r/PinoyUnsentLetters

Tangina naman kasi, bakit ba hirap akong mag-move on eh hindi naman naging tayo? Pesteng attachment issues na to. Panira ng buhay. Hayyy

I thought I was being honest back then. I kept telling myself I was just careful, just taking things slow, just protecting my peace. It sounded right in my head. It felt responsible. But it wasn’t honesty. It was me avoiding things I didn’t know how to face.

You were one of the few people who actually tried to understand me. Not just the surface version, but the parts I don’t usually show. And instead of meeting you there, I kept pulling back. Not in a big obvious way, just little things. Delayed replies. Half answers. Acting like everything was fine when it wasn’t.

A part of me expected you to push through it. I thought you’d call me out, ask harder questions, stay anyway. But you didn’t. You respected what I was showing you, even if it wasn’t the full truth. And eventually, you left.

I remember seeing you after that. You didn’t say much, but it was obvious something changed. You seemed hurt, just quieter about it. I noticed, I just didn’t do anything. I acted normal like nothing happened, and you went along with it even if it clearly cost you something.

Then you tried again. You opened up, gave it another chance. And I panicked. Not because I didn’t care, but because I cared more than I was comfortable admitting. So I did what I always do. I deflected. I avoided. I made it unclear again. I think that was the moment you finally gave up.

Now I keep replaying everything. Not in a dramatic way, just in random moments. Conversations that feel empty. People who are nice, but don’t really reach me. It’s not their fault. It just feels different. With you, things felt real in a way I wasn’t ready for.

You saw me for who I was and who I could be. And instead of leaning into that, I got scared. It felt like I was losing control, like I couldn’t hide behind my usual excuses anymore.

I told myself I was choosing myself back then. But I wasn’t. I chose comfort. I chose ego. I chose things that didn’t require me to be vulnerable.

You were actually choosing yourself the whole time. You were honest, open, and clear about what you felt. And I didn’t know how to meet you there.

I didn’t lose you all at once. I let you go slowly, through all the moments I chose not to show up. And now I’m left with that, knowing I had something real and didn’t know what to do with it.

May nabasa ako rito nung nakaraan. Sabi, lason daw ang pag-ibig sa babaeng may pangarap.

Alam mo ba, araw-araw, walang palya, naiisip kita.

Paggising ko, tinitingnan ko kung may mensahe ba mula sa'yo. Ilang beses kitang kinukulit sa maghapon. Sa gabi, ikaw ang gusto kong kausap. Bago matulog, hinihiling ko sa hangin na sana, maging mabuti ang mundo sa'yo. Kagabi, hindi ako makatulog kakaisip sa kung gaano kalupit sa'yo ang tadhana, kaya nagdasal ako kahit alam natin parehong hindi ako maka-Diyos. Humingi ako ng pabor sa Kanya, na kung isa lang sa'ting dalawa ang pwedeng maging masaya, sana ikaw 'yon.

Minsan, natatakot ako sa kung gaano ako kahandang iwanan ang lahat para sa'yo. Kung paanong ayos lang na ialay ko ang sarili kong buhay kung kapalit no'n ay ang kasiguruhang malalagay ka sa maayos.

Sabi, lason daw ang pag-ibig sa babaeng may pangarap.

Bahagi ka ng mga pangarap ko.

Pero lason ang pag-ibig ko sa'yo.

I guess it's because all I have of us is the delusion that you loved me, that you still love me. It's because it reveals the sharp reality that I was avoiding for a very long time, that it's never gonna be me. And yes, it is bitterness, but it is also pain.

Maybe loving, even ending unsuccessfully, is worth it. Because what is life without love? But loving can also be its own kind of torture, as if screaming under water.

You will only find happiness with yourself.

No one will make you happy, but yourself.

I wish clarity for you.

I hope you get that clarity.

I hope your heart gets the peace and tranquility it deserves.

Six years ago, when I was reviewing for my medtech board exam, you caught me sleeping after studying and told that meant I was going to fail. "okay lang yan matulog ka lang, may next board exam pa naman" knowing I was juggling board review and 1st year med that time.

You said it so confidently too, like one moment of rest erased all the work I had been putting in.

Then the results came out. You were so sure I didn’t make it that you didn’t even check my name first. You looked for your friends’ names before mine, because you had already passed the medtech boards ahead of me and I guess you really believed I wouldn’t.

But I passed.

You congratulated me, sure, but you never apologized for the way you spoke to me and doubted me. And maybe that stayed with me more than I wanted to admit. I should've broken up with you the moment you said it but I stayed for 3 more years.

Your words did damage. Even years later, when I was preparing for the PLE, I still carried the weight of what you said and how you treated me back then. That kind of doubt sticks. It gets in your head. It makes you question yourself even when you’re doing everything right.

But look at me now.

I passed the PLE on my first take too.

And not only that. I now own my own laboratory.

Do you remember when I asked you before if you wanted to be the medtech in case I ever opened a lab someday? You got mad because you thought I was pitying you and told me you don't need my help?

Funny, looking back now. Because that “someday” happened.

I’m not writing this because I still need validation from you. I don’t. I’m not expecting a response. And this isn’t because I haven’t moved on. I have. I’ve met someone I genuinely want to spend the rest of my life with. I just think it’s wild how someone can speak so lightly about another person’s future and not realize how long that hurt can last.

This is just me finally getting this off my chest, once and for all. Saying what I never got to say back then.

And after this, I’m done with it. I’m never speaking about this again.

Still, I made it.

Twice. I never failed.

- RMT, MD

You came into my life unexpectedly, and we connected well. I didn’t expect to meet someone like you in my life, and I’m very thankful I got to know you. I know I decided to walk away, and you said you’d understand. But I’m writing this just so you’ll know better.

 

We really thought we understood each other, but I think we didn’t. I decided to walk away because I see how you’re being careful not to hurt me, which ends up hurting yourself. I will walk away so you’ll be free from my expectations. I know I said that I’ll be by your side until you say to me that you don’t want me here anymore. And I think you can’t say that to me because you’re afraid of hurting me, so I’ll save you the pain and responsibility of deciding.

 

I’ll be gone from your life so you can start over fresh and do things right this time around. I know we both have our faults, and I think that me walking away would help both of us to be free from the chains of the past mistakes we’ve made. Let’s do things right this time.

 

I’m sorry for being difficult. I’m sorry for making you feel wronged and doubted. I’m sorry for trying to control your life. I’m sorry for saying hurtful things. I’m really sorry for every wrong thing I did. You didn’t deserve that kind of treatment from me. I thought I was doing well with our relationship, but I failed to see the faults until it was too late. You did your best to try and help me, but I was immature and too demanding. I hope you can forgive me someday for all the things I did. I’m sorry for everything.

 

Thank you for making me feel alive. Thank you for trying your best in everything. Thank you for all the memories. I will cherish those memories with me until the end. It was a painful ending, but all the experiences we had together were worth all the pain.

 

Please don’t be too hard on yourself. I know how kind you are, and you’ll probably feel sorry for hurting me as well, but sometimes these kinds of things happen no matter what. I also know I can’t give you the love that you need and want right now, as I’m still in this pathetic version of me. So I’m letting you go.

 

May you find the love that doesn’t require you to try too much just to be believed. May you find someone who can give you the things I couldn’t give. May you find the love of your life where you can be truly you. I pray for your genuine happiness and wellness.

 

You know I’m still hoping that maybe one day we’ll find our way back into each other—the best version of us—and I hope that when that time comes, I still have the chance. The chances are slim to none, but I’m not losing hope. For now, I’ll focus on myself and try to get rid of this pathetic and loser version of mine. I promised you I’ll be better, and I’ll keep that promise. I’ll take good care of myself and make myself better.

 

Take care of yourself too. Continue to do the things you love, and don’t lose your spark. You are too precious, and the world is really lucky to have you in it. I love you always.

So long, my sunshine.

story faded,

named forgotten,

song? the only thing that remained.

You don’t have to explain why you’re tired.

Not the kind of tired that sleep fixes, but the kind that comes from carrying things you never really got a break from. Family expectations that feel heavier than love sometimes. Conversations at home that leave more tension than warmth. The pressure to be okay when you’re clearly not.

I want you to know something simple but important: surviving your own home life, your own thoughts, and your own relationships at the same time is not small. It is not something people always see, but it is something that takes so much out of you.

Maybe your family doesn’t know how to meet you where you are. Maybe they love you in ways that feel confusing, or loud, or not enough. Maybe you’ve learned to stay quiet just to keep the peace, even when your chest is already full of things you wish you could say.

And if your mind has been loud lately, if it keeps replaying worst-case scenarios or old conversations or fears that don’t seem to leave you alone, you are not strange for that. You are not weak for feeling overwhelmed by your own thoughts. You are just human, trying to function in a world that rarely slows down for what you carry inside.

Relationships don’t always make it easier either. Sometimes they feel like hope and stress in the same breath. You want closeness, but you’re also scared of needing too much. You want to be understood, but you’ve been misunderstood before, so you hold back. And that in-between space can be exhausting.

Still, if you are here, still reading this, still moving through your days even when it feels heavy, there is something in you that keeps choosing to continue, even if it is quiet, even if it does not feel strong.

And I hope you don’t overlook that part of yourself.

You are not required to fix everything all at once: not your family dynamics, not your mental health, not your relationships. You are allowed to take things in smaller pieces. You are allowed to rest without earning it. You are allowed to not have the perfect version of yourself figured out right now.

Some days, “doing your best” will look like answering messages. Some days it will look like disappearing for a while just to breathe. Both are valid. Both are still you trying.

And if no one has told you this in a way that actually lands, let it be said plainly:

You are still deserving of gentleness, even in the parts of you that feel messy or uncertain. You are still worthy of care, even when you are not functioning at your best. You are still allowed to hope for relationships that feel safe, for a home that feels softer, and for a mind that is not constantly at war with itself.

Things may not change overnight. But the fact that you are still here means your story is not done repeating the same chapter forever.

There is still more ahead than what has been weighing on you lately.

I’ve been paying attention, and the pattern is clear.

You talk about other people’s private lives like they’re stories you own. Their relationships, their mistakes, even their pictures 🤮, you share them casually, like it’s nothing. Like their boundaries don’t exist.

And you do the same thing in a different way with me.

You say you’ll follow up, then you don’t. You leave things hanging, then come back like nothing happened. You had time to go out, to spend a whole day at an amusement park, to sit at dinner with friends, but somehow, a few seconds to keep your word was too much.

And when I called, you answered, but you didn’t show up. You made me sit there listening to you talk to other people, like I was background noise. Can you imagine how dehumanizing was that? I felt like I was in a "Black Mirror" episode, listening to you and your friend's conversation, while I was sitting there, inanimate, voiceless, as if I'm just an accessory.

So let’s not call this “busy.” Let’s not call this “bad timing.”

This is a pattern.

You don’t respect people’s privacy.

You don’t respect people’s time.

And you don’t respect people enough to be accountable to them.

At this point, it’s not even surprising. It’s consistent. And consistency like that says everything.

You keep saying you’re sorry. You say you regret your actions.

Then why are we still having the same conversations, over and over, for months?

If you were truly sorry, I wouldn’t have to sit here explaining the same things to you again and again, for months. Not just one night, W. Months.

How many apologies have I heard?

How many “it’s not my intention”?

Countless.

And yet nothing changes. You’re still the same, doing the same things.

You said you should have ended this six months ago because all you did was hurt me. That’s not true.

Six months ago, you needed me. You were in a toxic relationship of your own making, and you needed someone to talk to, someone to give you insight. That’s why you stayed. That's why I stayed. You even begged me to stay.

And in those six months, it wasn’t just me getting hurt.

You were losing people. You were grieving. You were spiraling. You were putting yourself in unsafe situations. And despite everything, despite how you treated me, despite you pushing me away, I stayed.

I checked on you. I made sure you were okay. I asked how you were, even after you told me talking to me felt like a chore.

That’s the difference between us.

You treat people based on their utility to you.

When you needed me, I mattered.

When you didn’t, you treated me as disposable.

And I stayed, because I knew the last thing you needed was someone else leaving while you were already breaking.

Staying didn’t make you better. It just made it easier for you to keep doing the same things to me.

And now you send messages like:

“I hope you have a fantastic two years… I want happiness and a long life for you…”

Those aren’t kind words. They’re empty.

If you truly wanted that for me, I wouldn’t have had to beg for your time. I wouldn’t have had to chase you just to be acknowledged. I wouldn’t have had to sit there while you treated me like background noise.

You can say whatever you want, but people aren’t judged by words, they’re judged by actions.

And if there’s one thing I’ve learned from you, it’s this, treating people with basic human decency is something you struggle with, especially when they’re no longer useful to you.

So you can wish me well all you want, but when your actions say the opposite, there’s only one way to describe it -- two-faced. Fake.

Dear Me,

It really hurts to know that no matter what you do, no one will love you. I've tried changing myself or staying the same but no matter what, it doesn't do anything.

I don't know what's wrong with me. It feels like there's just something about me that no one wants forever. Is it so wrong for me to want the same happiness that my peers experience? While they're out there celebrating anniversaries, I'm right here struggling to keep a conversation going for a few days.

A guy I once talked to told me, "our conversation is something I doubt I would commit to." That just brings me back to how temporary I am.

For almost three months now, being near you has felt like standing at the edge of something immeasurable, like the sea at night when even silence feels alive. I’ve come to know you in tides rather than moments, the rise and fall of your breath, the quiet weight you carry in your body, the rhythm your days fall into, and the hidden weather of thoughts you don’t always speak aloud. You are not simply someone I talk to, you are someone I’ve begun to recognize in absence, in pause, in the spaces between words. And there is something almost reverent in that, something I keep gently.

To hold you in my thoughts like this is to want to be the calm that doesn’t demand anything from you. To meet you where you are without noise, without urgency, to make room for every version of you that exists without explanation, the brightness, the heaviness, and the quiet in between. You make me want to remain, even when nothing is being said, even when distance stretches the space between us, as if staying itself is a language I am learning just for you.

I find myself wanting to know you beyond the shape you already show, not to possess, but to understand in a way that is patient and unafraid. I wanna learn more of you. The thoughts you leave unfinished, the silences that mean more than words, the inner currents that pull you away and bring you back again. I want to exist gently in those unseen places where you do not have to perform or explain, only be.

And this feels like the most unguarded version of me I have ever offered, caring without conditions, without demand, without asking the world to give anything back. Just let me. Let me stay as something soft and steady in your orbit, something that does not interrupt but remains.

Because knowing you like this, slowly and quietly, feels like learning a language the ocean only speaks once in a while, and I do not want to translate it quickly. I only want to keep listening, as long as you let me.

Hey, friend. Whoever you are, I just saw a post saying:

"I genuinely think one of the most intimate things in the entire world is wanting someone when you're tired. Like woah, I just had the longest day I've ever had in my entire life and I never wanna speak to anyone ever again but I really want you next to me”

I really do hope you're with me right now, I want to talk to you so much. I want to rest with you, I want to have brain scratching, intuitive, or intellectual conversations with you. I just want you to be here.

I do agree with the post, to genuinely have someone to be intimate with when you're tired.

I'm exhausted right now, and to be with you whilst being so tired would be great. I would be grateful to be able to spend a short time with you, if it's possible.

Thank you if you allow me to spend time with you. If only that is possible right now. If only that is possible right now.

I hope you're doing well.

- P

Dear self,

Sana mahanap mo na yung trabahong matagal mo na pinagdarasal. Sana dumating yung panahon na hindi mo sisisihin yung sarili mo dahil nagresign ka without backup due to burn out sa prev work mo. Mahirap lalo na finigigure out mo lang din ang buhay lalo na nagsisimula ka na harapin ang hamon ng buhay.

Kaya natin ‘to. Sana makakuha na tayo ng JO mamaya.

Hi G

Kabisado ko na ata ang...

Oras ng uwi mo ( 5:00 PM sharp)

Lagi mo inoorder na drinks sa coffee shop (matcha)

Favorite snacks mo (potato corner)

Pangalan ng aso mo (Primo)

Kinakatakutan mo (butiki)

Yung tunog ng tawa mo

Ngiti mo

Reaksyon ng mukha mo pag di masarap ang food

Mga ayaw at gusto mo

Atbp.

Silent listener at observer mo lang ako pero hnd ako stalker ah hahaha Ah basta crush lang to (crush lang to promise). Nga pala wag ka masyado mag pink kasi lalo ka gumaganda yoko ng may kaagaw 😅.

NonetheLest

hi love,

i thought i’d been doing well handling this separation.

not until saturday.

i don’t know if it was a coincidence or not, because i knew there was a possibility you might be there that day.

it’s funny how i automatically looked for you in the crowd, and when i couldn’t find you, i completely gave up on the idea that you’d come. but then you actually did, when i least expected it. and you hugged me—twice.

today i’m missing you a little extra, and to be honest, i really needed your hug.

but then, am i missing you, or just the feeling of having you?

you came up to me, complimented me, and we had a quick chat. i didn‘t really think much of it until i got home.

i've been in a bad mental space for years now, and i both look and feel at my worst right now. it just confuses me that in all those years of not taking care of myself, i only got complimented on at my worst--messy bun, random T-shirt, and shorts,* peklat *everywhere, and with the biggest weight gain of my life.

so a part of me wants to thank you, na para bang may nakakakita pa rin ng silver lining, ika nga. but another part of me feels confused about how all of this happened. was i about to be scammed? was i acting apprehensive towards you? was it really just a regular awkward chat? was this just a dare? ano ba 'tong isip ko. sobrang unusual kasi ng ganitong pangyayari sa buhay ko (lmao), but i also don't really mind that nothing will come out of that one short conversation. that's just how it is.

i guess ang conclusion lang natin for today is: i need to ask my psych if i need to change the dosage for my anxiety meds. and sorry if i acted rude...

I don't know if this is just an unfinished grief, but I miss you, but the same time I am no longer hoping for us to choose us again. Both can co-exist i believe. Still, can I miss you and us saying each other's name repeatedly? Though there are hundreds of reasons for us to finally say goodbye. I am no longer hoping for us to choose us again, or maybe for now? Again, hoping may just be an unfinished grief. Is everything an unfinished grief when you visit my mind? This isn't really about you anymore, it's me and my own growth. Is to think of each other means we are not moving forward?

Maybe it's just about missing something you used to share, and not the person themselves. It used to be him specifically, but that has to do with me and my perspective, on how I see him. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I was just his observer, lover, believer, whatever they call it. But to move on you don't have to do that anymore, you don't have to see what's in them, you don't have to see what's new that could make them special. We were just humans mirroring each other. Now we’re no longer mirrors or reflections of one another, we chose to grow apart. I hope it really is that, because it feels kinder than saying one of us gave up on the other.

God always answers my prayers, I know, A.

I guess praying for someone is a form of love language. That's how I show my love to family, friends, and even my crushes.

I remember, for about 2 years (from 2023-2025), I prayed na "sana may taong magpapasaya sa crush ko." After he rejected me, I prayed to God to give him someone who would give him the happiness, comfort, and peace he deserves, as I know the start of his college was very chaotic.

And bwala! God gave him a loving partner.

Second, after multiple failed and toxic relationships of my closest friend, I prayed to God for a few months to give her someone who would make her feel validated and let her have a healthy relationship.

And bwala! God gave her the happiest and healthiest relationship she ever had.

Last, I prayed for my dad to give him the promotion he deserves, since he was praying for that position for almost 20 years. Pinagdasal ko yun and nagpapasalamat ako kay God na binigay niya yon kay dad.

I know you're praying to God to give you someone you could lean on, and that you wish to enter the national team, A.

I saw all of your IG notes, masakit, obviously. Hindi ako yung pinapatamaan mo doon, and I know hindi ako yun. Di mo ako type, sabi nga nila "Wag ka na mangarap teh!" and I know hindi rin ako physically appealing no! (Few times nga lang tayo nag usap as athlete-photog pa, work lang talaga) HAHAHA

And now, bilang love language ko, you became part of my prayer. Hindi ko dasal kay God na maging "tayo," since ayoko ipilit sa Kanya yon. Ang dasal ko sa Kanya ay masagot Niya lahat ng dasal mo.

"Sana mahanapan mo siya Lord ng partner na nandyan palagi sa tabi niya at mamahalin siya. Sana worth it lahat ng trainings niya at makapasok sa nationals."

Galit ako sa mga taong nagturo na mahirap kang mahalin.

Ngunit kanino ako magagalit kung hindi mo kayang sumugal ulit dahil lang sa tingin mo mahirap kang tanggapin?

At maaring hanggang dito na lang.