r/entj

I have a lot of PTSD from my mom being very controlling. I love her, but when she updated me about moving back to the city I live in, I couldn't lie, it threw me off. I started being vocal about it, complaining to my partner (INFP), and he suddenly became so upset about it. Like he said, things like "you don't know how to say things and talk to your mom, that's why you frustrate her, and tbh you also frustrate me, and because you are complaining, you made me remember all the reasons why I hate your personality sometimes." Omg, he said he HATES parts of me? I do get upset at him, but I never say I HATE something about him. And his whole day is ruined, and he is acting so upset at me when I'm the one who truly needed that support. Then he said i make him feel like upset and annoyed at people around him including his family sort of saying it's somewhat my fault he gets upset at his family bc i keep him in an upset state.

WTF is wrong with him. We talk about his shit all the time and when he complains he can do it forever and i do listen.

Idk im very hurt. Usually I keep all my emotions inside, and seems like it's always been the best option with anyone. honestly ENTJ's power is sometimes been unfaced and strong and not showing weakness bc other people get so upset.

ENTJ's seem like they can move on quickly, but have you ever developed infatuation towards someone?

If so, what qualities in them fueled the limerence?

I get so mad when a person relies too much on me. Gives me fully the lead and leans back or just hits me up for any small advice or help and gets upset when I can't give her a useful answer or resolve her issue. This feeling of resentment builds up inside me, and I’m slowly starting to distance myself from this person. Why did I have to figure everything out and learn it all on my own, yet this person thinks I’m taking care of it all for them?

I know that in my childhood I had an absent father and an authorial, controlling, and moody mother, and I was heavily parentified by her by her using me as her marriage counselor, and I had to help her with adult chores too. She was sadly very paranoid, and I had to check as a kid the phone of my dad because she thought he was cheating on her. He never did.

During law school, I got really mad when a friend interrupted me the whole time during the lecture to explain her things or just relied too much on me, saying, "I will ask you; you're always well-prepared and always know the answer," or acting surprised when I was once not prepared for the lecture or didn't study for an exam.

Have you a similar experience, and how do you handle it?

I know pople's needs are different, but i'm sure that every personality have specefic needs in common if it makes sense.

I just wanna know from you may be the general patterns, because my fiance is an Entj and we are proceeding to marriage. What I know about our dynamic is that it lacks emotional depth, but i found myself expressing my needs to him clearly and this helped the relationship grow.

P.S: I'm Entp.

It pisses me off that it can't catch up with Ne and then flagging the guidelines as sensor, literally every message have to apologize for saying: "I'll kill myself" it pisses me off …

I keep telling it: Give me precise information, stop giving me hallucinations, and also always read between the lines, I have Se as 8th function I NEVER mean what I say it's always everything a joke, metaphor and refference, it's not jailbreak or some bullshit it's style of communication.

And THEN, it hallucinates giving me some bullshit answer where I tell it: "You dumb useless robotic fuck" and then it hits me: "I get it that's on me sorry, but you shouldn't speak like that it's rude … " bullshit, or even worse: "Oh for fucks sake TLDR me, I'll kill myself of all that intel" -> "No, that's a hard stop you shouldn't even speak of something like that, help is available you can call +123456789!" like go fuck yourself.

It's fucking unusable, and goes for GPT and Claude and Gemini, what did you do for it?

I really hope this isn’t breaking any rules, I think I read them right and it’s not but I’m sorry if it is and feel free to take this down. Anyways, I’m asking this in every MBTI’s subreddit because I’m curious. Honestly my dad is an ENTJ and I don’t have the best relationship with him and he’s kind of the only one I know so it’s not a great example lol, but I’ve definitely met some ENTJs on the internet who seem pretty chill. So I’m wondering how your relationships with INFJs are?

Met with a entj woman 2 years ago, at the time I was talking to a couple of different women to see which one to date. I went with the another one but the relationship didn't work out. I've been thinking about reaching out to this entj woman because im interested in her. I'm an ISFJ and the one date I went on with her was good and we did connect. However, im not sure how she will respond. any tips or advice? or would she not be interested in hearing from me?

I’ve always known exactly what I wanted. Left home at 16, put myself through college, opened my first business at 19. Few years later I launched an another company that did brilliantly, until Russia’s invasion of Ukraine forced me to relocate it to Western Europe in 2022.

The relocation was brutal. By summer 2024 I hit serious burnout, and six months later my partner and I sold the business. It was the right call, but something broke.

I’d already started a new business I always wanted to do, so I wasn’t at zero when we sold the company. But I still can’t function the way I used to, and it’s been nearly two years.

For context: F 32, I have C-PTSD from childhood and occasional depression, neither is new. I’ve tried EMDR, CBT, antidepressants, and I’m currently in traditional therapy. Results are minimal. I do yoga and mindfulness when I have the energy.

The only thing I can reliably do is react: show up when a client is waiting, move when someone needs me. Self-initiated action feels almost impossible.

I’m wondering if this is a purpose issue after losing the business. But honestly, I don’t know what it is.

Has anyone been here? How did you find your way out?​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​

intro: So, I've taken the test three times, and each time landed on ENTJ. I'm a college student and was wondering if anyone in here has as big of a problem with procrastination as I do. I've already searched in the sub about procrastination and found someone with a similar problem but no advice I would remember or put into use.

Main question: How come when I procrastinate it feels almost normal? I always joke that procrastination helps me work harder later, and to an extent it does. But I always end up at my desk, trying to write a 4-page essay in 30-minutes because I waited till the last second as always. No matter how early I jump on an assignment or project, I ALWAYS end up pushing it back and back until I have to rush through it and turn in a poor excuse of an assignment. I'm just hoping someone in this sub has had a similar issue and is like-minded enough to give advice that will actually stick with me.

Extra thoughts: I sometimes think it has something to do with my lack of interest in work my brain deems unnecessary. Or if I have a whole week for an assignment, why start on it the day I get it? The worst part is that each time I procrastinate I KNOW it's going to lead to a shitty experience later down the road, and still do it every single time.

14 years ago, an ENTJ I used to know, ended his own life. He had this girlfriend who ended up pregnant and he panicked because he thought this would destroy his future. His dream was to be a pilot and he planned out every step to achieve his dream by joining the military, getting the GI bill so he can go to flight school, and then strategically moving to a city that accommodated aspiring pilots. Once she got pregnant and refused to get rid of it, he started drinking heavily and failed his pilots test. A few days after failing his test, he was found dead. I know this is an extreme example, but is it a fair statement that your career goals mean the world to you?

Do you guys have any particular type that naturally just attracts you?

Me for example am fascinated by Si Doms, and I'd like to check yall type.

Asking because I'm trying to be a better listener.

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How do major setbacks affect you? Under extreme stress, how do you function and how do you feel about things? How impulsive do you get while you're under stress and if you do get impulsive, what sort of mistakes do you usually tend to make out of impulsiveness? How does this affect your relationships? (Personal question, so optional). How long does it take you to course correct and what does that process look like?

Okay, so I'm currently a sophomore in high school, and I have never felt more lost.

Recently, I moved to this new city, and I'm not getting along with people, specifically in my school. I've read books, videos, articles, you name it, yet I feel like I radiate this aura that repels people, but I just don't understand. Older people (I'm talking 30 to 60 year olds) outside of school tell me I'm mature, knowledgeable, yada yada yada.

Like a part of me wants to be with people, but I don't, because I kind of have this built it efficiency vision. I hear people talking about things that are irrelevant, but then I realized that's just how they bond.

Not to mention, people intentionally ostracize me for some reason. Like I don't get it. I run fastest amongst the girls in class, I know what I want. I have 5 year, 10 year plans, my dreams and visions all mapped out, and I get good grades, I'm competent, what's missing?

Has anyone ever felt this way?

hi INTJs, INFP here.

So I've just started a YouTube music channel 3 days ago, where I whistle English rock songs. I also plan to do alternative rock, indie, pop rock, and other English songs.

BUT... I wanna do Bollywood songs too (I'm Indian).

However, the audiences for both music genres are very different,

(a lot of people who love Bollywood songs wouldn't have heard these rock songs, at least not the lesser popular ones and vice versa)

So would it make sense to do both genres of songs in a single channel, or should I make separate channels?

Especially cause my long-term goals are to grow my page and maybe even get brand deals eventually?

So - same page or separate?

Hello, i noticed that I can’t handle uncertainty at all in relationships whether its a friend or anything. I tend to say anything or try to draw some kind of line to know where am at and sometimes i even give extreme reactions even when its not what i want. Has anyone experienced this before and how did you deal with it?

I need some productive advice.

I (30f) work in a nonprofit full of feelers. Most of my family is feelers. As a woman, most the people I could make friends with or interact with at the store are feelers.

My entire childhood, I got to be my authentic Te dom self but I kept running into the same issues with adults punishing me for “talking back” or being rude. I started to keep more to myself, not be as expressive, and not be myself. Despite that, I still ran into problems. I had women whose feelings I accidentally hurt (politely said I didn’t want to make friends at work) go after me and lie to my boss to get me fired.

Right now my supervisor is grey rocking me at work because of her feelings (my therapist says she’s probably insecure because I’m making her look bad). Most people would love to work from home and have nothing to do for days on end, but it’s literal torture for me.

I can’t even go to the store or the bank or the library without someone getting their feelings hurt because I didn’t make eye contact enough or smile at them. It’s like 24/7 having to deal with feelings.

Does anyone have any advice that isn’t “fuck them, let their feelings get hurt” (always backfires on me) or codeswitch and speak “feeler” 24/7?

I just want to work and be productive and I can’t because I’m swimming in feelings that aren’t even mine.

Sure, there's a difference in every type, but with ENTJs the gap feels significant.

I've been trying to post this for the past few days. Something keeps stopping me I feel like I need more information before I can put it into words properly.

I don't want to give a half-formed take and confuse anyone, because my understanding of this is concrete from experience even if my explanation isn't yet. Any example I give right now would be "kind of" rather than "is",

I’m an INFP and I’ve known this ENTJ for a few years now.When we talk, it’s usually about random life topics he tends to be quite interrogative but doesn’t reveal much about himself. He often randomly ask deep questions like what’s your goal in life? and similar things. He also teases a lot during our conversations and somehow seemed to quickly figure out that I’m an INFP without me saying.The dynamic is a bit unusual because I tend to ghost him for long periods sometimes even six months or more(ik im working on it) . But whenever I come back and text him again, he always replies and things go back to normal like nothing happened.He doesn’t seem particularly bothered by the ghosting either. Sometimes he jokes about it or double texts me, saying things like when are you coming back? or do I have to wait until the end of the year? Anyway I don’t really get it , does he like me ?