While I am aware of the irony - if I think I might be, I probably am - I also tend to be a bit of a hypochondriac. That being said I’d be embarrassed to tell you how much/often I drink. I’ve been thinking of going to a meeting “just in case” but I’m scared for both outcomes (either I am an alcoholic or I’m not)

Probably answering my own question here but looking for some support hahahahaha

I repeatedly hear the advice of using Al-Anon in AA for those affected by alcoholics in relationships.

I have a sponsee, looking for advice for their partner. So this weekend I called up a friend who I thought was still in Al-Anon, and she described her experience with Al-Anon, where she had been a member for 2 years, but recently left. It was shocking. I was left aghast at what she told me.

This is the 4th person (I only know of 4 people who have attended, including my wife) who have described it as being a very negative experience, in varying degrees, and for various reasons, up to and including highly questionable behavior. "Toxic" was a recurring theme.

Based upon my conversation with my friend, I went over to the Al-Anon subreddit last night and today - and the language and opinions there give me no reason to disbelieve or discredit my friends, whose opinions and outlook on life, I trust.

I actually never realized that Al-Anon uses an almost identical set of 12 steps as AA, and promotes a spiritual solution. I was hard pressed to find much of anything resembling people exercising a spiritual solution in my admittedly superficial perusal of the Al-Anon subreddit

Is this a common opinion of Al-Anon? Do you know if most people have a good experience in Al-Anon and follow a spiritual path to a solution?

I am conflicted in making a recommendation or endorsement to my sponsee, without being able to stand behind it.

Hello friends, I (24F) am just short of a year sober and working as an EMT and am struggling to reconcile my two different worlds. This has all come to a bit of a head recently following a crash involving a good friend from the rooms.

I was paged out to a crash and as soon as I heard the address, my heart dropped. I knew it was one of the main AA clubs here in town. Sure enough, I arrive on scene and find someone I know well from the rooms facedown in a pool of blood. Without getting into specifics, they are expected to make a full recovery, but in the moment it was fairly jarring. I live and work in a fairly metropolitan area, so seeing people I know at work is not something I'm very used to.

My issue now is this: I am struggling with who to talk to about this. On the one hand, I'd love to be able to talk to my sponsor about it, but I'm worried I may give her identity away accidentally and be in violation of HIPAA. On the other hand, talking to my colleagues about an accident involving someone I know at an AA club doesn't exactly protect my own anonymity either, and I don't discuss my sobriety much at work.

Part of me knows it's really not an issue of privacy, it's more that no matter who I talk to, I worry they won't understand. After we transported her to the hospital, my partner was making jokes about the whole situation. I recognize he was trying to cheer me up, but I didn't have the heart to tell him I knew her personally. Trying to talk to my sponsor about work has always been met with sympathy but also the recognition that she has no idea what it's like.

I feel I'm hitting a wall, and if you've read this far I really do appreciate it. If any first responders or people in similar lines of work have any advice, I'm all ears. Thank you!

I'm a partner of a recently recovering alcoholic. They have 51 days sober today, but they developed a relationship with someone while in an inpatient program and within 16 days of me picking them up they replaced me with this person they met there. I caught her sending this guy nudes, and she's been going on dates but saying she's at meetings. She even went as far as to spend the night with him when she said she was going to visit her cousin and their divorced partner because he had cancer but the guy she met inside has his phone number all over her call logs and messages. I text the guy she he confirmed and verified they were together the whole time, without even putting information in this text.

My question is this something AA condones of its attending members? Replacing a handle a day drinking habit with a sexual relationship built from 16 days? Which ruined a 19 year partnership?

Btw he can keep her

Sincerely,

Confused and Hurt

The walk to the communal recycling bin in my building has become the most stressful part of my week. I’ve started wrapping my empty bourbon bottles in old newspapers and stuffing them at the bottom of the trash bag so they don't clink and tip off my neighbors. I'm 35 years old and I'm sneaking around my own apartment like I'm 16 again. It’s exhausting.

I haven’t been able to keep a real meal down since Tuesday. My diet is basically just black coffee, Gatorade, and whatever liquor I have hidden in the cabinet behind the flour. I’ve got this constant dull pressure under my ribs and my eyes look like I haven't slept in a year. My boss asked me if I was "feeling okay" twice this morning and I just stared at my monitor and nodded because I was afraid he'd smell the booze on my breath if I opened my mouth.

I’ve been trying to map out a way out of this since I clearly can't keep it up much longer. I spent my lunch break today looking at Legacy Healing Center and trying to see if my insurance covers a 30-day stay, but the fear of losing my apartment if I take time off is paralyzing. I’m trapped in this loop where I need the job to pay for the habits that are making me fail at the job.

How do you guys handle the initial panic of quitting? I want to stop but the thought of facing my actual life totally sober is terrifying. My brain just won't shut up.

Why does sobriety feel so hard now I’m in the rooms?

I went 5 months without drinking once and only got twitchy a few times. I felt awful emotionally but had a strong conviction I didn’t want to drink and it wouldn’t solve anything.

Now I’m not even 30 days in and it feels like the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I just want it to end. But before I could go weeks and months without drinking and hardly care.

I just feel like if I actually drank it would be a whole lot easier and I wouldn’t think about wanting to drink all the time. But I know I can’t.

Hi everyone,

I’m reaching out because I’m looking for some clarity on a "gray area" regarding my sobriety date and the concept of "outside issues." I’ve been working on my recovery for a few years now. While I’ve had some good runs in the past, I struggled with relapses for a while. However, I recently cleared 100 days, and right now I am approaching 90 days of continuous sobriety from alcohol.

The last two years were incredibly physical and emotional. I had a very bad accident that required multiple surgeries, and the result is that I live with real, chronic physical pain every day. My back is absolutely destroyed. I have a lot of trauma in other parts of my body, but the back....the back is bad. Because of my history as an alcoholic, my medical team and I are strictly avoiding narcotic pain pills. I’ve worked with non-narcotic pain management specialists, but so far, nothing has worked well enough to allow me to function/get back to life.

I was introduced to Kratom as an option for pain relief. I want to be rigorously honest with the group: it does not make me feel "high," nor do I experience euphoria or other intoxicating side effects. I feel..."normal" - as in I feel the same **mentally** if I've taken some or not. It simply manages the pain just enough to allow me to live my life. Because of this, I’ve been able to return to work full-time after being out for nearly a year due to my injuries. I am present for my family, I am working the steps, and most importantly, I am not drinking. Without Kratom, I can barely stand for 30 minutes. While I'm still in a lot of pain, I'm able to be up and moving for longer periods. Even sitting in chairs can tax me to the point of tapping out. My only relief is laying down. It's the only time my back and arm aren't screaming in pain. To be even more honest, I started Kratom and a week later, I was allowed to return to work. My boss was so happy to have me back, and that i came back so eager and invested, I was promoted two months after returning.

My wife is a huge part of my journey. She has never struggled with addiction herself, but she has become very active in her own recovery through Al-Anon and by working with the wives of other alcoholics. She is in this with me 100%. I’ve asked her for an honest assessment of my behavior, and she confirms that I appear completely sober and present. She is thrilled with my progress and the life we have back. She has never once been concerned or said anything about Kratom, other than I'm making huge strides without alcohol.

I know that if a doctor prescribed me a traditional medication for a physical ailment, it wouldn't take away my "milestone." However, because this is an herbal supplement used for a medical need, I feel a conflict.

My question for the group is this: Does using a substance for documented chronic pain management—one that allows me to work and remain present in my program—take away my "sober" time or change my sobriety date?

Edit: I'm not talking about 7OH or whatever it's called. We're talking about Kratom leaf.

I made a previous post about the AA group I'm in. and feeling like I was bullied.

https://www.reddit.com/r/alcoholicsanonymous/s/E0t3wGVT7u

after a couple more meetings I decided I'll join a new group. I know the people aren't bad or probably like purposely being mean but I guess i just didn't fit in.

I almost wanted to say f*ck it and just do it by myself but I know how important the meetings are and i refuse to risk falling off the wagon.

plus I wanna make some sober friends lol. wish me luck

I (26F) have been completely sober (and clean, but never liked being on any other substance anyway-) for 3.5 years. i have a great life today, deep in service, have a good core friend group around me, im rigorously honest with my sponsor, and i have always taken any possible prescriptions exactly as prescribed…

and 2 weeks ago i had bronchitis (saw a doc) and he prescribed a simple cough medicine. *i have always avoided any cough syrups with codeine, and i don’t reach for extra strength if i don’t need it* & there was zero issue as i was dosing correctly while taking my medicine the last while (bear with me for singleness of purpose—allow me to clarify this relevance below). so i still have a residual cough and i took the cough medicine almost every day because the pain was getting worse and unbearable (i partially dislocated my ribs coughing so hard and had to tape them so they wouldn’t expand because im hypermobile), but today before meeting with a sponsee i was rushing to leave the house as my Uber waited outside when i remembered to take it because a new coughing fit had started, and so i didn’t measure it in the rush naively and i misjudged those two baby sips (meant to be 2 teaspoons).

Anyway, nothing terrifying, yes i was measuring doses before that rush this evening, was fine during my AA meeting, and then it went away. but then it came back, and long story short-ish: i panicked and got assessed by paramedics in my driveway. i told you, i hate the feeling of other substances. they said nothing seemed emergent, i didn’t have too much i just needed to rest,

but the reason im posting is because i felt triggered because it reminded me viscerally of my “flash” memories while blackout drinking years ago, flash meaning just incremental. it felt scary because its a lack of stimulation and awareness im no longer accustomed to and its such a blessing to be able to say that, thinking when i came in these rooms in 2022 id never want to stay. in other words, it was an honest mistake but the shame feelings from when old me would’ve taken advantage of that kinda situation surfaced, even though it didn’t match. a pain body, if you’re familiar with Echart Tolle.

and im proud that i took care of myself. i woke my roommate up but she said it was in my head, i tried calling my bf who lives an hour away for support because i faint at hospitals but he was fast asleep, called a closeby friend but ‘asleep, then a friend who did answer reminded me before rushing to the hospital i could just be simply assessed by paramedics first at my address for peace of mind. im safe in bed and letting my body cool down, journalling and praying, but i felt so nervous as if i did something wrong, like embarrassment washed over me however i genuinely did not purposefully do that to myself, so my motives are intact and innocent. i truly care about putting my sobriety first and that challenge showed me i am capable of advocating for myself—something old-me could never sanely do when in a worrisome urgent position. i am so grateful to be away from needing or wanting those general effects, but it felt so isolating to make the judgment call and im proud i care enough about myself today to right a careless mistake and try to protect myself.

im grateful it didn’t spur on any cravings, and im grateful for that experience in one way because it reminded me how i am NOT missing out (even if i knew that since life’s been good anyway).

just looking for any kind of support as this was still pretty jarring since it was unexpected but i’m meeting with my sponsor tomorrow and i again assure you it wasn’t intentional but just more of a refresher on what i don’t miss and wanted to share.

One thing I find unfortunate in AA sponsorship is the tendency to answer too many situations with slogans, canned lines, or memorized phrases from the Big Book.

Not every sponsee is the same, and not every situation should be handled the same way. One size does not fit all.

A lot of sponsors do this for two reasons. First, they cannot tolerate another person’s emotional pain for very long. They need to shut it down quickly. Whether the pain is distorted, exaggerated, or completely valid is not even the point. The point is that they often cannot stay there with the other person long enough to really understand what is happening.

Second, many just do not know what else to do. So they reach for the same familiar lines again and again, as if every struggle could be solved by the right phrase from the program.

But sponsors are supposed to help from experience, not from memorization. Sponsorship is not supposed to be a recital of slogans or favorite quotations. It is supposed to be grounded in listening, discernment, and lived experience.

What helped one alcoholic will not necessarily help another in the same way. Sometimes what is needed is not a phrase, but the willingness to stay, listen, and understand before speaking.

*Based on 33 years in AA. Organized with ChatGPT.

Yesterday I made a post about being scared to go to AA and I had the greatest experience, I heard stories very similar to mine, I talked about my experience and I had a moment to be real with myself. It’s now day two of sober living and I was told to come back and I’m now spending the whole day here so I can just focus on being better. So thank you to everyone that was there in my post telling me how amazing it will be because it truly is!

Hi everyone. For a few months now I’ve been struggling to fight off the evening struggle to drink. I keep trying and even bragging to my mom and partner if I get past 2 days. I don’t know what I can do to distract the cravings, I’ve tried things like mocktails, 0.0 wine or simply just going to bed and taking melatonin at 7pm.

Does anyone have any recommendations? Please

Hi everyone,

I’m starting my 4th Step with my sponsor and I’m feeling a little confused about the format.

I’ve seen a lot of 4th Step guides online with multiple columns, really detailed prompts, and a lot of deep digging. But my sponsor ( 44 years sober) has me doing it very simply, straight from the Big Book:

I’m resentful at

The cause

It affects my (self-esteem, security, etc.)

That’s it—keeping it pretty straightforward.

Part of me feels relieved it’s simple, but another part of me worries I’m not going deep enough or “doing it right” compared to all the detailed worksheets out there.

I’m also curious—does anyone know why Bill W. kept the 4th Step format in the Big Book so simple? Was that intentional to keep people from overthinking it?

For those of you who have done the 4th Step (or sponsor others):

Is the simple Big Book format enough?

Did you use worksheets or keep it basic?

If you sponsor people, how do you guide them through it?

I don’t want to overcomplicate this, but I also want to be honest and thorough.

Thanks in advance 🙏

How many of you got sober to actually bring about change in your whole life. I did. I used it as a complete catalyst for change. Every single aspect I could. Lost weight for fit volunteer do therepy help others in the rooms put down my phone no social media except a bit of reddit while on the throne. I was in a meeting lately and this guy was sharing how he got sober and his family turned away from him when he was drinking and he in turn wouldn't go back to his family or make amends. He shared how he just walks his dog. Works the same job same hours everyday even goes to the local pub to see his old friends but doesn't drink. It kinda dawned on me that he kinda got sober for no reason. He's no better off now sober then he was drinking. His life is still a mess. I leave him to it I'll mind my own business but it seems in my home group that pretty much all of us are very active with improving all aspects of our lives daily with the help of the programme. I'm an engineer and I'm always trying to get better and more consistent. Always doing side courses not for increases in wages but just to get a little bit better everyday.

​

**This is a long ramble, I know. But I'm just so so so alone and really need support. I'm stuck in a desperate rut. Even if any 1 person out there just gave up 3 minutes of their day to listen to me it'd mean the absolute world you have no clue!**

(@mods I really tried my best to follow all the rules to a T but I'm only human. These topics are deeply personal and sensitive. Please please be understanding and just let me know directely so I can simply edit it out. I truly am desperate, have no where else to turn to except the community so it would be absolutely devastating to find out that my cry for help was suddenly deleted.)

***Disclaimer: Alcohol detox can be deadly. Please seek medical advise. What may work for others may not for you.***

Soo, without out further of do....

Firstly, thank you for taking the time out of your day to listen to me. A brief background:

I'm 29F and I've basically been drinking up to 1.7 to up to 3 bottles of wine per day in thevafternoons/evenings everyday for the last 3-4 years (obviously, it was a problem that happened gradually over like 10-12 years but has just gotten bad now toward the end). Recently, it's been in the higher end 2-3 bottles with each bottle containing about 8 standard drinks... So that makes about 16-24+ standard drinks per day. Generally drinking at the same time around 5pm until late at night, getting inadequate sleep and somehow "functioning" throughout the hangovers during the day but physically and emotionally dying inside. It's a sad, shameful, embarassing and miserable

existence. I know.

I'm sick of living like this, 90% of my all my life problems, my platonic, non-platonic, familial, and professional relationships, my monetary, reputation, law issuew etc. have all stemmed from alcohol onevwsy or another. There's a lot more to it all and if I type it all out this already long post will never end. Happy to discuss more in detail directly to anyone interested though.

Essentially, I'm long past rock bottom, that ship sailed away a loooong time ago.

I've watched people die from it and I'm terrified of that being me one day . We recently just heard about how a long term dearly beloved family friend of ours suddenly died who had an alcohol dependency. He was like a Father/Uncle figure to me and was the sweetest man, never an angry drunk, and was great with us as kids! Such a beautiful soul taken too soon from this world and he died in such a sad way all alone on a couch being discovered days later by his poor wife.

My Aunts sister who was not much older than my current age passed after struggling with alcohol. None of them were bad people. Just depressed. I cannot let that happen to me!

Heck! I'm not even enjoying it anymore and can't fully understand why I'm still doing it, it's literally just this embarassing terrible habit of mine that I go to EXTREME lengths to keep hidden from everyone... but on the contrary, it means I isolate myself to the point where I'm feel completely alone and either contemplating unaliving myself or moping about how sad and deep this black hole in my chest feels.

I'm relatively young at 29 with a TRUE zest for life! But I just want to feel and be normal. If I continue like this I WILL certainly destroy myself and wind up dead. I'm too young to die and I still have so much more I want to do with my life... So much more of the world I desperately want to see and explore... So many dreams and aspirations I just can't bear the thought of losing out on from something completely self inflicted and preventable. Nightmares of my obituary where I die before age 35 haunt the crap out me! Such a waste of life!

Please help me! I just need support, compassion, and that extra push from the community because I feel like I'm losing all options.

In regards to my recent efforts to quit and their failures:

Essentially, over the last month or so I've been taking quitting or at least cutting back more seriously but I always seem to fail around the 48 hr mark. Especially rn. I've been out of work for months now, therefore, no sense of purpose. I'm single with no kids. My only brother+ sister in law are raising their family who live in different country and likewise with the rest of extended family. The only family I have with me here my parents... But they're getting older and obviously won't be around forever.

Funny thing is I'm a massive extrovert with a very large "friend" group yet somehow terribly lonely only 1 or 2 I can actually rely on for actual friendship... In fact, I haven't even told them about the sheer extent of my alcohol problem. They'd probably be completely understanding and open minded. It's just the shame and stigma I struggle to overcome which I'm sure the community understands. My parents aren't dumb but they don't even grasp the extent of it or even understand the mechanisms of addiction.

But my biggest barrier as of late is that I have had an injury/surgery that's prevented me from doing sport and activities I enjoy whilst recovering these last couple months. Heck! Even that injury was the result of or related to bloody alcohol!

Things actually started lighting up for a bit there too until this injury/surgery happened and it's been downhill from there after suddenly not being able to participate in my newly found social hobbies... Subsequently, worsening my depression and isolation... Leading to drinking to the worst it's ever been since I'm naturally outgoing but have basically become so bored I end up drinking more with nothing else to do except be stuck in my own thoughts.

However, the 1 BIG reason I absolutely NEED to do this now or never is that I am starting a new full time job in 1 week time and I cannot be rocking up hungover/still semi intoxicated and falling asleep at the desk OR show up mid through the worst 48-76hr withdrawal point. I'm already going to struggle as is getting back in into that 8-5pm work routine again after months of no work. But add the alcohol to the mix and it's a stressful disaster.

I've tried and tried quitting/cutting back. I tried just drinking less, I tried tapering, but eventually realised that once I have 1 drink I literally cannot stop myself, tried naloxone, tried hobby replacement/socialising which was probably the most successful until my injury/unemployment so I couldn't do the hobbies I loved. Cold turkey feels like the only way for me because I'm running out of time both figuratively and literally.

So here I am. I'm so bloody desperate I'm turning to a bunch of strangers on the internet, who at least know exactly what I'm going through, for support. Which feels so pathetic but what other option do I have? I only have about 7 days left to make this work but I've been screwing it up every time.

For example, over the last 1-2 weeks at my usual 4-6pm time, I've been saying to myself "okay! last drink sesh tonight" and I guess since I know it's the last I end up over doing it and having ridiculous amounts I was never having like 2-3 bottles, waking up the next day feeling absolutely horrible for 24 whole hrs. Then not drinking for that 1st day because of how shit and unproductive I felt basically sleeping all day but somehow always always ALWAYS failing at that 2nd day/48hrs only to do it all over again.

Right now is probably like the 8th time in a row I'm doing this in the last month. Except, work is near! On the plus my injury is healing so I can try replacing my drinking hobby in the afternoon with sports I love again.

I can't remember the last time I lasted past 48hrs, but it's always been my give up point. The main symptoms I get is extreme anxiety, restlessness, cravings, and struggle sleeping.

Right now I'm 24hrs in. Fortunately, I have a diazapem prescription.

FYI I'm prescribed this for a legitimate medical reason and something completely different, I'm not dependent on it, can easily stop taking it for months with no issues, and have been using it responsibly for years under doctor supervision who is completely aware of my substance abuse. It simply has just never been a recreational thing to me.

**PLEASE do NOT use benzodiazipines WITHOUT medical prescription particularly if you struggle with alcohol use disorder. Mixing the two can be deadly and without medical supervision you end up in a terrible situation.**

Anyways, it's to treat anxiety/panic attacks.

Obviously, with me trying to quit alcohol my anxiety has been worse than usual and my valium has been working very well in managing my anxiety/restlessness side of things.

But little in getting rid off that constant craving nagging in the back of my head of a years long daily habit of "ooop! It's 4-6pm now. You know what that means!"

Again, I'm NOT self-medicating with illicit drugs. I'm treating a preexisting condition that would still need valium irregardless of whether I was sober or not sober. Although, I'm also not naiive and I know that the valium will likely lower my risk of seizures and deleriums associated with alcohol withdrawal. I've never been prone to these, then again I can't remember thw last time I went past 48hrs. So, of course, if I notice anything wrong, I am immediately rushing straight to the emergency room and will just have to live with the fact my family finds out how bad it got.

The main reason I'm going about it this way is the shame and how much I'm hiding it from friends and family. My family is veeeery misinformed when it comes to the mechanisms of addiction. They are the whole "I don't get it, all you have to do is just NOT drink. It's so simple" --type of people. In an ideal world I would've long ago just checked myself into a rehab centre but the idea of tarnishing myself like that is mortifying. I'm not advising anyone go about quitting like this! If you have the support, get it!

All in all. I'm not going to drink tonight, I'll just struggle sleeping. But I really am just worried about tomorrow afternoon where I reach that 48hr mark and I suddenly just cannot control myself.

PLEASE! I'm begging anyone out there to just be there for me, reach out, PM idc... Please just be there to support and give words of encouragement. It will be SUCH a huge accomplishment if I can just get to that 76hour mark this one time and then we csn figure out the rest.

Any tips, advice from anyone who has successfully seem the other side... Anyone who just so happens to be also be at this 24/48hr mark right now too and going through the same thing, feels terribly alone, and who wants to chat so we can fight this battle together is more than welcome to flick me a message and we can just chat. Complain about life, check in on each other, cry, laugh, feel pain... Anything!

I'm desperate but still determined!

Open to all. I'm at my last straw.

Thank you so much forveven taking the time to read all of this and for listening to me if you've made it this far through my rambles. Even if you just read the TLDR bit, it's enough. Thank you!

I will give an update after 76hours to let you know where I'm at. I see light at the other end of the tunnel.

TL:DR: 24hrs into 8th detox attempt. I'm desperate. Alone. Scared. I'm begging that anyone please reach out or even PM me and give me support, advice and motivation so we can finally succeed in ending this horrible disease. Truly am desperate at my last straw and I'll take any support I can to stay sober. I just can't bear the loneliness I feel right now... And I really don't want to do something reckless like hurt myself or worse beforevI even turn 30!

Hey guys hope you are doing well.

This month I had a bit of a realization and honestly chose to admit tjat I have a problem with alcohol. It's the excuse and deals with myself that got me thinking. I've been consuming alcohol on a daily basis for years and now I'm 2 weeks off the drink.

BUT.

Why am I noticing the finest details on my body? Like stomach aches and general body aches and pains all over. Did anyone of you expriece this?

Thank you for your time.

I'm asking cause finally I'm feeling good with myself except for the aches and pains.

SELF-EXAMINATION

April 20

. . . we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 86

When said sincerely, this prayer teaches me to be truly unselfish and humble, for even in doing good deeds I often used to seek approval and glory for myself. By examining my motives in all that I do, I can be of service to God and others, helping them do what they want to do. When I put God in charge of my thinking, much needless worry is eliminated and I believe He guides me throughout the day. When I eliminate thoughts of self-pity, dishonesty and self-centeredness as soon as they enter my mind, I find peace with God, my neighbor and myself.

— Reprinted from "Daily Reflections", April 20, with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.

I want to be sober to be there for my sone and my ex fiance but I’m scared of the consequences of my actions from drinking. I had a buddy at work tell me that they give you a token of sobriety on your first day sometimes and I want to it but I’m worried I don’t end up going

Dear AA friends, I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your help. Thanks to you, I can celebrate my 45th AA birthday today. I never thought I would be able to write these lines someday. So I want to tell you: it is possible, with the help of your higher power, as you understand it.