r/getdisciplined

I find myself always having a conflict between internal expectations and what my actions are. I want to progressively turn into someone who is respected and doesn't do bs all the time. Yet, when I go to school, I turn towards my social nature and start acting like a goofy dick who no one takes seriously.

I become too social, rowdy at times, and just someone who gives too many fucks about others and what they think. I chase social approval asf, and I've become super far from what I want to be. I accept that change should come from within and from my mindset, but I'm not able to totally ingrain this into my mind, and once I start my goofy sh again, I fall into the loop.

The thing is, this has been bothering me for a while because I know I want more for myself. I want to be someone disciplined, respected, and taken seriously, but my actions don't really line up with that. It's like I know the type of person I want to become, but when I'm actually around people, especially at school, I switch up and become this overly social, attention-seeking version of myself. Then when school's done, I regret it and think, “why did I act like that again?”

I also started to read Mark Manson's Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k, and I find the stories quite amusing. While his points are valid, my nature prefers being a social goofball and acting like a clown or something to get attention. It may seem like I'm not trying, but I'm honestly really confused and regret being too social once school's done.

Part of me wonders if I'm trying too hard to get validation or if I've just built habits that are hard to break. I don't want to completely kill my personality or become some emotionless robot either, but I do want to stop acting in ways I regret and actually become more aligned with who I want to be.

I'm not sure how to change this. Any tips? Thanks.

I’ve noticed a repeating cycle with myself over the past few years.

I get motivated to organize my life better, download a bunch of productivity apps, create routines, set goals, organize everything perfectly… and for a little while it feels great.

But eventually the system itself becomes tiring to maintain.

Too many dashboards.
Too many categories.
Too many notifications.
Too many apps trying to become an entire operating system for life.

At some point I realized I was spending more energy managing productivity than actually doing things.

Recently I started simplifying everything instead:
fewer tools, fewer systems, fewer things demanding attention all day.

Ironically, I think I’ve become more consistent because of it.

Now I’m curious how other people here approach this.

Do you prefer:

• highly customizable systems
• or simpler setups that are easier to stick with long term?

And what usually makes you abandon productivity apps after the initial excitement wears off?

I'll start by saying that i'm well aware that an enjoyable life has breaks and moments of fun between the work and effort, but i've gotten to the point where i need to change things.

For my whole life i've enjoyed playing video games, and i never really needed to manage them alongside my other priorities, because those priorities either weren't very hard/time consuming (chores, cooking, etc) or were required from me, and i just put up with them (school, work). However, i'm now in my 2nd year of uni, going into my 3rd, and i've realized i need to change things. My grades have been fine, but i have procrastinated every single assignment, reading, and studying that i possibly have been able to. I mainly do so by playing games on my computer with my friends, though i'll doomscroll sometimes, as many tend to do. I have come to realize i have a very unhealthy relationship with my technology, and i need to do something to get myself off of it when there are things that need to be done, and to do other, more self-fulfilling things when there arent. I know that if i set some kind of daily time limit i'll probably just start turning it off eventually, and so i need some kind of solution that's more drastic.

Since i am a student, however, i do NEED my technology, since ~90% of my assigned work is completed online. But, i'm more than willing to try any kind of solution that isn't tied to my computer, i just really want to make some kind of change. Thank you all.

Title: Atomic Habits Nearly Killed Me

Not literally, but whew… 300+ pages.

Before anyone comes for me, I actually respect Atomic Habits and can see why so many people swear by it. James Clear clearly knows his stuff and there are some genuinely powerful ideas in there.

But I’ll be honest… I spent so much time trying to absorb everything, implement everything, and feeling bad about not implementing everything that the whole process started feeling like homework.

Maybe this is just a me problem, but sometimes productivity books accidentally create a second job: managing the productivity system.

I realized I don’t always need another framework, tracker, identity layer, or habit matrix. Sometimes I just need something that cuts through the noise and gets me moving.

Recently I read Get Sh*t Done by Knute Steel and it kind of surprised me. A lot of the same core ideas showed up, but compressed into something I could get through in under an hour. Totally different tone too — less professor, more brutally honest friend who knows your brain is trying to sabotage you.

Honestly laughed my ass off through parts of it.

What’s interesting is both books are still digesting in my head, but I keep going back to GSD because it felt lighter and easier to actually apply instead of study.

Now I’m curious if I’m alone here.

Anybody else hit a point where productivity books become so dense or system-heavy that you stop doing the actual thing?

Would love recommendations for books that hit similar themes — habits, focus, discipline, getting unstuck — but are a little less demanding or more immediately actionable.

Just finished reading Jordan Mechner's 1985–1989 journals. He made the original Prince of Persia at 21, solo, on an Apple II.

Near the end he does the math: 3,800 hours over four years. About two years of honest work, spread across four calendar years.

The other two years were a screenwriting detour, an NYU film school rejection, weeks of staring at the code without touching it. For most of late 1987 he didn't open the game at all.

What got him back to it was one sentence over lunch. A colleague named Tomi Pierce told him: "Think of the game as an old car you're fixing up in your spare time." That was the pivot of the entire production.

I think we romanticize people who grind on one thing for years. The reality is messier. Most long projects have a dormant year in the middle, and the people who recover are the ones who happen to have a Tomi Pierce around to tell them, kindly, to pick up the wrench.

If you're in your dormant year on something right now -- you're not behind. You're in the middle.

I wrote some longer notes after the book if anyone wants more - you can find it in the first comment. Honestly it gave me a real boost of energy and I think it might help someone else feeling stuck.

In 2025, I experienced depression, repeated burn out, mood swing, insomnia. So I decided to make 2026 a year focused on becoming happier and more stable.

Now I paused depression medication, stabilized circadian rhythm, and perform cognitive heavy tasks consistently without burning out. A lot of small wins lead to this transformation, and I want to celebrate all the small wins by sharing my experience.

To achieve this, I re-engineered my life in 3 aspects: Sleep, Environment, Work.

I shared about Sleep in my previous post with title "[Method] How I consistently get up at 5:30 am as someone suffered from insomnia in the past 10+ years". Now it is time to share how I chose the environment and why it works for me.

The context

I have been living in 4 different countries over the last 8 years. Constant moving has been taxing my mental health and disrupting productivity. In 2025 alone, I moved 4 times across 3 countries. I also lived with parents for 2 months, I love them, they love me, but we had a lot of conflicts. Therefore I decided to settle down in 2026, in an environment that works for me.

I searched for several places and ended up settle down in a coast city in Kanagawa, Japan. Rented a hotel room for 1 year.

The new environment

Turns out it works perfectly for the following reasons:

• Minimal decisions to make. No need to decide what to wear (limited options), what for breakfast (offered by hotel). So I can start my day with minimal cognitive friction, and use the saved mental energy on the important decisions. Although those decisions sounds easy, they tax the prefrontal cortex nonetheless. And that is why you see people wear the same outfit everyday.
• Approximate to the Pacific Ocean. I find ocean brings me peace, and it only takes 15 mins for me to walk to the beach. And knowing the accessibility to my favorite environment is relieving. 
• Variable environment. I can work at lobby when I want to be surrounded by people, or at my room when I want to be alone.
• Low-effort maintenance. My room gets cleaned every 3 days. No cooking. All I do is laundry.
• 2-meal a day, and I only eat 1 meal after breakfast. To further reduce decision-making, I set a schedule of where to eat on each day.

Overall, this lifestyle significantly reduced cognitive friction and preserved more cognitive resources for work, reflection, providing the foundation for me to strengthening my neurological stability and improve long term well-being. And as a result, I have finished more work in the last 3 months than the last whole year.

This is not the money-saving lifestyle, but also not too expensive. I am spending less than $2500 a month, thanks to the affordable price in Japan. And considering the productivity boost and happier mood, it is a really good deal for me.

In another subreddit, I saw a comment saying that we can only grow by stepping out of our comfort zone, and I’m well aware of that. The problem is that in certain social situations, my anxiety spikes, and I get terrified of failing.

Currently, I’m looking for a job, and it’s becoming a huge problem. I know it might sound stupid, but I can’t bring myself to send out resumes. I just don’t feel capable, I’m completely unmotivated, and I can't do it because I feel like I'm not good enough and that I’ve failed in every possible aspect. How can I step out of my comfort zone, start being more proactive, and stop being so afraid of judgment and failure?

Right now, I’m even losing motivation to do the things I used to enjoy. I feel like I’m not even good at those anymore. My current routine is just waking up, getting on the PC, and doing absolutely nothing else. I want to break out of this, but I feel trapped, lazy, and completely drained. I spend the entire day overthinking my life, but nights are the worst everything just feels like shit because I view myself as incompetent, and I just sit there contemplating my entire existence.

I genuinely don’t know what to do. I just finished my bachelor's degree, and now I’m just stuck here. All my friends are moving forward, doing something with their lives and I feel like a total failure because I can't seem to move on.

The truth is, I don't really know what I want for my future. I want to work, earn money, and have my own life, but what do I actually want to do? I don't fucking know. And even if I do get hired somewhere, I'm socially awkward people won't like me. Plus, I look way younger than I am, so I feel like I'm going to be judged for that too. I'm just so sick and tired of everything. I'm afraid of fk growing up I'm not ready but I now I need to.

Having a bad academic year motivated me to discipline myself more and begin building healthy habits. However I don't feel like my progress is as fast or as meaningful than it is. I've always tried to self improve but I often got stuck in a cycle where I went all out burned out and stopped. This created a mentality where I think I'm destined to fail and to not progress. Recently though I've downloaded a calendar app and Microsoft to do to show my daily victories instead of giving up and escaping through bad habits. I just think that since I get anxious by thinking I have to solve it all in one day or if I'm doing good enough or not putting in the effort, time, that I'm creating an unstable, unpredictive environment. So lately I've been very dedicated on myself and have focused on disciplines like re learning algebra to prepare for pre-calculus and hobbies like journaling, guitar, exercise. They are good meaningful ways of improving on myself but since I can't overload myself with many tasks I miss out on important things like cleaning my room, house, maintaining an organized room, self care. And I try to do them every day but mostly micro dose them ( 5-30 minutes) depending on how I feel. I think it is working, given that I started this recently and the first thing I'm not doing when I wake up is doom scrolling, but too slow or due to my past I don't trust myself so I stress on being productive and avoid relaxing like playing a video game or exercising, watching a movie, show, reading manga. I have a very hard time explaining myself but this is the best way I can and I can currently describe. I don't have to explain it all in one post. I feel like I don't deserve summer vacation to improve and getting over myself without a difficult school structure is less valuable. So I constantly try to be productive or do lots of things for short periods to deserve a break. So working up to things feels wrong, especially when those close to me do more

I kept failing at goals for years. Not spectacularly — I just kept quitting.

Ate healthy. Worked out. Hit my marks some weeks — then stopped. Repeat cycle. I'd feel good for 3-4 weeks, then something would come up, and I'd fall off, and I'd never quite get back on.

5 years of this.

I did everything you're supposed to do. Habit trackers. Accountability partners. Apps. Reading books about habits. Made it 3 weeks on the apps, then forgot to check in, then stopped opening them entirely. The accountability partner stopped texting back after week 2. No one's fault — people have their own lives.

What changed: I put real money on the line. Not a badge. Not a streak on an app. Actual cash — and I lose it if I don't follow through.

The mechanic: you set a goal, stake an amount you're comfortable losing, pick a friend as your witness, and if you don't hit your mark, they know, and the money goes. That's it.

The trick isn't the money. The trick is the accountability with someone who actually wants you to succeed — friends who notice when you go quiet. The stakes make the check-in feel normal instead of awkward. "Hey, how'd it go?" from a friend hits different when there's something real behind it.

And the data backs it up: people with accountability partners are 5x more likely to succeed at goals than going solo. That's not from the app — that's from behavioral research on commitment devices and loss aversion.

What I learned: willpower isn't the problem. The problem is that going solo gives you too many exits. "I'll start again Monday." "I've had a rough week." "It's fine." The stake closes those exits — not because you're afraid to lose the money, but because you're not willing to let your friend watch you quit.

Curious if anyone else has found commitment devices that actually stick past week 3. Most of the popular stuff — habit trackers, apps, accountability partners who aren't financially tied — fades by month one. What worked for you?

I'm in highschool. I used to be a straight A, occasional B student, without even studying much.

I know that when I actually put the effort in, I can pass tests easily, but I just can't get myself to care. I've just do the bare minimum id anything at all, and I don't turn in homework/assignments anymore. The only time I actually do work is in group projects, because I don't want to be a burden to the other in the project. As long as I get to graduate I'm content.

People asks me all the time how I don't care that I fail, but I honestly don't know. I don't have a goal for the future, I don't even know if I want to go to college at this point. No job or career seems interesting. Before anyone starts talking about how difficult living in poverty is, I already know, my family has struggled financially my whole life and I've even helped my parents with money.

It might be good to mention that I've been diagnosed with depression for the last year or so, but I want to get better, it just seems impossible.

Does anyone have any tips? Or stories of their own that might make me motivated/realize how important this is.

Sorry if anything in this post is vague, feel free to ask me to clarify something

Cold plunges lasted three weeks. Journaling lasted four entries and the notebook is still on my desk currently functioning as a coaster. Meditation apps I completed the beginner course on two different ones and never opened either again. Five AM alarms set every night dismissed every morning while basically unconscious felt like garbage about it until noon.

I read Atomic Habits twice. Twice. I could teach that book. Still couldn’t stick to anything for longer than a few weeks.

At some point I genuinely started wondering if I was just one of those people who talks about changing and never actually does. Like maybe discipline is a personality trait you either have or you don’t and I just don’t.

Then I made a stupid bet with my roommate. Every time I skipped my morning alarm I venmo him $20. His idea. I thought it was kind of dumb.

That was seven weeks ago. I’ve missed once.

I keep trying to figure out why this worked when nothing else did. The honest answer is kind of annoying because it has nothing to do with mindset or habit stacking or identity based whatever.

Every single thing I tried before had no cost attached to failing. Skip the cold plunge nothing happens. Stop journaling nobody knows. Dismiss the alarm the day just starts a little worse. There was never a version of events where quitting had a consequence.

The second quitting cost something even something small and kind of embarrassing the whole dynamic changed. Not because I magically got more disciplined. Because the math was different.

I think the self improvement space spends a lot of time selling systems and routines and mindsets when a lot of people’s actual problem is simpler. Quitting is free. Make quitting cost something and see what happens.

Anyway. Curious if anyone else stumbled onto something equally dumb that actually worked after all the normal stuff failed.

(I originally tried posting this to r/ productivity, but got turned away for low Karma score, but I really want some advice on this)
TL;DR:
I currently feel a lack of proper systems to look back at weekly reviews or revisit notes properly and would love to have suggestions or insights from people whose systems to do so have worked. That goes for physical and digital or a combination that's worked for Journaling or reviewing. I use an Agenda for the Day to Day, GCal for scheduling, Obsidian for clarifying ideas and physical notetaking as well as a notebook for weekly reviews. I've also felt the need of a more malleable way than paper to break down personal projects into more manageable chunks and big to do lists, but would love to avoid too much clutter, so I'd appreciate suggestions for simple tools that have worked for you guys.

As the title says, I've recently gone through trying to redefine how I approach my work due to the lack of structure I've had post-university graduation from Art School. I know that I work much better when there's a structure, be it in the form of time blocking, simply writing down tasks, etc., mostly stuff I learnt from Ali Abdaal's content. Naturally, I've fallen into the trap of looking for the "right" tool. I've used Bullet Journalling, but ironically for an artist, didn't like that it was just turning into how pretty I could make it lookto eventually devolve into an agenda (hence why I use a Hobonichi agenda now). At that same time I combined the physical bujo with a digital Notion task manager, but eventually realized I was managing the system more than I was actually doing stuff, so I stopped using it for myself (instead applying it to team work settings only). I did keep on using it for my Weekly Reviews, but after missing one too many I realized that I really rarely looked back at it and that digital just felt like it got lost in my notes, therefore I switched to doing them physically (just still not super consistent on it). I tried using Tick Tick, Todoist, etc. and while they're wonderful apps, I hated that the good stuff was behind a paywall for the most part, so I forewent digital stuff for a while (except for GCal).

That brings me to my first set of questions:

What do you evaluate in a Weekly Review without overspending time? What system have you found works to look back at them consistently? Bonus question: What do you do with your journals if you use one?

Now onto the second part of the question.
After graduation, I've mostly used pen and paper and found myself being more productive due to the simplicity it provided. However, I started to notice that my vision narrowed and that my long term planning was almost nonexistent since just jotting down stuff kept me in the short term. Of course, I made a big task list in the free pages my agenda has, but eventually I stopped looking back at it, and if I needed to reorganize it or change stuff, I'd need to rewrite it (reading that back I feel like that's the point) which is why I've started to use certain digital tools to help such as an Open Source task manager called Mindwtr (stopped using it for clunky UI) and Structured Web (most helpful so far) to allow me to have a digital backlog of sorts. In addition to that, I use Obsidian for digital note taking or developing project ideas (world building, narrowing down character design briefs from my physical notes) and have loved its simplicity for what I need it to do. That said, even then my notes are a bit of a jumble. I capture stuff physically, but don't have much of a system for them other than to refer to the physical ones when I need to (for my Japanese Classes, Art Mentorship recordings, etc.), so I'd also love some simple suggestions to approach that too.

With all that said, you might have spotted that even as it stands, it's a bit cluttered, what with physical notes, Obsidian, Structured, an Agenda, sometimes Mindwtr.
Could you guys give me suggestions for simpler solutions that I may have missed?

I feel like if I don't consult with someone I might go into a loop of thinking or look too much for the perfect app. All I need is a malleable big to-do list to manage bigger projects or separate into smaller chunks, scheduling and daily tasks. The agenda and physical notetaking has felt best so far. The overarching problem has been consistency, so I'd love to hear what has worked to built consistency to your day to day too.

I’ve been working on an app called ScrollBank because I realized normal screen time limits don’t really work for me.

The idea is simple:

• you choose the distracting apps you want to control
• you get a daily screen time budget
• when that budget is gone, the app locks those apps
• if you want more time, you do push-ups and earn minutes back

So instead of just feeling guilty about doomscrolling, you actually have to work for it.

I’m trying to make it feel more like a discipline tool than a generic productivity app.

I’d genuinely love feedback from people into fitness / self-improvement:

• Does this concept sound motivating or annoying?
• Would you use something like this for TikTok / Instagram / Shorts?
• What would make it actually fun enough to keep using?

I’m not here to spam — I’m really trying to understand whether this is a stupid idea or something people would actually want.

I know that everyone talks about dreams, goals, and setting a plan is crucial, essentials part for the next step: actions.
I usually do not have a plan, I just react to what happens when chasing my goal without a plan.
I feel burdened whenever making a plan, and even when I make a plan, I cannot follow it.
When something doesn't go along with the plan, I consider the plan is shit, then throw it away. Then the burden of adjusting the plan or making a new plan to follow with the new situation bothers me and makes me procrastinate. Then, without a new plan, I do not know what I should do next. And the loophole of procrastination and being lazy consumes me.
It happens many times whenever I want to change, is my brain fucked or is there something wrong with me. How can I surpass the feeling and follow the plan? Please

So.. I’ll be turning 15 in 5 days, and for the last 3 years I’ve been comparing myself to other talented girls online hard. Some days I don’t care, but when I do, it hits me so heavily that it genuinely hurts.

I’ve been playing acoustic guitar for almost 3 years, ukulele for about a year, and I’ve been singing ever since I can remember. I also started taking piano lessons a few months ago (I can play Minuet in G now hehe), and I write my own songs too! both in Tagalog and English.

Whenever I get the chance, I perform my original songs live in front of people. Sometimes during music recitals (I also take voice lessons), or through gigs from a director who discovered me.

The thing is, I haven’t really posted my original songs online yet besides a little lullaby I wrote one night and a small ukulele cover.

I don’t expect to blow up or anything like that. I just wish I had an audience outside of family members or acquaintances. I’m grateful that I get opportunities to perform live because it helps with my stage fright, but online I feel completely invisible.

And that’s where the self-comparison starts.

On YouTube, there are so many young singer-songwriters around my age posting simple bedroom recordings that get hundreds of views and comments. I know this might sound attention-seeking, but it’s honestly not even about the numbers. It’s more the feeling that nobody’s really there. Not a single person has commented on my two singing videos yet.

I know my YouTube account is still very new, but I still catch myself comparing myself to these girls, and I hate doing that because it’s not their fault at all. I already know the usual advice.. "focus on your own growth, don’t compare journeys" and all that. Maybe I’ve just been way too online lately, because last night I read my favorite novel before bed instead of scrolling, and it genuinely calmed me down.

I hate feeling like I have this ego, or like music is some kind of race. Sometimes I wish I started guitar at 6 or 8 years old, but we just didn’t have the money back then. Or I wish I had taken singing seriously at 4 years old.

I don’t know if I’ll ever find my audience online. I don’t even know if there’s an audience meant for me out there.

To sum it all up, I feel inadequate sometimes. I feel like there are girls online who are far more talented than me. And yes, people say to “do it for the love of music itself,” but the reason I love music so much is because it helps me connect with people.

People I haven’t found yet.

And I think that’s what’s been eating at me for the past 3 years.

This is the first time I shared this kind of thought outside my mind.

(Sorry for the long post 😭)

I work a computer job and often have 'micro-down times'. Like 3 minutes here, 5 minutes there. My mouse was just automatically opening LinkedIn, scrolling, then closing, without me even being that conscious of it. My daughter actually told me I'm addicted to LinkedIn, then I realised I had a problem.

I felt like I did some amount of willpower (I don't have any other social media), but I just needed friction in between my impulses. I've used apps like Opal before but they got in the way more often and I ended up uninstalling them.

So anyways, I built a browser-extension with a couple of key features which I thought would help me. Specifically, you can nominate a website to redirect to. So, whenever you open a tab on auto-pilot, it would redirect me to somewhere more productive. It also has a 7-second timer to turn it off, which I found more flexible than Opal (like sometimes you just have to open a site).

Anyways, I've been using it for a month and have attached my data (edit: no links allowed).

Before: averaging around 6–7 opens a day, peaking at 14.
After: most days are 0–3, with plenty of complete zero days.

I still have some bad days, but I've found myself a lot more focused at work and seem to have broken the "auto-pilot" habit. Lastly, because the blocker has a little mascot, I felt bad about turning him off, so wanted to just keep it on and keep him happy lol. I should note Anti-Social is open-source; I'm not looking to monetize it in any way.

Hi everyone

Ever since I was little, I have loved to read books and used to read a minimum of 2 books a week. When I was roughly 14 y/o, I was really depressed and stopped doing almost everything I used to like doing. Ever since I turned 18 y/o last year, I’ve been trying to get into reading again, but there’s one issue, I can’t focus. My mind wanders all the time.

I’ve tried ambient music, white noise, instrumental music, ughhh YOU NAME IT. My mind just tries to focus on and think about other things. I also don’t think my phone is the issue. I never reach for it when I’m doing something unless someone texts or calls me. I only get notifications when my family or best friend text or call (everyone else and every app is on DND)

I can focus when I listen to an audiobook and read at the same time, but I want to be able to focus without an audiobook because most books either don’t have an English audiobook available on Spotify or in my library, or they don’t have one at all.

I also really enjoy the books I’m reading. I love the genre, the story, the plot, etc., but my mind still wanders. Funny enough, when it comes to manga, manhua, manhwa, or fanfiction, my mind doesn’t wander at all, which I think is quite strange.

I also still struggle quite a lot with motivation. I often lack motivation even for stuff I want to do, and I lose motivation quite fast. I’m a procrastinator sadly :(

Do you guys have any tips or recommendations on what I should do to help me focus, stop my mind from wandering, and gain back motivation?

This version uses clear paragraph breaks (empty lines) for proper Reddit formatting:

I genuinely feel like something is wrong with me when it comes to procrastination and discipline, and I want to know if other people have experienced this to the same level.

This isn’t just “I’m lazy sometimes” or “I get distracted occasionally.” It affects almost every area of my life, and it’s been going on for years.

I constantly postpone things for “tomorrow,” even things that are important to me or that I actually want to do. My mindset has basically become “future me will deal with it.” The problem is that future me never does.

A good example: last year I finished a study course. I paid for it and had access to all the recorded lessons afterward,i still have to take the exam for the certification. I told myself I’d go back and properly watch everything later so I could really learn it well.

I watched maybe one video.

That was a year ago.

And the same pattern repeats across almost everything in my life:

studying

hobbies

projects

learning new skills

organizing my life

even small daily tasks

I get motivated for a short period, start planning things, maybe even begin properly, and then I slowly stop. Once I miss one day, it turns into two, then a week, then months. The task starts feeling heavier in my head until I avoid even thinking about it.

What confuses me is that I’m fully aware this is happening while it happens. I know postponing things is harming my future and making my life worse, but I still end up doing it anyway. It feels automatic at this point.

I’ve also noticed that the more important something is, the more likely I am to avoid it. Even when I have free time, I end up doing anything else instead: scrolling, watching random content, gaming, or distracting myself in other ways. Then at night I feel guilty because another day is gone.

The guilt builds up over time as well. After avoiding something for long enough, even restarting it feels overwhelming because I immediately think about how much time I’ve already wasted.

I don’t know if this is extreme procrastination, burnout, anxiety, ADHD, fear of failure, or something else. I just know it’s been going on long enough that it’s starting to feel like it’s controlling my life.

[supprimé]

I don’t know if I’ll post this, but on the off chance that I do, I’m transferring to a four year soon and I’m worried. Mostly about keeping my grades up.

I’m someone who keeps my head down and doesn’t interact much with others, which is fine, it hasn’t cause me any issues. The problem more-so lies in my work ethic—I’m very spotty with turning in assignments, particularly in starting them, which has always been a challenge for me nearing the end of high school when COVID had first started and since then transitioning into college. I dropped out for a year without mentioning it to anyone out of shame both due to anxiety, which I’m now working through, and this block of not being able to simply do my work.

It’s so hard to start assignments sometimes, and readings also feel like something I have to sludge through, and I don’t even get around to those most times. I get around to most assignments last minute, or days afterwards; at worst, I settle for C’s, or fail the class—my grades are good, but never good enough. I try, but I don’t understand how people can just do *it—*it feels like I just can’t get it right no matter what. All those “study tips” and advice never really stick much; I can take notes, but find I can’t understand it in the long run. Logically, I can do well, and I can get most of my work done, but it takes so much effort to simply do so.

It’s a shame because I want to be passionate about my work and I want to enjoy my major, but this struggle has made it difficult and I’m worried I won’t do well in a four year after feeling like I’ve coasted my way through community college. My friends, even if they procrastinate, still manage to space out their work and get it in on time even if it isn’t their best and they still come out well off. It feels like I can’t get myself to do the same. I often wonder why it’s so different when it’s me. If it’s simply a discipline issue, is there anything I can try?