Hey guys how do I know if I'm depressed? F-19
Hi, I have been feeling down since I was 12 years old but I never found out if I'm actually depressed or not since I like to ignore my feelings because I don't like to feel it, I like to ignore how I feel because when I do, it genuinely hurts my chest and I start feeling like I can't do anything anymore and I just sleep all day...it's been like this ever since. When I was 12, my parents told me the truth about my family and it affected me so much but I had to show them that I didn't care because I had to continue going on as this stronger older sister and I had to be an example to my younger sister. Fast forward to my age right now, I currently have a significant other, and I don't know what's wrong with me because sometimes, I REALLY REALLY like them but there are some times when I would remember things they've done to me before and it would affect how I view them, is it my trauma? I don't feel seen or wanted by them and that's all I've been asking for for the last 4 years we have been dating. Anyways...I would get episodes where I just sleep all day, eat nothing, and just be really really sad and then there would be days when it's gone...but this cycle has been going on since forever :( I don't know what to do since I also can't get a therapist, I can't let my parents know.
**I apologize if you find my story a little messy since I am just typing this without thinking of editing it because I want to let my really feelings out. I have no one to talk to and this is my last resort :(