New to Sobriety and Conflicted
Hi everyone,
I’m reaching out because I’m looking for some clarity on a "gray area" regarding my sobriety date and the concept of "outside issues." I’ve been working on my recovery for a few years now. While I’ve had some good runs in the past, I struggled with relapses for a while. However, I recently cleared 100 days, and right now I am approaching 90 days of continuous sobriety from alcohol.
The last two years were incredibly physical and emotional. I had a very bad accident that required multiple surgeries, and the result is that I live with real, chronic physical pain every day. My back is absolutely destroyed. I have a lot of trauma in other parts of my body, but the back....the back is bad. Because of my history as an alcoholic, my medical team and I are strictly avoiding narcotic pain pills. I’ve worked with non-narcotic pain management specialists, but so far, nothing has worked well enough to allow me to function/get back to life.
I was introduced to Kratom as an option for pain relief. I want to be rigorously honest with the group: it does not make me feel "high," nor do I experience euphoria or other intoxicating side effects. I feel..."normal" - as in I feel the same **mentally** if I've taken some or not. It simply manages the pain just enough to allow me to live my life. Because of this, I’ve been able to return to work full-time after being out for nearly a year due to my injuries. I am present for my family, I am working the steps, and most importantly, I am not drinking. Without Kratom, I can barely stand for 30 minutes. While I'm still in a lot of pain, I'm able to be up and moving for longer periods. Even sitting in chairs can tax me to the point of tapping out. My only relief is laying down. It's the only time my back and arm aren't screaming in pain. To be even more honest, I started Kratom and a week later, I was allowed to return to work. My boss was so happy to have me back, and that i came back so eager and invested, I was promoted two months after returning.
My wife is a huge part of my journey. She has never struggled with addiction herself, but she has become very active in her own recovery through Al-Anon and by working with the wives of other alcoholics. She is in this with me 100%. I’ve asked her for an honest assessment of my behavior, and she confirms that I appear completely sober and present. She is thrilled with my progress and the life we have back. She has never once been concerned or said anything about Kratom, other than I'm making huge strides without alcohol.
I know that if a doctor prescribed me a traditional medication for a physical ailment, it wouldn't take away my "milestone." However, because this is an herbal supplement used for a medical need, I feel a conflict.
My question for the group is this: Does using a substance for documented chronic pain management—one that allows me to work and remain present in my program—take away my "sober" time or change my sobriety date?
Edit: I'm not talking about 7OH or whatever it's called. We're talking about Kratom leaf.