r/malementalhealth

I was seeing a girl for a while and i had no interest of taking it serious and she said the same but when I tried to break it off the girl accused me of disgusting acts that I would never do and released photos of me whilst also making up stuff about me it’s my last year of school and shes in the same school. All of my friends have left me and decided to just put dirt on my name and I am now missing the last few weeks of school due to this and all the upcoming events, I can’t even leave the house im in so much shock and I’m not doing well at all I can feel myself just slowly falling apart. I used to be so into fitness and eating but I haven’t worked out and barely eaten in 3 weeks I feel like my life is over and I know people will say it’s not but I can’t do the things I enjoy like streaming or posting on social media I can’t even go back to school home has left me except my family but I still feel so alone I just want it to end I want to have friends again I can’t cope anymore I want it all to end.

Is it weird to be a virgin at 25? I turn 25 in 2 days and I was just wondering if it’s weird to be in this state.

I had a anxiety attack in front of my girlfriend and now I can’t stop worrying she sees me differently

I had a complete meltdown in front of my girlfriend recently, and I can’t stop replaying it in my head.

I get what I think are panic attacks from time to time. Usually I can feel them coming on early enough that I can calm myself down before they fully hit. It’s something I’ve learned to manage privately.

The other day, though, everything lined up in the worst possible way. We were arguing in the car, I was driving, and we were already late to an event. By the time I parked, I could feel the panic starting. I was trying to stay focused and push through it, but while I was sitting there trying to calm myself down, my girlfriend, who was already pissed off with me, got out of the car and left me to go to the event.

The second she left, I completely lost it.

She realized something was wrong once she got to the venue and came back for me, but by that point I was already in a full panic attack. And honestly, whatever she was saying in that moment just made it worse. I couldn’t shake the feeling that she was ashamed of me, or angry at me, or disgusted by what she was seeing.

That made the panic spiral even harder, and it turned into one of the worst attacks I’ve ever had.

She ended up taking me home and dropping me off. I slept for a while, and when I woke up we talked about it. She told me nothing has changed and that we’re okay.

But I can’t stop worrying that her view of me changed anyway.

She saw me crying uncontrollably like a terrified kid. She heard me saying things like “you sound mean” because her tone felt harsh, and “you’re not giving me patience.” I had absolutely no filter in that moment and just said everything I was feeling.

Even though she says we’re fine, I can’t stop feeling embarrassed and wondering if she sees me differently now.

Has anyone else ever had something like this happen with a partner? And if so, did that fear ever go away?

Okay, so my husband is going through psychosis. Things have been rocky for a while, arguing and stuff and I kind of thought maybe he was going through it because he was being irrational and not making sense and I just couldn’t get through to him. Anyways, he opened up and said he had 3 episodes this past week. Which I’m assuming were like, bad episodes.

I just need some help understanding him. Because this past week has been torture for me trying to just be okay around him.

I don’t feel like he’s back to normal. I don’t feel like it was just 3 episodes. And I can’t talk to him very well. He kind of scares me.

How do I deal with him? How do I make sure things are okay until he’s better? Will he get better?

I just need help navigating this.

Hi, I have been feeling down since I was 12 years old but I never found out if I'm actually depressed or not since I like to ignore my feelings because I don't like to feel it, I like to ignore how I feel because when I do, it genuinely hurts my chest and I start feeling like I can't do anything anymore and I just sleep all day...it's been like this ever since. When I was 12, my parents told me the truth about my family and it affected me so much but I had to show them that I didn't care because I had to continue going on as this stronger older sister and I had to be an example to my younger sister. Fast forward to my age right now, I currently have a significant other, and I don't know what's wrong with me because sometimes, I REALLY REALLY like them but there are some times when I would remember things they've done to me before and it would affect how I view them, is it my trauma? I don't feel seen or wanted by them and that's all I've been asking for for the last 4 years we have been dating. Anyways...I would get episodes where I just sleep all day, eat nothing, and just be really really sad and then there would be days when it's gone...but this cycle has been going on since forever :( I don't know what to do since I also can't get a therapist, I can't let my parents know.

**I apologize if you find my story a little messy since I am just typing this without thinking of editing it because I want to let my really feelings out. I have no one to talk to and this is my last resort :(

M34) look younger like 28 ish

6ft lanky long slim

Virgin (resigned to never having it years ago even tho once or twice 10-15 years ago I didn’t take the opportunity)

Long slim body with slight pudgy belly with stick thin arms I’d get so roasted for should I wear a shirt (I never do I’m always layered up under a hoodie)

Bones for shoulders

Black hair receding hairline messy type

Puffy face with red nose when I use to be slim and light and looked well it if I still did I’d go out again

Now with the face changes I never go out at all

My tall lanky build makes me feel I’m very ugly

Smoke weed by day and drink scotch by night

Hello friends!

I have an incredible talent for intellectual pursuits, but I'm a man, and being overly emotional makes me a no-go when it comes to masculine things like organizing things, being a point of reference, getting my bearings, always having the solution.

I'd like to work on these qualities, and so I'd like to explore hobbies and activities I can do and join men's groups where I can grow in these respects.

I already have my intellectual pursuits, such as piano, drawing, board games, and book clubs, but I absolutely need people who can guide me toward the real and sincere qualities that a man should have.

What do you think of ways to work on this?

I know guys who…

- go to Uni/work (from Monday to Friday)

- also work on the weekend

- go to the gym 2-3 times a week

- are at every function (marriage, partys, etc.)

- never look tired, are always highly energetic

How are these dudes able to do all this? I really dont get it. I tried to copy them and couldnt last long enough, its so freaking brutal.

Also: 90% of the dudes who are single. So no gf and no intimacy.

​

I’ve been trying to find work for a long time. I know digital marketing/SEO/content, I’ve applied, messaged people, tried freelancing… but nothing is working. Not even small work. It feels like no one wants to give me a chance.

I also have EMI and money pressure, and it’s getting too much. Every day is stress and disappointment. I’m tired.

People say “stay positive” but honestly it’s not helping. Nothing is changing.

I’m not okay mentally. I’m getting really dark thoughts and sometimes I feel like I don’t want to live anymore.

I’m not writing this for attention. I just feel stuck.

If anyone has any real advice to get even small paid work fast, please tell me. Or if you’ve been in this situation, how did you handle it?

Please be kind.🙏

My marriage is not in a good place and it is putting a lot of strain on both of us. I am in therapy but it only feels like just enough. I try to look for advice, support and discussion online but it ends up making me feel worse. Advice doesn't seem to value the male perspective.

I tend to find advice falls into 3 major categories: written for women, male focussed but written to manipulate men (manoshpere type stuff or using gender as a sales pitch) and "have you considered jesus". I'm not religious and I feel like all three tend to focus on what is wrong with men in general (especially the male focussed stuff). The general advice also doesn't line up with my experience.

I'm not trying to avoid my own accountability. However, when I'm getting lashed out at I don't want to end up feeling like I should take on more and more blame. I already tend to do that without bad advice, hence the feeling worse. I could just stop looking for advice, but I feel like I need some.

Anyone got good resources?

Hello r/malementalhealth,
First of all, I would like to clarify that I'd like to remain anonymous, hence why I am using a burner account and email address. I am a 16 year old from Eastern Europe.
Since 1-2 years I've been stuck in a cycle, which goes as follows:
- I do one bad thing (let's say masturbation). Because I've done that my whole day is ruined so I decide to eat unhealthy amounts of chocolate and doom scroll (for example). After I'm done with that, I take a shower and suddenly get a rush of motivation: I clean up and I start living my life as I should.
- Live is good for some time (whether it's going to be a day, a week, two days)
- The cycle repeats.

For the past few days I have been able to mostly get rid of my phone addiction in the weirdest way possible (my motivation for not going on my phone is to get a better battery life, which I will not explain since we'd have to get into technical details), but weirdly enough it has worked for me.

My other current issue is since I am not using my phone, when I am home I use my laptop excessively (mostly Youtube watching and doing random things such as going in the middle of nowhere and looking at the StreetView lol). Besides extensions to limit screen time (which can easily be bypassed during my "bad" days anyways), what are some other methods to solve this issue.

I've also been dealing with a lot of stress related to school (which is a whole another topic), but also with the disappointment I have in my myself for all the broken promises over the last 1-2 years.

What do I do?

I've wanted out since I was 14. The primary reason for that is because I'm considered a subhuman demon by most people. I knew that even as a kid but at 14, I realized i wasnt going to be cured by praying. I am a male. I'm not trans. But that never mattered to most other guys. To them, I was basically a girl but really not even human. Even though i wasn't even fem and was into typical "guys things" that didn't help. So i went through high school with no friends or social interaction at all. And that experience made me fucking bitter.

I was always told the bs lies that it would get better as an adult. Bullshit. People don't fucking change and I learned that early on. So i spent the past fucking 16 years alone. Never a friend. Never a party. Never a hangout. Never a fucking relationship. I created a system for myself to give myself something to look forward to every week and that was drinking. It's pathetic but it worked. During the week, I'd fill myself up with food to make myself happy and every weekend I'd drink and drink. That's literally all I have lol. The irony is it's starting to kill me me now as I'm 350lbs and my liver numbers are getting bad. But I'm not going to stop or change because this is all I've got. Food and booze are my only friends. They kept me around for awhile at least I guess.

Part of me is bitter and angry because I didn't really get to live life. I feel robbed because I had to be stuck being this thing that I didn't want to be and that most people see as subhuman. I didn't get to play sports, have my teenage relationships, go to prom, be one of the boys and hangout, etc. All I had were games, food and alcohol.

But the other part of me is tired and over it and I do feel some sense of relief. I can't go on like this much longer. Every day I wake up my first thoughts are how I'm nothing more than a "subhuman, degenerate, satanic, perverted, sodomite". It has to come to an end.

20M and I have an accounting scholarship but I really don't give a fuck about it anymore I wanna kill myself with benzos because I have a health condition that prevents me from getting a driving license, which has ruined my independence and makes me less than everyone around me because they all have one or just screw it and I will drive either way

And people say the government is doing its job by not giving everyone a license. Yes I agree with that, but fuck you if you say they are doing their job. They literally do it in only one aspect. I don’t know about your country, but I’m from Oman, they literally said “fuck off” to the people who don't drive

There are no walkable cities, Uber and taxi apps are expensive for daily use, and I swear there are a lot of creepy dudes on these apps. They also don’t reach everywhere.

There’s no public transport, and Oman’s weather is extremely hot, so using a motorcycle or e bike will only make you reach work or university smelling like absolute shit

And I don’t need to explain how it feels not having a license while everyone else does. Plus moving to another country seems more like isolation than a solution, and it would only fix one issue while causing more issues. It’s not all pink and rainbows. I should just end myself I hate being less than everyone in my country

Hi, I'm 17 years old and I'm looking for advice because loneliness is starting to weigh heavily on my life.I've never had any real friends, I've never been invited anywhere, it was always me who had to impose myself because otherwise I ended up alone. This year in high school I was bullied, but this time it really affected me. I went around talking to everyone, I wasn't introverted, but it was always the same thing: I asked questions and no one ever asked me any questions in return. One day they took me aside and asked me if I was gay (I'm not). They told me I had certain mannerisms, which is strange because no one had ever said that to me before and I never noticed it. But are they the problem or is it just me who's incapable of noticing that I seem gay (I'm not homophobic),I would approach everyone, but no one ever came to me. When I started a conversation, it always went in the same direction: me asking the questions, and no one ever asked me any. Then I was doing a work-study program, and it was awful. I was put down all day long; I felt like dirt. Afterwards, I got kicked out (thankfully). But it deeply affected me. The things people in my class said... I keep wondering if everyone thinks that way about me, and it terrifies me. I'm afraid my father will think I'm gay (I'm not homophobic, but I'm not gay, so being called gay when I'm not, I don't think that's very nice). It torments me immensely. What's even worse is that I have no passions. There are things I like to do, but nothing really excites me. I feel like I don't feel anything anymore, not love, joy, anything positive. Even when I self-harm, I don't feel anything. I'm going to be going into... I'm in high school, studying for a job that has nothing to do with me, but honestly, I'm about to quit everything because I'm scared. I don't want to be judged anymore; I see contempt in everyone's eyes. On top of that, I can't even look at myself in my phone's camera. I haven't made any friends. I'd like to go out with a girl, but honestly, I don't even believe it's possible anymore. I don't feel like I deserve to be loved. I go out for walks every day; I don't stay home all day. I go to bed and get up early. Even though, for the first time, I'm not feeling well physically right now, I'm sleeping very poorly, and above all, I'm losing a lot of weight. I weighed 75 kilos a year or two ago, and I'm losing it all. Now I'm down to 59, and it just keeps going down. I'd like some advice on what to do, whether I'm doomed or not, because I don't see a future for myself. And I'm slowly starting to think about something that would solve everything, even though I know that It would hurt my family

Sorry if it's poorly written, I'm tired and English isn't my first language.

I think it was yesterday I think I was at the wedding talking with sister told her about how I got into fitness and started skincare and she goes "Women don't care about Looks" and it was annoying as hell, sure I am doing it for myself and my improvement, but literally all her exes not only look similar but have same builds tall fit norwood-2 hairstyle, I kinda made sarcastic comment about it and she was like sure I like tall fit guys but personality matters more I would date a short charismatic guy with a great personality over any tall guy maybe idk but as a guy I want my partner to feel that she is physically attracted to me, I don't like way this was phrased like isn't it just better a guy who is attractive to you with a okayish personality that can change, why date someone who isn't physically attractive to you to begin with ?

I'm struggling with a deep sense of "brokenness" that I can’t seem to outrun, despite my life looking great from the outside.

As a teenager, I was bullied /teased and mostly socially isolated. I retreated into a very dark, private world where I found a strange kind of pleasure in self-degradation. I’d spend time in my bathroom wallowing in my own shame and finding pleasure in it – pissing on myself on purpose and I'd also cam gay older men and subject myself to things that felt "abject," even though I was straight in my "real" life. It was like I eroticized the fact that I was an outcast because it was the only way to feel alive.

Now, at 26, I’ve "made it" by most standards. I moved to a major city, I have a stable career with a six-figure salary, I’m fit, I feel like I'm decent looking, and I’ve been putting myself out there—taking acting classes and trying to be social.

Even though I’m doing the work, I feel incredibly alone. I have terrible self-esteem and a crushing sensitivity to rejection. Whenever a social or romantic interaction goes slightly sideways, I immediately spiral back to that feeling that I am unworthy and I will never be chosen or loved.

I feel like I’m wearing a costume of a successful man, but underneath, I’m still that "unchosen" person who doesn't deserve love or connection. I’ve reached a point where I’m tired of the "pity being my pleasure," but I don't know how to bridge the gap between my successful adult self and the shameful kid I used to be.

Any advice?