other women
it's so frustrating to say this because I've always dreamed of having a true girl best friend like out of the shows and movies, and a group of girls to do things with. I've always wanted that life and I even cried about it to my therapist during my autism diagnosis because she asked me my goals and literally my only goal was that...to have friends. still, I'm 24 now and it feels too late for me. other girls my age just never really vibe with me. I always end up friends with the old ladies at work, and not girls my age, but that relationship is hardly a true friendship. the old ladies are just more responsive and will pretend to like you more often than young girls with an "I don't owe anyone anything" attitude. i always consistently only ever have issues with female coworkers in the workplace. they go behind my back and say that I make them uncomfortable. I literally just come to work, say hi to everyone, mind my business and leave. I've never had any problems with male coworkers.
I just got engaged and kinda came to the realisation that I might not have any bridesmaids. there's some girls that I know in my personal life that I guess I can have as bridesmaids just for the facebook photos but how miserable is that? and maybe it's me having autism that makes me have a more rigid view of what counts as a friend vs what counts as an acquaintance but like I don't feel like I can candidly talk to these girls or that I really know anything about them. my best friend is a dude, my fiances best friend. i actually feel like I can be myself with him and confide in him about things. I've always been only able to form friendships with guys. I'm not even really a tomboy, I think I only felt forced into self identifying as such when I was young because girls made me feel so alienated. it got so bad that I even started to question and believe I was a trans guy or a lesbian, because I couldn't understand why tf I wasn't like other girls and I only ever was friends with masc lesbians and guys. anyways, I hate it, because it makes me seem like a "pick me". is there a solution to this...??